Synth

As TO hit the floor, it was like all the pain suddenly hit them, as though the pain had simply been delayed by the sudden shock and had doubled out of spite for how long it had to wait to be perceived. A ragged, animal cry tore from tore from TO’s voice as they felt the pain in their knee, the explosion of bone and blood-

Bone and blood and bone and blood and bone and blood

-as their mangled knee smacked against the floor. The pain was so bad that other things that should have hurt, their shoulder striking the stone floor and their good ankle twisting and bending under them as they fell, didn’t even register. The roar of their heart deafened them momentarily, and while they could tell that Kei was speaking, they had no idea what they were saying.

The world around them didn’t exist, only the pain in their knee did, slowly turning from an explosion to a raging fire. It exploded again with the sudden movement as Kei turned them on their back. It was that pain linked with the movement which reconnected them with the real world.

They felt Kei pull off the band with their chip from around their wrist. A part of their mind told them to shout and fight and take their chip back, but the pain was paralyzing, and all they could manage was a pathetic whimper.

*Serotonin and adrenaline. Common phrases used for hormones in most species to regulate and control the nervous system.*

They were supposed to breathe. They didn’t even think about it, but their training had ingrained it in their mind, and the slow, steady, breaths began automatically. Inhale-one-two-three-four-five. Hold-one-two-three-four-give. Exhale-one-two-three-four-five.

*When exposed to intense pain, these hormones can lead to your survival. Of course, they can also cause you to act erratically.*

The words from their training filtered through the pain, as though their mind had put on a show of their memories to distract them. Serotonin. Adrenaline. Those things were supposed to help with this, to limit the pain and make them able to function.

*In extreme cases, we have observed even civilians to gain increased strength, and suffer unthinkable pain thanks to adrenaline alone, while serotonin can block some sensations of pain.*

Was serotonin blocking pain right now? They hoped not, because if it was, that meant that the genuine pain was even worse than this.

They had to do something. The pain might fade off slightly, but it wouldn’t go away unless they did something. With a whimper, they opened their eyes and looked around, but their vision had doubled, and everything appeared blurry. Even so, they were certain they saw Kei release Lake from the zip ties and drag them to the door. Something was said, but TO couldn’t hear properly. They brought a shaking hand to their head and felt their ear to see if Kei had covered them. They hadn’t.

*In such a situation, your survival becomes a matter of pure willpower. Pain can paralyze you, or it can make you do things you never thought you could. The only training we can offer are the breathing exercises and the best advice we can give is to think of your duty to King Decon. Use your loyalty and devotion to Him to pull yourself through the pain and continue your duty.

TO had no feelings of loyalty to King Decon, not anymore. They tried to think of DH, of getting back to their mate, but all they could think of was how grateful they were that DH was safe in the ship.

Still, they breathed as they willed themself to focus. They kept their eyes opened and tried to focus, to clear their vision, but it just wasn’t working.

“My knee is fine...” TO whispered in a shaking voice, whimpering as their ears twitched with their own lie, “My knee is fine. I just hit it. it’s fine. My knee is fine. My knee is fine. My knee is fine.”

Willpower. Maybe if they convinced themself they were telling the truth, it wouldn’t hurt as bad.

The door to the storage room closed and Kei strode over to TO. Kei said nothing as they grabbed TO by their arms and dragged them over towards the wall and away from the door. Another ragged scream tore from TO’s throat as their knee dragged against the uneven, ragged floor, their eyes closing as fireworks of agony exploded behind their eyelids.

When they were able to open their eyes again, Kei was kneeling next to them, watching at them carefully.

“That’s good.” Kei said as their eyes flicked over TO’s pain contorted expression, their ears pinned, low, and quivering in a heartbreaking combination of pain and panic. “It could be better, though.” They reached down to TO’s damaged knee and grabbed it, digging their claws into the sensitive, burning flesh. TO screamed again, a sob escaping them now as tears born of pain and fear formed.

“That’s perfect.” Kei said, “But just, don’t cry yet.” they brought their hand up to TO’s face and while TO couldn’t see it they could feel the warm, sticky blood-

-blood and bone and blood and bone and blood and bone-

-which Kei smeared over their cheeks. They remembered how Lake’s face had blood crusted on it, streams of tears cutting through the blood and creating a heartbreaking view, adding to the urgency that TO felt to get Lake away from Kei. Had that been real, or had Kei done the same thing to Lake as they had just done to TO?

Their breathing was growing shallow after the rough treatment from Kei, their head getting dizzy. They suddenly realized that they were at risk of hyperventilating. They forced themselves to take long, shuddering breaths, counting the moments in the way the trainers had taught them, and in the way Kei had been breathing when TO approached them in the cell only a few days ago.

Inhale-one-two-three-four-five. Hold-one-two-three-four-give. Exhale-one-two-three-four-five.

“Why.” TO whimpered. They wanted to shout it. They wanted to take Kei by the throat, their own claws digging into the light blue skin as they demanded an answer. The whimper was, however, all they could manage.

“You’ll see,” Kei said as they stood up and TO forced themself to watch the synth, forced their eyes to focus. They could do this. They had to. Their knee was fine. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. They had to find a way to power through the pain, to bring their focus back.

Kei took a few steps back and slipped the elastic band onto their wrist before positioning the chip onto the back of their own hand. It took a moment for the chip to calibrate, but soon a flickering image appeared in the air, showing TO’s messages and contacts.

“It won’t work,” TO hissed through Grit teeth, “Vik altered it… You can’t call Ark-1.”

“I don’t want to call Ark-1,” Kei said. They selected one of the codes, and a moment later, the screen came to life. DH’s face appeared on the screen. The image appeared reversed from TO’s perspective, and there was a large smear of blood on DH’s forehead. But even so, their mate was easy to recognize.

“TO, what-“ they stopped, their ears dropping as they saw Kei. their eyes went wide in fear and horror for a moment, but then DH shifted. Their eyes narrowed, their ears pinned right back, and their lips curled up to reveal their teeth. “What have you done?” they hissed, an ocean of rage showing in their ears, and their voice shook with the weight of holding it back. “Where is TO!”

“Right here.” Kei said as they turned the screen around and let DH see TO. Their mates ears dropped once more, their face paling making the smear of blood on their forehead seem all the brighter.

Oddly, it didn’t make TO want to vomit in the moment. Perhaps that was also a side effect of the adrenaline.

“TO! What happened? Where are you?”

“DH! I’m-” Their words transformed into another ragged scream as Kei quickly stepped on TO’s injured knee. Their vision went white, their hearing faded out once more while Kei held their foot against them. It took a while for their hearing to filter back to them, but they seemed to be just in time to hear the end of the conversation with DH.

“And of course you’re right. It is very much a trap. You’re welcome to ignore me. You’ll be able to leave the planet with the insurgents like the traitorous defect you are. That would be the wise thing to do, in fact. But, somehow... I think you won’t.” as they finished speaking, they pressed against TO’s knee once more with their foot. Another scream, but this time their hearing didn’t fade out quite as much, and their vision didn’t go completely white. They could see TO’s horrified face just as the screen flickered off.

“There.” Kei said. “Now… we wait.” they glanced down at TO, their ears pinning back as they glared at them, “However, I am taking no chances to chances with you.” They walked over to a nearby shelf, keeping TO in their vision as they did.

“Why.” TO managed to say again, their voice shaking with the effort of holding back sobs of pain.

“Why?” Kei stopped for a moment, glancing at TO directly for a brief moment. “You did not hear me?” They frowned, “Ah, yes. You wouldn’t have. You were screaming in pain. The screams were perfect, by the way. Very effective.” They turned back to the shelf, searching for something while at the same time keeping TO in their line of sight. “You have not figured it out yet? You’re so clever, I thought you would have.”

TO didn’t respond. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t. They hurt so much; it was all they could do to keep from crying out.

“Very well.” Kei said, “The answer is simple. It’s almost embarrassing how much time it took me to come to a proper conclusion about this entire fiasco.” They began poking through boxes. “I had so much time to think about the situation. First when I was in isolation, when my mind was still whole. Of course, that was before you ruined the perfection of King Decon’s work.” They lifted boxes, peeking inside, looking in them and under for something. “Back when my thoughts were blissfully simple, I tried to figure out how this happened to me. I did everything right, finished my training, followed orders... For a while, I figured that it must just be bad luck. My bad luck to get paired up Avery, who was close to you three defects.”

“We’re not defects.” TO hissed through grit teeth, “We are -“

“Traitors then, if you prefer.” Kei said as they opened another box. They pulled out some rope. “I was hoping for zip ties, but this will do.” They went over to TO, untwisting the rope in their hands as they looked down at them. “Now, if you struggle while I tie you up, we will have issues. If you struggle, I’ll tie your legs together, which will be a painful experience given the state of your knee. If you struggle too much, I’ll have to kill you. I’d rather not do that yet.”

Yet. The plan was indeed to kill them, just not yet. Not yet, because they wanted DH and GiDi here.

Kei knelt down and took TO’s hands, turning TO onto their side so they could tie TO’s wrists together. As they rolled onto their side, another explosion of pain ripped through them from their knee.

“As I said, I thought it was bad luck, and nothing more. But then you mutilated my mind.” They tied TO’s wrists together far too tightly, with quick, nearly violent movements. The rope bit into their skin, and somewhere, TO registered that this could cause them damage as well if they were tied up too long. Of course, it probably wouldn’t matter. “Do you know how awful things were afterwards?! Immediately after the surgery, can you imagine how it was? What they exposed me to?” They scoffed as they finished tying TO’s wrists. “No. You can’t. You’ve always been like this.” They stood up once TO was bound, “But for me, do you wish to know what it was like? Do you want to know what the aftermath of that surgery was like?”

Before TO could answer, Kei kicked them in the knee. The pain was worse this time, so much harsher than before, and TO thought for certain that they were going to pass out. Their vision turned white, their ears rang, and their scream ended suddenly when they vomited up what little food they had eaten that day.

“That’s what it was like.” Kei said once TO had recovered enough to hear, “In my head, constantly. A torrent of emotions, like a mix of fire and ice. Emotional pain isn’t supposed to have a physical aspect, but it did for me: Like a knife in my head, my chest, my stomach. And unlike you, I had no way to regulate it.”

With TO bound, they now turned their back and made their way to the back of the room, opposite the door. Carefully, they opened it and checked how many bullets they had left. They only had three, but one would be enough to finish TO.

“Crude weapons.” They said, “But effective. A multi-gun would be kinder and faster, though.” They closed up the chamber and sunk to the floor, sitting with their knees propped up and their arms resting atop them to keep the gun steadily aimed at the door. “There was a benefit to all that pain, though.” They said. “when all the pain had cleared, it was as though I could think differently. I could make connections I couldn’t before. I could understand the greater range of cause and effect beyond direct action and reaction. That’s when I saw that everything which had happened was, in fact, my fault.” Their ears lowered, shame and guilt obvious in them, “I was being punished.”

“P-punished?” TO said though long, heavy breaths, “W-why-“

“Because I should have reported you sooner.” They snapped. “I should have reported my concerns to the overseers back in training. I should have reported your deviance to Hur-1 and Ark-1 the moment I stumbled upon you and DH rutting like filthy animals in the emergency ship!” They stopped, wincing. They brought a hand to their head again and took more of those long breaths to calm themself down. “But I didn’t.” They looked at TO, “I allowed you, GiDi, and DH to survive and continue. Because of that, Avery has been just as corrupted as the rest of you, your meddling has ruined my brain, and because of that, I ended up here. trapped underground with Arkane’s vermin. If they had sent here proper synths in your place, the insurgency would be dealt with by now.” They glared at TO. “If you did the job properly, the lockdown wouldn’t have been imposed on the planet. If the people of Arkane must die to preserve King Decon’s kingdom, that is an awful loss…. But it will be your fault.”

“N-no, it’s not-“

“And… if it is your fault, then it is also my fault for allowing you three to exist.” They turned their attention back to the door, “So, now...I am fixing my mistake.”

It had to be the pain that kept TO from understanding what Kei was doing for so long. The motives would have been harder to comprehend, yes, but they should have figured out what Kei was planning much earlier. Now they understood and the jolt of panic that went through them and the awful twist of their heart was stronger than the pain in their knee, and stronger than any loyalty and devotion they had ever felt for King Decon.

Kei intended to kill GiDi and DH, and they were using TO as bait.