Chapter 204: Struggling with an ideal.
Runes flashed as Aldric smashed into the earth with a groan, his face almost entirely covered in frost. He scrambled, but before he could stand, Daruk attacked once again, sending a fist into his stomach.
Aodhán cringed in sympathy. "Oof, that's got to hurt."
Rahim snorted. "I'm not sure Aldric is as concerned for the pain as he is for the humiliation. After all, he's getting tossed around like a ragdoll by none other than his youngest brother."
Aodhán grimaced, feeling a bit of sympathy for Aldric. "Okay, that has got to sting. And in front of all these people."
Rahim hummed and stroked his beard thoughtfully, as if mulling over Aodhán's sentence despite its mundanity. After a while, he frowned and turned to the nearest guard. "What is the penalty for fighting within the courtyard like this?"
Aodhán looked at the guard, slightly alarmed as he mentally berated himself for not thinking of that earlier. They had just spent a shit ton of money and only had a few gold coins left to their name. They couldn't afford any penalties at this point.
Fortunately, the guard simply shrugged. "As long as they don't destroy anything, there's no penalty. You'll be surprised just how many scenes like this we get in the courtyard."
Rahim chuckled, and Aodhán relaxed. Assured that they wouldn't accrue any debt for this, he shouted to Daruk. "Pull back those punches, Daruk. We are broke."
The guards around him laughed, and Rahim shook his head as another punch from Daruk sent Aldric flying. He smashed against a wall and cried out, but Daruk didn't stop. He launched himself toward Aldric once more, icy fury burning within his veins.
Aldric hit the ground, blowing up a cloud of dust, and Aodhán sighed. Despite his sympathies, he couldn't deny that he was taking a great deal of pleasure from seeing Aldric tossed around this way. Beating Aldric up wouldn't solve anything, but after the ordeal they had just gone through, a little rough handling was in order.
"Fuck!" Aldric cursed as he stumbled to his feet and raised a hand to manipulate Daruk's emotions, only to come in contact with a wall of frigid willpower instead. He yelped from the backlash, blood streaming down the side of his face, just as another punch landed and blasted him backwards.
For the next few minutes, Daruk took out his frustrations on Aldric. Perhaps it was because he was always so cool and collected that his feral anger felt odd to Aodhán, but he was all for it. Daruk's cold approach to his emotions had always worried Aodhán. Even before his awakening, Daruk had always been a little emotionally detached, but his ice affinity had not helped matters at all.
This eruption of emotion was good for him. It was good for both of them. Aldric needed a lesson in humility, and Daruk needed to lose a bit of control. So, even as his sympathy for Aldric grew, Aodhán still refused to step in. This was a matter between brothers. It was better not to interfere.
The guards seemed to have the same idea, and together they watched the scene unfold and de-escalate passively. With a final kick to the chest, Daruk came to a standstill and stretched a hand to help Aldric up.
Aldric slapped his hand away and coughed. Twisting his legs sharply, he pulled Daruk's legs from under him and sent a punch directly into his guts.
"Fucking prick!" Aldric cursed, while Daruk groaned before sending a wave of ice at Aldric to freeze him half to death.
Rahim chuckled. "I think we'd better step in now before they kill each other."
"Yeah, we better." Aodhán grimaced, already feeling bad for Aldric. Daruk might have pulled his punches, but Aldric had still taken a hell of a beating. His body was covered in scratches, and his left eye was swollen shut.
It was a testament to how physically strong Aldric had become that he wasn't more injured after a fight with an evolved awakened of Daruk's caliber. Aodhán wondered just how many body enhancement techniques Aldric had undergone to get this strong, but he was also glad that Aldric wasn't quite as helpless as they had assumed. After all, he had taken down an advanced-class baron all by himself.
With a snap of his fingers, Rahim teleported Aldric and Daruk to opposite sides of the courtyard and held them there. Raising a hand to call their attention, Rahim said to Daruk. "I think it's safe to say your brother has learned his lesson."
Aodhán nodded. "I agree. There's no need to start round two."
Daruk spat out blood and glared at Aldric. "Learned or not, you have to choose a better profession after this. This will be the last time I bail you out of anything." He turned his glare to Aodhán and added, "Aodhán too."
Aodhán sighed. "We'll discuss that among ourselves. Aldric will choose a better profession after this. I might not have encouraged the smuggling, but I was never fervent in discouraging it either. That's probably why we are in this mess."
Aldric spat but said nothing, and Aodhán sighed. He glanced around the court, hating the place, yet unable to deny its beauty. As he looked around, however, his gaze fell on a group of earth-awakened soldiers flying to the top of a spire without the use of lifts. Instead, they used what he identified as anti-gravity boots.
He had seen a few people use them before, but for some reason they stood out to him now, their soles gleaming with the light of grand runes. He stared at the soldiers until they left his line of sight, feeling a slight resonance within his spirit every time the boot flared with runes.
It was a pretty common item in the upper sectors, yet even when the soldiers left his line of sight, the image of boots remained in his mind as if burned into his retina. Aodhán frowned as an idea for an item rose in his mind—unique and weird—but he pushed it to the back of his mind and turned to face Rahim. "Let's go."
Rahim nodded, and with another snap of his finger, he teleported all four of them to the top of the teleportation tower. Immediately they arrived, Aodhán stepped in between Daruk and Aldric to prevent any more attacks. He fished out a small healing pill from his spatial necklace and handed it to Aldric. "Take this; it should patch you up nicely."
Aldric scowled at him but accepted the pill and swallowed it, grimacing as it most likely burned its way into his core. After the inevitable pain subsided, Aldric pulled out a black jacket from his spatial ring and put it on to cover his injuries.
Looking a little less beaten up, he tried to walk past Aodhán, but Aodhán stretched a hand to stop him. "We need to talk."
"No, we need to get out of here." Aldric spat. "You can say whatever you want to say after we've left this blasted vicinity. I feel so humiliated."
Cringing in sympathy, Aodhán shifted out of the way. Aldric was right. This wasn't the right place or time for the conversation he wanted to have.
Exhaling deeply, he followed them into the teleportation circle, and after they completed the necessary checks, the four of them reappeared atop the library of the fifth academy.
Kaelith appeared almost immediately, tearing his way out of a swirling portal to receive them. When his gaze landed on them, he muttered. "It seems you guys have a lot to tell us."
"We do." Rahim nodded. "Fortunately, we made it out of there without signing anything."
Kaelith sighed. "Bless Raol, because Zatya is freaking the fuck out." In a lower tone, he added. "Not that she doesn't trust you, Rahim."
"I take no offense." Rahim shook his head. "I'm amazed she trusted me with this at all."
Kaelith laughed and finally turned his attention to Aldric, who stood to the side, touching his purple face tenderly. "I take it this is our smuggler. Perhaps he would like to meet the principal—
"No, he wouldn't."
"No, I wouldn't."
Aodhán and Aldric said at the same time. They exchanged a glance, and Aodhán continued. "He'll make a full recovery in a day or two. Until then, he'll remain with the healers—then he's free to go on his merry way."
Aldric glanced at him and shrugged. "I like that plan."
"Then I'll come with you to the hospital," Daruk said with a grimace, as if the words physically hurt him to say. Daruk hated hospitals, though, so his offering was a big deal. If Aldric had any heart, he would reject—
"I accept," Aldric said with a grin, even though the bruises on his face had to hurt. "It'd mean a lot to me if you stayed the whole night."
Daruk's grimace deepened, but he didn't refuse and simply gestured for them to get going. Rahim helped them with a portal that took them straight to the hospital, and a moment later, only Aodhán, Rahim, and Kaelith were left atop the library.
Kaelith observed them for a moment, then shrugged. "This isn't a prison. Your brother is free to do as he pleases—as long as he follows the rules." He smiled and waved them forward. "Come on, let's go see the principal before she combusts. I've been managing her all morning."
They made their way to Principal Zatya's office, but before they could even knock, the door swung open and a cold wind pushed them all into the office. Principal Zatya was on her feet in an instant, and before Aodhán could even blink, she had his jaw in a vice grip, eyes narrowed in scrutiny.
Aodhán stayed still, unsure why she was staring this deeply into his eyes. This close within her personal space, Aodhán dared not twitch. Time seemed to stretch unnaturally—seconds dragging out until they felt like an eternity.
When she finally pulled back, Aodhán scrambled backwards, his heart pounding like he'd just run a marathon. "What was that?"
"A spiritual search." Principal Zatya responded casually. "I needed to make sure the council hadn't fooled you into taking an oath or forming a karmic connection with them in any way." She returned to her seat and scowled. "I heard the bail they requested. Ludicrous."
Shaking her head in disgust, she turned to Rahim and asked. "Tell me all that happened from the moment you arrived at the court."
Rahim did, starting his narration from the moment they arrived atop the teleportation tower of the Awakened Court. The whole story lasted about ten minutes, after which Principal Zatya finally relaxed and settled back in her chair.
Stolen story; please report.
"The council is growing wings," she said. "They're getting less afraid of me—and that makes them more dangerous, Aodhán. You may have slipped past their traps this time, but what about next time? Or the time after that?"
Aodhán's frown deepened as unease coiled tighter in his gut.
Kaelith turned to Zatya, his brow furrowed. "Is there nothing you can do?"
Principal Zatya grinned. "Oh, there are plenty of things I could do."
She lapsed into an eerie silence that no one dared interrupt—until she abruptly gestured for Aodhán to leave.
Aodhán blinked. "Uhm… just like that?"
"Yes." She replied flatly, and Aodhán narrowed his eyes in suspicion. What was she planning now, and why couldn't he be here to hear it? Still, he didn't push. With one last glance at Rahim, he turned and left, muttering under his breath as he shut the door and began walking down the hallway.
It was moments like this—when he couldn't decide whether he hated the principal or not—that he hated himself the most. She treated him like a tool half the time, yet he couldn't deny the advantages of being under her protection.
It was because of her that he could do the things he did. Had it been some random person who created the rain skill, Aodhán knew the life of such a person wouldn't be nearly as quiet or peaceful as his was now. Most likely, they would've been roped into a contract, forced to mass-produce the Clarity Rain, which would then be marketed like a drug to wealthy sleepers or mundane awakeneds desperate to experience the overwhelming surge of power and perception it granted.
Sighing in annoyance, Aodhán made his way toward the training hall, where he suspected Yurin and Andrew were waiting for him. He didn't spend long with them before making his way to the hospital to check on Aldric.
It had been a while since Aodhán's last visit to the hospital, but he quickly found his way around. After asking a young healer for directions, he made his way to Aldric's ward and, unsurprisingly, walked straight into an argument.
The moment they saw him, Daruk threw up his hands. "Thank Raol, you're here. I can't stay here another minute."
He stormed out of the ward, and Aodhán frowned. That was an excessive display of emotion from Daruk. He wanted to chase after him, ask if he was alright, but there was no way he could deal with everything at once. Exhaling, he fixed his gaze on Aldric. "Are you messing with his emotions, or is he tweaking?"
"He's fucking tweaking." Aldric spat, turning his glare toward Aodhán. "And you are too, if you think I'm going to sit here while you lecture me. I'm not a child. I can make my own decisions."
"I'm not so sure about that," Aodhán responded calmly. "You don't seem to grasp just how badly those decisions affect us. I only managed to escape getting hooked by the council today by sheer luck and… I don't know, prayers?"
He moved to sit on the bed, his tone firm as he continued. "You can't work for the Ravens anymore. I should have pushed harder against it when you first told me, but honestly, I'm not sure that would have changed anything."
"It wouldn't," Aldric replied, his eyes hardening for a moment before his expression softened and he sighed. "I'm sorry for what happened today. I'm not blind to how it affects our family either, but you understand how I feel, don't you? I can sense it. You pity me. You look at me like I'm broken, but you can't begin to grasp the weight of it. Do you know what it's like to be the first son and yet the weakest? My own younger brother beat the shit out of me today, and I could barely lift a finger in my own defense. I'm a fucking failure, Aodhán. I would be worse if I hadn't joined the Ravens. My future's a dead end. If I don't figure it out, I'll be left behind to rot in the dirt."
Aodhán swallowed hard and sighed. "We are not going to leave you in the dirt, Aldric. We are here for you, to raise you if you ever need it."
"That's just it." Aldric's voice cracked as he wiped away a tear. "I don't want my younger brothers raising me. I don't want that pity, Aodhán. I can feel it. Every time Mum and Dad look at me, I know they see me as nothing more than a disappointment. It's not their fault, not really. They don't mean it, but I feel it every time. I hate it. I love you both so much, but I can't stand being the weak link. It tears me apart."
"I need to improve myself, if only so my own family stops pitying me. After Mum and Dad, I'll be the first to die. Does that not scare you, because it scares the shit out of me? Who'll take care of you and Daruk when I'm gone? Daruk seems like he'll be fine on his own, but you… You'll need me, and you know it. But I can't be there. I won't be there, because I'll be fucking dead by then, and even if I weren't, you'll be too powerful that I wouldn't be able to help you at all. You're only a single class above me right now, and yet it's a hassle just smoothing the rough edges of your emotional pool. I need power, Aodhán, and I don't know how to get it, but I just know I won't get it in any conventional way. Even you have to see this."
Aodhán exhaled deeply, unable to deny the truth in Aodhán's words. He had always known Aldric felt bad about the hand fate had dealt him. It was the reason why he always pretended to be nonchalant and above it all. But hearing Aldric speak so openly, so raw, struck a chord deeper than Aodhán had anticipated. In that vulnerable moment, he realized just how much Aldric was suffering.
Aldric had already mapped out a future so bleak, so full of fears Aodhán hadn't dared consider. It wasn't pretty, but more crushing was the fact that it was true. Aodhán hated dealing with overwhelming emotions, but he couldn't ignore this one. He needed to help Aldric in any way he could.
A warmth pooled within his spirit as the thought resonated in his mind, but Aodhán was too preoccupied to notice. He grabbed Aldric's arm and squeezed it reassuringly. "I want to help you. How can I do so?"
Aldric opened his mouth, but he hesitated and then shook his head. "No, don't worry."
"I insist." Aodhán pressed. "Tell me, and I promise I'll try."
Aldric's jaw flexed as he thought for a moment, hesitant to speak the words in his mind, yet tempted. Shaking his head, he stood up and began pacing. The words lay on the tip of his tongue, yet Aldric hesitated, knowing just how dangerous what he was about to ask for was. Still, he would be a fool not to ask now that Aodhán had given him the opportunity.
Bracing himself, he turned and met Aodhán's gaze head-on. "I want you to use your Clarity Rain on me at full power. I want you to pour everything you've got into a single drop of rain—and give it to me. That's what I want."
Needless to say, Aodhán was shocked. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it was nowhere near that. His mouth fell open in disbelief. "What?! You can't be serious."
"I am," Aldric said, not breaking eye contact. "I heard what the soldiers said about the Steppin' Plains. They found inspiration and earned seals just from using one seal's worth, split across a thousand drops. Do you even realize what that means? Do you understand how absurd that is? Can you imagine what would happen if you poured all of it into just one drop?"
"I cannot do anything but imagine." Aodhán snapped as he rose to his feet and began pacing, thoughts bubbling within his mind. "No, no, no, Aldric, this is dangerous. You could lose your mind and go insane. You could die!"
"Or I could live and gain something powerful. Something so out of this world that reality itself strains to contain it. I've been reading and accumulating treasures for inspiration. This is my chance to condense them all into something tangible. Something great."
"And how would we ever explain that?" Aodhán hissed. "A mundane awakened suddenly develops power out of this world. Tell me how you will explain it. Two inheritors—and whatever you become—all from one family. Tell me how you'll explain that."
"You can't tell me you're not curious, Aodhán. Think of what will happen if it works. Think of the millions of people you could potentially help. Save."
That warmth pooled within his spirit again, and reality rippled, yet Aodhán didn't notice. He shook his head. "No, I'm not the impulsive boy I was before. I've learned from my mistakes, and I don't intend to repeat them. I'm not doing it."
"You promised me you would try."
"That was before I realized you were crazy, Aldric. This is reckless. What if it doesn't work?"
"What if it does?" Aldric stepped closer, pleading. "I need you to do this for me, Aodhán. Help me."
Aodhán turned away, but his whole body—his very spirit—protested. What if Aldric was right and it worked? What would even happen?
Aodhán knew that it wasn't the rain itself causing the inspirations people gained. It simply facilitated it, sharpening perception, boosting clarity, and speeding the mind and body. Like days of meditation distilled into a single raindrop.
If he poured everything into that drop, could it become years of meditation? Decades?
It didn't matter, though, because he wasn't doing it. He couldn't. There was no way he could hide it if he did—and if it worked, he'd be painting an even bigger target on his back. He had to be logical about this. He had to think like Daruk. He couldn't afford to be impulsive. He couldn't—
"Fuck!" he snapped, the urge to help rising inside him like a river tide. He spun around and glared at Aldric. "Are you messing with my fucking emotions?"
"No," Aldric replied instantly, then gestured to the room. "Your willpower is everywhere. I couldn't touch your emotional pool even if I burned through all of mine."
He was right. Subconsciously, Aodhán had unleashed his willpower to battle the very urge clawing its way up from inside him. It was the Yue situation again, only a hundred times stronger. Willpower billowed from him like a storm, yet the urge remained, rising ever upward.
Not knowing how to handle the situation, Aodhán made the split-second decision to flee. He rushed to the window, vaulted over the edge, and let himself fall—just for a second—before summoning Varéc.
Varéc rushed out of his spirit with a sound like thunder, his tail snapping around Aodhán's waist before he could hit the ground. There was no need for words. Without hesitation, Varéc simply placed him on his back and launched skyward with a deafening roar, cutting through the air at impossible speeds.
They burst through the clouds a moment later, and yet the urge remained.
Scowling, Aodhán gave in. He stopped trying to suppress the feeling and instead turned his attention inward, choosing to confront it. He began digging through his memories, searching for the first time he'd felt this urge to help. The battle against the cultists came to mind first. Then Conquestia—his insistence on helping the soldiers instead of going home. Then Yue. And now, Aldric.
The first three times could have been written off as moments of high emotion—stress, adrenaline, anger—but this one wasn't. This one was different. The urge wasn't fading. Instead, it was growing stronger with each breath he took, escalating as if something was driving it.
Mind racing, Aodhán searched for a common thread between each moment he had ever felt like this. With the cultists, the soldiers, Yue, and now Aldric. There was always something driving the urge.
At first, he'd thought it was external. A design or manipulation of fate. A tweaking of his emotions, but as he searched himself deeply, he realized something that he had failed to see before. The urge was being driven by something within him. Something he had formed without quite realizing it. A single word. Not even quite a phrase.
HELP.
In each instance, this word was always present. Either as a need or a suggestion. Each time, he had felt an overwhelming, inexplicable desire to help. To reach out. To save. To help the soldiers, to help Yue, and now to help Aldric.
It hummed within him like a command—gentle but firm—rising in his mind as fragmented whispers.
The more he focused, the louder it got. Like bubbles rising through water, the whispers surfaced—broken syllables, scattered letters, meaningless on their own.
Frowning, he honed his focus to a needlepoint, trying to grasp something coherent from the chaos. Then the memories came flooding in—his entire life, both on Earth and in ÆFLYM.
Moments when he'd helped. Moments when he hadn't.
They surged through him like waves. Some black-and-white, others vivid and burning with color. Scenes flickered past like a film reel unraveling in fast-forward—until one slammed into him like a blow to the chest.
Time slowed.
The memory crawled forward in excruciating detail. His parents' house. Fire. Screams.
Then the image jumped—he was six years old, running barefoot through the forest, lungs burning, eyes raw from crying. Behind him, his home burned. He didn't look back. He couldn't.
And then it got worse. Thunder cracked. Lightning flashed. Rain poured in sheets.
And through it all, a voice—faint, distant— "Help!"
Just before it was swallowed by the roar of a lightning strike.
This wasn't a memory he recalled clearly, but he knew it was true. He had failed to save his parents that day, and for years after, he had tormented himself over it. Everyone had told him there was nothing he could've done, and eventually, he'd believed it.
He couldn't have saved them then. He couldn't have helped anyone. But now he could. Now he was strong. Powerful. He could help. He wanted to help.
The memory ended the moment that realization struck, and the rising urge faded. A phrase bubbled to the surface of his mind—imperfect and flawed, yet beautiful. It gleamed before him like a beacon.
I advance to help.
Much like Yurin's former icon phrase, it wasn't perfect, and he knew he'd have to refine it before it could manifest an icon, but the mere fact that he'd found an icon phrase filled him with excitement.
Smiling, he opened his eyes and found himself floating on a cloud with Varéc. Varéc growled softly, and Aodhán exhaled. "I'm fine, I just need to sort a few things out."
Varéc growled again, and Aodhán smiled, "You can go now. I can take care of myself."
With one last low growl, Varéc took off for his nightly hunt, his wings smacking Aodhán on the head in reproach. Once Varéc was gone, Aodhán exhaled and lay back down on the cloud, using Storm Manipulation to strengthen the vapor ball beneath him now that the Fury was no longer there to do it.
He lay there for an hour, simply thinking. Now that he understood the source of the urge to help, it was easier to ignore, but his curiosity still gnawed at him. Aldric's suggestion was something he had never considered before, but if he tried it and it worked, what could Aldric gain? Would he gain anything at all?
These thoughts consumed him until the golden clouds of the nexus appeared, brightening the sky even as the sun dipped below the horizon. Sighing, Aodhán decided to seek counsel. Raising his chip to his lips, he texted Geneva once more.
"I need advice."
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