System Lost: My Own Best Friend

With every moment I spend in this body, I discover something new to hate about it. The lack of fur makes me feel exposed, and offers no protection from the hot summer sun. At the same time, fur grows selectively in strange places that seems to exist for the sole purpose of rubbing up against this bizarrely tight clothing and constantly itching. The fingers are tipped with long nails—too fragile to be claws, yet hard enough to catch and pull painfully when climbing.

Yet all of it pales in comparison to the single worst trait of the human body—the most worthless appendages of all. Their chaos-cursed feet!

Not only do they also have those worthless semi-soft nails—as if in mockery of proper hooves—but their soles are entirely soft flesh and skin. Not even sturdy skin, either. The bottoms of human feet are more sensitive than other parts of their skin. The rawhide sole of their so-called "slippers" does almost nothing to spare me from jagged rocks and stray pebbles.

"Blood and acid," I mutter angrily, kicking aside a small stone and immediately regretting it as a shock of pain travels up my leg. "How did your species ever survive without the ability to walk properly?"

"Our skin adapts over time to become thicker and sturdier," Violet explains. "We didn't do much walking before, and we haven't had time to adapt."

"Not that I want any gross calluses on my feet anyway," Allison complains.

"Lovely..." I groan.

The descent has been largely uneventful so far. Despite Allison's pathetic whining, the "cliffs" so far have been nothing but steep inclines. Lady Baanu and Draga simply walked down them like normal people, while I had to climb down backwards on all fours. Again, it's the accursed feet that are the problem.

On a flat, hard surface, they are admittedly quite stable. But in every other circumstance, they are inferior to hooves. They're lumpy and clumsy, and struggle to find purchase. It's like having an extra pair of worse hands. It's embarrassing having to awkwardly climb down such basic slopes.

"It's alright, Evelyn," Talla reassures me. "We're not in a hurry, and we can take a break when we reach the oasis."

Lady Baanu's patronization is far from comforting. It only serves to remind me of how much I've lost. Not that I'm ungrateful to the Goddess for giving me a second chance at life. I only wish it wasn't...this.

"How do you know who I am?" I ask as I make it to the bottom of another cliff and wipe the sweat from my brow—another annoying feature of this body.

"You address me differently, I can hear the others speaking to you, you scowl constantly—though Violet does that too," she says, counting off on her fingers. "Oh, and you're speaking Fa'aun...sort of."

My face heats up from embarrassment for asking such a stupid question. Why do I always make such a fool of myself?

"Oh hey, yeah!" Allison chirps. "I hadn't even noticed!"

"You didn't?" Violet asks. "She does the same when speaking in our head. We just naturally understand it."

Well, I suppose I'm not the only ignorant one. It makes me feel just a tiny bit better.

"I apologize for my poor pronunciation, my lady," I say with a small bow. "Even at the smallest scales, this body doesn't move the way I want it to."

She waves me off dismissively. "It's fine. You're mostly understandable, I think. It's a bit like a speech impediment—kind of cute, in a way."

Lovely. So I'm like an infant to her. I don't think the others have noticed how much Lady Baanu treats them like a pet or a curiosity. She forgives their failings because she expects nothing from them. They're no better than the worm around our neck.

I hate how used to the thing I've already gotten. It's not like nobody has ever domesticated a creature from a convergence point, but why this one? As if it can sense my thoughts, Nipper adjusts its position, slithering under my arm and wrapping itself around to rest its head on my shoulder.

"No, don't—blood and acid, I can't rest my arm like this!" I complain, forced to awkwardly keep my right arm lifted slightly to avoid squishing the creature.

"He's sturdier than he looks," the chaos witch informs me. "It won't be super comfy, but you can rest your arm and it won't hurt him."

"I'm not concerned with its well-being," I retort bitterly.

Nevertheless, I do relax my arm a little bit. Maybe it's my imagination, but Nipper seems to squeeze my shoulder slightly tighter in response.

"Hah!" Magdalena crows. "You like him!"

I'm not going to dignify that with a response.

"There's the oasis," Draga calls out, pointing out over a nearby cliff.

Across the mountain, the river Sagaa cuts a swathe through the landscape as if to pay tribute to the great wheel above the sky. Along the wide river's shimmering blue shores, dusty brown rocks give way to lush greenery—a great artery supplying the heart of the Stebaa empire with essential lifeblood.

"Oh my gosh!" Allison gasps. "That is huge! When you said oasis, I was picturing like...a little pond with some palm trees around it."

"It's so beautiful..." Violet comments quietly.

My chest swells with pride. Such is the beauty of my homeland that even their fear of heights is momentarily forgotten. Mind you, this is my first time seeing it too.

"It's also miles away," the chaos witch points out. "I thought you said it was a short hike!"

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"I told you it would take all day," Lady Baanu corrects her. "It's not a difficult hike, but porting water up the mountain is unpleasant."

"We definitely would have died if we tried to survive on our own out here," Allison says.

"Less talk," Draga grumbles. "The sooner we get to the oasis, the sooner we can make camp. I'm sure we're all looking forward to cooling off in the river."

"Didn't we just break camp?" Allison asks.

"Have you never traveled before?" I reply. "What did you think we were going to do at night, just lay down wherever we happened to end up?"

"I mean, that's sort of what we were doing in the cave," Magdalena says.

"I've never traveled like this," Allison admits. "You're right though, that was a dumb question."

The three I'm stuck with are so strange. They know things about complicated subjects that even draw the interest of a well educated lady, yet they are completely clueless and ignorant about basic facts of life. What sort of sheltered life did they live in their own world, I wonder?

The rest of the journey is long and uneventful, though by the time we start seeing bushes and trees along the path, my entire body is practically shaking from exhaustion. My hands are sore from scrapes, cuts, and broken fingernails, my back is screaming, and my thousand-times-accursed feet feel like they've had nails hammered into them. To make matters worse, my face prickles and itches.

"Blood and acid, already?" Lady Baanu sighs, brushing a lock of hair out of my eyes as she examines my face. "You're all red again."

"I already burn easily and it's blazing out here," Allison complains. "We don't exactly have sunscreen, either."

"You stole all of these clothes and didn't bother changing into something to cover up?" I scold her as Lady Baanu uses her magic to heal us.

"I wanted to wash up before we changed into clean clothes," she protests. "And I didn't realize it would be such a long hike! What about your skill? Can't you patch us up?"

"No," I huff. "I can't access it anymore because somebody thought that fire-based thaumaturgy was more important."

In truth, I'm not even sure that I'd be able to use it if they hadn't lost the skill that let me reclaim it in the first place. I've tried to reach for my old class, but the [World Engine] doesn't even respond with denial anymore. It's as though the attachment was severed entirely. I don't know what's changed, but it seems I truly must reclaim the grace of the Goddess from scratch.

"Oops," Magdalena chuckles bashfully. "My bad, I guess. I might not have been thinking that one through."

"I specifically brought that up," Violet complains. "You didn't just not think of it, you deliberately ignored it!"

"I'm sure whatever version thaumaturgy gives us will be better," she insists.

If we even can access it anymore. I'll leave that for them to discover, however. I don't want to be party to their unsanctioned use of dangerous skills—especially not the chaos witch.

The sun has already started to set by the time we make it to shore, and Draga wastes no time in preparing our camp.

"Talla, you and Allie can go ahead and get cleaned up while I set things up here," he says.

"I'm not Allison," I correct him politely.

"Right, sorry," he says, ducking his head slightly. "I'm still getting used to that."

I blink. "You understood me?"

"Your accent is like nothing I've ever heard, but I get the gist, yes," he confirms. "Honestly, I was struggling to wrap my head around the idea of there being more than one of you in there, but hearing you suddenly start speaking fluent—albeit garbled—Fa'aun has me completely convinced."

I bow politely. "I understand. I'd doubt it myself if I weren't living it."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Talla's right, though—you do talk like a grandma."

"Yes, well," I huff. "Apparently I'm two hundred years old now."

"No, you're seventeen," Allison corrects me. "You should only count the years you've lived."

I roll my eyes. "I know that! I'm not completely clueless, Miss Allison! That was meant as a joke."

"Sorry."

Draga cocks his head. "Speaking to the others?"

Oh right. Only Lady Baanu can hear them. I nod in confirmation.

"I see," he sighs. "What's your opinion of them, if I might ask? They're still quite strange to me, but you've gotten a closer look than any of us."

Hmm. At last I have an opportunity to speak my mind to someone who might actually listen. It's far too late for warnings—anything I might tell him, he already knows, and Lady Baanu's favor almost certainly trumps whatever opinion he might have anyway. Nevertheless, the Goddess is a being of order and truth, and I will uphold Her ideals.

"I despise them," I answer simply. "They are arrogant, rude, violent, and frequently dismissive of the warnings you and Lady Baanu have given them. The chaos witch, Magdalena, openly plots to corrupt and undermine the sanctity of the church despite knowing nothing about it. Violet is simultaneously self-important and self-sacrificing—a martyr without a cause who disrespects the beliefs of others without having any of her own."

"Geez," Allison mutters. "Tell us how you really feel."

"I am," I reply bitterly. "Allison—the one you know and like, the 'face' of the trio. She is the most dangerous of all."

"Wait, what?!" she squawks. "What about Maggie?!"

"She is a liar," I continue, ignoring her. "She may not often utter falsehoods, but the truths she offers are only the ones she thinks you want to hear. Her every move has been a deliberate ploy to gain your affection and sympathy. She is manipulating you—and me, for that matter—all of us, and we are falling for it. Reflect on that before it's too late. Some decisions cannot be unmade, and those decisions often unmake us."

Draga and Lady Baanu both stare at me for a long moment before Draga simply nods. "Thank you for your candor, Miss Evelyn."

"What the heck was that?!" I shriek. "Evie, I thought we were starting to get along!"

"We are," she replies coolly. "And perhaps we will in the future. But I will never stray from my path. The truth exists, no matter how fiercely you try to run from it. If you think my words hurtful, then perhaps you too should reflect on them."

[Level up!]

Incandescent Souls is now level 1.

+3 Power.

+3 Resilience.

+3 Awareness.

+3 Ego.

"Why the frick did that gain us a level?!" I demand angrily.

"Um, Allie?" Talla clears her throat awkwardly.

I round on her furiously, but then immediately deflate when she takes a nervous step backward. "Sorry," I sigh. "What is it?"

"I'm sure hearing all of that must have been upsetting," she hedges. "But perhaps you'll feel a bit better after a bath and some clean clothes?" she suggests, nodding towards the river.

"Yeah," I grumble. "I'd like that."

I'm still annoyed about Evelyn, but if that's how she's going to be, then so be it! War has been declared, and I will not rest until we are not only friends, but best friends! Manipulation my perfectly-shaped butt! It's called being a nice person, and I will fricking drown Evie in kindness if it's the last dang thing I do!