Synth

“Avery still looks awful” DH whispered to TO as they left the showers the next day after training. “Are you sure they’re going to talk to you later?”

“I hope so.” TO said, but they were only half paying attention; none of them had been tested yet. TO was starting to wish that, for better or for worse, they’d be tested and have it over with. They were starting to tire from being on edge all the time, and from the constant worry that wore away at their mind.

They wanted to rest. Somehow it seemed like all the worry they had over DH would be easy to manage once this was all done.

Once they had all passed the examination. Once they were all relatively safe.

They had been deep in thought over this when a sudden poke to their side drew their attention. “What?” TO yelped as though they had been suddenly woken up. They looked at GiDi, who had just nudged them.

“Look; Avery is heading away from the cafeteria.” they said, “I could follow them and see if they’re ok?”

A sudden battle took place in TO’s head; they should keep GiDi nearby to make sure that they were alright. If something were to happen to them it would be TO’s fault. However, it was the middle of the day, and it wasn’t as though GiDi was going to be alone for very long or even have a chance to dig through the news.

And it would give TO a few precious moments alone with DH; something that they were discovering that they missed. “Sure.” TO said. Maybe GiDi had been right the other day; maybe Avery would open up more to them anyway. “Yeah, go speak to them. We’ll meet you in my pod, ok?”

GiDi nodded and took off after Avery as DH and TO continued onto the dormitories.

“I thought you’d want to keep GiDi a little closer.” DH asked, “Or that you’d want to go speak to Avery yourself.”

TO shrugged, their ears flushing as they considered the real reason they were alright with GiDi going off to talk to Avery. “Avery is their friend too; more than we are honestly.” TO said, “It makes sense that they should want to check up on them.”

“I guess.” DH said. They frowned as they looked over to where GiDi had run off, “Have you spoken to C12 about Avery and GiDi going on assignment together?” they whispered.

“Not yet.” TO whispered back, “I need to. I can ask C12 if they can recommend that they be assigned together, but they’ll also have an opportunity to ask to go with certain synths during their interview.”

“Right.” DH said. They were silent for a moment before saying “We’re still going to try to go together, right?”

“Of course!” TO’s ears flicked down with indignation, “Why wouldn’t we? C12 already -“

“Well… I just didn’t know if you changed your mind.”

Had DH changed their mind? Did DH not want to go with them? “I haven’t.” TO said, “Have you?”

“No! No of course not.” their ears twitched, “I just… I just want to make sure you’re still comfortable with it.”

“Of course I am!”

“Alright.” DH said slowly, their ears sinking down, “But… can you promise me something?”

TO reached out, putting a hand on DH’s shoulder ,”Anything.” they said. They meant it.

“If you do decide… I mean, if you change your mind, promise you’ll just tell me?”

“I won’t though.” TO said. Why would DH think that they would! If anything, TO was worried that if DH was uncomfortable then they wouldn’t want to be assigned with them! DH was either ignoring TO’s actions lately –They way they stared, the way they flushed when they were caught staring, even the way they were sure their ears moved in the darkness of the pod– or they were entirely oblivious.

In their mind, TO was being far too obvious to be oblivious.

“Just promise me.” DH said.

“Fine.” TO finally said, “I promise that if I happen to change my mind about going on assignment with you, then I’ll tell you so.”

“Good.”

“... And if you feel the same, I want you to tell me.”

“Why would I want to change my mind?” They asked.

“I don’t know!” TO snapped, their ears flicking down, “Maybe for the same reason you think I’ll change my mind!”

TO hadn’t realized that they had stopped in the middle of the hall; they only suddenly noticed that they were stopped, facing DH in a stare-down. TO turned away and slowly started walking down the hallway once more, followed by DH.

“I told you already that I want to be around you.” TO said.

“... Sorry.” DH said.

“It’s fine.”

They headed to their second meal time in relative silence, lost in their thoughts.

======

GiDi’s message came just as TO and DH were nearly done with their food. It was three simple words that made TO freeze up as they read it.

=I need help.=

TO showed it to DH, and for a split second they stared at the message before they climbed out of TO’s pod, soaring down to the floor and racing to the door.

“Do we know where they are?” DH asked as they ran into the hallway.

“No idea.” TO said as they started sending back a message, “I know which way they headed, and I’m asking GiDi now where they are. We can head to their general direction at least.

=Where are you.=

=Room 376-STF. It’s a washroom near the simulation room.=

TO grabbed DH’s hand and pulled them left down a turn in the hallway; it wasn’t the way they were planning to go but it would help them get to GiDi’s location faster. They held onto DH’s hand as they ran, their mind racing with what might be wrong, or what might have happened. They went through every possibility, every awful thing that could have occurred.

What if Avery lost their mind like C12 did and hurt GiDi?

What if Avery was hurt?

What if Avery wanted to be corrected?

What if, with their meddling, TO had just made things worse and now whatever was wrong was their fault as well.

What if TO had just ruined everything by letting GiDi go off on their own just because they themself wanted a few moments alone with DH.

They continued thinking these things until they got to the washroom and held their hand to the door. It wooshed open and as soon as it did TO could hear the sound of retching coming from one of the doorless stalls. They went over and saw Avery on their knees, doubled over and spitting grey-green bile into the chrome basin that was built into the floor. The automatic flushing ran after a moment, drowning out the sound of gasping and sobbing from Avery. GiDi was kneeling behind them, a hand between Avery’s wings and their ears down with worry. They looked up at DH as they approached.

“Can you help them?” was all they asked.

DH slipped their hand from TO’s, and went to kneel down next to Avery. They gestured for GiDi to back up as they took their water bottle out and held it out.

“Here.” They said, “Don’t drink; rinse.”

Avery reached out with a shaking hand, took DH’s water bottle, and did as they were told. They spat discolored water into the basin and the automatic flushing ran again.

“Do you think you’re going to throw up again?” DH asked.

“I don’t know.” Avery muttered.

“That’s alright.” DH said, “Take your time.”

TO wanted to say that they didn’t have time; that their meal time was nearly over and they’d have to go to their vocational training soon. They couldn’t say that though, not now.

Avery stayed on their knees, hunched over the basin and breathing heavily. They rinsed their mouth a few more times before they finally sat up, resting their behind on their heels.

“I think i’m alright.” they muttered as they passed the bottle back to DH, “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” DH said simply, “What happened?”

“We were just talking.” GiDi said, “Just talking and walking, and they suddenly got really pale and ran here, then they started to throw up.”

“I’ve felt sick for a little while.” Avery muttered, “Since yesterday.”

“Since training?”

Avery didn't respond, they just nodded.

“Do we need to take them to the Medical Bay?” TO asked.

“NO!” Avery snapped, looking at TO with a look of pure horror, “No, no I don’t need to go to the Medical Bay. There’s nothing wrong with me… Or if there is then there shouldn’t be. I did good! I passed I-” They turned away, their hands clenched into fists over their uniform. “I followed orders. I did what King Decon wanted me to do. That’s supposed to be good, right?”

“You mean in the simulation?” TO asked. Their only response was another quick nod. “But...then it was a simulation, right?” TO tilted their head, “It wasn’t real, right?”

Avery shook their head, “You don’t understand.” they muttered. They reached up and wiped at their face, “You don’t understand. You can’t understand.”

DH put their hand on Avery’s shoulder, “Then help us to.” They said, “Tell us what happened.”

“I can’t.” They whispered, “I can’t. You wouldn’t understand, and even if I did you’d despise me.”

TO felt so useless. They wanted to help, but all they were doing was standing there. GiDi had been with Avery and called for help. DH was the one helping them now, kneeling next to them and trying to get them to calm down.

TO felt like they were in the way.

DH checked their implant, and pressed their lips together. “Do you think you can go to your vocational training?” DH asked, “If you can’t, then we need to take you to the Medical Bay. MO-6 is the medical officer there. They’ll help. They tend not to ask too many unnecessary questions.”

Avery shook their head, “No, I don’t want to go to the Medical Bay. This shouldn’t be affecting me. This shouldn’t be bothering me. I shouldn’t be sick.”

“You are though…” DH frowned and looked up at TO, “Your training is in the upper levels. You need to get going or you’ll be late.”

“But…” TO’s ears drooped down. They were being dismissed. They weren’t needed. “I can help.”

“We’ll be fine.” DH assured them, “You go on. We’ll stay with Avery for a few minutes more, and if they can’t get to their vocational training then we’ll take them to the Medical Bay-”

“Please, I don’t-” Avery started, but DH cut them off

“It’ll be far better for you to be in the Medical Bay than for you to miss your vocational training. Or be late. Or go there and start throwing up in front of the officers.” DH’s tone almost took on the same cadence that MO-6’s did when they were dealing with a patient that was being troublesome. They turned back to TO, “It’ll be fine. But you need to go; it’ll take you longer to get to your training than it will us.”

TO wanted to argue, to say that they could be helpful here. They didn’t, They didn’t know how they could be helpful.

They really were just in the way.

TO nodded, turned, and ran off to their vocational training.