Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

Skyler took my hand as if he had been waiting for it, and the contract was concluded.

A faint magical energy enveloped us both.

When I had made a contract before, I hadn’t felt anything… but now, for some reason, it was clearly perceptible.

Perhaps the experience of using the scroll myself had some effect.

Anyway, I was the first to ask a question.

After I finished all my questions, Skyler would start questioning me, but that didn’t matter. My future self would somehow answer them.

“I’ll ask first.”

“…Huh?”

While I hesitated, Skyler seized the initiative.

I immediately protested.

“I’m first.”

“Alright. Then let’s take turns.”

“No, after all my questions are done.”

“…Fine.”

Skyler, realizing he was being unreasonable, quickly shut his mouth.

Trying to steal the initiative while I was briefly thinking, are all mages selfish people who only think about their own interests?

…Not that Skyler is a selfish person.

‘If he were selfish, wouldn’t he have killed me or stolen my eyes long ago?’

Anyway, the real question.

I feel like my thoughts and the conversation keep getting sidetracked. Let’s do this properly. Focus.

“What’s your relationship with the Mad King?”

“First of all, it’s a bad one—”

“Don’t beat around the bush, explain properly. You were the one who said you would explain it in a way I could understand.”

“Alright. In the past, I had something very important taken from me by him. But, even after losing the most important thing in my life, my body is still alive and well. In many ways, it’s a shameless body.”

“The important thing you lost is probably your divine body… right?”

“Is this a question too? Selina, I hope you remember that for every question you ask me, I can ask you one in return.”

“No, it’s not a question. Just a confirmation. The real question is something else.”

“In that case, I won’t talk about the most important thing I lost.”

“…Alright.”

I pretended to be confident, but the most important thing he lost was probably his divine body. I wasn’t 100% sure, but it was 99%, which is infinitely close to 100%.

Yeah. It’s the same as 100%.

I didn’t want to waste a question on something unnecessary, so I moved on. To the next question.

“The divine body you have, or had, is a ‘heart.’ What’s the exact function of the heart?”

“…Infinite magic.”

Do you know what I thought as soon as I heard about the ability?

Some people might guess, but the first thought that came to mind was, of course.

‘That’s cheating.’

Why… why don’t I get a cheat like that!

I mean, come on, I’m a transmigrator, right? I’ve entered a game world, haven’t I? Even if it’s a third-rate light novel, just give me a cheat skill!

If there’s a creator who made this world, if there’s a god-like being who sent me to this world, they must be a damn fool who thinks they’re being original by twisting clichés and thinks it’s a fresh story…!

No, anyway, I still have many questions left.

I can complain later.

Let’s focus on what I have to do now. Don’t do anything stupid that lowers my intelligence.

“What do you mean by ‘they will gather again’?”

“…The divine body was originally one. It was like the god left his physical body behind when he ascended to heaven.”

“And?”

“Even after the god left, the power contained in his body was of an extremely powerful kind. Thanks to that, it began to slowly gather again by a method we don’t know.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What part?”

“When did the god leave?”

“Ah, if I had to say, it was before the Great Spirit… so it’s been over 800 years, right?”

“The divine body was all split up 800 years ago, and that split divine body is trying to gather again? That doesn’t make sense. Has it never gathered even once in 800 years?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because the discovery itself was made recently.”

To summarize Skyler’s words:

The god’s body was found recently.

The god left his body behind a long time ago.

This means that someone found the god’s body… and split it up. And scattered it across different parts of the world.

Not enough time has passed for the god’s body to fully gather again.

However, one thing is certain—

“It means that humans who possess the god’s body will meet ‘by chance’.”

“Exactly.”

“My meeting with you… and your meeting with the Mad King…?”

“More accurately, it’s correct to say it’s the event where you met the Mad King.”

Now, most of the questions have been resolved.

There’s just one very minor… thing that bothers me.

“What do you mean by ‘we have enough time’?”

“Humans who possess a divine body are basically outside the flow of time.”

“…What?”

“They don’t age. They’re not immortal, but let’s say they’re ageless for now.”

I, it seems, have become a being that is not human.

Even though I didn’t want to.

Skyler looked at me.

And then, he spread his fingers.

Five.

“What does that mean?”

“The number of questions I have for you.”

“…Go ahead.”

“What kind of being are you? Well, to be precise… how do you define yourself as a being? I’d like you to describe it as accurately and in detail as possible.”

“I’m a bard.”

“More details.”

“I have narcolepsy, a clumsy habit, I’m easily scared, and I don’t really know, but I have strange eyes… I’m just an ordinary bard.”

“No, you’re absolutely not ordinary.”

Skyler looked back and forth between his hand and mine.

…What?

“Why?”

“Really…?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re absolutely not ordinary. What kind of person thinks that’s ordinary?! You really think you’re ordinary, so the contract doesn’t react? That doesn’t make any sense…!”

Should I be honest?

I think I perceive the existence of ‘me’ and the existence of this ‘body’ as separate. No, should I be more specific? I do perceive them as separate.

Thus, ‘the me with high intelligence’ is, for all intents and purposes, ordinary.

Therefore, I didn’t lie. I just stated the objective facts as I see them.

This was a variable Skyler hadn’t considered.

“Next question.”

“…Are you a split personality?”

“It’s ambiguous.”

Again, the contract didn’t react. Because I stated the objective facts as I see them.

Skyler won’t be able to get what he wants with five questions.

I’m not a split personality. But, at the same time, I am a split personality.

I must be the only one experiencing this contradictory state.

Can I simply say that my personality is split based on the level of intelligence?

My answer was ‘it’s ambiguous.’

“What’s the next question?”

“…Where does your memory begin? For now, I’m considering you as an experiment subject of the church, the Mad King, the Empire, or the Magic Tower. Do you have any memory related to any of these four factions?”

“This body’s memory began at the adventurer’s guild. The day I first opened my eyes and received a herb-gathering quest on the first floor of the guild.”

“…?”

“Why?”

“You didn’t answer. Memory related to them.”

“Is that the fourth question?”

“…Hah, alright. Let’s go with that.”

“Unfortunately, I have no memory related to them. I don’t even know what the four factions you’re talking about are yet.”

Skyler sat on the floor.

It seemed standing for so long was uncomfortable for him.

I sat down across from him as well. Similarly, my legs were about to reach their limit. It seems my body has a similar strength to Skyler’s weakened body.

Similar stamina and strength to a young child who is heavily injured, bleeding, and out of magic.

I felt a little depressed.

It took quite a while for Skyler to ask the next question.

He must have a lot to think about.

The moment when all your expectations and predictions crumble, and you have to admit that you were wrong. How quickly you admit it. Isn’t that the difference between an ordinary person and a genius?

It seems Skyler is a little closer to the genius side.

Because he was able to organize everything and ask the next question in just a few minutes.”You said ‘this body’s memory.’ Do you have two bodies?”

“…”

“This is the last question.”

“It’s ambiguous.”

Ambiguous.

Yes. The fact that it’s ambiguous is, in my view, an objective truth.

However, for someone with only one body, the answer “it’s ambiguous” wouldn’t even come up in the first place.

Even if he receives the answer “it’s ambiguous,” Skyler will be convinced that I have two bodies.

It’s a clever question.

“…Alright. It seems we’ve resolved all our questions for each other.”

“No, it seems like we’ve only increased our questions and misunderstandings.”

“That’s… true.”

“Anyway, what are we going to do now?”

“That’s what I want to ask you.”

Me… right.

What should I do?

For now, my goal hasn’t changed. Surviving and returning are still my top priorities.