Synth

“Well, I’ll head to sleep now.” GiDi said as they put away the old combat logs that TO had given them. The three of them were working in TO’s pod before they slept. Given that they were expecting their examination any day, TO was determined to see that the three of them were well prepared. Keeping GiDi distracted with their studies and training was also a good way to keep them from digging through the Galactic News.

“Wait!” DH said quickly as GiDi moved to go to their own pod, “You… You should stay with TO while you sleep.”

“Oh?” GiDi glanced up, their ears flicking in confusion as they looked at DH, “Why?”

“I’d like you too.” TO said quickly, “It would be nice, no? I mean, You’ve been alone the whole time my wings were recovering because DH was helping me with them.”

“Besides, It’s best if TO has someone in the pod with them.” DH said, “They might have a muscle cramp in the night, and having someone around to help them with that is a good idea.”

“I’m alright with that.” GiDi said quietly, “But wouldn’t you rather stay with them? I mean, you have the medical training.”

“No medical training needed. If you take over tonight then I can stretch out a little while I sleep.”

TO knew that what DH was saying was just their plan to make sure one of them stayed with GiDi; using TO’s newly healed injury was as good an excuse as any. Still, even hearing the way DH talked made TO feel like they were just a problem to their friends. DH’s ears weren’t twitching with lies as they spoke either, so TO knew that what they were saying was true. Did DH not like sharing a pod with them? Did they do it because they felt they had to? No… No DH was the one who often climbed into TO’s pod.

Because they were worried about them. Because they had Nightmares. Because they had been injured.

“What’s wrong?” GiDi asked as they saw the way TO’s ears flicked down. TO shook their head and looked away from DH and GiDi, “Nothing.” They said, “I’m sorry if I’ve been an inconvenience. I’m sure I can be on my own for a little.”

DH snapped their head at them suddenly, their ears flicking with concern and confusion.

“No no! It’s not that!” GiDi said, “I’m happy to stay with you, injury or no. Just... well…” They glanced at DH and then shook their head, “Nevermind. I’ll stay with you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to!”

DH looked from GiDi to DH, then nodded, their ears flicking back and down, “Right.” they said as they made their way to the ladder, “Right. Well, I’ll go back to my own pod. Stretch my legs out a bit while I sleep.”

They crawled out, and gave a terse nod to their friends, “Sleep well.” they said as they slipped out of sight and into the pod under them.

Why was DH angry? They wanted GiDi to stay with one of them, and DH was the one who thought that it was best to use TO’s injury as an excuse in the first place! TO wanted to go after DH, to ask why they seemed suddenly so angry, but they knew they couldn’t with GiDi there.

A moment later, TO heard DH’s pod barrier close.

“You should talk to them.” GiDi said as they turned to TO, “I don’t know what’s wrong, but you should talk to them.”

“Oh, it's nothing.” TO said, feigning a smile, “They’re probably just sick of looking after me.”

“I doubt that.” GiDi said, and with a glance at TO’s ears they continued, “You doubt it too.”

“They’re tired. It’ll be fine tomorrow.”

GiDi shook their head, “No, you should-”

“I’ll talk to them tomorrow.” TO said quickly. They didn’t want to crawl down and talk to DH right now because that would leave GiDi alone and they didn’t want that; neither of them did. “I… I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

“You know that you’re not an inconvenience to either of us.” GiDi said, “That might have hurt DH’s feelings. They care about you a lot, you know.”

“I know.” TO said, “But we can’t go over it now. We might end up staying up for hours, and we don’t have that time. We need to be well rested because we might end up being tested tomorrow.”

GiDi’s ears flicked as they considered this, “I guess that’s true.”

“I’ll send them a message.” TO said as they reached out and closed the pod’s barrier, “In the meantime, get some sleep, alright? Hopefully I don’t wake up in pain.”

“Alright.” GiDi muttered. They crawled alongside TO, who draped a wing over them. Within minutes, GiDi asleep and breathing softly.

It was only when TO was sure that GiDi was asleep that they sent DH a message.

= I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I’m sorry if it upset you.=

The response from DH came back quicker than TO had expected; they had almost though that DH would be asleep and that they wouldn’t see a message until the next day. = You know you’re not an inconvenience to me. I’d do anything for you=

TO knew that. They knew that no matter what, DH would be there for them. Even if they caused DH more trouble than not. Even if they told DH how they felt. No matter how uncomfortable it made DH feel, TO knew that they would do anything for them.

= I know. I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. If staying with me in my pod all the time is uncomfortable, I’d want you to tell me.= TO sent this off, worried that maybe they were saying too much.

= Do you not want me in your pod with you?=

‘I love it when you share a pod with me’’ was the first response that TO wanted to say, but it felt like it was too much. TO worried that if they said that, then DH would catch on to what they had been hiding. ‘Of course I want you with me!’ seemed a bit much as well. They agonized for nearly five minutes before they finally sent their response.

= I very much enjoy your company; at any time.=

Maybe it was just because they were so tired that it seemed like it took a long time for DH to respond. Before they knew it they had drifted off to sleep and only awoke with a start hours later as the fact that they were waiting for a response from DH managed to creep into their dreams.

There was a message waiting for them.

=Alright; if you’re sure.=

======

“I was just trying to convince GiDi to stay with me.” TO insisted as they and DH ate in the storage room near the simulation room, “You could have stayed with me too-“

“It’s fine.” DH said as they finished their meal. “It doesn’t matter.”

TO glanced at the door, then to GiDi’s meal which they had left behind to run to the washroom.

“It does matter.” TO said, “I know you were upset-“

“Well… Do you really think you’re any kind of inconvenience to me?”

“I don’t know!” TO said, “I mean, you said you’d have a chance to stretch out if GiDi stayed with me.”

“Well do like to stretch out a little.” DH admitted, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t like sharing a pod with you!”

“And you only started sharing a pod with me because of my nightmares! Then you were there because of my injuries.”

“Because I was worried about you!” DH said, “Because I don’t want you to be in pain!”

Was that the only reason? Of course it was. TO enjoyed sharing a pod with DH, enjoyed having them held close to their chest, enjoyed being wrapped up in DH’s wings. Maybe that was because they had other feelings for DH and as such it was foolish to except DH to feel the same way.

“I don’t want to be a bother to you.” TO said, “If you want to stretch out, then I want you to be on your own.”

DH’s ears flicked back and dipped down, and for a long moment they simply stared at TO, silently.

“What?” TO asked, forcing their voice to be a little softer and more gentle.

“...If you don’t want me in your pod.” DH said, “Then just say so.”

“It’s not that!” TO said as they shuffled closer to DH. “I just don’t want to cause you problems! I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me if you’d rather be in your own pod.”

DH looked away, their wings wrapped around them and their ears down. TO leaned forward and tentatively put a hand on DH’s shoulder.

“...I know you just want to help me.” TO said, “I know that. I appreciate that. “ they wanted to add that they wanted DH in their pod, that they couldn’t imagine being happier than knowing that they would sleep in DH’s arms every day. That of course would be far too much. “I meant what I sent to you; I enjoy your company at any time.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

DH looked down, their ears flushing as their wings tightened around them, “...Even if you weren’t in pain? Even if you didn’t need me?”

“Even then.”

“...And you do enjoy it. You don’t just tolerate me?”

TO tightened their grip on DH’s shoulder. Tolerate? How could DH think that they just tolerated them? The question of how DH could have missed how they actually felt flickered through their mind again.

“I don’t just tolerate you; I love you, I already told you that.”

Even under their wings, TO could see DH’s hands frighten on their arms. Their ears perked up, but stayed a dull shade of blue. They took a deep breath. “I just-“

They were interrupted by the door opening and GiDi coming back into the room. They saw TO and DH; DH with their wings wrapped around them and TO leaning forward with a hand on DH’s shoulder.

“What's wrong?” GiDi asked quickly as they watched them, “You two alright?”

“Nothing to worry about.” DH said as their wings relaxed around them, “Do you think you’re ready if you get examined today?”

TO couldn’t focus on the conversation. They removed their hand from DH’s shoulder and shuffled away. A dull knot formed in TO’s stomach as they wondered at what DH had been going to say. Something good? Something bad? Why had they been speaking about just being tolerated?

After their training today, TO would try to spend some time alone with DH and ask what they had been about to say. Good or bad, it clearly made DH uncomfortable.