Tales of White and Gray

"Reka, I need to talk to you…" Santi said softly, her voice gentle yet filled with meaning.

We walked together to a secluded spot on the edge of the school grounds, a place so quiet that the only sound was the gentle rustling of the wind. This spot was infamous for being haunted, and I couldn't help but wonder why Santi had chosen to bring me here of all places. It wasn't the rumored spookiness that bothered me—it was the awkwardness of being alone in such a place with someone like Santi. The air was thick with tension, and I silently prayed my thoughts wouldn't stray into dangerous territory. The last thing I needed was for any devilish whispers to steer my mind where it shouldn't go.

"What's with the dragging? Did you have to pull me so hard?" I complained, trying to shake off her grip, my arm slightly sore from her firm hold.

"I need to talk to you. Just the two of us," she said, her tone serious, her eyes locking onto mine. There was an intensity in her gaze—a storm of unspoken emotions swirling beneath the surface. Her expression was a mix of nervousness, determination, and just a hint of bashfulness.

Caught off guard, I could only blink, trying to process the shift in her demeanor. Santi was rarely this direct, and it threw me off balance. Whatever she wanted to say, it felt weighty—like it had been bottled up for too long.

"Do you really have to drag me like that?!" I snapped, a little annoyed, pointing at my arm, which was now red from her grip. But honestly, beyond the sting, I was just plain confused. Santi's sudden shift from her usual snarky attitude to being all soft and apologetic totally threw me off. She wasn't acting like her usual cold, sharp-tongued self; instead, she looked... vulnerable, almost like she regretted something.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Santi said softly, her voice sounding a bit guilty. The regret on her face was so clear it caught me off guard. I felt myself softening a little, even though I didn't totally understand what was going on. There was this weird warmth creeping in, mixed with all the uncertainty about what she was trying to say.

"So, what's this about? Why'd we have to do this one-on-one? Couldn't you just say whatever in front of the others?" I asked, still feeling a little annoyed but way more curious now. My mind was racing because Santi had never been like this before. She was always strong, always confident, never this... hesitant.

"No, I can't. I need to talk to you one-on-one," Santi said, her voice lower now but firm. There was a certain determination behind her soft tone, and it made me feel a bit more open to whatever she was about to say.

"Alright then, just say it," I replied with a hint of frustration, tired of how heavy and confusing this whole thing felt. But deep down, my curiosity was burning stronger than my confusion, keeping me from walking away.

"Actually, I..."

Just as she was about to continue, the sound of footsteps interrupted her. My heart started racing—not from fear, but because of who it was. Definitely not a ghost—there's no way a ghost could look that beautiful. And it's not like I was the kind of guy who'd panic over getting caught alone with a girl in a sketchy spot. 

The person who showed up was Rani—my girlfriend. 

"Kak Reka? Teh Santi? What are you two doing alone in a place like this?" Rani asked, her voice rising slightly, filled with curiosity and just a dash of jealousy.

(A/N: Kak is shortened version of Kakak which mean older person, can be male or female, in Bahasa Indonesia. Teh is shortened version of Teteh which is older sister in Sundanese, the main ethnicity of West Java, Indonesia.)

"..." I was at a loss for words, as if caught red-handed in the act of cheating. All my words got stuck in my throat, leaving only panic reflected on my face. 

"Eh Rani. We were sent by the PE teacher to grab a mattress," Santi quickly explained, her voice calm but slightly nervous. Conveniently, the hallway we were in was near the school's storage room.

"Hah? So, you dragged me here just to grab a mattress?" Rani asked, her tone stuttering and almost acting as if questioning something unnatural.

"Ehm, no… uh yeah… yeah," Santi replied, stumbling over her words, swallowing her awkwardness.

"But isn't the graduation announcement happening now?" Rani asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes as if inspecting us for hidden motives.

"Uh… that…." Santi struggled to answer; her mouth clamped shut as though she was hiding something.

"That… I don't know, Pak Bambang always does weird stuff like this. Anyway, let's have a date later, okay?" I tried to change the subject to something else, hoping to avoid making Rani even more suspicious.

"Oh, I thought you guys were up to something else… okay, I'll head back to class then. Bye Kak Reka, I'll wait for you later. Bye Teh Santi," Rani finally left, still looking a little confused, but definitely suspicious.

"You really needed help to grab the mat? You didn't have to pull me like that. Luckily, Rani didn't think anything weird. You, though…" I pretended to complain, hoping that's all Santi meant.

"Hey, why isn't she saying anything?" I murmured, feeling puzzled. When I glanced back, I saw her crying.

"Wait, what did I do wrong for her to be crying like that?" I asked, genuinely confused, trying to understand her sudden change in behavior.

"…" 

"Say something, Ti. If I did something wrong, I'm sorry," I said softly, trying to comfort her.

"You didn't do anything wrong…" Santi replied, her voice gentle but holding a deep sadness.

"Then why are you crying?" I asked, growing more anxious.

"…"

"Ti?"

"…"

Santi simply lowered her head, as if holding something unbearably heavy within her heart.

"Santi?" I asked more softly, gazing into her eyes intently. She then lifted her face, meeting my gaze deeply.

I was confused by the situation I found myself in. There was something so familiar, so profoundly intimate in her eyes—a story buried deep within time. From her gaze, I sensed an overwhelming sadness mixed with unfulfilled hopes.

Her face grew closer, inch by inch, and without realizing it, I felt it. A gentle, warm kiss touched my cheek. The soft, damp touch lingered on my skin, carrying deep meaning, causing time to almost pause.

My heart pounded fiercely, and for a moment, it felt as though my very soul floated away. Yet, in that instant, everything was beautiful—every emotion, every feeling pouring out in a single unforgettable moment.