The Blue Kingdom

Her body was aching. Not that type of pain you get from an injury or an illness, but one that grows deep inside the bones, ceaseless, relentless, day after day. Yet, it didn’t matter. Now, while watching the ship docking on the lower deck of the Rigg, Lim only felt remorse.

Why physical and mental pains could torment a machine was a question she didn’t want to ask anymore. Her inner voice, once a confident and advisor, turned to a deep emptiness of silence. It was gone altogether with her health and hope, all together lost in the sea’s bottom with a little robot called Rob.

“They look terrible,” Marie said as Em and Ced strode down the ramp. Lim inspected the bruises with a fast look. They were going to be alright: As the kids. All thanks to Mario, a ranger medic who treated Ivy’s gunshot and Macha’s beating. Lim knew all the details, as she knew everything that happened on that island. Pigeons travel faster than ships.

Em’s lips touched her forehead warmly. “I brought them back.” He whispered. ‘At what cost?’ her inner voice would say if she still had any.

If her mind was still sharp, she’d calculated all the chances, all the probable outcomes of the imminent Tampra retaliation. But the upcoming war was something she’d have to leave to Marie and her navy. At least until she reached her new destination.

“I want to see them,” she said.

Em pushed the chair between people hugging, cheering, and praising each other for winning a battle. For having survived. The displays of happiness for such saddening events sickened her .

“Leave them, they need it,” Em said.

“Have I become that easy to read?”

“Nay, but I know you too well,” Em replied, while opening the door to the infirmary. “I’ll leave you alone with them. I have to talk to Ced, so I’ll send someone to bring you to the office later.”

The room was well lit by an oil lamp over Mario's desk. The doctor was lost in his reading, with his little round glasses almost touching the pages of a book on diseases of the sea. The doctor woke up from his reverie for an instant, nodded his head when he saw Lim, and immediately went back to his business. Macha was leaning against the head of the bed, staring into the blanket that covered his legs. redness and sobbing were clear tips he cried.

Ivy, just as thoughtful,was lying down with her eyes fixed on the ceiling. She’d never show tears in front of anyone. She’d cry later, alone.

Lim prepared a smile as warm as she could master and talked with the most sweet tone she knew. “I am truly happy that you have come back to me.”

“The geckos betrayed us.” Macha mumbled, shamed to raise his eyes from the blanket that covered him. “A lot of rangers died. and island people, and, and…”

“So I heard,” she wanted to tell him it was not his fault. Tell him everything was going to be alright. But she didn’t.

Ivy raised her hand slowly, moving fingers to create words. “I wanted to help, Lim. and I failed them instead. I failed because I’m too weak.”

She wanted to tell her how strong she was. How proud she was of her. She wanted to reassure them both; warm their hearts in hope of a better future. Safe and happy. But that world they were in was turning into a dangerous pit filled with betrayal, suffering, and pain. And to survive it, they needed to toughen up. No matter how hard the cost was.

“When the swell pushes back and you fall onto the sand, get up or the next wave will drown you. If you are too weak to stand back, you’ll drown. If you waste time whining, you’ll drown.”

Ivy turned her head towards her, same as Macha. “You are weak and make mistakes?” Lim continued. “Just like everyone else, dear. No one is perfect. Only the heroes of tales are flawless.”

Lim took one last look at the two kids staring at her silently, wishing that the image would remain engraved in her fading memory forever. As she always did when her family needed a cheer for the troublesome world, Lim worked her features to create a nice and warm smile. This time, she did not get a return as usual. Instead, Ivy went back to her roof and Macha back to his blanket.

With her powerless fragility showing itself, Lim pulled her chair and reached for the doorknob. “And what if the wave is so huge that no one can stand it?” Macha asked as she opened the door.

“Then hold on to each other. That’s what family and friends are for. See you tomorrow, my loves.”

Without their source of energy, perhaps her smiles had lost steam, but her lies were better than ever.

Marie, bouncing an empty pipe with her lips, was sitting over a pile of sacks with her legs crossed. She took the long stem and pointed up. ”Ced and Em are at the office’s terrace swallowing a potato liqueur that cost me more than a sloop.”

Lim stopped the chair to reach for the letter hidden among her clothes. “Bring me to Mento. it’s time.”

“Don’t you want to stay a bit longer? The farewells have started.”

“I cannot hold this masquerade anymore. Em will notice my weakness if I remain long enough. And if that happens, he’d connect the dots right away.”

Marie took the envelope and pulled the wheelchair through the docking corridor. “He will not like a goodbye by letter.”

Lim turned her head slightly to look at the night sky, illuminated by hundreds of paper lanterns floating like fireflies in the rainforest. “No, he will hate it, and me for doing it. He will hate you as well for helping me.”

Marie chuckled. “There is a long list of people who already do. I’ll manage.”

Mento was waiting next to a small steamboat, crooning a prayer to the lighted sky. That was the way to farewell the departed in the south of the Ring. The way of the Ujan, Temasek and many others. The sea, calm and flat, was littered with candles over coconut skins, drifting away from the floating villages. That was the way of Jo-Dan, Hieng and many others north of the Ring. Sky and ocean, filled with lights of goodbye. The ways of the many cultures of the Blue Kingdom.

“It’s beautiful,” Lim whispered.

“It is,” Marie said, handing the chair to Mento. “I hope your plan succeeds and you can return to us.”

“It will. And I will. Promise.” That was a promise Lim wouldn’t keep. Luckily Marie wouldn’t notice, as her lies were better than ever.