Ten Shadows in the Heian Era

It was to the scene of me catching my breath in the branches of the shinboku, unable to tear my eyes away from the monster pacing in front of me, that Kinoshita made his appearance.

I only noted his arrival by the distinctive click-clack of his geta sandals, but I couldn't bring myself to turn to greet him. I just couldn't take my eyes off of the monster in front of me.

It is an ugly thing. Grotesque flesh stretched and torn in shapes only vaguely resembling a deer with a face that tries to be human and make some instinctual part of my brain want nothing more than to flee.

It's beautiful.

Like nothing I have ever seen before. Nothing even compares to it. But I have a feeling that it's not even special. That if I were to explore the outside world, sights like this thing would become commonplace.

I want that so badly it hurts.

I want to see new things. Things I had never even considered before. Whether they're beautiful or ugly like this thing, I don't care. So long as it's new. Unique. 

"Narauko," the old man's voice snaps me out of my thoughts as he calls my name and, reluctantly, I tear my gaze away to face him. I'm not sure exactly what expression I'm making except that my cheeks are starting to hurt, but when we lock eyes, he sighs, a small, sardonic twitch of his lip being the extend of his displayed emotion.

Kinoshita is not a particularly stand out man. I don't know how old he is, but I'd guess somewhere around his late sixties. He is a thin man of average height with short grey hair and sharp, but worn features. Naturally, he is dressed in his pure white jōe, the ceremonial robes of a kamunushi, as usual, his tate-eboshi, a tall cap, sits primly on his head.

"What is the commotion?" He asks, and so much joy fills me that I almost fail to answer entirely.

For a moment, all I'm able to do is gesture wildly in the direction of the monster before I can find my voice, and even then, all I can say is, "Monster! Monster's are real!" As if that's a proper explanation.

I don't know if he understood or not. I don't know if he could. The weight behind those words, what they meant to me. Or maybe he did, considering his response.

"Indeed," he said, before he simply turned to the Torii and took three steps closer to the monster.

I didn't know what he was planning to do, but I knew I didn't want to miss it. I'm not sure I even blinked once as I watched him reach into his wide sleeve and pull out a paper talisman with some kind of script inked onto it between two fingers.

If my grin could have grown further, it would have as he held the talisman between his fore and middle fingers and folded the rest of his hand into a fist, making a single handed gesture of prayer pointed at the sky.

He muttered some words I couldn't hear properly, and then in a move that is surely too fast for a man of his age, he whipped his hand out and through the talisman forward.

The piece of paper flew like a knife right at the monster, but once it was halfway there, the talisman morphed and transformed into some kind of bird that tucked itself in tight and flew straight into, and then through the monster, it's beak acting like the tip of a spear.

A hole the size of my head was left in the bird's wake through the monster's torso and it let out a vile screech, like scratching glass that hurt my ears to listen to before the wound rapidly expanded and within seconds the entire monster simply disappeared into nothing.

I'm vibrating in excitement when the old man turns back to me, as if what he just did is something completely normal and not worth remarking.

"What was that?!" I squeal, completely unashamed of my own excitement. "What did you just do?!"

Kinoshita sighs again. "Get down from there first, and I will explain."

I almost eat dirt as I throw myself off the shinboku in a rush and it's only the respect he has taught me that keeps me silent as he walks into our home at an annoyingly casual speed.

Before I move to join him, I quickly turn back to the shinboku and bow twice, clap twice, and bow once more, as is proper for a prayer. "Thank you, Kami-sama, for granting me your protection."

With proper thanks given, I turn back to the house and quickly jog to catch up with the old man. In my haste, I never noticed the unnatural movement of the shinboku's branches.

Eventually, we find ourselves in the sitting room, with the old man preparing some tea for us both while I sit on my knees in front of our low table, unable to keep still.

"I had hoped," Kinoshita begins as he joins me, setting both cups of tea down and softly blowing on his own, "That I could have kept that side of the world hidden from you for longer."

"What?" I ask, my mind screeching to a halt. "You were hiding magic from me? On purpose?"

I wouldn't go so far as to say the revelation hurt me. Despite being in a child's body, I do actually have the maturity of an adult after all, but it's still disappointing to hear.

"Do you know why I named you Narauko?" He asks instead, the non sequitur earning a raised brow from me.

"It's the first word that came to mind?"

The old man's lip twitches upwards briefly before he shakes his head.

"Have you been slacking in your written language lessons?" He asks again and I pout.

"Kanji is so confusing! It's too many lines for each character! I might as well just draw pictures!" I complain, repeating a long standing argument between us.

I can barely read Kanji sometimes, that's my level of proficiency. In my last life, I remember that Japan had three written languages, Kanji, Hiragana and Katakana, and I'm pretty sure the latter two, or at least one of them, was less complicated.

But apparently neither of them exist yet. There's just Kanji. If I knew when the other two were invented, then I might be able to start guessing what year it is, but unfortunately I don't.

"If you had studied my lessons properly, you might know that the Kanji for Narau means to learn, or to practice. When combined with Ko your name can carry the meaning of 'Child who Learns'."

"Huh. That's nice to know, I suppose," I say, mild confusion tempering my excitement, "But what does any of that have to do with magic? And why you apparently wanted to hide it from me?"

"Because when I found you that day, and every day since, I have known that you are cursed."

"Cursed?" That doesn't sound good, am I going to die young? I don't think I could accept that. I apologise Izanami-Ōkami-sama, but if I die without seeing the beauty of the world, then I'm going to throw a fit down in Yomi.

"Calm yourself child, I do not mean curse in the typical sense of the word. Your affliction is much less physical."

"Come on Old Man, don't leave me in suspense here. What is my curse?" I ask, getting a little bit annoyed by the evasiveness.

His answer is simple.

"Curiosity."

"Curiosity?" I echo.

"Indeed. I have noticed it your entire life. Ever since I could hold you in one hand, ever since you could see, your eyes have been alight with naught but an endless curiosity. I had hoped to hide the supernatural side of the world from you, because I knew that once you caught a glimpse of it, you would pursue it endlessly. Curiosity is a dangerous thing, and yours will undoubtably bring you great trouble in the future."

A sigh leaves my mouth at his answer. On one hand, I want to get mad, but on the other, I can understand. Curiosity killed the cat is, or will be at least, a popular saying for a reason. Then again, satisfaction did bring it back.

Doesn't mean I'm particularly happy that he was going to hide something so beautiful from me, but I'm not mad either.

"If being true to myself means that I will encounter dangers, then that isn't for you to control. I can accept the consequences of my actions by myself, and if I do die while pursuing my passions, then that would be a good death."

"You are too young to be speaking of death, boy." Kinoshita scolds, before sighing once more. "Alas, you are not incorrect. For the past six years, I have raised you. I have fed you, cared for you, taught you. I allowed my fear of losing you to blind me from your own heart. For that, I apologise. As the one who has raised you, I should have known that you are mature enough to make your own decisions, despite your age."

With that, Kinoshita bows deeply from where he sits opposite me, and for a moment I am unable to respond, feeling small tears attempting to well in the corner of my eyes that I supress.

It's strange, but even after all of this time, I don't think I ever truly considered our relationship from the old man's perspective. I only really thought about myself, about this new world I found myself in and how I could enjoy it's wonders.

I only really thought of the old man caring for me as something convenient, like having roommates when you can't afford rent. He took care of me while I was a baby and in return he will have me to help him take care of the shrine until I became an adult.

That is as far as I thought about our relationship. I never even considered that he might think more of me. Which was stupid of me. This man has raised me. He taught me to speak, to prepare food, to live off the land and pay nature it's proper respect.

He's... He's my father.

Rubbing my eyes with one hand, I reach forward to raise his shoulder with my other. "Please don't bow to me. You were under no obligation to teach me everything you have so far, I have no right to demand anything of you, even if it is something I really really really want."

"If half the men in the Capital were half as mature as you are at six, then the world would be a much better place."

The conversation lulls as we both sip on our tea, comfortable in the silence until eventually my thoughts turn back to earlier and my excitement returns and I can no longer hold myself back.

"So," I say, letting the word hang in the air for a moment as I lean over the table with a grin on my face. "Magic?"

His lip quirks up on one side, which is about as close as I have ever been to seeing him smile. "Firstly, it is not magic. What you saw is called Jujutsu, or Onmyōdō. It is the art of utilizing Cursed Energy to produce phenomena, and the purpose of Jujutsu Sorcerers and Onmyōji is to eradicate Curses."

I immediately have so many questions that I don't even know where to start, something the old man seems to notice, but to avoid too much side-tracking, I decide to stick to asking about stuff as he explains it instead of jumping the gun.

"What's the difference between Jujutsu and Onmyōdō?" I ask, and Kinoshita nods his head.

"Good question. The answer is very simple however. Onmyōji work for the state, directly serving The Emperor, while Jujutsu Sorcerers are loyal to their clans, the Fujiwara being the most prominent of them in the current era. There are also Curse Users, who do not serve anyone and tend to be amongst the most vile people you will ever meet."

Nodding my head at the answer, I utterly fail to keep my questions simple and blurt out what I want to know the most. "How does it work?" I ask, almost breathless as I whisper my desperate request. "Teach me."

Holding my intense stare for a moment, Kinoshita nods and clears his throat, adopting a lecturing pose. "Jujutsu is the art of manipulating Cursed Energy to various purposes, from creating barriers, to activating talismans, to fuelling unique Cursed Techniques. Cursed Energy, is a spiritual manifestation of negative emotions, it is what births Cursed Spirits, when too many negative emotions conglomerate on an idea or a location. As practitioners of Jujutsu, we harness the very thing that creates our great enemy and use it to destroy them, as we have for thousands of years."

"All humans possess Cursed Energy, but the vast majority only possesses so much. A small amount that is not even significant enough for them to be able to see Cursed Spirits. However, every human leaks Cursed Energy, and that can add up into some powerful Cursed Spirits, such as the Smallpox Deity. Anyone who can see Cursed Spirits, such as you demonstrated earlier, is considered a Jujutsu Sorcerer. As Jujutsu Sorcerers possess far greater amounts of Cursed Energy than a human does, it is important that we learn to control the flow of our energy so that it does not leak and create Cursed Spirits. It was likely your own leaking Cursed Energy that created that Curse earlier, as it took the form of those deer you so love to spend time with. Which is why first lesson is to control your Cursed Energy."

I feel like a sponge as I absorb information like a starving man that finally found water. My unblinking eyes starting to sting by the time I hear the words 'first lesson' and I very nearly jump up and dance.

"How?" I ask, too excited to get more than one word out.

"First, you must understand it's feel," he says before holding out a hand, palm up, and then his hand starts to glow, a faint, blueish colour forming around the limb. "Can you see it?" He asks and I nod, not trusting my voice. "Good. Now, feel it." He says before reaching the hand over and pressing it against my chest.

It feels... Cold.

Not cold like snow, it's not the temperature that's cold. It's... I don't know how to describe it. It feels like emotional pain. Like that feeling you get in your chest when someone says something that just, genuinely hurts. Like when someone you care about brushes off your passion, whatever it is, and tells you they don't care.

It feels like that. That tightness, the weight. Bitter.

I can't stop smiling. The feeling almost makes me want to cry and that makes me want to laugh.

"Use my Cursed Energy as a reference and search within yourself for your own."

Following the old man's instructions, I close my eyes and focus inwards. It takes a moment, but I feel it. And then, I can't stop feeling it. It's like now that I know it's there, it's stopped hiding, I couldn't ignore its presence if I tried.

It almost makes me wonder how I could have ever missed it, how I could have lived without noticing it at all. And once I feel it in me, I feel it everywhere. 

My eyes open filled with such wonder that I miss the brief expression of surprise on Kinoshita's face as I was too busy looking around the world with new eyes.

Everything... Everything just got more beautiful. All the while, my desire to learn, to know and to see everything I can only grows.

"Good," Kinoshita states, bringing my attention back to him. "I see you have awakened to your Cursed Energy properly now. Now, try to bring it forth, as I did." He says, and I do.

I hold out my hand, just as he did, and I push the Cursed Energy in my hand past my skin and into the air. A gasp of childlike glee leaves me when my hand lights up in a similar blue hue, though my Cursed Energy looks darker than his, like a pot of ink has been spilled in it.

"Impressive." He notes, "Most Sorcerers make the mistake of believing that Cursed Energy is borne in the gut to flow around the body and end up limiting themselves." 

Shrugging to myself, I just respond honestly. "I figure, when you curse someone, you don't curse any specific organs, you just curse the entire person, so I assumed Cursed Energy would just be a part of us, like our soul or something. Overlapping."

Kinoshita nods his head but moves on. "Now, for the rest of today, I want you to gain control over your Cursed Energy. Make it flow in constant motion, throughout your entire body. Feel it. Command it. But above all, do not lose control of it. Learning to control your emotions is an incredibly important aspect of Jujutsu. Were you any other child, I would not trust you to be capable of keeping your negative emotions under control. We can continue lessons in the morning, once your excitement has calmed down somewhat."

Grinning, I hold my hand out in front of my face and stare at my Cursed Energy, enraptured. "Yeah. I'm starting to understand what you meant about my curiosity being my Curse. I don't think I could ever be satisfied knowing that there are depths to Cursed Energy I have not explored."

Nodding at my words, Kinoshita makes to stand, but before he rises, he turns to my glowing hand and reaches over. Assuming he wants to check if I'm doing it right, I offer my hand for him to touch, as he did for me earlier.

Our hands touch and Kinoshita blinks. "Warm," he mutters, too quietly to hear.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing, nothing," he answers, rising to his feet before gesturing to the forest out back. "Now go play, I know you want to."

Grinning, I don't hesitate to jump to my feet and sprint away. But I pause before reaching the door and quickly turn around, run up to the old man and jump into him, wrapping his torso in a hug.

"Thank you, Kinoshita-kamunushi," I say, meaning every word from the depths of my heart.

He ruffles my head and gestures me back to the door. "It is no concern, Narauko. Go play."

Nodding, I spin and sprint through the hall and back into the forest, a peel of laughter leaving me as I hop between thick roots and through the forest I call home.

It doesn't take me long to reach my usual spot, and I find near a dozen deer sitting around it. They all perk up at the sound of my approach but calm once they take sight of me.

Once I step into the clearing, the deer all get up as one and crowd me, pushing against me and it takes a moment where I think I have some berries stuck to my clothes before I realise why.

"Aww, were you worried?" I ask, doing my best to pet them all as I walk to my usual spot and plop onto my butt, the deer joining me in a huddle. "Well, don't you worry. I'm basically immortal after all. I won't die until my curiosity is satisfied, which means I can never die. Simple, right?"

A deer nips at my ear and I laugh.

But as much as I love my deer friends, my curiosity drags my mind right back to my Cursed Energy.

It takes only a moment to feel it out and bring it forth once more, and since I don't have any instruction yet, I do exactly what the old man knew I wanted to do, and I just play with it.

Moving it around, compressing and stretching it, anything I can think of I try. For hours and hours, I keep playing with my Cursed Energy without break, too entranced by it to even notice the way my eyelids grow heavy until eventually, without even realising it, I fall asleep in a pile of deer.

That night, I dreamt of two wolves, one a magnificent silver, the other an inky black and both with a strange triangle marked on their foreheads, one pointing up, the other down.

///

A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

And vioal, we have chapter 2. This will be the last of the childhood arc, because nothing interesting will happen other than training, and that's repetitive. Granted, I could have some interesting things happen, but I don't want to write a child, so the interesting stuff is going to happen when he's older.

(though, granted, the timeskip is going to be to his 15th, because from what I've been able to gather, that's when boys were acknowledged as men, then again at 20, at the time, so it's a good time for Narauko to start his adventure)

Also, I'm just an ignorant white guy with wikipedia, so if you know anything I'm missing out culturally or historically or anything I get wrong, please do point it out and preferably link a source better than 'trust me bro' :) Cuz I'm trying to keep things period accurate, tho it's not like I know how they spoke and how it would translate into english beyond just sounding formal for the most part.