Tech Scavengers [Humorous, Action-Packed Space Opera]

Jeridan really, really wanted to punch somebody.

Unfortunately, Helen was a woman.

Well, a half woman, but he still couldn't punch her.

So he punched Negasi in the shoulder instead.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For lying."

"What did I lie about?"

"Not you. Her." He jabbed a finger in Helen's direction.

"Then why hit me?"

"Because I can't hit a woman, dummy."

"But—"

"Stop interrupting. Helen, why the hell does the only surviving intelligence from the Imperium Era not remember a little thing like an invasion? Care to explain that?"

Jeridan felt a sharp pain in his shoulder.

"Ow!"

"If you can hit me for lying, I get to hit you," Negasi said. "Helen, explain yourself."

The cyborg looked flustered. "I-I don't know. ZHI should remember. She said some of her memory was corrupted. That must be it!"

Jeridan was not impressed. This thing could make a million computations per second and couldn't come up with a believable story?

"Uh-huh. How convenient. The AI forgets the one thing that's motivated us to go through all this danger."

"Come on, Jeridan, think. The invasion is real. We couldn't have made it up. You've seen newsvids about it on half a dozen planets and spaceports!"

"Sure, the invasion is real, but that doesn't mean that's your motivation for coming here."

"Why else would we go through all this?"

Helen took another step back. Jeridan took a step forward. Negasi didn't.

"I don't know. You tell me."

Helen raised her hands, trying to look confused and helpless. Jeridan wasn't convinced for a second.

"Jeridan, look. I know we kept the two of you in the dark about many things, but that was only for security. We had the Antari Syndicate hunting us, and traitors in our own ranks. Negasi and I were nearly killed by one on Yavari Prime. We had to keep our true plans secret."

"Yeah, you guys used that to justify a lot. Way too much. The question is, are you still keeping your plans secret? Which excuse are you using this time—the safety of the galaxy or your own personal security?"

Jeridan felt Negasi's hand on his arm. He turned. Negasi nodded toward the AI. The blue pixelated face was impassive, listening.

"Um, right. ZHI, if you'll excuse us for a moment?"

The two of them walked out of the room. Since Helen was between them and the door, she could either get out of the way or leave too.

She chose to leave.

The three of them walked in silence saved for their footsteps on the metal deck. Once they were around the corner and all the way to the stairs, Jeridan stopped in front of her and, with his fists on his hips, spoke again.

"All right, I want an explanation and I want a good one. I don't want you opening your mouth and a waterfall of cack coming out of it."

"That would be a cackfall," Negasi said.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

"What?"

"If cack was coming out, it would be a cackfall. It might be in the shape of a waterfall, but if it's cack, it would definitely be a cackfall."

Helen smiled. "Are you two ever serious?"

"We are serious. You can tell because we're joking around. But I'm not joking about wanting an honest answer. Why does ZHI not remember the invasion?"

"It happened nearly a century before the rebellion that led to Imperial collapse. Maybe—"

"Maybe she wasn't versed in basic history? Come on. Even when she was a human, she would have known about that."

"The invasion was nearly a century before she was born. The Imperium had lots of wars with alien species."

"Not one that powerful, and no others that came from outside the rim. Come on, Helen, you're not getting out of it that way."

"I'm not trying to get out of anything. I'm just as confused as you are."

"We're getting a cackfall," Negasi told him.

"Big time."

Helen gave Negasi an earnest look. "I'm not lying. Please believe me."

Jeridan remembered what she had said about being in love with Negasi. Had that been a lie too? Something to put them off guard?

As far as he knew, Helen hadn't told Negasi about her supposed feelings. He would have probably mentioned it, or maybe not if he was embarrassed. But if she didn't tell Negasi, then why tell him? She had made it look like it was a reason to trust her, and it had convinced him a little bit. She had put on a good acting job.

Or was it acting?

Damn, these people are driving me crazy!

"We're getting nowhere," Negasi said. "She's not going to give us a straight answer. Let's figure out what to do about ZHI."

"Now that we've put her on life support, we can finish up scavenging this place and then come back to her."

"So kick the problem down the road because we don't have a clue how to solve it?"

"Exactly."

"It's worked before."

"It's worked for most of our careers."

"We have to tell her something," Helen said. "We can't just walk away and leave her stranded."

"Um … right," Jeridan said. "Let's go talk with her. Helen, you stay outside the room and do not speak to ZHI. That's an order. If you pull any more stunts, I'll confine you to quarters for the duration and I don't give a damn how important you are to the mission."

Helen looked to Negasi for support, but he only turned away. They headed back to the command center, Helen's head hanging low.

Once they got back to the main command center, Helen stayed in the corridor and they entered. The blue face still shone on the central screen. There was nothing on the two flanking screens. ZHI obviously didn't want to waste any energy.

Before Jeridan could speak, ZHI asked, "When will you power up the main reactor?"

"We haven't had time to check its condition, and we lack the expertise to power it up safely."

That was true. No one had ever found an intact Imperium reactor. They had all been scavenged in the early days of the fall or had detonated because of accidents or warfare. Not even a team of top research scientists from the highest-tech world in known space could turn on this station's reactor without weeks of study.

Jeridan glanced at the doorway and didn't see Helen. Good. The last thing they needed right now was her interference. She was probably just around the corner listening, though.

"We need to do some more work here in the station. We'll return when we're done."

"I only have sufficient power reserves for 4.2 days at current power expenditure."

"We'll be back well before then."

"What will you be doing in this station?"

Jeridan didn't see any reason to lie. "We're downloading all the information about jump gate technology. We'll also be looking around for other tech that we don't have in our era."

"Theft of Imperium property is a felony."

Jeridan bit his lip. From her perspective, that was exactly what they were doing.

"In normal situations, you would be correct. But since the fall of the Imperium, any Imperium-era station or ship not under local jurisdiction, such as a planet or planetary system, is considered owned by whoever first discovers and claims it."

And can fight off their rivals.

"So the station counts as a natural resource?"

"You could put it that way."

Negasi cut in. "Could you tell us a bit more about the technology you have here on this station?"

"Imperium protocols do not allow me to divulge that information to unauthorized personnel."

"All authorized personnel died three centuries ago," Negasi replied.

"I have not confirmed that information."

Negasi didn't have a response to that. Neither did Jeridan.

"Coming from your perspective, I can understand why you might not trust us. Is there any way we can convince you?"

"I presume you came here on a spacefaring vessel."

"Of course."

They had cut ZHI off from any external sensors, not that they were working anyway.

"If you give me access to your vessel's databanks, I can scan the historical information and confirm your statements."

"I'm afraid we can't do that at this time. Security."

"I pose no threat. You have isolated me from all other systems."

"I'm sorry, ZHI, but we don't know your capabilities, and you nearly overloaded Helen's implants."

"I would be more careful next time."

"We'll see. In the meantime, sit tight. We'll be back in time to give you more energy. Don't worry, we won't let you run down."

Just what we're going to do with you in the long term is another question.

He looked to Negasi, who nodded.

They headed out the door.

Just as Jeridan was about to leave, he turned back to the expressionless blue face on the screen.

"Oh, ZHI. We had a bit of trouble with an Imperium combat mech, probably the same mech that powered you up. Do you know of any other station defenses that might still be online?"

"Imperium protocols do not allow me to divulge that information to unauthorized personnel."

Jeridan sighed. He should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

No tech scavenge of this magnitude was going to come for free.