System Lost: My Own Best Friend

The rangers are tense as we prepare for what they call a "delve." Talla tried to explain it to me, but the long and short of it is that we're going to be exploring the convergence point. I guess in my case it'll be more like giving the rangers a guided tour. Although most tours don't involve risk of death by invisible spider demons.

I hate the fact that we're going back in there, but I do feel like I owe the rangers. Not only are we responsible for killing their clients—which puts them in a difficult position—but they've been pretty generous in their treatment of us. Thanks to them, I feel better than I have all week. The shadow of malaise that came with a lack of sleep or proper food has lifted, I'm not covered in filth and grime, and I even have actual footwear! Maybe my standards are a little too low, but if revisiting my week of torture is what it takes to repay that friendship...

Well, then that's what it takes.

After losing the spear, our only real options for weaponry are Kiera's stick—which Talla confirms is just a regular staff with no remarkable properties—or our knife. The knife isn't ideal, but I don't see the stick doing anything to a laser gecko, much less a rock snail. At Draga's suggestion, I bring both—the knife fits into our belt and the staff can be quickly discarded if necessary.

I really hope we don't need to do any fighting. Ostensibly, we're supposed to hunt the demon if we can find it, but Talla recommends that I avoid places where it might lurk and just show the rangers around. I don't have the words to tell her that it could be anywhere, but if previous patterns hold true then it will avoid us until it has a measure of the rangers.

Equipped with our shield, freshly-sharpened knife, staff, and my new slippers, I anxiously await the moment of truth.

"You with us, Vi?" I mutter quietly. I figured she'd want to front for this.

"I'm here if you need me," comes her tired reply. "But if it comes to a serious fight, it might be better to rely on Magdalena."

Oof. Using the full name and willingly deferring to Mags? She's really down right now. I wish I knew how to make her feel better, but Violet takes her mistakes and failures really personally.

"I'm just glad to have you with me," I tell her. "I wouldn't be able to do this without you."

"It's not like I've got anywhere else to be," she replies in a half-hearted attempt at humor.

I'll take it, I guess.

"We should take the whole bag of candles," Maggie interjects. "You never know how useful they might be."

I shake my head. "The rangers are already nervous about the ones we've got on us after you almost collapsed the cave. I think they trust us not to turn coat, but they don't trust your control."

It might be a little unfair of me intentionally using idioms, but I don't want Talla to overhear me talking about betrayal and get the wrong idea.

"Tsk, cowards," she sighs.

"I'm sure we can get plenty when we revisit the labyrinth."

"Assuming they haven't all been eaten."

I guess that is a potential concern. Once we left, something else could have moved in to replace us—I hope it's not the Stalker.

"[Everyone all set?]" Draga calls out, striding over to stand before the giant doors. I have to admit, they look slightly less giant behind his imposing figure. "[Let's review the plan—Allie takes point, guiding us to any significant points of interest. I'll be close behind, while the rest of our formation stays the same. If we encounter trouble, you fall back and join Talla to provide magical support. Don't engage in close-quarters unless you absolutely have to, and follow Talla's orders to the letter.]"

Interesting that he's putting us directly under Talla's command instead of his own this time. Maybe he thinks we'll be less likely to disregard her, or that we'll be able to communicate better. Probably some combination of both.

I nod in agreement, and the leader turns his attention to Talla.

"[Then without further ado, let's commence the delve. Talla, would you do the honors?]"

She nods, moving up to join him, then turning to face the guardian statue. I watch with a mix of curiosity and anxiety as she drops to one knee and gazes up at its featureless face.

"[Oh great [Guardian], I beseech thee—heed this faithful servant's request. Grant us passage to this place of power, that we may brave its dangers and partake of its gifts. In all the Goddess' names, I ask.]"

Contrary to my expectations, the statue doesn't move or visibly react in any way. There's no glow, no dramatic rumbling, no echoing voice. Only a simple pair of words that force themselves into the forefront of my mind—impossible to ignore.

[ACCESS GRANTED]

Then, the words fade and the already bent metal bars sealing the doors shut shift aside with an anti-climactic click.

Draga steps forward and slips his hand into one of the reliefs—which I now realize is a hidden handle—and pulls the door open with a casual ease that makes me feel cheated on Violet's behalf. We nearly died trying to get that stupid thing open.

"[After you, Miss Allie,]" Draga says, ushering me in with a gesture.

I swallow hard and clutch my staff and shield with trembling hands. I know I was just thinking about how I was prepared to do this if I had to, but now that I'm faced with actually going back, my body betrays me. Sweat beads on my forehead, the back of my neck prickles, and my legs shake, refusing to take so much as a single step even as I try to will myself forward. I already feel like I'm being watched—not the vaguely intrusive magical sense from before, but just pure fear-induced paranoia. Or is it? Would I be able to tell the difference? The Stalker could be right there, staring at us. Waiting.

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"It's okay, Allie, we're here," Violet reassures me. "We're not alone. The rangers will keep us safe. You can do this."

The rangers watch me impassively as I try to get my breathing under control. They don't press me to proceed, but neither do they offer me any reassurance or alternative. I have to do this.

I feel impossibly small. As though the doors have grown to a hundred times their size and I'm back in the Altar Room staring up at the [Angel], lost, confused, and desperate to be anywhere else. But this time, I'm not alone. Violet's hand rests on one shoulder, and Maggie's on the other, gently urging me forward.

"We got this," Maggie boasts. "Let's show that shithole what we're really made of!"

Part of me still wants to run away, to either turn tail and run or just disappear and let Vi or Maggie do it instead. But I can't. Don't think about it. Just put one foot in front of the other. Nobody is forcing me—I'm sure the rangers will understand if I tell them I can't do this. Or at least, I can convince them. It's not about them, though. It's about me. All I've ever known is trying to escape this place. How can I go back?

"Earth, third planet," I remind myself quietly. "Saturn, sixth planet."

It's not all I've known. I had a life before this world, even if I can't remember it. I am more than whatever this place has made of me. Maybe I can never go back to who I was, but nothing can take that other life away.

I take one step, then another. My vision narrows to a point. It's just me and the stupid fricking dungeon, and I refuse to let it win. The threshold is almost a physical barrier, like a heavy curtain that I have to force myself through. Then, with one final step, I'm here once more.

The world comes back into focus as I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. A heavy hand lands on my shoulder and I look up to see Draga smiling down at me. A gentle, sad smile, with an indescribable weight behind it.

"[Nicely done. I know just how difficult it is to face that kind of fear. It doesn't get easier, but it does get more familiar. You're stronger now than you were a minute ago, in a way that even the Goddess' greatest work can't measure.]"

Talla coughs awkwardly. "[Careful, Draga. That's dangerously close to blasphemy.]"

"[Bah!]" he scoffs, waving her off. "[You don't need a fancy degree in theology to know that the divine mechanism isn't perfect. Everyone knows that Power can't replace physical strength—why would Will be any different?]"

"[You and I know that, but some sects are more...absolute than others.]"

Draga snorts. "[I don't see any priestesses around, do you? Now let's get moving.]"

Their light banter makes me feel a bit better. I'm still anxious, but I made it through the hardest part, and Draga's right. I'm stronger for it. I stride confidently into the long hallway, then promptly trip and almost fall flat onto my face, dislodging Nipper from his spot on my shoulders.

"Oof!" I grunt, landing on my side, ears burning with embarrassment. So much for my big moment.

I hold out a hand to let Nipper slither his way back up to his perch, then look down at the offending rock. The floor of this hall is almost entirely smooth, except for a big circular depression surrounded by cracks, the center of which is marked by a...footprint.

My footprint.

What the flip? I don't remember doing that! Wait—was that from when Vi pushed open the door?! How the heck am I gonna explain this to the rangers? It's really obviously my foot, preserved in stone.

I look up at Draga who chuckles and shakes his head. "[We already know you had to force the doors to get out, Allie,]" he explains kindly. "[Even with the seal weakened and the locks damaged, it can't have been easy.]"

"[This does help explain why you seem to be so cavalier about skill overuse,]" Talla sighs. "[You must have forced an extra tier or two out of a skill to accomplish this at least. That must have hurt.]"

Well then. I stand up awkwardly and brush myself off, still embarrassed about just tripping like that.

"Not as much as getting stabbed multiple times by a demon spider," I retort. "We did what we had to."

Talla's expression softens and she nods sympathetically before translating for the others.

"[I don't doubt it,]" Draga says. "[Sorry for making you relive it. If it helps, we're as eager to get out of here as you are. So please—lead the way.]"

* * *

The Webbed Tunnel, as I once labeled it—confusingly separate from the Worm Tunnel, despite being where I first encountered Nipper's kin—is very long. When I came through here the first time, I was fleeing for my life from a horrible monster, so I didn't really internalize just how long. This is, apparently, not unusual, but with my [Inner Compass] skill active, it really throws me off.

[Inner Compass]

You always know which direction you're facing, and can faintly sense what lies down a path.

The first effect is fine—I know that "north" is still straight behind us—but the secondary effect also comes with a sort of vague internal mapping. I can retrace the path we took to get to the other side of the chasm in my head, and I know with absolute certainty that we've walked way way past it already. Except that I also know that the chasm is still way ahead of us.

Talla has already explained that the convergence point is bigger on the inside, which Maggie and Vi both have little trouble understanding and accepting, but it really messes with my spatial reasoning.

Nipper is a bit more active than usual, too, perking up and slithering around my neck and shoulders in response to some kind of inscrutable worm-sense. I'm pretty sure it's not the Stalker, since he'd be a lot more agitated about that.

"Smells like home, huh buddy?" I ask, giving his head a little scratch.

"He doesn't have a nose, Allie," Mags reminds me.

"Shut up, it's metaphorical."

The rangers ignore my chatter, and Draga doesn't seem to mind my distraction for the moment. They're more at peace with the long tunnel entrance than I am. It's old hat to them, rather than the scene of their living nightmare.

After an interminably long walk, we finally arrive at something properly familiar. I gesture at a melted hole in the wall with my staff.

"That's the Gecko Lair," I point out. "Where we hunted our first laser gecko."

First and only, I guess. We didn't end up sticking around long enough to do it a second time.

Talla takes a moment to poke her head inside, then scribbles it down before we proceed.

"The tunnel ends in a sheer cliff," I warn them as we approach. "About ten feet."

I end up having to show Talla how much a "foot" is, and then agree to switch to meters so that she doesn't think I'm talking about my legs. Annoyingly, their own standard for lengths doesn't convert neatly into either feet or meters. One le'e is somewhere around three quarters of a meter. It's hard to tell when we're both just giving each other approximations.

We soon arrive at the end of the tunnel, and I look down at the familiar twists and turns of the cave system that until recently was my entire world.

[Level up!]

Pathfinder is now level 7.

+2 Awareness.

+2 Will.

"Here we are again," I sigh. "Home sweet home."