Tech Scavengers [Humorous, Action-Packed Space Opera]

Negasi clung to the antigrav platform as Jeridan sprinted down the corridor to the stairs. He swung around corners so fast even Imperium technology couldn't compensate. Negasi spreadeagled on the platform and hung on for his life.

"You could at least let me get off!"

"No time."

"You could ditch it."

"No weight."

Jeridan did seem to be running just as fast as usual, if not faster. Negasi looked around, the beam of his headlamp looking for the source of that voice. His brain told him that it had been some old public announcement that got tripped somehow. His gut told him this place was haunted.

"How the hell did that happen?" Jeridan asked, running up the stairs. The decks were high enough that the stairs above them didn't bash Negasi in the head.

"Dunno."

"How could it get power? What was powering it?"

"Dunno."

"You're especially eloquent today."

"Look, you have no idea how that happened either, and unlike me, you just cacked in your spacesuit!"

"I've never cacked in my spacesuit."

"What about that time when we were running from the cops on Beta Enari and they rammed our hovercar?"

"I didn't cack myself!" Jeridan shouted, getting to the proper level and sprinting for the central computer room.

"I could smell it."

"You were smelling yourself."

"I was smelling you!"

A metallic voice shouted, "Silence, or I will vaporize you!"

Jeridan shrieked. What a wuss. He shrieked so loud it sounded like two people shrieking.

And the idiot stopped so abruptly that even the antigrav platform couldn't compensate. Negasi tumbled over the front and landed on the deck in a heap.

He scrambled for his rifle and looked up as the metallic voice shouted, "Freeze!"

Looked up straight into twin barrels pointed straight at him.

It took him a moment to realize it was Poopsie.

The metallic voice boomed out a laugh. "Omigod, you guys are such nerds!"

Negasi groaned. "Aurora, don't do that. You made Jeridan drop a load in his pants again."

Poopsie laughed again. The metallic laughter sounded oddly feminine and adolescent. He could practically see the girl behind the dark lenses that were the combat mech's eyes.

Nova came around the corner, clutching a rifle. "Will you two stop screwing around and get in here!"

They hurried into the main computer room. Poopsie stayed on guard at the door. At least Aurora had switched the mic off. She was still probably laughing her ass off on the Antikythera.

"Did you see anything?" Nova asked. Derren/Mason and Helen were still hard at work and didn't even look up.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

"Nothing," Negasi replied. "What do you think that was?"

"Some sort of automatic announcement," Nova said, closing the door that the combat mech wasn't guarding. That covered their flank, but also left them trapped. "It must have detected us boarding the station. But how is it powered? And why didn't it speak to us the last time we came aboard? Or when we came here a year ago?"

No one had any answers.

Negasi thought of one, but he didn't like it.

Against his better judgement, he said, "Perhaps we should do as it says and report at once to the command center."

Neither Nova nor Jeridan looked happy about that. Negasi grinned and punched his friend on the shoulder.

"It specified high-ranking personnel. You're always talking about being the captain, so maybe you should go and I'll stay here."

"You're the head gunner."

"I'm the only gunner!"

"Still, I think you should go."

Derren/Mason spoke without looking up from the screen. "No one goes anywhere until we've downloaded all the data we need."

"How long will that take?" Negasi asked.

"As long as it takes," said the father inside his son's head.

"We can't just stay here. The station just talked to us!"

"We stay," Nova said, moving back to one of the terminals.

"The mission is the most important thing," Derren/Mason said. "It's the only important thing."

I can see why the two of you got married.

"What if it sends another mech after us?"

"It's probably just an automated recording," Nova said.

"An automatic recording that shouldn't have a power source! What else is it powering up? Maybe it's calling us so we can switch off some sort of timed defensive measures."

The intercom boomed again.

"All high-ranking personnel please report at once to the command center. This is the second and final announcement. You have five standard minutes to reply in person or the station will take defensive measures."

"Cack!" Jeridan cried. "The one time in your life you're right, and you have to be right about this?"

"We got to get out of here," Negasi said.

"Not until we retrieve all the data," Derren/Mason said.

"Would Mason feel it if I spanked you?"

Derren/Mason looked up at that. "Watch it."

Negasi turned to Helen. "Talk sense to these two."

Helen remained staring at nothing, her silvery eyes unmoving. "I'm downloading as fast as I can."

Negasi threw his hands in the air. "Ugh! Hopeless!"

"We have five standard minutes," Jeridan said. "We have to do something."

Negasi looked at the three workaholics in the group. None of them said anything. None of them stopped working.

He took a deep breath and said, "We're going to the command center and figure out how to save all our lives."

"Good," Nova said, typing.

"Thanks," Helen said, staring at the wall.

"Do that," Derren/Mason said as he slipped a second external memory block into the computer.

"You're welcome," Jeridan grumbled. "Come on, Negasi. Let's go."

Negasi checked his tablet to find the command center, right at the top of the spherical station, three stories up from their current position.

Getting there in time was going to be tight. They wouldn't be able to check corners and open doorways properly. Anything could ambush them with ease.

"I don't like this," he told his best friend as they ran out the door.

"Save your breath," Jeridan said. "We've got a lot of sprinting to do."

Negasi stopped as they passed the antigrav transporter. "Wait, I have an idea. Hope on."

"Huh?"

"Hop on!"

He hopped on so Jeridan could see how it was done. When Jeridan got panicky, the guy sometimes became subvocal. It was like rapid reverse evolution or something.

Once Jeridan was on, Negasi told him to get a good grip and, bracing his feet against the lip of the platform, fired his rifle behind them, making sure to hit the doorway and not Poopsie. The antigrav platform flew down the corridor. So much sudden force overrode the device's inertial dampeners for a good ten meters before it managed to slow to a stop.

Negasi fired again, and they made it to the stairs.

"Someone's going to hear that!" Jeridan said, clutching the sides.

"So what? If something's around here, it already knows we're here."

He fired at the landing, and the antigrav platform shot up all the way to the next level, banging against the stairs and nearly tossing them off.

"Careful!"

Negasi ignored him, pushed along the edge of the railing to turn the platform to face the next flight of steps, and fired again, getting them up another level. Repeating the maneuver got them to the level of the command center.

The whole thing had taken less than a minute.

"We better run from here," Negasi said. "I want to see where I'm going."

The map Poopsie had sent to his tablet showed that they simply had to follow a broad corridor a few dozen meters, take a left, and the command center would be just a few meters further on.

Negasi and Jeridan moved down the corridor, eyes alert, headlamps probing every shadow, every open door. They passed more computer rooms, and what looked like labs. They didn't have time to properly check them out. They didn't have time for anything except to get to the control room before … something happened.

They reached the final corner, stopped, and took a careful peek. No way were they going to rush this part.

The command center stood at the end of the corridor, its door open. Poopsie had noted the door to be closed when it had made its recon.

A faint blue light shone within. Negasi could hear the low hum of machinery.