System Lost: My Own Best Friend

[Level Up!]

Savior is now level 6.

Firecaster is now level 10.

+6 Power.

+4 Resilience (Violet).

+6 Awareness.

+4 Ego (Violet).

Firecaster has reached its maximum threshold. [Upgrade] or [Fuse] the class to unlock further progression.

Wow, I guess playing magic-fire-tug-of-war (working title) with an extradimensional spider demon is a pretty big deal. Not sure how Violet got levels from that, but I guess we did kinda protect the rangers. Maybe there were also some leftovers there from when what's-her-face healed them. Does she count as one of us? She must, right?

I let Nipper slither his way back up onto his usual perch and give him a congratulatory pat on the head. It's tempting to reward him with a candle or something, but we've got a limited number of those and consuming the demon was probably enough of a treat anyway. Wouldn't want to spoil him.

"Right, let's get—bwuh..."

After all of a single step I get woozy and nearly lose my balance. My ankle twinges painfully as I recover—probably twisted it when I jumped down—and a trickle of blood leaks from my nose.

"Oh, come on," I complain. "I used my skills that time!"

I wipe it off with my sleeve and spit out some of the blood that leaks back into my mouth.

"Blood and acid, Al—I mean, Maggie," Talla quickly corrects herself. "Just how badly did you overuse that skill?"

She grabs my arm to help steady me, and I can already feel the gentle warmth of her healing light or whatever it is fixing up some of the damage.

"Dunno," I hedge. "Got other stuff to worry about, though. You mind if I just talk to myself for a bit?"

Talla's face screws together as she tries to figure out what I just said. I don't know how Allie makes it look so easy to talk in a way that she can understand. Does she even know she's doing it? Whatever, time to deal with the elephant in the room.

"Okay Miss Priestess, I'm unmuting you so that you can explain to us what the fuck is going on."

"For the record," Violet sighs. "You did absolutely nothing to suppress her. She's been yelling at you this entire time."

"Yeah, thanks for telling me how ignoring someone works, Vi," I deadpan, rolling my eyes. "I think I'll demonstrate it on you next."

Whatever her response to that is, it goes unheard as I turn my attention to our newest member.

"—ing me this entire time?! That's ridiculously rude! How dare you?!"

"You're not too bright, are you?"

"I am not stupid!" she protests a bit too loudly. "I may struggle with letters and numbers, but the Goddess blesses me with other talents!"

"Struck a nerve, huh?" I'm tempted to keep pressing on that, but while I'm pretty good at making people mad, without Allie here I don't really know how to use that. "Sure, whatever. Good for you," I say. "Now who are you and how did you end up in our head?"

"I have nothing to say to a chaos witch!"

Witch, eh? I kinda like that.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," I warn her. "But since you've squeezed out Allie for the time being, and only she can manage our main class, it's either me or Vi until we can work something out."

"Don't tell her that!" Vi whines. "Or say it out loud in front of the rangers, for that matter."

I glance up at Talla, who is studiously ignoring me as she helps me limp through the caves, then at Draga, who can't understand a word I'm saying anyway.

"It'll be fine," I assure her. "Now, evil headmate, I'm either spending my time talking to you, or figuring out how to use forbidden voodoo powers to surgically remove you from our brain to get Allie back—your call."

"My name is E'ava'al'n," she insists. "And if you must shorten it, then I will accept E'ava. Do not call me 'Evil' or any such nicknames anymore."

"No, that was—you know what, never mind," I sigh. "Common courtesy is for people who aren't trying to get us all killed, Eva. You can't treat us like shit and then demand our respect."

"Why ever not?!" she protests, sounding...genuinely confused by the idea.

"Are you fucking serious? I'm a rude bitch and even I know that you don't get respect by being an asshole all the time."

"You could have fooled me," Violet quips.

"Eat my entire ass, Vi," I reply. "See? Violet and I don't respect each other, but we don't demand respect, either. It's a mutual, amiable hatred. We have an understanding."

"Do we?"

"Shut up, don't fuck up my narrative!"

"How do you live like this?" E'ava asks incredulously. "All fragmented and incomplete?"

I bristle at the implication. "We are not incomplete! Some of us have roles to fulfill, but we're still complete individuals in our own right!"

"Did I strike a nerve?" she sneers, reflecting my earlier comment.

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"Holy shit, is this what it's like talking to me?"

"Pretty much," Violet confirms. "I'm kind of enjoying this, actually."

"Bitch," I mutter grimly. "The point that I'm trying to make is that even if Violet and I don't get along, we're still on the same side. You don't have to like us, but you do have to learn to live with us."

"I'd rather die than throw my lot in with an agent of Chaos!"

"Then why the fuck did you heal us?" I retort.

"I...um..." she hesitates. "I do not yet know what purpose the Goddess intends for me—but I know there must be one! It will be revealed in time."

"Has it occurred to you that maybe it was just an accident?" I suggest. "I don't know how the hell we ended up here, but it seems pretty obvious to me that we're not supposed to be here. We're from somewhere else—but you're not."

I pause, taking a moment to formulate my own thoughts. I'm sort of crafting this theory as I go.

"Something, somewhere, fucked up. Royally," I decide. "Wires got crossed or something, but the question is—are you stuck with us, or are we stuck with you?"

"What?" Eva asks, confused.

"What?" Violet echos. "Maggie, that doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does," I counter. "We ended up here, presumably by accident, but whatever pulled us into this world must have had an actual target, right?"

"I don't think that's necessarily true, but go on," she sighs.

"Maybe Eva was that target," I suggest. "And we just got swept up in it."

"Or maybe it was something else entirely, and we're all victims," she says. "Or maybe your wild assumptions are entirely off."

"The cultists said they were trying to summon Chaos," Eva adds meekly. "They called me a conduit—whatever that means. Then they killed me. All I remember after that was being trapped in an awful dream, repeating my death over and over again until I woke up here—stuck with you."

"See!" I exclaim. "That's useful information! So they were trying to summon Chaos, and then—"

Talla drops me, the sudden loss of her support sending me sprawling.

"Ow!" I moan. "A little warning?"

"S-sorry," she stammers, swallowing hard. "It's just—d-did you just say...?"

Oh right. Capital C Chaos is one of those super forbidden topics that Engie doesn't like to let people know about. Damn it, Vi was right, I should have been watching my mouth.

I pick myself up and check on Nipper—who's probably more used to us randomly flopping around than he ought to be and thus totally fine—and then glance up at Talla, meeting her eyes briefly before looking away.

"It was nothing," I insist. "Just some random muttering. Allie will explain later."

There. Crisis averted. Probably.

Talla frowns, but lets me lean on her for support as we move on. Now, where was I?

"So maybe it got us instead," I conclude. "And either Eva ended up stuck with us somehow, or since she was the 'conduit,' we ended up taking her place."

"We still have our own body, though," Violet points out. "And your theory relies on far too many assumptions."

"And it's wrong anyways, because I'm not a conduit for anything!" Eva interjects. "Chaos cultists are all mentally deranged. They took me because it was convenient, and only made up their excuses after the fact."

"Either way, we're stuck together," I say. "If your Goddess really did save your soul from death or whatever, I suggest you don't waste it by trying to fight us. I'm not your fucking enemy, but I will absolutely find a way to end you if you force me to be. Got it?"

"I don't seem to have a choice, do I?" she hisses in reply. "Either fall in line, or be destroyed. I understand your ultimatum."

"That's not what she means," Violet sighs.

"The hell it isn't," I growl. "This bitch tried to lock me away in our own head. Tried to kill me just because she doesn't like how I do magic. I'm being nice, Violet! If she ever pulls a stunt like that again, I will hurt her so badly that they will need to redefine the entire concept of pain before I kill her."

"I understand," Eva says tersely.

"Good! Now shove off and give Allie back," I demand. "She's such a sweetie that she'll probably insist on making more room for you as soon as possible, so you won't have to wait long."

"Fine. I don't want to experience this hideous body anyway."

"Who are you calling—and, she's gone, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Allison confirms. "For now, I guess."

"Welcome back, sunshine," I grumble. "How was oblivion?"

"Uh...normal?" she hedges. "It didn't really feel any different from any other time when one of you was awake without me. Nice job with the stalker, by the way."

"Yeah, thanks," I reply absently.

Well, at least it's good to know that she didn't suffer or anything. I'm still more than a little pissed off about having my entire existence threatened by some prejudiced rando that ended up tagging along in our head. But the thing is, I don't actually agree with Vi about her being an outsider. If she's here, then she's one of us. Maybe she hasn't always been, but have any of us? If I totally reject her, then it's the same as rejecting myself.

I'm so lost in thought about it that I don't even get to enjoy Talla carrying us up the ledge that leads back out of the convergence point.

"So..." Allison begins awkwardly. "Negotiations maybe could have gone a little better."

"I did my best," I scoff. "Nobody died this time, so I'm calling it a win."

"Right, sorry! I didn't mean to criticize," she says. "I actually wanted to thank you for trying to hear Evelyn out. I'm sure she's as scared and confused about all this as we are."

"Yeah."

There isn't much else to say about it, and Allie is kind enough to leave me alone for the rest of the long walk back. It almost doesn't feel real. We're leaving. Actually leaving this place, never to return. I keep expecting another stalker to jump out of the shadows, or an army of giant worms to come chasing after us, but after all that we're just...walking out.

Except Saban isn't walking. He's being carried out wrapped in cloth, reduced to a lifeless corpse. It makes me feel gross for surviving. We're only alive because of him, and he's only dead because of us. How is that fair? What was the point of it all?

All of this death and bloodshed, and it seems to come back to one thing. Reyna. The man with the spear. Why did he try to kill us? Nobody else was that jumpy, but the second he had even the barest hint of an excuse he came at us with the intent to kill.

In hindsight, I think the others with him were caught off-guard. Sure, they still tried to back him up, but the kid's gun wasn't even loaded, and they left the rangers behind. They weren't expecting a fight, so why was he so eager to start one?

Too bad the dead can't speak—aside from annoying priestesses.

We arrive at the doors—which once more open easily for Draga and Talla, making a mockery of Violet's desperate fight—then step out into the dimly lit cave where it happened. It's exactly as we left it, and no more inclined to give me answers than it was before.

I just want to sleep. I think Talla was right, now that we're out of immediate danger and the drugs have worn off, I can feel myself getting heavier by the second.

"Woah, you're leaning kind of hard," Talla comments. "Are you feeling alright?"

"M'fine," I slur as the world starts to spin around me. "Just gonna lie down for a sec, okay?"

I don't wait for an answer before passing out where I stand.