That One Time I Married A Crazy Goddess

Sethrak said, "We're not ready to face our father yet. I don't want us showing him how we really look now. He hasn't earned that honor of seeing us grow."

Zyphira added, "Yeah. But we're so adorable though! Aren't we?"

Yuuna squeezed both of their cheeks, smiling, "AWW!"

Mertha joined in, doing the same, making Sethrak and Zyphira flustered, but Sethrak was trying to smack their hands away.

Draeven tilted his head, "How does it feel?"

Sethrak stepped back, folding his arms, "It feels gross. I feel dirty and snobby as a little child. Hmph."

THUMP!

Xyenn and Yuuna gasped, as Illyana hugged them both at the same time with a smile.

"I'm glad you both made it here in one piece. All of you."

Xyenn closed his eyes slightly, and Yuuna did as well. They could feel Illyana's embrace, her genuine care for them.

Yuuna smiled, "Illyana…you're crushing me. Don't stop."

Xyenn's face was purple, saying, "Draeven…help.."

"O-On the way!" Draeven wanted to help, but Illyana looked at him with a straight face, but Illyana looked at him with a scary but peaceful smile, and Draeven stopped and backed away slowly. "Sorry, Xyenn. Can't really help."

"Y-You traitor!" Xyenn gagged.

Gridd then spoke up, "Ye two out here fightin' and killin' gods, heard the news from the lot. Good work."

Yuuna answered, "We absorbed its power! It was awesome!" She began to spread her arms out, and acted out the battle, twirling around the room. "..And then Xyenn rode on top of me, slashing the scythe all over the place! And then he lost his eye, now he looks super badass!"

Gridd chuckled, "Sounds fun."

He looked at Xyenn, thinking, 'From a young ass brat to a kid who's lost an eye and an arm…and he doesn't look distraught. Maybe he is becoming the man he wants to be.'

Yuuna explained, "I'm surprised you're out here though, you grizzly dwarf. You hate fighting or getting into any danger."

"Eh well, I have to do my part. My own race is in danger, Haldrek is on the loose, and since I was there with yer' cub, I'm a part of it all too now."

Gorran, arms folded, leaning against the wall, added, "The King told us that the old crypt of the Velmires wasn't a physical place. Maybe some sort of pocket dimension or a crypt built off strictly runic magic."

Yuuna whispered to Xyenn, "Do you think it could be connected to the Astral World?"

"Definitely," Xyenn answered, he wasn't sure but anything spiritual could be related to the nature of the Astral World.

Mertha said, "We'll go to the sight of the crypt, and I guess figure out a way to unlock something. Mannnn it's super difficult that we don't have any directions. Alaric could've given us some."

Sethrak scoffed, "Hmph. That old fool wouldn't help a squirrel. That's the type of man he is. Either that, or he's hiding something."

Zyphira agreed, "My brother is right. Don't let him fool you even if he cries and stuff!"

Xyenn thought, 'I mean…that look he gave me after we left, it was odd. Somewhat suspicious even.'

Sethrak continued, "Whatever you all do, do not trust that man or whatever he says. What else did he want with you?"

Xyenn explained, "He wanted us to help him on the cursed region expedition that's in a few days. Abominations of war are coming here and cursing an entire region."

Zyphira thought, 'We heard about that from that Crimson Claw guild as soon as we got here.'

Xyenn explained more, "He then said Kassius Velmire was there. He was using him as a trump card to fight against Ezrael. And we need Kassius to help us kill Haldrek."

Illyana said, "The cursed region is that powerful to even conceal the presence of someone who has been blessed with the Light Born's power of Radiance?"

Quinara raised a finger, "Crazy, isn't it?"

Everyone paused, and slowly looked at her.

Sethrak and Zyphira asked at the same time, "Who is that?"

Quinara chuckled, "Quinara, of Quen race. Gorran's future wife."

Sethrak laughed, "Ha! Gorran? Having a wife?"

Gorran was looking away flustered, "S-She's insane."

Yuuna patted Quinara on the head, grinning, "Don't get mad at me, but she's a Tyrant now!"

Illyana gave a peaceful smile, "Why would we be mad? We all have a reason to be here, don't we? No one among us can be judged."

Quinara whispered to Xyenn, "See? That's how you talk to a lady, you should take notes instead of pinning pregnant women to walls and shit."

Xyenn loudly whispered back, "Shut up! You attacked me first!"

"So?!"

Gridd said, "No matter. She's like all of ya'. She has a reason for bein' here, right?"

Quinara explained, "Feel abandoned from my own race of Quen. When we're all about loyalty, which is what the priests and worshippers of the dragon goddess of the moon preaches all the damn time, it's annoying. I didn't ask to have a cursed womb for the dragon god of the sun, those damn demons…being with you guys can help me take out my revenge. And I like kicking ass, so I need to let out some steam. I see how you all act around each other, you all have great bonds, seem loyal to each other. I see how far you're all are willing to go to take what's yours. I'm the same way. I really want to trust again, I'm gonna be working towards that. Therefore apologies if I'm really anxious around you all despite me being a little ODD. Also, you have one kid who likes to hurt pregnant women." Quinara side-eyed Xyenn with a smirk and pointed at him.

Xyenn scoffed again, "Damn you!"

Quinara continued, "I don't care about the dangers that lie ahead of us, I'm pretty strong. Strong enough to keep up with you guys…I hope."

Mertha grinned, crunching her knuckles, "A new student approaches."

Gorran shook his head, "She's gonna die."

Quinara looked confused, "Huh? What happened? Who's gonna die?"

Kivorn said to her, "Mertha..is gonna train you to death..since you said you can keep up.."

"Oh yeah? I definitely can. Bring it on, muscular woman."

Gorran, Yuuna, and Mertha hovered above her: Gorran keeping a straight face, and Yuuna and Mertha giving the same manic smile.

Gorran held his Xenith Blade, "I wanna see your skills against mine."

Mertha added, "I wanna see you if you can take a full blown punch from my gauntlets."

And Yuuna pointed her sharp fingers at Quinara's neck, saying, "Hehe..and I wanna see if I can easily lop your head off in—."

Draeven stepped in between them, saying, "W-Wait, let's not get carried away guys.."

Quinara said, "Awwww. Seems like you have competition, Gorran and Xyenn."

Xyenn said, "Gross I don't want you."

Gorran added, "Hmph. Me either."

Xyenn said to Gorran, "Stop lying to yourself. You blushed at her."

"Say that again and I'll kill you, brat."

After Quinara introduced herself and everyone else did as well, Yuuna stood on top of a table, her hands on her hips and with a straight mocking soldier face, and said, "Now then! Getting through introductions and new out recruit out of the way! Let's get down to the matter at hand! We still need to kill Haldrek! In this corrupt noble city, I bet we can still prepare for contact with him! Or even Ezrael! So. Once again, being in a big group doesn't get a lot of things done, so we'll be splitting up and performing tasks throughout the city. AFTER we rest. Remember the Lysfødt are on our tail as well, and the Prophets are stalking us."

Sethrak nodded, "Good. We need a good rest."

Zyphira sighed, "I am sleepy. And I want a drink."

"Thought you were over that?"

"I miss the taste!"

"No. I'm not letting you drink."

"Tch. Lame."

Xyenn asked, "Is there any good inns around here?"

Zyphira answered, "Good inn's as in…?"

"Anywhere that can hold all of us, and it's the fanciest one." Xyenn grinned.

'I always wanted to live in luxury. Wanted to be in the big leagues. Like every child dreams of. I'm still that child. I Want to be in a nice inn, a fancy one, and act like I'm at least rich for one second. That'll be so cool..' He thought.

Sethrak answered Xyenn, "I can show you all the way to one. But commoners like you all will have to prove your worth to even use it."

"Prove our worth?" Xyenn tilted his head. "Why?"

"The continent of Jörvaldr is based upon wealth and the worth of nobility and gold, including riches. Those who aren't associated with any of those things, have to be able to prove themselves as if weighing their own sack of coins. That's why they call this the city of dreams and nightmares. If you aren't worth anything, you'll be living a nightmare here."

Yuuna laughed, and celebrated, "Hell yeah! Count me in!"

Zyphira asked Yuuna, "Are you not gonna cover your halo? If a vessel of a dragonic deity notices you.."

"Then they'll die. But some of them aren't as stupid ti just attack on sight without a plan. I'm pretty sure the elder dragon gods know of how me and Xyenn kill the dragon god of the sun. We're insanely badass and strong now, so they won't approach us half ass, or any other draconic deity for that matter. We're gonna come for them!" Yuuna smiled.

Xyenn looked down, remembering how the Lysfødt told him:

"The more dragon gods you kill, the more the world of Kyrrin falls apart…everyone will die. Everyone's blood will be on your hands! You'll be a monster, the very thing you're avoiding.'

Xyenn crunched his fists, whispering to himself, "There's always another way…"

'I'm not a monster..'

Yuuna pumped her fists up, saying, "Well let's go prove ourselves at this Inn! Lead the way!"

Gorran snapped, "Tch. We don't have to prove ourselves to anyone, dammit."

"Aw come in, it'll be fun!"

Kivorn said, "…Fun?"

'Something else fun to do. Keep doing fun things, maybe my joy will come back. I'm 100% with this plan.'

Suddenly, Kivorn himself only heard whispers driving into his head softly. The whispers came rapidly, and Kivorn stood there, and the whispers said:

"Joy…?"

"You want joy…?"

"You were cursed.."

"Cursed..?"

"Cursed..cursed joy."

"Nightmares…"

"I can fix it."

Kivorn snapped his head forward, gasping, saying, "The hell..was that?"

Mertha approached Kivorn, putting her hand on his shoulder, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine..I think."

"Let me know if you want me to punch you in the face."

"Yep, totally. Thanks."

"Anytime."

Yuuna jumped on Xyenn's back, wrapping her legs around him, and pointed forward, "Onward! I bet it can't be that bad! What's the worst that could happen?!"

Everyone in the room exclaimed, "NO, DON'T SAY THAT!"

The Royal Gilded Inn was a towering marvel of opulence, standing like a gilded palace in the heart of Jörvaldr's wealthiest district. Its exterior shimmered with polished brass and gold filigree, and the windows glowed warmly with the light of crystal chandeliers. Inside, the inn's grandeur was even more overwhelming: marble floors, towering columns carved with intricate depictions of mythical beasts, and walls draped in silken tapestries depicting the city's legendary history. The scent of roasted meats, honeyed wine, and exotic spices filled the air, mingling with the sound of soft harp music that seemed to float magically from the walls themselves. 

Downstairs, however, hidden from the view of the refined nobles dining in the banquet hall above, Xyenn and the rest of the group stood in a line, their expressions ranging from annoyed to outright murderous. 

'Shit! This is like that one time when I first wore armor that Mertha gave me! I got laughed at by everyone!'

"Why do I have to wear the maid outfit?" Xyenn growled, his voice low and dangerous as he tugged at the frilly black and white dress that was clearly too small for his frame. The hem barely reached his knees, and the tight corset made him look like he'd been stuffed into a decorative sack of flour. His face was bright red, his usual confidence utterly shattered. 

Yuuna, wearing her own maid outfit but clearly enjoying it, leaned over and poked at the frilly lace cuffs on Xyenn's sleeves. "Because you look adorable in it!" she teased, grinning like a devil. "Look at you! All dolled up. You're like a big, angry doll I want to throw at someone!" 

"S-Shut it!" Xyenn hissed, swatting her hand away, his face reddening even further. He tried to adjust the tight neckline of the dress but only succeeded in making it worse. "Can't believe they actually ran out of suits."

Quinara, wearing a sleek black suit with a bowtie that she'd purposefully left crooked, smirked as she leaned against the wall. "This is the best thing I've ever seen. I'm framing this in my mind forever." 

Gorran, also in a suit but clearly miserable, crossed his arms and glared at Quinara. "Why aren't you making fun of me? I look fucking ridiculous. I wanna slaughter something."

"You're already miserable, Gorran," Quinara replied with a mockingly sweet tone. "It's no fun if you already hate everything! Xyenn, though? This is a rare, precious treasure." 

Xyenn looked away, "Buzz off."

Yuuna laughed at the both of them, saying, "Xyenn looks great!"

Mertha, in her maid outfit, stood stoically at the far end of the line, her arms crossed. She somehow managed to make the frilly uniform look intimidating, her sharp eyes scanning the line like she was preparing for battle. "This is a usual day for me. I'm used to this! Let's get down to serving shall we?"

Dreaven said, "…Haha, this should be a piece of cake for you then?"

"Damn right it will be!" Mertha put Draeven in a headlock. "Just another day at work. Don't forget I own a pub myself!"

"Y-You're choking me.."

Kivorn, wearing an ill-fitting suit that made him look like a child dressed for their first formal event, yawned loudly and leaned against a column, his voice monotonous, "First time…I dressed formal."

Draeven, his suit slightly wrinkled and his hands fidgeting nervously with his tie, glanced around the room. "Ooooh..I don't even like fancy places with so many rich nobles.." His smoke curled around him, almost protectively. 

Before anyone could respond, Acelle, the inn's proprietor, stepped in front of them, his polished black shoes clicking sharply against the marble floor. He was an odd man—tall and wiry, with a head of slicked-back silver hair that seemed to shimmer unnaturally in the light. His face was frozen in a wide, unsettling smile, and his piercing blue eyes gleamed with an intensity that bordered on manic. His suit was immaculate, deep navy with gold trim, and his black gloves gleamed as though freshly polished. 

"ALRIGHT, YOU RAGGED LOT!" Acelle barked, his voice sharp and theatrical as he paced back and forth in front of them like a general preparing his troops for war. "YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALTZ INTO MY INN, LOOKING LIKE A BUNCH OF UNPOLISHED ROCKS, AND ASK FOR THE TOP FLOOR? *HA!* YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOUR WORTH!" 

"We really don't care about proving—" Kivorn started, but Acelle snapped his fingers dramatically, cutting him off. 

"DO NOT INTERRUPT ME, YOU SLOTHFUL MONUMENT TO LAZINESS!" Acelle shouted, pointing a gloved finger directly at Kivorn. "I AM A MAN OF STANDARDS, AND YOU WILL MEET THOSE STANDARDS, OR YOU WILL BE BURIED BENEATH THEM!" 

Kivorn blinked slowly, unfazed. "Okay." 

Acelle turned his attention to the group as a whole, his smile somehow widening. "You will serve my guests, the most distinguished nobles of Jörvaldr. You will serve them food. You will serve them drink. You will serve them perfection. If you succeed, you may rent the top floor of my inn. If you fail…" He paused, his blue eyes glinting ominously. "…you will never see the inside of this establishment again." 

Yuuna raised her hand like a student in class. "What happens if I punch one of them? Just asking for a friend." 

Xyenn smirked at what Yuuna said, and so did everyone else, besides Kivorn.

Acelle's smile didn't falter, but his eyes narrowed slightly. "If you punch a guest, I will personally see to it that you are thrown into the canal behind the inn and left to the mercy of the sewer monsters." 

"Noted," Yuuna said, lowering her hand. 

'Not like he could anyway.'

Acelle clapped his hands together, the sound echoing through the room. "NOW! Go out there and make me proud—or at least less disappointed than I already am!" 

With a flourish, he spun on his heel and gestured toward the grand dining hall. The group reluctantly shuffled forward, Xyenn grumbling under his breath as he tugged at his maid outfit, and Acelle followed behind them, twirling a golden wand in his hand. 

'In a maids outfit, embarrassing! Let's do this fast, and go to the top floor! Don't linger, that'll give people time to look at me. Be nice! Serve these rich assholes and get on with it! You got this, Xyenn!'

The dining hall was a glittering spectacle of wealth and refinement. Nobles sat at tables carved from dark mahogany, their surfaces polished to a mirror sheen. Plates of exquisite food—roast quail stuffed with herbs, golden pastries filled with spiced fruits, and crystal glasses of sparkling wine—were arranged with precision. Overhead, golden instruments floated against the walls, playing soft, elegant melodies as though guided by invisible hands. 

The group fanned out awkwardly, each of them assigned to serve a section of the hall. 

Xyenn hesitated near a table of nobles, his face bright red as he tried to balance a tray of wine glasses. One of the glasses wobbled dangerously, and he froze, his jaw clenched. 

"Looking good, Xyenn," Quinara said as she passed by, smirking. "Definitely payback."

"Shut up," Xyenn hissed, his voice low. 

Yuuna, meanwhile, was already causing chaos. She stomped up to a table and dropped a plate of food in front of a nobleman with a loud clatter. "Here ya go! Enjoy or whatever!" 

The nobleman recoiled, his monocle nearly falling from his face. "Young… woman! This is—this is highly unorthodox!" 

Yuuna grinned, leaning in close. "Unorthodox is my specialty." 

The man sputtered, and Draeven rushed over, his smoke curling around him nervously. "I'm so sorry! She doesn't know what she's doing!" he said, bowing repeatedly. 

"Speak for yourself!" Yuuna said, crossing her arms. 

Mertha, on the other hand, was flawlessly efficient. She moved through her section with military precision, placing plates and pouring wine with the calm focus of a soldier preparing for battle. 

Quinara, however, decided to amuse herself by messing with Gorran. As he tried to serve a table, she leaned over his shoulder and whispered, "Careful, Gorran. Don't drop it." 

"I'm not going to drop it," he grumbled. 

"Are you sure? Your hands look shaky." 

"Pfft. I look horrible."

"You always look good."

Gorran blushed, and Quinara pointed and laughed at him.

As the night went on, the group slowly found their rhythm. Despite the chaos of their initial attempts, they began working together, their banter turning into teamwork. 

Kivorn, despite his laziness, proved to be an excellent wine-pourer, his slow, deliberate movements ensuring not a drop was spilled. 

Yuuna, after being scolded by Mertha, pouted and managed to tone down her chaos just enough to not scare every noble she served. 

Even Xyenn, still flustered in his maid outfit, managed to balance his trays without incident. 

"Dance for us."

"Yeah, dance for us."

Xyenn heard the requests of the nobles, and staggered back, "Fuck that, weirdos."

At that moment, Sethrak and Zyphira from a distance said:

"Dance for them!" Zyphira smiled.

"Dance. Earn your keep, brat." Sethrak nodded.

Xyenn rolled his eyes, "Gross! I'm not dancing for a bunch of men! Perverts!"

Sethrak and Zyphira laughed at him.

Gridd, beside Sethrak and Zyphira, said, "Look at em'. Great team buildin' this is."

Throughout it all, Acelle danced around the hall, waving his golden wand in the air. The floating instruments responded to his movements, their melodies growing more lively and intricate as he twirled and spun. His movements were graceful, almost otherworldly, his smile never faltering. 

"What a wonderful night this is becoming! Keep it going!"

By the end of the night, the nobles were clapping politely, their faces glowing with satisfaction. The group stood at the edge of the hall, watching as Acelle performed a final flourish. With a dramatic spin, he unleashed a burst of golden magic, filling the room with shimmering light. He dropped to his knees, his hands clasped in prayer as golden tears streamed down his face. 

"Thank you," he whispered, looking toward the sky. 

The group stared in silence, awestruck. 

Finally, Yuuna broke the silence. "Okay, that was… kind of amazing." 

"Kind of?" Quinara said, smirking. "That was definitely amazing." 

Xyenn crossed his arms, still fuming. "I'm not saying anything until I'm out of this stupid dress." 

Yuuna kissed Xyenn on the cheek, saying, "You did great, darling."

The group laughed, the tension of the night finally giving way to a strange sense of camaraderie.