Sweet Sugar Candyman

#23

Kwon Saheon. 31 years old. A second-year co-pilot at an airline, and my long-time crush, who has lived next door since I was born.

When referring to a man named Kwon Saheon, descriptions like these usually followed.

“Kind,” “well-mannered,” “affectionate,” “gentle,” “handsome.” For those who knew Saheon a little better, it would be added that he was “playful” and “sly,” so it was only natural that Saheon was well-liked by everyone.

Perhaps that’s why Saheon was always popular. From the time I barely remember as a little kid, to the time I became accustomed to the repeated farewells with my hyung, who was striving to achieve his dreams, there were always people around him.

Looking back, girlfriends were no exception.

The educational policies regarding dating from my aunt and my parents were similar yet different. While my parents believed that dating should always be serious and cautious with marriage in mind, my aunt, while similar, leaned more towards the idea that the more you date, the better your judgment of people becomes.

However, just because my aunt and uncle had such educational policies didn’t mean their children followed them.

Chaehun hyung, who is 14 years older than me and 3 years older than Saheon, was quiet, studious, and the epitome of a “friend’s son” that mothers would boast about.

He was so focused on studying that he chose a major that required him to bury his head in books, showing no interest in relationships. I never got the impression that Chaehun hyung had any interest in the opposite sex or was dating anyone.

But if I were to ask whether the similarly different Saheon was the same, in the past, I would have said, “I think so,” and now I would say, “Well, maybe not.”

Now, he is defined by his age and playfulness, but during school days, Saheon was, to put it nicely, lively, and to put it negatively, he was a bit of a troublemaker. To quote my father at the time, he was often described as “acting out.”

In the energetic school days, such kids usually made their classmates laugh and were at the center of popularity, and Saheon was no exception.

As a child, I simply thought that Saheon was popular. However, it was only a few years ago that I vaguely realized that nothing is more dangerous than a charming man who is popular.

Just as Chaehun hyung was to me, I never got the impression that Saheon was dating anyone. But looking back, unlike Chaehun hyung, who truly had no interest, Saheon was just someone who didn’t tell me.

Among the various memories that raise doubts, the most memorable was shortly after I entered elementary school. First graders would eat their lunch and then head straight home.

Until kindergarten, I walked to school with my aunt, but now that I was an elementary school student, I thought I was grown up and was practicing going back and forth alone.

After exchanging goodbyes with my classmates and resisting the temptation to buy Pikachu katsu, I headed straight to my aunt’s house. Saheon had come home early because of midterms, as I had heard the day before.

Walking home under the blue sky and breathing in the fresh air was enjoyable. I almost ran, then walked quickly, then ran again, arriving home faster than usual.

I was out of breath, but I couldn’t hide the smile on my flushed face. As I was about to enter after typing in the password for my aunt’s house, I thought it would be fun to surprise Saheon.

Giggling, I covered my small hands to muffle the sound and quietly entered the house.

Since my aunt had developed a hobby of swimming at the community center and chatting with the neighborhood residents after school, she was naturally not home. For the past few days, I had hoped that Saheon would take care of me during his exam period, so it wasn’t unusual for him to come home later this week.

Saheon’s shoes were at the entrance. Just for a moment, I chuckled, thinking he was home, but next to his shoes was a pair of sneakers I had never seen before. The small size of the shoes looked like they could fit in the palm of my hand, and it seemed no one would wear them in this house.

Could it be my aunt’s shoes? I tilted my head for a moment but soon forgot about it. Ever since I was little, when I surprised my hyungs, they would pretend to be exaggeratedly shocked and playfully spin me around.

Recalling that dizzy yet fun game, excitement naturally bubbled up. I tiptoed quietly inside. The house was empty.

Where could Saheon be? I listened carefully in front of the bathroom, but I heard nothing. There were no signs of life through the slightly open door, so Saheon was surely in his room with the door tightly closed.

Being even more cautious to avoid making noise, I approached Saheon’s room, and faint sounds could be heard from inside. It wasn’t voices.

What could Saheon be doing? I grabbed the doorknob and tried to open it carefully, but being smaller than my peers, I lost my balance as I opened the door. The air inside the room was hotter than I expected.

“…Ah, shit…”

Saheon, looking startled, muttered something that sounded like a curse, but I had never heard my hyung curse before, and at that time, my awareness of such words was still vague.

Even though it was daytime, the room was a bit dark because the lights were off. Saheon wasn’t alone in there. Sitting against the bed mattress was Saheon, and next to him was a pretty girl covering her legs with his blanket.

From the color of her name tag, it seemed she was a friend from the same grade. Even in my hazy memories, I remembered that the girl was very pretty.

Sitting so close that their shoulders almost touched, Saheon let out a long sigh of relief and asked with a gentle face, “…Did you just get home, Mungmung? When did you arrive?”

I noticed that his school uniform tie was thrown somewhere, and one button of his uniform was undone. As he tried to get up, he let out a grunt and sat back down. The girl sitting next to him glanced at Saheon’s waist and smiled softly.

“Yeah…”

I mumbled something that sounded like an answer while looking at the girl next to me with a wary gaze. The girl, with long hair that reached her collarbone, brushed her hair back with her pretty hands and threw me a friendly glance.

“Oh, you’re really cute. Saheon, who is this? Is he your little brother?”

“He’s my little brother from next door.”

The girl next to me exclaimed in delight, and as the blanket covering Saheon slipped down, her short school uniform skirt was revealed.

The girl walked over to me and squatted down to meet my gaze. Up close, her face was even prettier. With big, round eyes, a delicately shaped nose, and cherry-like lips, she could truly be called a beauty.

“What’s your name, Mungmung?”

“…Cheongmyeong. Lee Cheongmyeong.”

“Oh my gosh. You’re really cute. How old are you? Five?”

With a bright smile, the girl seemed flustered, but strangely, I could only look at her shyly. Even after noticing my wary gaze, she playfully lifted me up and hugged me.

Around her neck, there was a scent like fresh peaches. Naturally, she headed towards the kitchen, rummaging through the refrigerator and showing me various snacks one by one.

“Do you want to have a snack with me? I brought some treats while coming here. Do you like snacks?”

“…I do.”

I glanced at Saheon’s door as I answered, but the door was still closed. The girl sat me at the table and fed me various snacks herself. After about ten minutes of answering meaningless questions while enjoying sweet and salty treats, Saheon came out of the room.

Hyung, who had been wearing his school uniform just a while ago, had changed into comfortable clothes for home. Saheon, who naturally sat down in front of the giggling girl, grabbed some leftover snacks and stuffed them into his mouth.

Hyung and the girl sat facing each other, while I sat on the side. The girl, who had been feeding me snacks, did the same for Saheon.

After eating the snacks, we watched TV and read books as usual. However, I was quickly picking up on the subtle differences that were a bit different from usual.

Saheon patted the girl’s head just as he did mine, but that action was done secretly when he thought I wasn’t looking. I could also feel him holding hands behind my back while sitting in the middle. I was aware of the occasional eye contact and small smiles exchanged above my head.

It was a trivial action if it was nothing. But that girl, whom I had met a few more times afterward, seemed to treat me as if I were their baby, taking me along with them.

When I went out with hyung and the girl, they bought me delicious food and took me to fun places, but whenever I felt happy, I would get upset by the teasing from their friends we encountered on the street.

When I looked up at Saheon with a dissatisfied face, hyung would just hold my hand and smile without saying a word, while the girl, who was also holding my hand, would playfully respond, “He’s our baby!”

Every time that happened, I would firmly assert, “Saheon and I are going to get married!” but the only response I got was meaningless apologies with smiles.

It seemed that girl was Saheon’s girlfriend. After that, she disappeared at some point, and hyung never mentioned her again.

Having been educated from a young age that dating leads to marriage, I often overlooked many signs even after seeing numerous pieces of evidence.

However, that didn’t mean the vague suspicions stopped. Saheon’s seat would often be taken by someone else after he ended things with someone he was seeing.