System Lost: My Own Best Friend

I reel back from Talla's headbutt, clutching my head.

"Ow! Frick!" I whine. "What the heck was that for?!"

She jumps to her feet and grabs me by the collar, looming over me and glaring like I've never seen her do before.

"You idiot!" she shouts. "You could have gotten us all killed!"

"Wasn't blowing it up part of the plan?"

I don't know if she understands my response or not, but she shakes her head. "I've told you—"

"Enough!" Draga calls back. "What's done is done. Now help me free Saban."

"We will talk about this later," Talla hisses, still glowering.

She releases me and storms over to Draga, while I follow behind, still nursing the bump on my head. She didn't hit my nose or glasses, but those horns are hard, and whoever was in front just now bailed in a real hurry.

I've got a few suspicions about that—vague memories of a dream that might not have been a dream—but I'll have to figure it out later.

My heart sinks when I see Saban, now illuminated clearly by Talla's light magic. He lies motionless, half-buried under a pile of rubble, with dried blood pooled around his head. I rush forward to help dig him out, and once we've managed to clear most of the loose rubble, Draga lifts a huge boulder pinning Saban out of the way.

"Pull him out!" he orders.

Talla and I each take one of his arms and pull his limp form from beneath the debris. Draga drops the boulder once Saban is clear, but he and Talla both have grim expressions. Talla kneels down and places a hand on his chest, then in front of his mouth, she pulls open one of his eyelids and presses her fingers to his throat.

I know what's happening. I know what she's going to say. The tears are already flowing by the time she looks up and gives us a tiny shake of her head.

"Wait, no," I protest. "That—that's not fair! He saved our life! I—we were supposed to pay him back! I was—we—we were—hic..."

My glasses fog up as I sink to my knees and start sobbing. Saban was the ranger I knew the least, and he could be weirdly hostile sometimes, but I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted to understand the surly sniper better, to see more of the parts of him that led him to save us even though he clearly didn't like us.

No, I refuse to believe it! We—we have that new skill! The one from before!

I dig into the options for [The Beaten Path], searching.

[Mastered Skills]

Candle Seeker

First Aid

Foraging

Retaliation

Retraced Steps

Strong Arm

Quick Sort

Where is it?! Why isn't it there?! I switch it to First Aid anyway. Maybe he can be resuscitated! CPR is a thing right?! Wait, poopy fricking doodles! I don't know CPR!

"Vi, help," I beg. "Use your skill. Please—we have to save him!"

Talla puts a hand on my shoulder and gently pulls me away from Saban, her earlier ire forgotten.

"I'm sorry—there's nothing we can do," she mutters quietly. "He's gone. It's—it's not your fault."

I look up at her with a grimace. "But you said—!"

"That's different," she interrupts tersely. "You've got a lot to answer for, but not this. Don't blame yourself."

That's easy for her to say. The rangers wouldn't have had to come down here in the first place if we hadn't killed Kiera and the others. I've made sure to remember their names—Kiera, Reyna, Goro, and Kellah. Despite what Talla says, I can't help but mentally add Saban to that list.

"She's right," Draga adds. "It was my plan, and you followed my orders. If anyone can be blamed, it's me. You two take a moment to calm down. I'll take care of the remains."

Talla has to practically drag me away, back to the half-buried crossroad. I absently note that the collapse has blocked off the Snail Path, then promptly stop thinking about what that means for the near future. A waterskin is shoved into my hands, and I look up to see Talla staring down at me with a hand on her hip and a complicated expression.

"Drink," she insists. "You're probably still a little high on the tincture's effects, but when it wears off you're going to crash hard."

I actually feel fine. Shaken, obviously, and still trying my best not to freak out about Saban any more than I already have. I don't feel like I'm on anything, and I think it's because of that weird skill from earlier. Instead of saying any of that, I just follow her instructions and take a drink of water. It does help, a little.

Talla sits down across from me and sighs. "So that's what it looks like, huh?"

I cock my head and blink at her. "What do you mean?"

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"I've been with this team for a while, but it's not my first," she explains. "I've lost teammates before. It's always hard, especially as a healer. Draga won't blame me—he's good like that—but not everyone is so generous."

There's not much I can say, so I just keep sipping water and listen as she goes on.

"The first time, I almost quit," she says wistfully. "I'm not like a priestess. Most of my healing skills are slow, and while I can stop bleeding fast, my closest equivalent to your Revitalization skill has a much higher cost.

"My first team didn't get that. They expected more out of me than I could give them. The leader was convinced that having a healer on the team made her worth a higher tier commission. I was still new, and she was so confident and eager that I just went along with it. I figured she knew what she was doing."

She scuffs the dirt with a hoof and sighs. "It didn't help that she kept talking me up. Calling me a miracle worker, a genius—it was great. Until it wasn't. Someone got hurt too badly for me to fix, and despite my best efforts, they didn't make it. I blamed myself, and so did the team leader. She still does, in fact. That's why my commission is still only tier one, and I'm stuck working with Draga."

"And what's wrong with that?" the ranger comments, joining us with Saban's body wrapped in cloth and slung over his shoulder.

"Nothing," Talla admits with a small chuckle. "But I was a different girl back then. The kind that couldn't imagine working under a man. If I'm being perfectly honest, it still bothers me a little."

"I've noticed," he replies drily, gently laying Saban down on the ground. "But I suppose I'm glad you can look past your prejudice. Lady Mira's a moron anyway—you deserve better."

I feel very out of place in this conversation all of a sudden. A lot of history just flew past my head, and I have no context for any of it.

"The point is, I've been where you are now," Talla concludes. "And as much as I wish it didn't, it does get easier. It isn't your fault."

Tears well up in my eyes again, and I draw my knees to my chest. How can they not blame me? How are they so kind to a total stranger? How...how can I understand what they're saying?

The thought is so distracting that for a moment, it overwhelms my grief and guilt. Maggie's not awake right now—the spell isn't active. It hasn't been since I woke up, but I've understood every last word the rangers have said. Between that and the mystery headmate—what the heck is going on?!

"That's right," Draga agrees, ignorant of my conundrum. "That said, we do need to take accountability. Time to debrief."

Talla frowns, but doesn't argue this time. Draga himself strikes me as the sort of person who deals with grief by keeping his chin up and focusing on the here and now. Staying in his professional team-leader persona keeps him safe from his own feelings for now.

"Normally I'd start at the beginning, but we have an issue that needs to be addressed immediately," Draga sighs, turning to me. "Allie, that new skill of yours—it is new, right? You leveled up after the battle and fused your classes? Please tell me you haven't been holding that out on us this entire time."

Talla narrows her eyes and eyes me with naked suspicion. Fricking frack! It's not what either of them thinks, but I don't actually know how to explain it. I'll start with Talla.

"Not that," I say simply. "It's not Maggie."

She purses her lips, but accepts my words with a nod. "She says it wasn't chaos magic."

Draga blinks. "That's a strange thing to say, and also not what I asked."

"Sorry," Talla interrupts. "What are we actually talking about right now? I don't know what happened before I woke up."

"Allie healed us both," Draga explains. "And probably herself, too. She was commendably swift about it, and even triaged you."

He saw all that? Wait, did I see all that? My memory of waking up is kind of hazy.

Talla's eyes widen with alarm. "You used Revitalization three times?!" she gasps. "Blood and acid, Allie—I don't know if it's possible for you to eat enough to make up for the lost energy before it kills you."

"It wasn't that skill," Draga clarifies. "My leg was snapped clean in half and she fixed it like that," he snaps his fingers for emphasis. "No exhaustion, no scarring, good as new. Like it never happened."

Her expression shifts to an entirely different sort of alarm now, terrified of me, instead of for me. "What?! That's impossible!"

"Priestesses can do it," Draga says matter-of-factly. "I've seen it on the battlefield. Except that I somehow doubt Allie here is a secret member of the clergy."

Talla shakes her head. "Even among priestesses, that kind of skill is only seen at very high grades, or in extremely rare classes, the conditions for which are almost impossible to achieve."

"Conditions like meeting an [Angel]?" I hedge.

It's a bit of a white lie. I did meet an [Angel] and I was offered the kind of rare class she's talking about, but I didn't take it.

Both rangers stare at me in disbelief, too shocked to even bother admonishing me about [Messages].

"That...that might do it," Talla admits, her voice quavering. "But then you did already have that skill? Is—" she glances at Draga, biting her lip anxiously, then goes on. "Is that why you refused to show me your last class?"

"No," I shake my head emphatically. "I didn't! I still don't. I don't know how I did it. That...wasn't me. Wasn't us."

That last part is just for Talla, since Draga doesn't have the context to understand. To his credit, he's not pressing either of us for details either.

"You mean there's another—?" Talla trails off and runs a hand through her hair. "Blood and acid, Allie, you don't make anything easy, do you?"

I stare into my lap and pout. "Sorry..."

As an uneasy silence falls between us, Draga takes the opportunity to cut in. "You mind explaining what any of that means?"

"Some of it was shared with me in confidence, between women, and I won't breach that confidence," Talla says, surprising me. I thought for sure we'd lost her trust. "But there is one thing that I have no choice but to confess at this point..."

"Is it about Allie being a chaos mage?" he interrupts, taking the wind straight out of her sails.

Talla and I both sputter helplessly in surprise. "H-how did you—?"

"She survived an encounter with a demon, broke through the sealed doors, killed Kiera and her bodyguards, and learned magic from scratch by herself in the middle of a dungeon," he says blithely. "I don't have your education, Talla, but I'm not stupid. I know what she is, and I know you've been covering for her—I've known the entire time."

Talla and I are both stunned into silence. I...honestly thought he'd just been accepting Talla's excuses.

"Frankly, I don't care right now," he continues. "If it helps us get out of this Goddess-forsaken hell hole, then I'm prepared to accept chaos magic with open arms."

His voice is cold, but his next words betray the heat boiling below his placid surface.

"My question is whether there are any other secrets pertinent to our survival that I ought to know about. Because if the secrets you're keeping got Saban killed, then I don't care what the church has to say about it, Allie—I'll be delivering you to them wrapped up the same way he is."