The Beginning After The End

TESSIA ERALITH

"It's so strange, always being the center of attention," Alice said as she refilled our glasses with cold water from a pitcher. "We're just these very plain people, surrounded by actual deities-or at least what we've always thought of as deities-but they're all so interested in us." She stared down into the pitcher, her eyes glazing over. "It feels like I've slipped and fallen into someone else's life."

I twirled a lock of hair around my fingertip as I considered the dragons we'd been speaking with. "I guess I was always the center of attention in Elenoir, but they seem a lot more interested in the fact that I'm an elf than a princess. The things they ask about..."

I chuckled, and Ellie and Alice laughed alongside me.

"Yeah, they're kind of weird," Ellie said with an amused smile. "One little girl insisted I couldn't really be a lesser, because she'd been told lessers could barely speak or stand upright!"

"Well, things here are going to get a whole lot weirder."

We all turned toward the door, where Arthur had just pushed back the curtain. I began to smile, but the expression faltered as I processed his words and the pained expression on his face.

Ellie's hands flew to her face and she slumped back into the seat she'd been hunkering on the edge of. "No. They didn't! You can't be serious."

Alice's hand began to shake. I quickly took the pitcher from her and set it down on the tile-topped end table before it spilled.

"You...better sit down," Arthur said, rubbing the back of his neck in that silly way he'd done since he was a kid.

His words and demeanor could mean only one thing, as Ellie and Alice both seemed to have already guessed: the asuras had agreed to Lord Eccleiah's proposal.

I found myself wishing that Arthur hadn't spent so much of these last couple of weeks away. He would certainly be pulled into other duties, and it was likely there would be little time to work through everything between us that needed to be addressed. Still, I told myself, perhaps that was for the best. Maybe what we really needed was time.

Forcing myself to appear calm, I took a seat next to Ellie, who had pulled her legs up into the seat tight against her chest.

"I...have officially been named an asura," Arthur said. He spoke mostly to his mother, but twice his eyes flicked to mine, almost too rapidly to notice. "I'm the first of a new race. An archon."

I felt my eyes glaze over, my thoughts dissociating from my physical presence as I struggled to understand what this meant. So much had changed since we sat above the Wall and made our promise to each other. A promise to stay alive. To have a future together. A relationship. A family. It had been a beautiful moment. It was a lovely plan. But Grandpa Virion had taught me early...

No plan survives contact with the opponent.

Was it fair, now, after everything that had happened, to hold Arthur to a sweet promise made naively in the middle of a war that neither of us could control the outcome of?

The room had gone silent. I forced myself to focus. Ellie sat beside me, thunderstruck. I could see the gears of her mind working, and her mouth moved silently, but she seemed at a loss for words. Alice, on the other hand, was looking at Arthur as if he'd just told her to wrestle a world lion with her bare hands. I shared their feelings, but I couldn't let those feelings run away with me.

"What happens now?" I asked to break the silence. "What does this change, exactly, and how would this affect Dicathen and Alacrya?"

Arthur hesitated, exchanging a glance with Sylvie. “Although a new race has been invented for me, really I'll be a representative for our world among the asura. In the end, I think it's necessary to ensure protection for both Dicathen and Alacrya." His head drooped slightly. "With this authority, I can make sure what happened in Elenoir never happens again."

I nodded, and the conversation continued, Ellie and Alice asking a few questions of their own. Despite my best efforts, the longer we spoke, the wearier I began to feel. Afraid that my control might slip and derail the conversation, I waited for a lull and excused myself, returning to my room and sagging into the bed. Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply and thought back to my lessons.

I can't control the world around me, but I can control myself and the way I move within it. It was a lesson my father had tried to drill into my head when I was only a small girl, but I don't think I'd ever truly appreciated his meaning until I lost that control.

Outside the room, Arthur continued speaking, although I would have sworn I could feel his gaze lingering on the room curtain separating us. "We've been 'invited'-I think it's more of an expectation, honestly to visit some of the other lords at their homes."

"Oh, that's..." Alice started but then trailed off, her voice weak.

"I know, Mom," Arthur answered. The sound of his voice changed; he must have moved across the room. "I know what I'm asking you to do, and I know how dangerous this is for all of us, but..."

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to remain calm.

The idea of being dragged to another asuran city made my insides clench like a bloody fist. I missed my family. I missed my home. I was ready to return to Dicathen. I knew Elenoir was gone-my mother and father were gone-but I wanted to see my grandfather. I wanted to be with elves, to hug them and cry with them, to mourn our shared losses in a way I hadn't been able to do yet. Not while I was locked away beneath Cecilia's will.

The rustling of the curtain made me turn my head. I was expecting, or maybe just hoping, to see Arthur there, but I wasn't disappointed when Sylvie stepped into the room and let the curtain fall behind her again. She looked down at me with such understanding that the pressure of sudden tears swelled up behind my eyes as if from nowhere.

I sat up, kicked my legs over the edge of the bed, and blinked back the wetness in my eyes. Sylvie eased down next to me. Instead of speaking, she rested her head on my shoulder.

We sat there like that, just the two of us, for quite a while. In her presence, I felt myself settling again. She had a way of transporting me out of the moment and taking me back in time to simpler days. It was so strange that the little fox-like beast that used to ride around on Arthur's head had grown into this powerful, empathetic young woman. I could so clearly remember when she'd first hatched in Zestier...

I sank into the moment, enjoying the peace and quiet. Instead of worrying about the future, I listened to the rustling our clothes made against the bedsheets with each small movement. I watched as the sunlight refracted through the window to sparkle against the walls. I listened to our breathing as we fell into sync with each other, and sensed the thrumming of Sylvie's mana signature beside me, moving with the same subtle twitchiness as eyes beneath closed lids.

Slowly, the tension all released.

"Thanks," I said eventually.

She reached out and grabbed my hand, taking it in both of her own.

"I...wanted to tell you," I started, suddenly awkward. I knew what I wanted to say, but the words themselves seemed difficult to hold onto. "Good luck. You know, when you go to visit the other asura. You'll protect him? Nevermind, I know you will. I'm sorry I'll miss it, but...I need to go home."

Her hands squeezed mine. "Of course. Arthur told them that they'd have to wait." She regarded me with sudden understanding and then a sympathetic smile. "We're taking you home first, Tessia."

***

The air changed as I stepped out of the portal into darkness. Appearing so suddenly in the cool, dank underground felt almost like waking after Everburn's nearly perfect atmosphere. Like Dicathen was more real, somehow.

My eyes began to adjust, and I found myself standing in the center of a wide, nondescript tunnel. Arthur was already there, having arrived through the portal first.

Behind me, Ellie and Boo appeared, followed by Alice, and then Sylvie.

Our appearance was met by a shout, and we all looked to see several heavily armed dwarven guards hurrying toward us. Behind them was a roughly made wall inset with a small gate.

Before they could reach us, another figure came through the portal. Dressed in the same richly appointed militaristic uniform I'd always seen him in, his otherworldly eyes unreadable, Windsom brought the dwarves up short with a glance.

On first seeing Windsom, I had been thrown back to the battle between Cecilia, Nico, and him. This dragon had helped General Aldir burn Elenoir to ashes. I was mostly catatonic at the time, but Cecilia's memories of the fight were clear enough. It seemed patently unfair that this dragon was still happily serving his lord, able to flit between our world and his at a moment's notice, while the shattered remnants of my people were cast off and homeless with nowhere to go.

"Darv, as requested," Windsom said in his clipped manner. "The city of Vildorial is beyond that gate." He indicated the guards. "Virion Eralith and a procession of elves are here, though the bulk of the refugees were relocated before Agrona's last attack."

The dwarves, finally able to look past Windsom at the rest of us, recognized Arthur immediately. "Regent Leywin! You're alive..." The dwarf in charge turned to one of his men. "Go to Lodenhold immediately. Inform Lords Earthborn and Silvershale that-"

"Hold that thought," Arthur said, raising a hand. "I have business to attend to, then I'll go to the council myself."

The dwarves looked at each other awkwardly, but none of them moved.

"Well, Arthur, if there is nothing else, I'm afraid I am too busy to shuttle you around"

"Lord Leywin," Arthur said, cutting Windsom off.

Despite my anger toward Windsom, I couldn't help but flinch at the confrontation of their opposing intents. It wasn't only me, as Alice and Ellie instinctively backed away within the confines of the dim tunnel, and Boo moved to shield them from the conflict.

"Of course...Lord Leywin. I apologize." Windsom bowed low, hiding his expression from sight.

"No problem, Windsom." Arthur's gaze was penetrating, his tone frosty. "It's quite the change for you to get used to, I know. But I'm certain you will."

"Of course." The asura feigned an attitude of servility, but I could practically see his irritation seething just beneath his skin. "I'll return in two days to open the way back to Epheotus."

"You're dismissed for now, then," Arthur said, turning away from Windsom.

The dwarven guards, who had watched the exchange like wide-eyed statues, bent into deep bows before Windsom as he turned toward the portal.

I caught Ellie and Alice exchange a glance, but neither moved to show any obeisance to him. I raised my chin and stood tall, but he did not look back at any of us before vanishing into the portal, which then melted away.

I didn't voice my thoughts out loud to Arthur, but I felt a thrill at seeing him put Windsom in his place. A part of me wished that Arthur had been even crueler.

The thought turned sour as soon as I had it. I'm not Cecilia, to take pleasure in such things. As Arthur approached the guards and waved for them to stand, I pushed the thoughts away, making room for the jittery nerves I felt at the thought of seeing Grandpa Virion.

A hand slid into mine, and I looked over at Ellie, who smiled. "You've got that face on again."

I gave her an embarrassed smile back. Over the last two weeks, she'd started calling me out whenever I had my "worried face" on. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"Please, don't apologize," Sylvie said from my other side just before taking that hand, so the three of us were walking along in a chain like we were children. "You've been through a lot, and you've only had a couple of weeks to recover. That kind of trauma could take years just to start unraveling."

"Geez, thanks," I said teasingly, pulling Sylvie closer so our shoulders bumped together. The three of us all shared a laugh.

The guards opened the gate, and Arthur exchanged a few more quiet words with them as the rest of us stepped through into the massive cavern that housed the city of Vildorial.

"Wow," I said, turning around to take in the entire cavern.

Vildorial wasn't unlike a beehive that had been turned inside out. Dwellings of all shapes and sizes were carved into the outer walls, while a curving highway circled round and round as it descended, connecting the various levels. Its people, mostly dwarves, moved about busily, some wearing large packs, others dragging carts or leading mana beasts to do it for them.

The flow of traffic past us began to slow as people realized that Arthur was with us. He quickly began leading us up the highway as the first shout of, "Lance Arthur!" resounded through the cavern. The crowd gathered behind us, with many of the dwarves abandoning what they were doing to follow along and shout out their thanks or messages of welcome. But not all of them were glad for his presence.

"You abandoned us!" one woman yelled. "My boy's dead. The Alacryans killed him when they attacked, and where were you!" Someone tried to grab her, but she shoved them away. "Our regent? Our protector? Look at him!" This last part was directed at the gathered crowd. "He's no better than the dragons or the Alacryans!"

"You shut your mouth,” a rough-looking dwarf yelled.

"They're just letting them all go!" another man shouted, gaping at Arthur desperately. "The Alacryans who attacked us. Letting them go!"

"Enough with outsiders!" the first woman shouted. "Darv for the dwarves! Hang them all by their-"

Someone else shoved the woman, and a scuffle quickly broke out, interrupting the frenzied tirade. Boo began to growl, interposing himself between Ellie and the aggressors.

Arthur hadn't paid the shouting any mind, but now he stopped and turned back. As physical blows started to fly, he waded into the melee, separating the dwarves with his presence alone. The brawl ended as abruptly as it began. A group of nearby guards, who had started in our direction, hesitated and glanced at each other nervously.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Arthur said, his voice soft enough that the dwarves around him had to strain to listen. "I'm sorry for all who lost loved ones in this war, whether it was in the last battle or the first one years ago," he continued, looking around at everyone. "I know all kinds of rumors must have spread in the absence of factual information over these last couple of weeks. Don't fall prey to those who would feed on your fears. I am on my way now to explain everything to your leaders. They will share the truth soon enough."

Wide-eyed, sweating dwarves watched as Arthur moved among them. A couple even reached out, their fingers brushing his arm or the back of his hand. They lingered there as we moved on, the whole crowd just kind of standing in the highway, clearly uncertain what to do now.

"Well, it's to be expected, I suppose," Ellie said softly, almost as if she were talking to herself. "I hope everyone else is okay."

"We'll find out soon enough," Arthur said over his shoulder.

The highway led directly to the dwarven palace, but Arthur did not take us to see the dwarven lords. Instead, he guided us into a series of smaller tunnels and eventually to a very long switchback stair. We passed through a small cave into...

Well, into something I hadn't expected at all.

I knew that Arthur was leading us to Grandpa Virion, and it felt like we'd climbed nearly all the way to the surface to reach this chamber, but even then, I would have expected desert...not this.

A gorgeous oasis within all the stone opened up before us. The grotto was brightly lit by little bobbing lights that floated and danced over verdant green moss and emerald vines that grew to hide the walls.

Most amazing of all, though, was the large tree that filled up the center of the grotto. I recognized its broad leaves and pink buds immediately. "This tree is from Elshire Forest..."

"And gives this place its name," Arthur said softly. "This is the Elshire Grove."

"It's beautiful," I said, looking around again. This time, my focus caught on a patch of ground where the moss had been cleared away in favor of dark, fresh soil.

Many seedlings poked up in neat rows. It was among the seedlings that I first sensed my grandfather's signature, and my head jerked back to the tree just as he stepped out of the small house grown into its branches.

"Arthur, is that you? I..." His voice trailed off as he looked down from the balcony of the small treehouse.

A fear I had been quietly nursing came rushing forward.

Cecilia had done terrible things while wearing my face, my body. The average dwarf on the street might not have recognized me—or her-by sight, but I was terrified that my grandfather would see not me, but her. I didn't think I could stand to see a look of horror on his face at my appearance.

And yet...

As his jaw slackened and his eyes grew wide and sparkling, a light seemed to shine through from within him. There was nothing like apprehension or horror on his face, and in an instant, I watched as years of fear and hardship melted from him.

He sprang over the balcony rail, fell lightly to the ground over a dozen feet below, and sprinted toward me. "T-Tessia!" he choked, his throat constricted with emotion.

Already feeling myself beginning to break, I ran to meet him. We collided, and Grandpa flung his arms around me. I collapsed into them, a desperate sob wracking my body. All the stress, anxiety, confusion, and existential dread I had felt over the last two weeks burst out of me like I'd cast a water-attribute spell from my eyes.

Grandpa sank down to his knees, holding me like he'd done when I was just a child. He made calming noises and petted my hair. I lacked the wherewithal to feel shame or guilt at this display in front of Arthur and his family.

"H-how did you know?" I gasped out through choked sobs, desperate for him to understand.

"You're my granddaughter," he said, his rasping voice as comfortable as a weighted blanket. "One look at you is enough.”

As I continued to cry, it wasn't just the last couple of weeks that poured out of me. I couldn't easily calculate the exact length of time I had spent behind Cecilia, from the moment Elijah-Nico-captured me in Elenoir to the final fateful hours after I helped Cecilia escape the Relictombs and return to Agrona. A year, probably more, but it felt like a lifetime. Two lifetimes. I'd died and been reborn an entirely changed person.

And all of it, every agonizing moment of sharing mental space with the stunted, damaged child that was Cecilia, the memories of all the horrible things she'd done while in my body, all the memories of Arthur's past life that Cecilia had shared-both the real and the invented ones-every strange thing I'd experienced and discovered...

It all came pouring out of me.

Arthur was speaking. He said something about Agrona and the asura. Explaining where we'd been for the last couple of weeks and why he didn't bring me home sooner.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could stay, but there are several other people I really need to speak to, and I'm not sure how long I'll be in Vildorial," he finished. "We'll give you some time...just to be in each other's company."

My sobbing subsided, and I wiped my eyes and began to disentangle myself from my grandfather. He held me protectively, but I smiled up at him. "No need to hold me so tightly, Grandpa. I promise, I'm not going anywhere. But...I need a moment alone with Arthur before he goes. Just a moment."

"The brat's had you for two weeks already, I..." Looking into my eyes, he trailed off. His face was an indecipherable mess of conflicting emotions forged into a single expression, but joy and trust shone through brightest of all. With an understanding smile, he helped me stand and took a few steps back.

Sylvie, Ellie, and Alice gave me hugs in turn and assured me they'd be back to help me get settled in. Arthur then sent them ahead, explaining he would catch up before leading me to stand by the small arboretum full of seedlings.

I bent down and ran my fingers through the soil. It was the richest I had ever seen, teaming with earth-attribute mana. "There is a touch of Epheotus in this."

"There is. It was a gift. From...Aldir. A token, something to help make up for what he did," Arthur explained. "Not that anything could."

I'd already heard the truth of what had happened to Aldir, the asura who'd burned my home. This information brought me no peace, but I couldn't help the spark of homesickness and...hope...that the Elshire trees brought me.

"What did you want to say?" Arthur asked, leaning down beside me and pretending to examine the leaves of a tree. Really, though, all his attention was on me. He was taut as a drawn bowstring.

"I don't want to say the wrong thing or belabor it so I'll try to be straightforward," I said, the words rushing out of me. "A lot has changed, Arthur. Too much. Everything." He opened his mouth to speak, but I pushed on, afraid that if I didn't, I'd lose my nerve. "We said it before: the promise we made-the moment and the words we shared-it was all so beautiful. And it was real. And...it was important. There were so many times I wanted to just give up, to let myself fade or sacrifice myself to destroy Cecilia. In the end, it was that promise between us that gave me the strength to survive when death was so much easier. But the truth is, I'm not the person you made that promise to anymore. And...and..."

"And I'm not the person you thought I was when you made that promise," Arthur said plainly. He was calm. Serious. Understanding.

I shook my head, and my hair fell down in front of my eyes. "I know who you are, Arthur. I do, really. And that's why I'm releasing you from the promise we made. Thank you for making it. I'll cherish that moment forever, but I won't cling to it at the expense of the world's future."

I stood, brushing back my hair. Arthur immediately raised a hand to wipe away my tears, but there were none. He hesitated. I took his hand in both of mine and held it between us as I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. My heart broke at the softness of his lips and the unsteady rhythm of his pulse, but my resolution didn't wane. The heart wants what the heart wants, but my spirit was at ease with my decision.

Pulling away, I let myself dive into the twin golden orbs of his eyes. They really were the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. "Be careful, Arthur," I heard myself say, barely cognisant of the words. "Don't lose yourself in all of this."

I let his hand slip out of mine, and I turned away, knowing he needed me to. I could feel the intensity of his gaze on my back like the rays of the sun, and I bore it.