Synth

Avery lay awake in the bed as TO and DH slept, both of them chirping comfortably as they did. The soft, sometimes chaotic sound made Avery feel a little better because they had come to realize that neither of them have nightmares when they chirped in their sleep. Tonight, the two were ok. DH and TO had spent plenty of time alone together, and later the three of them had relaxed and watched a show. Honestly, lying in the bed, watching a show with the two of them, it was almost like back in training when they’d hide on the observation deck and watch shows on the old couches. If Avery focused really hard on the show, they could almost pretend that they were back in the training center when life was both harder and simpler at the same time. It made that awful feeling inside, that black hole that threatened to pull them in, feel less intense.

Shatter-sickness. The file had mentioned that, but they didn’t know if that could be the reason for what they were feeling. They couldn’t even verbalize it properly, but they knew that the idea of Kei, laying chained down in that tiny room alone made it worse. Thinking about them being drugged and left unconscious while transported through millions of miles of space before waking up in a strange place around more strange people made them want to vomit.

Next to them, DH shifted and stirred, muttering something, then going back to the soft chirping. Kei had chirped in their sleep as well, which was a surprising discovery to Avery. Moreso, they found that Kei chirped more than TO and DH did. Of course, Kei never had nightmares when they travelled together. They didn’t start to have nightmares until after Goretta did that procedure. After that, Kei’s nights seemed to be filled with relentless nightmares and the only time they seemed to sleep well was when they were heavily sedated.

Avery sat up in bed as they finally gave up on the idea of sleep. Reaching over TO, they grabbed their communicator and settled back into the pillow so that they could read until they fell asleep from pure exhaustion.

*”What do you read?"*

That was the first thing Kei said to Avery that wasn’t directly related to their work. Avery’s confession that it was all fiction didn’t seem to impress the other synth, but Kei also didn’t seem upset by it. There was only one time they had seemed upset by what Avery had been reading. One day, after eating their first meal, Kei asked what kind of story they were reading the night before and Avery answered that it was a thriller.

*"You should stop reading them." They said, their ears pinning back just slightly in disapproval”

*"You don’t think it’s something I should read??"*

“*I do not. You had nightmares while you slept. Perhaps it was a result of the material you read. Nightmares will prevent you from being well rested, and your work will suffer.”*

They hadn’t known about the vast differences between their minds. Avery just knew that Kei had noticed their uneasy sleep and had cared enough to inquire about it and look for a cause. Of course, that could have been nothing. That could have simply been them wanting Avery to be rested enough to do their job properly. They didn’t ask what Avery’s dream was about, which was good since they once again dreamed of that simulation, of running through the burned landscape of some faraway planet, chasing rebels and shooting them.

Just a simulation, that’s what they told themself. They still didn’t know if it was true, but they had to believe that it was. They had to believe that what they had done in that simulation was all fake.

Regardless, Kei had seen them. That’s what it felt like. They had been travelling for a period at least by then, and while Avery didn’t know how long it took for the whole familial bonds to form, they wondered now if that was part of the reason they suddenly felt for Kei at that moment, suddenly wondered if anyone had seen them beyond the training and stats, beyond the rigid, fanatical adherence to King Decon’s laws.

Likely not. It was then that Avery decided to see who Kei was.

Kei hated being on their own; they seemed on edge whenever Avery chose to read their files in solitude, rather than do so near Kei.

Kei needed direction. The slightest variation on their daily tasks would throw them off, sparking a certain level of anxiety in them until they contacted HUR-1 for guidance, or until Avery gently suggested a change of schedule as a question, and Kei accepted it. Of course, Avery could never take over, never change the schedule for Kei. That would have gone against the chain of command.

Kei hated to be idle. That was something they and TO had in common, but TO was more obvious about their dislike. Still, it was easy enough to see in Kei. Once, they had to reduce their power to minimal while riding out a solar-storm which hit them unexpectedly. For a few hours, they had to sit strapped to the chairs as the gravity was off and they couldn’t even use their chips or communicators while. This was the only time they saw more obvious emotion from Kei: anxiety, fear, and anger.

Now they were once more trapped and idle, only this time they were alone. It wasn’t fair: Kei had been alone longer than any of them after the insurgents caught them. Being locked up in the old prisons underground hadn’t done them any good: they still couldn’t understand why Kei had bitten off their finger like that! No, everything that was happening was breaking Kei.

The procedure was supposed to free them, right?

The last several paragraphs of their file slipped through Avery’s mind like water, and they were left with no memory of what they read, and they abandoned the attempt to read while their thoughts swirled in their head. They had convinced Kei to have the procedure done. They did it for Kei, right? So they wouldn’t be trapped and isolated. They did it so Kei could spend time with them, and DH, and GiDi, and TO, and maybe the others would see Kei as well. Maybe, once Kei’s mind settled, things would be different.

Avery wanted them to be different. Had they convinced Kei to undergo the procedure for their own good… Or because it was what Avery wanted?

Tomorrow, it would be worse. Tomorrow, they’d be put into a medicated coma. Their emotions were so raw and fierce right now that Avery couldn’t imagine how scared they had to be.

Scared, Trapped, Idle, Alone. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t Kei’s fault they were like this.

They didn’t even think about the consequences when they carefully detangled themself from the others and pulled on the clothes they had worn the day before. Winding their way down the sewer tunnels to the room that held Kei was an automatic action, and they didn’t question it until they got to the door. Thoughts of how Kei was suffering quickly overwhelmed the moment of hesitance they felt then, and then they opened the door.

Kei was awake. That didn’t surprise Avery; even if they had managed to get to sleep despite the circumstances, they wouldn’t have stayed asleep for long once the nightmares hit them. The dried tears across their cheeks didn’t surprise them either; what else could they expect Kei to do when they were bound and helpless like this?

“What.” They hissed at Avery, “What do you want? Are you here to drug me yourself this time?”

“I tried to convince them not to drug you...” they said. “I really did.”

“And yet, you failed.” Kei snapped as they strained against the straps that held them down. “Now, thanks to you, I’m going to be drugged, and shipped off to a disconnected fragment of the galaxy with no way to contact HUR-1, or ARK-1, or *anyone* of importance.”

“Once we get to... well, once we’re safe, you can escape... if you want.” They said, their ears dipping as they spoke. “I’d rather if you didn’t.. but I understand if-“

“You understand nothing.” They said, once more straining against their straps. “You used me.”

Avery’s ears went down in horror, their eyes grew wide. “I didn’t!” They protested. “I never-“

“You wanted me to be like your little friends, didn’t you?” They spat. “You convinced me I’d be as good as TO, that having a polished, refined mind was holding me back!”

Avery’s ears dipped. “TO’s mind is why they are like they are.” Avery said without looking at Kei, “How they can think up the things they do-“

“Perhaps, but you didn’t care about that, did you?” they strained again, drawing their claws. It was useless, though. They couldn’t reach anything. “You thought that procedure would make me like them, and that’s what you wanted. You didn’t care what I wanted, otherwise you would have helped get back to King Decon long ago.”

“I couldn’t.” They said.

“You didn’t even try.” Kei hissed, “Because it wasn’t what you wanted, wasn’t what your friends wanted. What about what I wanted?”

Avery didn’t have any suitable response to that. Yes, there were many arguments they could make as to why they shouldn’t be under King Decon’s control, but if that’s what Kei wanted, then should they have helped Kei get back?

No. it was dangerous. They shook their head and looked back at Kei, their eyes landing on their good hand which had cuts all over the palm. Clearly, Kei had tried to scratch at the straps in an effort to get free. The blood was still wet, so Avery knew that their latest efforts were recent.

Sighing, they got up and took one of the sanitary wipes from nearby, and dabbed at the wounds. “You shouldn’t do this. You could get an infection”

“*Of course I could; I’m in a fucking sewer*”

Avery winced: Kei never cursed before, but now they sometimes rattled off awful things and each time, it shocked Avery. They and been calmer before their first escape attempt, and even occasionally came off as somewhat friendly once the wild mood swings had subsided. The bouts of crying and screaming which suddenly shifted into a strange, manic laughter had been disconcerting enough, but the pure rage they held when they saw TO? That left Avery with this off sense of unreality.

“... I’m sorry.” Avery said as they gently wiped at the blood. They were cautious at first, since Kei could have hit their hands with their claws, but after a moment, they relaxed, retracted their claws, and simply lay on the bed, glaring at the wall.

“... Are you really?” They asked after a long silence.

“I am.” Avery said.

“…Then take off the restraints.”

Avery froze, their ears flicking back in horror. “I… I can’t do that, Kei. If I let you go, then you could tell-“

“Obviously, I’m not asking you to free me properly.” They huffed, “I know you can’t do that. I’m not an idiot.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“Just take off the restraints, even for a few minutes. I just…” They stopped, their breath shuddering as their ears flicked back, “I want to move. I want to have control of my own fucking body for a few minutes before I get drugged and shipped off like cargo.”

Avery’s ears relaxed. Still, they didn’t move to touch the restraints. If TO was here, Avery knew they’d be screaming at them not to listen. It was a trick, they’d say. Kei would use the opportunity to escape, to try to stop them all, or hurt them, or report them or something.

“… I want to.” Avery said. “I do. I know you hate being trapped like this.” They glanced away as they caught the way Kei’s ears burned a blotchy blue. “But… you know you’re dangerous, right?”

“No more than you.” Kei said. “Perhaps less, since your friends have kept me strapped down like this.”

Avery had never gone up against Kei in combat, so they didn’t know how they would manage in a fight. Still, Kei was right; they were likely far less dangerous now with an injured hand and the lingering remains of painkillers and sedatives in their body. It had only been in the last day or so that they began to eat properly once more, so they were perhaps still weakened from temporary malnourishment.

“... You won’t try to escape?” Avery asked. “You won’t run, or hurt me, or any of my friends.”

“No, I just want to stretch, to use the latrine under my own power, and to stand upright for a few minutes before I lose full control of my body.”

Avery flicked their eyes to the computer in the corner for a moment before looking back at Kei. “Say it.” They said, watching Kei’s ears carefully, “Say specifically that you won’t hurt anyone, that you won’t make any attempt to escape.”

“If you let me go, I won’t hurt a single creature on this awful planet, and I won’t make any attempt to escape. I just want five minutes where I’m not strapped down to this bed.”

There wasn’t a flicker of deceit in Kei’s ears.

Avery sighed, then stood up and went to the computer in the corner of the room. The straps were locked by a key-code which they had seen Goretta type in several times already, so that was easy enough to do.

they heard a click behind them as the straps released.

“I’m sorry.” Avery said, “I shouldn’t have-“

The words fell from their lips as they turned, and saw Kei lunge at them with their good hand, claws drawn. A jolt of fear ran through Avery, but their training took over, and they easily blocked the claw.

They didn’t notice the cold flash of metal coming from the side. They had paid no attention to Kei’s injured hand until it pressed a sharp, icy pain against their neck. The heat of Kei’s skin was a painful contrast to the cold, which only lasted a second before it exploded in heat and pain, before the blood poured from their neck and onto the floor. Avery stumbled back, a hand up to their neck where they felt the needle still sticking out of their skin.

“... You lied.”

They fell backwards, the world fading in a dizzying spin of pain and confusion until they felt one more pain; a vicious smack against the back of their head.