The Academy’s Crude Pink-Haired Martial Artist

Chapter 0



The martial artist is an idiot.

No, that’s not right.

The term “idiot” is for humans, but martial artists can’t even be considered idiots.

Monkeys, apes, chimpanzees.

Unknown beasts that mimic humans.

The difference between such beasts and humans is clear.

One uses tools, while the other cannot.

As time went on, this difference became even clearer.

The swordsman wields a sword.

The guy I know splits the earth and slices the sky with a single blow.

The mage uses magic.

Similarly, the guy I know twists the fabric of the world.

And he also made a hole in my gut. Screw you!

The saint can reattach severed limbs.

She can even save dying people.

The archer shoots dragons with his bow.

So, what about the martial artist?

He uses his fists.

Oh, and kicks too.

Well, according to them, once they reach a certain level, their entire body, including their fists, becomes the ultimate weapon.

But you could just hold a weapon and get stronger more easily, right?

If you say that, the martial artist will argue that they can just break the weapon.

Then I’ll counter again.

Just carry around a lot of weapons, like me.

At that point, the martial artist can’t argue back and just sulks away.

All sulking, whining that they won’t carry any luggage.

Right next to me, the crying chimpanzee is exactly like that.

“Don’t let the snot drip.”

Sniff… What should I do… What should I do? Because of me… Because of me, Ronan… Sniff, sorry… Sorry…”

Ugh…

What crap are you talking about? Why would I die because of you?”

“Because of the magic shot by Kaloso, Ronan… took it for me…”

Right, I took the hit for that chimpanzee.

I tried to block it, but it hit my gut instead. Bam!

I managed to hide it without him noticing, but he caught on. Has traveling with us boosted his intelligence?

Still, I don’t want to agree with the chimpanzee or Arisa.

Because the chimpanzee said it.

“It’s not your fault, so stop whining and wipe your nose. It keeps dripping on your face. Ugh, damn.

“Wh-what should I do? Elixir, the elixir… No, Luna! Luna! Please, please do something! If it’s Luna… If Luna prays…”

“…Okay, okay. For now, I’ll do what I can…”

“Luna, why are you saying that too? Don’t waste Divine Power on someone already dead; save it. And if you’re going to do something, could you at least wipe the snot dripping on my face?”

“…Shut up, Ronan.”

Well, well.

Now that crazy saint has started to cry too.

When all the Holy Kingdom humans were being slaughtered, she didn’t shed a single tear; why is she crying over me dying?

I tried to scold Luna, but blood was spilling back from my throat, so it was hard to even say a word.

Isn’t it expected that blood should pour out if there’s a big hole in my gut?

Why is it coming up my throat and making a fuss?

Fuming with frustration, I grit my teeth and exhaled. Gasp!

With my breath, blood spurted out too.

Seeing that, Arisa burst out crying, and it dripped on my face again.

But now, I don’t even have the strength to get annoyed.

That sticky feeling is fading.

The body sprawled on the floor sinks down.

My eyelids feel heavy, and my chin trembles.

Damn.

I looked at Paulo, who was swaying unsteadily, forcing himself to hold his jaw as it clacked.

The hero.

The first hero chosen by the Holy Relic, Paulo.

“Hey.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? No, fine. If you’re sorry, do me a favor.”

I pushed my heavy chest to take a breath.

“Kill that bastard Kaloso who betrayed us. Tear him apart.”

I’m obviously glaring, but my vision is dimming. My breath is slowing down, and my voice is fading.

“And… kill the Demon King too.”

With each word, it feels like I’m spewing an awl from my throat, but still, I have to say this last sentence.

“Hey, Arisa.”

Gag!

Black blood shot out.

This way, I can’t even say what I want to.

Damn Kaloso.

Forcing my slowly fading organs to wake up, I blurted out the last words I could in the situation.

“Stop whining.”

Seeing her smile, I always teased her about being ugly.

But crying is even uglier.

“Chimpanzees don’t cry.”

With those last words.

I died.

That was how it should be.

*

“I must have misheard, but could you please repeat what your specialty was?”

“Martial arts.”

“Martial… arts, you say?”

“Yes.”

“…Understood. Please wait a moment.”

Click-clack, click-clack, scratch, scratch, boom–!

“Alright. The date for the entrance exam is written in the second item, so please check and participate before it’s too late. Thank you.”

“Yes.”

I accepted the paper handed over by the reception lady, who gave me a regretful look.

A paper with a large print of a girl with pink hair tied in two ponytails.

Application for Karela Academy.

The applicant’s name is Eliaernes Eustetia.

Specialty: Martial arts.

Having died in front of the Demon King.

I was reborn.

As a chimp… no.

As a martial artist.



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