That One Time I Married A Crazy Goddess

"Oh? That halo above your tranquil head…you're the goddess of darkness. Yuuna. Right? Yeah you're definitely not her. There's no way the famous villain Yuuna would be here. Not in Soulcaris. Randomly in MY town. She's too infamous to be in public so easily. Nice outfit though." Damsel mocked. "But How gracious of you all to join my town of music and happiness!"

Yuuna nodded fast, "Damn right I am and this is my darling vessel!" She hugged Xyenn, their faces mushing together.

Damsel continued, "Are you all part of those cultists?! We figured someone would come looking for the pregnant woman. Thus, you wouldn't fall for the trance like the other poor souls here. There's  been a rumor through Soulcaris. A famous rumor. Those damned cultists looking for a pregnant woman. Making themselves known throughout, burning people alive for the sake of trying to find favor within the Sun-Drake's vision. They're scared of course, but why can't they just alllll come here and live in happiness?"

Mertha scoffed, "So you put everyone who comes through here in a trance? And those who broke out of the trance.."

"Become a powerful instrument for all the ones who just let go and be happy! I'm a hero for dragons sake. Saving them in death and life. Either way they don't have to suffer. And with that pregnant woman supplying us with protection with whatever blessing she has upon her, then—."

Xyenn, looking down at the ground, saying, "You're a monster. Nothing more. You don't deserve to live."

Mertha whispered to Xyenn, "Psst. Look at their eyes."

Xyenn looked around fast, seeing everyone's eyes were dull. No pupils, nothing. Just smiles and happiness holding their magical instruments.

'The ones with the dull eyes they're under the trance. And we broke it, unlike them.'

Yuuna pointed at Damsel, "You're stealing people's freedom to live, dummy. And killing when they resist. Using your dumb jolly magic on them."

"Am I?! Some of them even came to me and asked for this! How dare you try and break it!"

Gorran added, "First, we didn't come here to save anyone of these people, we don't even know them or anything about this place."

Damsel grinned, holding his chest, "Oh? Haha, you aren't here to destroy my dream of creating a paradise for the greater good? Phew, that's a relief honestly—."

Mertha snarled, "But you've taken lives to create this. You handed people instruments created from the body of dead people. People that resisted. That's not how a leader makes himself useful."

"Yes they do, muscular woman. But the true question is, are you all going stop me—."

Xyenn, Mertha, Gorran, and Yuuna stated at the same time, "—Yes."

Damsel, staggering back dramatically, said with an overreaction dramatic flare, holding his face, "Oh, no! Someone! Help! They're trying to steal our joy from us! They want us to turn into those wild sun head people! We're safe and sound on solid ground! I'm a hero, and th-they're trying to defeat the hero! St-stop them! Turn them into harps!" Damsel grinned mischievously right after.

Mertha exclaimed, "These people are under a trance! Knock them out. Don't kill!"

'I'm giving orders like I'm the leader again—!'

Yuuna turned around and put a thumbs up to her, "Okay! Good call! But I'm just gonna sit back and watch because I suck at trying to knock someone out because I'm too strong soooo, good luck!"

Mertha grinned, saying, "Leave it to us!"

Yuuna raised her hand high, her dark pink eyes glowing with delight as she smirked and yelled above the rising tension, "Brutally slaughter the leader! Knock everyone else out!"  

Her voice rang out across the Bard's Grove like a battle cry, catching the attention of every Bard in earshot.  

Gorran, wasting no time, fully unsheathed Xenith, the massive, jagged blade glinting ominously under the faint light of the shaded dome. The Bards began to react, their singing voices rising in a harmonic cacophony as they attempted to unleash their bardic magic. But Gorran, stone-faced and resolute, stabbed Xenith into the ground with enough force to shatter the cobblestones.  

A violent, warping spiral of energy erupted from the blade, tearing through the streets and sending debris flying. Smoke billowed into the air, obscuring visibility as the ground beneath them shook violently.  

Through the dust and chaos, Gorran's voice cut through like the edge of a blade. "They can't use their bard magic on you if they can't see you. As an assassin of the Xenith clan, I've had too many run-ins with these kinds of people. This isn't new to me."

'But it was strong enough to subdue me for a second, even with Yuuna's draconic blessing…'

The Bards, now blind in the swirling haze of destruction, stumbled and coughed in confusion. But Gorran was already gone, vanishing into the smoke like a predator stalking prey.  

Mertha cracked her neck, her stoic expression hardening into grim determination. She slammed her fists together, and with a resonating hum, two glowing gauntlets of black and pink energy materialized on her hands. The aura around them shimmered with raw, destructive power.  

"Move fast," Mertha growled, her voice calm but commanding. "Hit them before they can react. Knock them out. If they're still standing, they'll just keep singing."  

Without another word, she surged forward into the smoke, her movements swift and precise, leaving behind faint streaks of black and pink light as her gauntlets cut through the air.  

Xyenn turned to Yuuna, his golden eyes narrowing. "I'm going to find Quinara," he said firmly, his voice steady but grim. "She's here somewhere. I need to find her."

Yuuna, still grinning despite the madness around them, grabbed his arm and leaned in close. "I'll come with you," she offered eagerly. "We'll find her together!"  

But Xyenn shook his head. "I got this, don't worry. I'm badass now."

Yuuna blinked, her grin faltering for just a moment. She studied his face, saw the determination in his eyes, and sighed. "Alright. I'll trust you. But..." She raised a finger theatrically, her tone suddenly playful, "If you need me, give me a signal!"  

Xyenn tilted his head, eyebrows raised. "What kind of signal?"  

Yuuna smirked, mockingly cupped her hands around her mouth, and let out an exaggerated scream, pretending to flail. "Like that! Just scream like you're dying, and I'll come save you!"  

Xyenn groaned, rolling his eyes. "IT'LL PROBABLY BE TOO LATE BY THEN!"  

Yuuna chuckled, her laughter cutting through the chaos like a light in the dark. She suddenly stomped the ground with enough force to crack the earth beneath her boots. A jagged hole opened up, revealing a hidden staircase spiraling downward into the shadows.  

She gave him a thumbs-up, her pink eyes glowing with confidence. "Remember, dull eyes mean they're in on this crazy music shit. Knock them out if you can, but if they're with the crazy man, end them. Don't hesitate. Good luck, darling! You can do it! Don't be reckless either!"

Xyenn smirked faintly, nodding. "It won't take long." Without another word, he leaped into the hole, vanishing into the crypt below.  

The crypt-like space was damp and cold, lit only by flickering candles that lined the stone walls. The faint, haunting echoes of music drifted through the air, eerie and dissonant. Xyenn darted down the stairs, his boots barely making a sound as he moved with purpose.  

He muttered to himself, his voice low but tinged with nervousness. "Alright, Xyenn. You talked big. No backing out now. You're technically a god. You've got this. No problem. Just... find the pregnant lady, bash enemy skulls, and get out."

'They're villains. Definitely villains. They killed people and turned them into instruments. Taking them down means i'm avenging those people. Yeah, that's it. I'm still trying to contemplate in my mind if I'm doing the right thing? I have to stop. No way I'm showing even the slightest bit of sympathy for an enemy.'

As he reached the bottom of the staircase, he entered a large, open chamber. The walls were covered in faded murals depicting strange, musical rituals. At the center of the room stood a figure—a tall, slender jester dressed in an elegant but unsettling outfit.  

The jester's outfit was a patchwork of deep reds, purples, and blacks, with intricate gold embroidery that shimmered faintly in the candlelight. His face was painted white, with a permanent, eerie grin drawn across his lips. His eyes, dull and lifeless, were framed by dark, shadowy makeup, giving him a ghostly appearance. In his hands, he held a strange, stringed instrument that looked like a fusion of a harp and a guillotine, its strings glowing faintly.  

The jester tilted his head, his grin widening unnaturally as he raised the instrument. His fingers plucked the strings, and a haunting, dissonant melody filled the air. The music pulsed with magic, aiming to ensnare Xyenn's mind.  

"Come on! Dance and sing with me! No fighting—!"

But Xyenn was quicker. He noticed the dullness in the jester's eyes and realized instantly that he was under the same trance as the others. Without hesitation, Xyenn darted forward, twisting through the air with inhuman agility.  

"Not today, clown," Xyenn growled.  

He palmed the jester's face mid-air, slamming him through the stone wall with enough force to knock him out cold. The jester crumpled to the ground, unconscious, his eerie instrument clattering beside him.  

Xyenn stepped through the hole he had created, finding himself in another chamber. This one was dimly lit, the air thick with the scent of old stone and burning wax. At the far end of the room stood a grotesquely large Bard, his body draped in layers of colorful, gaudy fabric that barely concealed his immense frame. His face was round and sweaty, his double chin jiggling as he sneered. His hair was a greasy mix of blonde and pink, tied back in a chaotic mess of braids.  

In his massive hands, he held a strange, one-handed instrument—a drum-like object that shimmered with faint, arcane light. The Bard's other hand gripped a large birdcage, and inside it sat a pregnant woman.  

Quinara's appearance was striking, even in her weakened state. Her skin was a deep, rich red, glowing faintly in the candlelight. Her golden eyes, though weary, burned with defiance. Her long hair, made of black, leaf-like strands, hung limply around her shoulders. She clutched her swollen belly protectively, her breaths shallow and labored.  

The fat Bard chuckled darkly, his voice a deep, mocking rumble. "Take another step, and she dies," he said, raising the cage slightly. "She'll dance and sing in a pool of fire! Haha!"

Quinara turned her weak gaze toward Xyenn, her voice barely above a whisper. "Huh…?"

Xyenn's jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing.

### The Final Confrontation: Xyenn Versus the Fat Bard  

The crypt was silent except for the faint crackle of candlelight and the heavy breathing of the grotesque Bard. The fat man's face glistened with sweat as Xyenn slowly stepped forward, his expression utterly calm, as if the Bard's threats meant nothing.  

"Stop there!" the Bard bellowed, his deep voice shaking slightly as he raised the cage higher, making the bars rattle. Inside, Quinara grimaced, her weak arms bracing against the cage's sides. "One more step, and the woman with child dies! Like the other who dared to defy our joyous symphony! Their blood spilled because they refused to sing!"  

The Bard's voice turned into a panicked, sing-song rhyme as his eyes darted to Xyenn's face.  

"Move no closer, boy, or you'll regret!  

I've killed before, don't make me fret!  

She'll bleed like the rest, her joy all gone!  

One word from me, and her life is done!"  

Xyenn didn't flinch. He didn't stop. He kept walking toward the Bard, his boots clicking softly against the stone floor. His golden eyes never left his target, unblinking and cold.  

Quinara's voice trembled as she screamed, her hands gripping the bars of the cage. "No! Stop! Run, boy! You don't understand—he'll kill me! Just go!"  

Xyenn ignored her protests, his pace steady, his body relaxed. The Bard's face twisted in frustration, his fingers tightening on his enchanted drum-like instrument. The glowing runes on it flared, magic brewing as he prepared to unleash a deadly tune.  

"I said STOP!" the Bard roared, his desperation evident. He raised the instrument, ready to strike its surface, but before he could play a single note—  

—Xyenn's body flickered.  

At lightning speed, Xyenn dashed to the left, then to the right, then across the room in rapid, unpredictable bursts. His movements were so fast they seemed to distort the air around him. The Bard's eyes widened in panic, shifting wildly as he tried to keep track of Xyenn, knowing that his bard magic required a clear line of sight to work.  

"WHERE ARE YOU?!" the Bard bellowed, spinning in place, his hands trembling as he clutched his drum.  

Quinara, still trapped in the cage, stared in shock and awe. Her golden eyes followed Xyenn's blinding movements, disbelief etched onto her face. "What... what is he?" she whispered to herself.  

With a burst of speed, Xyenn shot forward like a bullet, his body a blur of motion. He plowed straight through the Bard, his hand piercing the man's chest like a blade. Blood sprayed violently, splattering across the stone floor and walls as Xyenn's arm tore through flesh and bone.  

The Bard let out a guttural scream, his eyes bulging in shock as his body convulsed. Xyenn ripped his arm free, dragging the Bard's entrails with it. The fat man collapsed to his knees, blood pouring from the massive hole in his torso. His drum-like instrument clattered to the floor, its runes flickering before dimming entirely.  

The cage slipped from the Bard's grip, but before it hit the ground, Xyenn caught it effortlessly. He set the cage down carefully, blood still dripping from his hands.  

The Bard gasped weakly, his voice a pitiful whimper as he stared at Xyenn with fading eyes. "You... you monster..."  

Xyenn, standing still for a brief moment as he looked down at his hands. His fingers trembled slightly as he realized what he'd just done. "I'm not a monster. I'm not. You're a bad guy, so this is on you. This is for them."

Xyenn didn't respond. He reached into the Bard's pocket, pulling out a small, rusted key. Without a word, he unlocked the cage, the door swinging open with a creak.  

Quinara fell forward, too weak to stand, but Xyenn caught her before she hit the floor. Her body was light in his arms, her red skin glistening with sweat. Her black-leaf hair clung to her face, and her golden eyes looked up at him with a mix of exhaustion and disbelief.  

"Are you okay?" Xyenn asked, his voice surprisingly soft.  

Quinara nodded weakly, leaning against him for support. "They... they used me," she rasped, her voice barely above a whisper.  

Xyenn furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"  

Quinara closed her eyes, struggling to catch her breath. "My body... it's imbued with the blessing of the Draconic Moon Goddess. She gave me her moonlight, her energy, to protect me from the Flame. The sun... it turns people into Berserkers, consumed by rage and fire. But with my blessing, they used me... to create the dome. My energy is what keeps this town in shadow."  

Xyenn's eyes widened. "The Moon Goddess?"

Quinara opened her eyes, her gaze distant as she spoke. "The Moon Goddess… she is a deity of balance. Where the sun burned with rage, she cooled with serenity. Her principles were harmony, protection, and resistance against the sun itself. The Moon and the Sun, they are polar opposites. Where the sun can't reach past the blessing of the moon, in the content where the moon goddess is, the sun could prevail. That's how it's designed. Like war and peace: places where there is war, peace can bleed through the aftermath. In places where there is war, peace can drift in over those who are meeting their end if they are comforted. My skin... my blood... it carries her blessing from my worship to her, you know how it goes. It's why they needed me to sustain the barrier. Without me, this town would fall to the Flame easily like the others. The dragon goddess of the Moon and the dragon of the Sun, the Sun-Drake, are mortal enemies."

Xyenn clenched his jaw, anger stirring within him. "And the Oracle? Where is she?"  

Quinara's expression darkened. "Dead. That witch's disciple came out of nowhere. She killed the Oracle in cold blood. She tried to take me, too, but the Oracle sacrificed herself to let me escape."  

A single name flashed through Xyenn's mind: 'Parcy? If the Oracle was supposed to lead us to the Blood Maidens, and now she's dead, how are we supposed to get there now?!'

Before he could respond, Quinara's expression shifted. Her golden eyes sharpened, a glint of bloodlust flashing within them. With surprising speed, she raised her hand and struck at Xyenn's head in a chopping motion, her hand sharpening. 

Xyenn's draconic instincts kicked in immediately. He caught her wrist mid-swing, his grip firm but controlled. He pinned her against the wall, careful not to apply too much pressure.  

Quinara glared at him, her voice trembling with rage. "You... you're one of them, aren't you? From that cult! No one fights like you unless they've been trained by them! Tell me the truth!"  

Xyenn sighed, exasperated. "I'm not with any cult, and I don't have time to explain! Calm down! We're here to help you!"

'She talked my ear off to throw me off guard?!'

She struggled against his grip, her strength wavering. Her eyes burned with suspicion and fury, but before she could say another word, Xyenn struck the back of her neck with a precise tap. Her body went limp, and she collapsed into his arms, unconscious.  

Xyenn let out a sigh of relief. "Dammit."  

As Xyenn turned around, he froze. Yuuna stood in the doorway, her arms folded, her pink eyes glowing faintly as she tapped her foot. A smirk played on her lips, though there was a sharp edge to it.  

"Oh, such a hero, aren't you?" she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Giving you a hug and everything..."  

Xyenn chuckled nervously, holding Quinara in his arms. "It's not what it looks like! I had to knock her out—she tried to kill me!"  

Yuuna raised an eyebrow, her smirk softening into a teasing grin. "Hmph. Okay. I forgive you... this time. Good job, Xyenn. You did do what you said you would, you found her."

"Haha! Yes! Acknowledge me!"

"Never mind. You ruined it."

"Aww•

On the surface, the battle had ended. The smoke was clearing, revealing dozens of unconscious Bards scattered across the ground. Gorran sat nearby, Xenith sheathed on his back, his expression as brooding as ever.  

Mertha stood over Damsel, who was kneeling on the ground, his face pale with fear. Despite his theatrical pleas, there was a seriousness in his voice as he begged for his life.  

"Please... you don't understand!" Damsel cried. "I didn't have a choice! The music—it consumes us! I had to keep them safe!"  

Mertha's face hardened, her glowing gauntlets sparking faintly. "Safe? The blood of those innocent people is on your hands."  

"Damn you! I'm a hero! People can't leave because of the Berserkers of the Flame! And Gabriel's Ladder is impossible to find! And if I offer them death, I'm saving them as well even if they scream and cry and beg and—."

Mertha punched him square in the face, her fist connecting with a sickening KATHOOM. Blood sprayed into the air and a splattered as a huge pool on the ground as Damsel's body flew hundreds of feet far in the air.

Gorran raised an eyebrow. "Subtle."  

Mertha shrugged. "He deserved it. Now then, him being disposed of should break everyone from their trance."

Suddenly, a faint whistle cut through the air. Both Mertha and Gorran turned, their eyes narrowing as they saw a massive crow—Salazar—descending from the sky. The crow landed near the edge of the town, lowering its head as a figure climbed onto its back.  

The figure was cloaked in black, with wisps of shadowy energy flickering off their robes like fire. Their hands were wrapped in white bandages, runes etched into the fabric glowing faintly red and black. A hood obscured their face, but a detailed, runic mask covered their features completely, its crimson markings glowing like embers in the fading light.  

Mertha's eyes widened. "Someone's stealing our ride!"  

As Salazar took off, Yuuna appeared behind them, holding a single black feather. "Relax," she said, grinning. "This feather's made of darkness—created by Haelga herself. I can track it. Haelga created the crow with it. Smart right? I'm a genius, I know."

Xyenn stepped forward, cradling Quinara carefully. "That might be the one Haelga was talking about. That Parcy witch. Quinara mentioned her as well, not by name but 

Yuuna's grin widened. "Then let's follow them!"  

At that moment as they proceeded, Mertha looked at Xyenn, and said, "Good work, runt."

Xyenn replied, "Went from brat to runt? For you, I'm gonna go from oaf to a musclebound golem."

"Okay that was kinda harsh. I won't train you anymore."

"Fine!"

"Really?"

"…No please I'm sorry."

"Nope. Nope. Nope. Find another golem to train you."

"You called me a runt! That's worse."

Gorran, listening to their comedic banter, looked away, saying to himself, "..Mm."