The Beast and The Swallow

Noah's forlorn expression seemed to sap away the warmth of the sunny day. Gently stroking his arm, Lorelei wished there could be a way for all her love to flow into him and wash his pain away. Alas, all she could do was kiss him and silently follow his lead.

The two crossed the castle, barely aware of the lively hubbub around them. Lorelei's apprehension grew by the minute until they reached Noah's study. Confused, she followed him into the familiar room. Nothing much had changed since her last visit, except that now, instead of the midnight murk, the sun was painting golden facets on the walls, turning them into giant honeycombs. The fireplace was out, only a couple of embers gleaming in the ashes in wait for the night servants to fan them aflame. Stacks of paper and rolls of parchment flooded the desk and the dark-wood bookshelves, spilling onto the floor into neat piles.

"Sorry!" Noah's head sank between his shoulders while his hand drew a circle into the air, encompassing the chaos. "With all the recent events I have…"

His words trailed off, and Lorelei could swear he blushed under his dark complexion. Her heart melted, and she hugged his arm.

"No need to be so shy," she said lightly. "I am no stranger to chaos, you know."

"I do." Noah pinched her playfully, and for a moment, his sadness seemed to ebb away. "But I pray the day never comes when I reach your level, my dear."

"The nerve!" Lorelei huffed, but still, his jab at her tidiness hit the mark. "Just to clarify, my chaos is very well organized! I know where everything is… mostly. But it's a good tactic against snooping intruders."

"There are other ways to deter spies other than… your one-of-a-kind organization, my love."

Noah walked to the wall beside the fireplace, and his hand brushed against one of many inconspicuous gaps between the stones. A tiny key appeared between his fingers and slid silently into the masked keyhole. An almost inaudible click announced the hidden door being unlocked. All that was needed now was a light push from Noah, and a substantial chunk of the wall fell back on its oiled hinges, revealing a well-lit secret passage.

Pulling gently on Lorelei's hand, he ushered her through the narrow hallway.

"Although the walls are pretty thick, keep your voice down," he whispered. "Some in our household have extremely good hearing, and I have no desire for everyone to know about my secret retreat."

Lorelei nodded, eyes round and mouth agape. The reveal of the secret passage and the anticipation of what awaited them at the end began to dissolve the clump of anxiety in her chest, leaving behind childish excitement. They were like the two braves from the troubadours' tales, sneaking their way into a dragon's lair. However, guilt soon followed the adventurous palpitations. Noah was about to share something important and personal with her, something that made him hurt, and yet she was acting like they were going to have fun.

"Are you scared?" His breathy whisper made her spine tingle. Looking up, she saw his eyes peeled on her. "You suddenly paled. Should we go back?"

"No!" Lorelei put her hands over her mouth, ashamed of raising her voice. She added softly: "I was… thinking nonsense."

"Really?" He lifted an eyebrow. "Like what? And don't you dare try to beat around the bush. Today is Honesty Day."

Despite his well-played cheerfulness, Lorelei could feel the dark foreboding in Noah's every word. He was afraid that he had done something to hurt her or frighten her, or anger her. That sweet fool dreaded her answer, yet still insisted on hearing it in hopes of righting his non-existent wrongs. Realising all this, Lorelei could not keep silent. Her pride was nothing compared to his needless self-deprecation.

Coughing nervously, she quickly told him in a half-voice about her stroke of imagination. His anxious eyes immediately lit up with that devilish gleam she adored.

"Such a poetic comparison, dear!" he said, his voice - the low, sonorous purr of a contented feline. "But slightly inaccurate nonetheless."

"Oh?" Lorelei squinted, failing to restrain her smile.

"Oh, yes. Instead of two braves targeting a dragon's den, isn't our situation more the one of a beast luring an innocent doe into his lair?"

Lorelei was just about to retort when the narrow passageway suddenly ended as a peeling, cracked wall barred their way. The small key appeared in Noah's hands again, opening yet another secret door. Bright light spilled out, blinding her momentarily. She felt Noah's hand on the small of her back.

"Welcome to my den, Lady Swallow."

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

After blinking a couple of times, Lorelei was able to assess the new room. It was not like she knew what to expect, but what she saw was beyond her wildest imagination. The best word to describe it was cozy. The walls up to her chest were covered by a reddish-brown wainscotting. Above it bloomed frescoes of green vines with game and colorful birds hiding between them. Iron-studded chests lined the walls and hid under the tall windows, several of them bearing books or rolled maps, and one - a tray of wine and sweetmeats. A large yet simple four-poster bed, a small desk, and a couple of comfortable chairs was the only other furniture.

"It's nothing much," murmured Noah, his whole being exuding an unnatural shyness. "Not quite fitting a duke, right?"

"Who cares?" Lorelei marveled at the depiction of a golden pheasant on the wall. "As long as you feel comfortable."

"You must be disappointed. After all the secrecy and mystique…"

"No. Just a bit perplexed." She looked him in the eye. "When I first did the tour of Ildemar, I was shown your bedroom. Another one. With lots of gold embellishments, trophies, draperies, and furniture."

"Yea…" Noah cleared his throat. "That one is the… official bedchamber. I, however, prefer this one."

"Because of the quiet?"

"Yes…" He caught her piercing glance. "It is harder to reach. And there are fewer places for someone to hide."

Assassins!

A cold shower ran down Loreli's spine, and she cursed herself for the negligence.

"Sorry, I was so stupid."

"Don't apologize!" He drew her into his embrace. "I am happy that you saw all this with innocent eyes."

"But I should have known. Being wary of assassination is crucial-"

"My dear, I'm glad you never had a reason to develop a habit and understanding of those things. But I fear that you will have to learn from now on."

"So that's why you brought me here."

"Yes and no."

He let go of her and stepped to the fireplace. On its right hung a single colorful tapestry. Just as Lorelei was expecting him to lift it up and reveal another hidden door, he instead pushed the eye of a deer painted on the wall on the left from the mantle. The new passageway opened into a short tunnel, a gust of fresh wind and the chirping of birds indicating that it led outside.

"What I want you to see lies there," he said, weight returning to his voice.

Lorelei nodded sharply and followed after him.

The passage exited into a round inner courtyard. Steep natural cliffs marked one half, while the white walls of Ildemar finished the circle on the opposite side. Although it looked like the bottom of a well, there was more than enough radiant sunlight bathing this secret garden. A single pathway split the perfectly concentric flower beds, leading to two giant stones erected right in the middle of the garden. One of the marble slabs was pure white with tiny golden veins crisscrossing the surface; the other one was smooth and shiny like obsidian.

As they came closer, Lorelei could see rows of names written on both monuments, however, the black one also contained an array of rune-like symbols she didn't recognize. Noah stood before the white stone, his fingers gently caressing the chiseled letters.

"I carved every name here," he said hoarsely. "You might recognize some of them."

Looking more closely, Lorelei held her breath, her eyes rounding. Amongst the rows and columns of names, she saw Yanosh and Orhana. Below them, another pair caught her attention - Jenna and Radosh De Mar, and to their right - Oliver and Raina De Vindur. And at the very bottom of the memorial, with crooked and uneven letters hewn by a shaky, inexperienced hand, were three more names - Gulfidan, Isra, and Ishtar.

A knot clogged Lorelei's throat. When she looked at Noah, his eyes were glassy.

"These are the ones who died for me," he whispered. "Who died because of me. My mother. My sisters. My friends. My teachers, guards, and servants. They all perished protecting me… or due to my mistakes."

He leaned in and kissed the white marble before turning to the black slab.

"Those ones… died by my hand." His palm rested on the obsidian surface. "Nameless assassins. Enemy soldiers. Red Hands. All lives I've ripped in the name of… survival. Vengeance. Justice."

When he turned back to her, Lorelei saw a single tear rolling down his face.

"These are my ghosts," he said hoarsely. "My precious, dreadful nightmares. My past and… future."

Lorelei lowered her head, and her eyes stung. From the depths of her memory, Neli's voice suddenly surfaced: 'Why do you think he always wears black? So that the blood wouldn't show!' Lightning ran through her body. She abruptly lifted her head, her mind finally piecing together the truth.

"You… are mourning!" she gasped. "The black of bereavement! All those years…?"

"Yes," came the quiet reply. "I… couldn't let them be forgotten. I have no right to forget them. You must think I'm a hypocrite. A monster."

"A monster doesn't feel remorse, my love." She hugged him tightly. "You are many things, but definitely not a monster. And I'll repeat it as often as needed until you grasp this."

"Thank you, Lorelei."

He whispered her name with such reverence, as if worshiping a goddess. The strong beats of his heart shook her to the core. His body quaked - a dormant volcano of suppresed grief and stiffled emotion that yearned for an outlet. After a while, his will prevailed and the tremors seized. He loosened his embrace and took Lorelei's hand. To her surprise, Noah knelt before the white stone, his gaze pleading with her to follow. She did.

"Hello, mother, Yani, Hana…" he said solemnly. "I've brought you a special guest."