Surviving at the Magic Academy

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There are three things that make magic happen. It was a story I heard from Ojo while on the island.

“With enough magical power and the right knowledge, if you possess only these two, you can cast any spell.”

As he paused to gather his thoughts, he added, “So, why is there such a difference in power? Some people’s flames can burn mountains, while others’ can barely ignite paper. It’s tough to just call it a talent gap.”

In response to his words, I conjured a simple spell. A tiny flame flickered up on my fingertip. Ojo observed it and continued, “You lack talent for attack magic. It comes from a lack of will. When your intent and purpose in using magic are clear, that magic possesses a much stronger quality.”

He raised his finger and drew a magical circle. A gentle breeze flowed from it and overwhelmed my flame. This little flame couldn’t put up any resistance and simply extinguished.

“You don’t have the will to kill others. Whether it’s due to your past life or the nature of your soul, it’s clear that this has shaped your talent.”

If there’s no will, magic weakens. That was a lesson I learned as a child.

Since then, I’ve avoided fights unless absolutely necessary—even during university exams. My attack magic, in the meantime, has only gotten worse.

Perhaps that’s why I kept failing. I blamed it all on talent, but it might have been due to a lack of will, just as Ojo said.

This matter of will applied to the self I wanted to create as well.

The reason I started studying shadows was a gift from Professor Heisen—it was my own shadow. It mirrored me, moved, and even made dolls using my talent.

Pondering this, I thought my shadow had imitated me and gained my abilities. Hence, I sought to fuse shadows into dolls.

But through many failed attempts, I realized that my thinking was a delusion.

My shadow mirroring me was merely a configuration of a connection. What truly connected us wasn’t the whole shadow but the tiny stars contained within it.

From the moment those stars connected with me, they could borrow everything of mine. They simply lacked the capacity to handle it until they formed a distinct shape.

I had been misunderstanding the cause-and-effect relationship all along. The shadow wasn’t the important part. No matter how hard I struggled to give it shape, without the core, it would just flow away.

That was the reason behind the uniqueness of Professor Heisen’s shadow. Nobody could easily create such a core. That’s likely why even the powerful mage Boun is attending his lectures.

And that was my challenge.

Other mages would surely laugh out loud upon hearing it. Trying to replicate the professor’s creation—especially when I’m just a level-one mage who barely managed to grow a sapling.

But I felt wronged too. I didn’t set out to aim this high at the beginning. I just wanted to efficiently manage my magical power, but here I was, dragged along deeper into research.

It felt too far to give up now. I had to see it through to the end. With that mentality, I spent the last month.

Imbuing a shadow with a self is a kind of grand magic. Through my previous attempts, I learned how much magical power is needed to achieve this.

I also gathered enough knowledge on how to proceed. Magic should be established on that. But this self-creation magic has only been met with failures.

It’s probably due to a lack of will. Not that I lack will; how could I, enduring these painful days?

What’s lacking is the will to be contained within the shadow. I recalled the moment I first connected with my shadow. It was incredibly weak. So much so that it could barely be felt.

But it kept asserting its existence through our connection. Just recognizing it made it happy.

In the end, it shaped itself to resemble me. This exchange woven together, creating the being it has now.

Thus, I must plant the core into the shadow as a connector, then merge it naturally with the doll while embedding my magical power.

What would best suit that was something I searched for and experimented with continuously.

At the end of it all, I finally thought of the most suitable thing.

Peering into my chest, there stood a lone tree that had risen many folds based on my body.

It was my sapling. It had grown so much that it filled my entire chest, preventing any further growth.

It was during my time in the slums.

There were countless addicts who wouldn’t hesitate to cut down the trees they nurtured just to get drugs. Those things were perfect for magical reagents, selling at high prices.

In the slums, those mage trees functioned as a sort of currency. I too had a memory of once cutting down a tree.

During a time when I was desperate for money to set up a shop, I knew that pain of cutting it down all too well. I had sworn never to do it again.

This sapling was the most perfect core to plant into the shadow. There were no alternatives.

I took a moment for a deep breath.

All preparations were finished. There was no need for hesitation. I channeled my magical power and grasped it. Then, gritting my teeth, I tore it out.

A powerful shock hit my entire body. As magical power scattered, I felt something tearing away from deep inside me. It wasn’t just flesh; it felt as though something rooted in my soul was being excised.

My whole body trembled, and my vision wavered. The pain surged to the point where I couldn’t even breathe, but I couldn’t stop my hands. I pulled out what I had torn free from my body.

“Cough!”

A handful of blood accompanied a small tree branch that shot out of my mouth. My shadow, waiting, caught it. It planted it into the shadow prepared in advance.

Then it carefully set it down lightly in a pseudo-shadow space. In that strange magical power, my tree branch began to take root in the magical heart it had set up within the shadow.

Along with that, I felt something tickling my mind—a very faint signal connecting with me.

In that moment, I knew a being connected to me had been born.

Of course, its intelligence couldn’t compare to my shadow. This faint connection seemed ready to snap at any moment, and it possessed a very weak will. It must have been because my sapling was merely a sapling.

But even that was enough. I infused my will strongly into it. Our minds touched, and my soul poured forth towards it.

Through that strengthened connection, its existence was finally recognized. It nestled within the shadow, revealing a form that was quite different from before.

This being, half substance and half illusion, emitted its own somewhat different magical power.

Using that power, it instinctively cast one spell. It wasn’t any magic I had learned. It wasn’t of my own making either.

What it was using was the magic engraved on my soul—the only spell that had always accompanied my sapling, ‘Magical Deep Breath’.

It was attempting to breathe on its own through that. Its breath was very weak and unstable, nestled within the shadow.

I continued to transmit my will to it. It shook as if it would die at any moment. Yet despite that state, it kept breathing.

With each breath, it gradually began to stabilize. The shadow slowly faded, and only the magical heart remained distinctly, pouring out magical power.

Was this a success? I swallowed hard.

Watching this, I felt a very strange sensation—a feeling of being both separate and yet connected to me. It continued to breathe.

But until I connected it to the doll, I couldn’t know if this was truly a success. I placed the doll into the pseudo-space where the shadow was located.

Even though my tree branch was planted, it didn’t mean it was the master of the shadow. The original master was this doll.

My shadow, sensing the doll, approached it shakily. Then it began to carefully connect itself with the doll.

It had to succeed. I nervously watched every single step of the process.

I lost track of how much time passed.

The doll simply stood there.

No rejection, no transformation. The shadow was connected to the doll, scattering its strange magical power.

With the strong sense of release that followed, I shut my eyes tight. This much was a success. It was an unprecedented reaction.

But I kept my mind firmly in place. This wasn’t the end.

I cautiously reached out and took it out. The shadow was forming a sort of pattern entwined with the doll.

Suddenly, perhaps due to the new environment, the shadow began to oscillate frantically. It was expanding and contracting like it would burst at any moment.

I stared at that scene with tense eyes. It wasn’t something I could help with; it was the process of adapting to the world. I could only tightly connect my will to it.

The tree branch contained within the shadow’s magical heart began ‘Magical Deep Breath’ once more, causing the magical heart to start beating. The heart slowly began to stabilize the shadow.

As the shadow stabilized, it poured down to the ground. Then, it began to mimic the form of the doll.

Finally, the doll moved. It awkwardly swayed as it moved, sometimes stumbling.

It wasn’t me moving, nor my shadow. The doll was moving on its own. That action contained only the magical power of the shadow.

The shadow moved the doll, and the doll, in turn, led the shadow. They had entwined themselves, growing into a self-sustaining being.

“Hahaha!”

I collapsed right there, bursting into laughter.

My chest ached as if it was being torn apart, but I didn’t care. I rolled around on the ground, spitting blood as I laughed.

Success, it was success.

From the completed doll, I could barely discern a faint self. It was connected to me, yet, at the same time, it had become a different independent being.

A tremendous sense of fulfillment filled my body. I was so enveloped in it that I could hardly feel the pain in my chest.

I laughed, tears streaming down my face.

I didn’t know how much time had passed, when suddenly clarity returned to my mind, and I jumped to my feet.

I couldn’t stop here. I had to connect even more dolls, create more selves, entwine more shadows. My instinct screamed that out.

I had already gained confidence in my success. So I immediately pulled out the students’ dolls. The first target was Kashian’s bear doll.

It was the most delicate and perfect doll among all of them. If I could give it a shadow, I was sure I could handle the remaining dolls even more easily.

I bit my lip and ripped out the tree branch once again. The pain of my soul being torn apart hit me again. Grabbing my trembling mind, I handed the branch to my shadow.

Having perfectly handled the bear doll’s shadow, my shadow planted the branch inside it. In the shadow world, the shadow began to squirm once more.

Could it be another success?

With excited eyes, I gazed at the shadow. I poured all my mind into that faint connection. Inside, the shadow began to breathe.

As I placed the doll inside, the shadow connected with the doll; the same happened when they appeared outside. The tree branch, continuing ‘Magical Deep Breath’, successfully connected the doll and the shadow.

“Haha, ahaha!”

I could hardly contain my laughter.

All those processes were painful. But at the same time, they were joyous.

My tree was being cut down, lowered, weakened. Yet it willingly sacrificed itself. As my strength to tear it down waned, it willingly cut into itself.

Through this process, I realized one thing.

I had tried to feed my sapling more, to give it more magical power. Once I entered the university, it absorbed that abundant magical power and expanded to its limit.

But that was where its limit lay. The next leap was unattainable. At that end, I despaired, thinking that was my limit.

But through the process of removing the tree, I understood.

This tree was my talent and the embodiment of my will. Injecting some of it into the shadow was akin to cutting away part of myself.

But that’s what magic was.

The magic I had been using was merely a skill in handling magical power. True magic resided beyond that.

Reaching the end of magic to ascend to a higher realm requires sacrifices and resolutions far greater than what one aims for.

I connected with the shadow through my tree branch, and connected with the doll as well. Thus, in the process of losing myself, I achieved a shared existence with another being.

Amidst this flow, I realized that the essence of magic was defining the relationship between myself and magic. That’s where the will resided.

And just like that, all two hundred and one dolls started to move.

They awkwardly wandered around the workshop. Watching them, I smiled softly. I had no energy left to move. My tree had been cut down to the roots, leaving hardly anything behind.

But I could feel innumerable connections. These countless shadow selves led my almost withered tree.

The shadows were no longer just puppets that obeyed my commands. They had grown into living beings containing both my will and the will of the shadows.

The wills of these dolls resonated within my heart, creating an immense echo.

Countless wills began to break down my walls. They advanced, broke through, devoured everything. It was something I could never achieve alone.

The high and thick wall I had felt was as solid as stone crumbled like sand in that flow.

A powerful sense of release filled my chest.

The wall disappearing didn’t mean my body would reconstruct, nor that the tree would recover. My tree remained pitiful, looking ready to collapse at any moment.

But the shadow began to take root incredibly deep. It exceeded the size it had originally grown to and even transcended beyond my physical body.

The shadows grew endlessly, forming a colossal tree. Within it, the wills of the dolls were embedded like clusters. They spread countless lights within that dense shadow.

This was my newly sprouted tree. It had transformed, surpassing the sapling stage to the point of becoming a young tree.

Upon reaching this level, I realized just how shakily I had been handling magical power before.

Magical power was not just simple fuel. It became a medium holding my will, scattering the shadows of my tree all around.

Now I understood why this level was called a young tree. I had always pondered that mystery. Why on earth was the next step after a sapling referred to as a young tree?

But having reached this level, I understood. I needed to keep expanding this tree to build my domain.

I looked over my tree. Though a massive shadow had sprouted, the body itself was still unremarkable. I’d need to nurture it again.

My tree had been cut down. The almost completed new unique magic had vanished. It had been swept away before it could form.

But I didn’t mourn. Instead, new alterations in magic filled its void. Rather than ‘Magical Deep Breath,’ should I call it ‘Fake Soul’ now?

My tree’s shadow mingling with the doll’s shadow, forming new wills just like the sparkling shadow selves. This magic had evolved.

These were half-formed selves, so calling them fake felt appropriate. If I kept progressing and gained a deeper understanding of this magic, I could call it genuine then.

I realized I had tried to grasp far too much at once. I had hunched over the myriad things I had gathered, unable to let go.

Only after casting all that away could I finally move forward.

The mix of exhaustion and fulfillment weighed heavily on me. Feeling my consciousness fading, I shut my eyes.

“Alright, I can exploit this for another five hundred years.”

I could almost hear Professor Ilian’s voice ringing in my ears.

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