Surviving Arkadia

I did not feel good the morning after. However, all things considered, I felt a lot better than I had any right to expect to feel.

My first thought on waking was that I must have a cold or something. My nose must be blocked and I’d slept with my mouth open and that’s why my mouth was so dry and I couldn’t smell anything.

I realised my tongue was stuck to my teeth, no joke when you have hyena teeth. That reminded me that I also had a hyena nose. I touched it, gingerly. It was way too dry and felt like it might be on the verge of cracking. I needed to get some moisture in me immediately.

I sat up and found that I was tucked up in bed. This body had never been in a real actual bed before. It was a small single and the mattress felt like it was at the end of its useful life but it was still the softest thing this body had ever laid on.

There was another bed in the room. Also a small single. It looked like it had been re-made by someone who didn’t make beds often. Between the two beds was a small table. On the small table was a ceramic mug holding water. Oh thank God and/or Gods.

I gulped the water down and only then started to wonder how I’d got into the bed.

I looked down at myself. I was wearing my underwear, kind of like the first time I’d woken up in this world. I looked around the room. I had no memory of it but it reminded me of a motel room. It was simple and impersonal. There were two doors but they both had keyholes, and one looked like it opened onto a balcony, so probably no en suite bathroom.

I scolded myself for being disappointed. Whatever the plumbing situation in Uln it was bound to be better than crapping in a hole in the ground. Surely it would. I made a small prayer to whatever Gods there might be in Arkadia that the situation would actually be better than crapping in a hole.

Before I could get any more wound up by thoughts of the plumbing situation, Jethro backed into the room holding a tray.

“You’re awake,” he said. “How’s the head?”

“Okay,” I said, because I truly did not have a pounding head. “But my nose and my mouth are so dry.”

“I don’t know many Beast-kin,” said Jethro. “Maybe that’s a normal hangover for you? How hungry are you? I’m already onto my second breakfast but I’ve brought enough for two.” He showed me the tray, piled high with plates of bacon, various sausages, mushrooms cooked in butter, and a bowl almost overflowing with scrambled eggs. “If you come and open this door for me we can eat on the balcony.”

#

I don’t think I’d ever eaten like that before. If I’d tried it in my old body it would have been a recipe for the meat sweats and spending a week on the toilet. Stick me in a healthy, youthful carnivore body and I have become the queen of breakfast.

Once I’d finished eating I was able to pay proper attention to my surroundings. Between the dark, the drinking and the focus on our pub crawl I hadn’t got to see much of Uln the night before.

“Did I embarrass myself last night?” I said.

“Nah. You were fine.”

“I don’t remember much. It all starts to get hazy about halfway through that wheat beer the Councilman bought. Did I at least manage to get to our room before passing out?

“Oh that was two bars ago. We left that bar right after that because they ran out of the wheat beer. The next inn didn’t have any of that beer but the Councilman was still buying and he persuaded us to try shots of this ‘Huntmaster liqueur’. You said it tasted just like Agnes’ Elixir.”

Jethro paused as if expecting me to say something. I intended to say that I had no idea what he was talking about but I actually did have a faint memory of drinking tiny glasses of something that had tasted a lot like cough medicine but was such a high proof that it seemed to evaporate as soon as it touched my tongue.

“Oh I think I remember that stuff. It tasted like if cherry and liquorice made a baby and the baby could summon lightning,” I said.

“Yeah, that’s the stuff,” said Jethro “You kept insisting that everyone try it. So when the bottle ran out the Councilman said we should come here because they’re known for their liqueurs and also the rooms are really comfortable. But you surprised everyone by not passing out as soon as we got here.”

I thought back to character generation and the huge, empty EXHAUSTION bar I’d ended up with. I closed my eyes and focused on my stats and there it was. It was even longer now and when I focused on it I was presented with a pop up list of all the relevant resistances that stopped it from filling up.

“Yeah, I’m kind of accidentally spec'ed for endurance,” I said.

“It’s a good idea for any survivor type,” said Jethro. “Not so good if you’re drinking, maybe.”

“I knew it. I did embarrass myself.”

“Not yourself, no. Soon after we got here you said you were overheating and started stripping off. Don’t worry, nobody was scandalised. Apparently it’s very common for Beast-kin to get too hot when they drink. I didn’t know that, cause I don’t know many Beast-kin, but all the bar staff knew about it. There was one young man who was a bit creepy about it and started propositioning you. When you said you weren’t interested he put his hand on your shoulder. The next thing I knew you had him backed up against the bar and you were shouting that if he wanted to get with a hyena bitch then he’d better bend over and assume the position.”

“And?” I said, terrified of the answer but desperate to know.

Jethro grinned like a, well frankly like a hyena. “And he got really confused, broke free and left the pub with everyone laughing at him. That’s when you said that you needed to lie down, right away. So I got us a room.”

“What happened to my clothes?”

“You dumped them on the floor, which was really dirty, but the Inn has a cleaner and she does laundry on the side. You owe the cleaner a couple of silvers but I thought you’d want to look your best for the Council this afternoon.”