Tech Scavengers [Humorous, Action-Packed Space Opera]

Jeridan was in a long conversation with an Awaari propulsion engineer who was worried about the spaceship capabilities of the invading aliens. It was an interesting conversation. The guy (girl? He could never tell with those sentient pom-poms) had analyzed all the intel vids sent via comm probes, looking at the destruction of half a dozen worlds and the space battles that preceded them. The Awaari was giving him details about the capabilities of the Rimscourge ships, everything from acceleration to an estimate of maximum speed.

"The maximum speed seems to decrease when units link up," the Awaari was saying. Negasi tugged on his sleeve but Jeridan held up his hand to make him wait. "You would think that since each section has the same maximum speed that they would fire all their thrusters when linked and thus still attain maximum speed, but this isn't the case. Instead, they turn off some of their thrusters when linked."

Negasi tugged on his sleeve again.

"Hold on, buddy. So why do you think they turn off some of their thrusters?"

"I'm not sure. They link in a pattern that would allow them to fire all thrusters without destabilizing the ship. Perhaps it's a current flow problem. It's impossible to say without actually getting inside one of them."

"Jeridan! Hey, Jeridan!"

"Shut up a minute," he told Negasi. "I'm getting some good intel here."

He was also witnessing a rarity—an Awaari being totally honest.

And why wouldn't the puffball be honest? He or she was just as worried about the invasion as anyone.

"I'm conducting further analysis and hope to make a full report soon that I will send out on the comm probes. The corporation I work for has already offered to pay the transmission fees."

"That's great. I'm looking forward to reading it. I—"

Before he could go on, Negasi grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around.

"What's eating you?" Jeridan growled.

"They're here," Negasi whispered.

"Who's here?"

"The cacking Syndicate, who do you think?"

"Who told you?"

Negasi inclined his head to indicate a woman next to him, who took that moment to let out a loud belch.

"Does she even know what she's talking about?" Jeridan asked.

"She said someone matching Bruno Flashback's description had some sort of mercenary mission and was teamed up with Mantids."

"Well that doesn't necessarily mean … "

Jeridan's voice trailed off as he saw Max, the little green Kibwengo, come through the entrance forcefield. He spotted Jeridan and Negasi instantly, gave them a toothy yellow grin, waved, and hurried over.

"Hey guys, enjoying your stay?"

"How did you recognize us?" Jeridan demanded.

"I saw your second disguise, and then when you went into the bathroom, you never came out but two new people did."

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"Oh. What do you want?"

"I got news for you."

"What news?"

"Well," Max's grin grew wider and he looked back at the entrance. "News doesn't come for free in these parts, and it's time sensitive."

Jeridan and Negasi stood.

"Let's get out of here," Jeridan told his friend.

They headed for the entrance. Max got in their way and put a hand on Jeridan's chest, stopping him with surprising strength.

"Oh, you don't want go that way," the Kibwengo told them. "I'll tell you that for free."

"I've only ever seen one way in or out of this place," Jeridan said.

"You can go through the employee's exit."

"Where's that?" Jeridan asked, looking around. All he saw was gyrating flesh in all the colors of the rainbow.

"Backstage."

"You mean that door over there with the Grish guarding it? He's got two low-slung pistols and he looks like he knows how to use them."

"Sure. He's the best quick draw I've ever seen."

"A gunfight isn't what we need right now."

"Standing around here isn't what we need right now, either," Negasi said.

"I can get you backstage," Max said.

"How?"

"I'm an employee."

"Yeah, sure you are."

"I am! Well, I know the employee passwords."

"They aren't going to work if they know we're not employees."

"Sure they will." Max stood a little taller, which didn't amount to much. "I got special access."

"This is bull," Negasi grumbled. "Let's get back to the ship."

Just then, three humans passed through the entrance forcefield. One was the man they had seen Max talking to before. Another was once a woman with cyborg limbs.

The third was Bruno Flashback.

They recognized him immediately. It was hard not to. Half his skull was durasteel, one hand and one leg were prosthetic, and he had more scars than flesh. He wore a faded old uniform from one of the many militaries he had been a temporary officer for. A large rifle was strapped across his back and another was gripped in his hands.

He spotted Jeridan and Negasi in an instant, his face twisting with rage. That looked twice as intimidating as the various scars and suture lines creased into enough canyons to irrigate a desert world.

His eyes went wide, unfocused.

"Incoming!" he shouted. "Hit the deck!"

Because of the noise in the club, only the people within a few yards heard him. They all dove for cover. Those on the periphery saw this and began to duck too, making an interesting ripple effect. Even the strippers leapt off stage and into the laps of the nearest customers, who dove under the tables, taking the strippers with them.

The only people who didn't dive for cover were the mercenaries, Max, Jeridan, and Negasi.

Bruno Flashback grinned and pulled out a hefty auto slug rifle.

Maybe he doesn't have flashbacks for real.

"Charge!" he shouted. "We need to take the hill!"

Or maybe he does.

Jeridan and Negasi dove in opposite directions as heavy slugs tore through the air between them and ricocheted off the bar. The drunk woman Negasi had been chatting up cried out as a ricochet hit her in the side.

A bulletproof bar. Good for the bartender. Not so good for the customers.

Jeridan decided to reduce the number of ricochets by drawing his pistol and firing back.

The three mercenaries had taken cover. The one who had been talking to Max popped up from behind an overturned table and fired a stream of flechettes, forcing Jeridan to roll to one side.

He ended up on his belly and aimed for the guy, only to see a slug puncture his forehead.

"That's what you get for ruining my new spacesuit, bastard!" the drunk woman shouted.

"Thanks!" Jeridan said.

She aimed her pistol at him, her other hand clutching her bloody side. "This is your fault. Get out of here before I blow you away!"

"Why does everyone blame me for everything!" Jeridan cried, scurrying for the shelter of one of the stages. Flechettes and slugs chased him. He glanced back and saw Negasi following, firing as he went.

Jeridan dove behind one of the stages and ended up landing on an octopoid alien that immediately embraced him with its tentacles.

"Hey, baby. You're cute!"

"Sorry. Busy."

Jeridan extracted himself and raced for the employee door.

He did a 180 when he saw that gunslinger draw his pistols with lightning speed and give him a warning look.

Jeridan cut to the left, where a hallway dimly lit by a red light led to private rooms.

"Now's not the time!" Negasi shouted, ducking another shot.

"There's got to be an exit in there somewhere for the employees."

"Won't it be guarded too?"

Before Jeridan could reply, the cyborg vaulted through the air and landed right in front of the door, blocking their way. She spread her durasteel fingers, each with a spinning drill on the tip, and her arms telescoped out toward Jeridan and Negasi.

They threw themselves on the floor. The cyborg's arms shot over them, then smacked down hard, hitting Jeridan in the chest and knocking the wind out of him. As he lay groaning, he saw the durasteel arms curl up, those finger drills pointing right at him, and came plunging down.