Suits: A Lawyer Surviving TV Chaos

Because of his early departures and late returns, Martin, although living with Sheldon and the others, always felt like he was missing out on a lot of interesting plotlines.

For instance, now, after a busy day, he returned to the apartment to find Leonard pacing around the living room in a blue American-style shirt and corduroy trousers, looking visibly anxious.

The most obvious signs were the noticeable sweat stains on the collar, chest, and underarms—it looked as if Leonard had run five kilometers in that shirt.

On the other side of the living room, Sheldon was sitting at the desk playing on the computer.

"Leonard, you don't look too good," Martin said as he walked toward his bedroom, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. He added casually, "I must say, the cut of your shirt is just terrible. Aside from being loose and comfortable, it has no design aesthetics."

"Can you stop making sarcastic remarks?" Leonard's expression grew even more gloomy. "Martin, I need your help!"

"Can it wait until I've taken a shower and changed into my loungewear?"

Martin didn't turn around. "Talking to you in this suit comes with a price—$750 an hour isn't cheap."

"I've got a date with Penny tonight!" Martin immediately stopped in his tracks and turned back, surprised to see Leonard standing there fidgeting with his fingers. "What did you say?"

"I said… I'm going out with Penny tonight, and I need some advice."

Because of his mature demeanor and steady personality, Martin, though a year younger than the four members of the nerd squad, often played the role of an older brother in real life.

Aside from Sheldon occasionally teasing him about being a humanities Ph.D. who contributed nothing to human technological progress, the other three instinctively sought his help whenever they encountered problems.

Just like now.

Martin turned back and approached Leonard. "Are you serious?"

In America, you can casually sleep with anyone—opposite sex or same sex. It's just a mutual exchange to satisfy physiological needs; it doesn't carry any extra meaning.

No strings attached, no expectations. You can have multiple partners you're attracted to, and no one will call you a jerk for it.

Take Martin and Caroline, for example.

They've slept together more than ten times, but they never ask each other about their feelings or whether they have new partners.

However, if you're asking someone out on a date, it's a completely different story!

It means you want to develop a formal and stable romantic relationship—what we call dating!

Beyond just sleeping together, you need to invest your emotions, remain faithful to the relatively private relationship, and avoid any mental or physical infidelity—at least until the breakup.

To sum it up, hookup partners are just for satisfying physiological needs, while a dating partner fulfills emotional needs as well!

So Martin didn't care much about Leonard's escapades with Priya or Leslie, but when he heard Leonard wanted to ask Penny out, he immediately became serious.

He stood two steps away from Leonard, scrutinizing him up and down. "Okay! What do you need me to do?"

"How do I look?" Leonard awkwardly spread his arms, making the sweat stains under his armpits even more noticeable.

Martin could faintly smell the mix of deodorant and cologne.

Due to certain genetic factors, about sixty percent of Caucasians still have apocrine sweat glands, which keep their ear canals oily and make their body odor stronger, sometimes causing discomfort.

Ironically, apocrine sweat glands are the most important organs for animals during mating.

Think about how cats and dogs sniff each other's butts when they first meet—it's the same principle.

Martin frowned as he circled Leonard. "Honestly, you look terrible."

"I knew it!" Leonard dropped his arms in despair. "What should I do now? Should I go tell Penny to cancel the date?"

"It's just a date—you're too nervous." Martin shook his head and pointed to the bathroom door. "Go take a quick shower, just rinse off, and wash away all that smell."

"I'll go to your room and find you an outfit suitable for a date."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Half an hour later, Leonard left wearing a white striped shirt, with conversation topics for the date written on his palms.

Although he was still sweating a bit from nervousness, at least it wasn't as noticeable as with the blue shirt.

Martin shook his head helplessly, sighed deeply, and sat down on the couch.

"You sat in my spot." Sheldon, who had been facing away from the couch while playing on the computer, suddenly turned around and looked at him sternly.

Martin instantly jumped up and moved to the other side of the couch to sit down again. "Sorry, I forgot you were still in the apartment."

Then he asked curiously, "How did you know I sat on your spot? You didn't even look."

Sheldon turned back, his expression more relaxed, and his tone carried a hint of pride.

"Even though everything is machine-made these days, each cushion still has a slightly different sewing structure. This affects the rate and volume of air expelled when compressed, creating distinct audio frequencies and volumes."

"You're saying you knew just by the sound of air escaping the cushion?"

Martin looked incredulous. "When did you evolve to such a high level? Or is your OCD acting up again? Maybe I should take you to see a psychologist tomorrow?"

Many people have mild OCD, like feeling uncomfortable seeing a messy room or worrying that the door wasn't locked after leaving home.

Sheldon's OCD was a bit different.

What time to wake up, what time to use the bathroom, which route to take to work, where to sit in the cafeteria at lunch, what to eat based on the day of the week, what games to play at night—all of this, Sheldon meticulously planned down to the minute, repeating in weekly cycles.

He called this lifestyle "homeostasis."

Once this "homeostasis" was disrupted, Sheldon would fall into a near-frantic state. That stern look earlier was the final warning before losing control.

Believe me, you wouldn't want to know what happens next!

Haven't you noticed how Penny has been trained to behave properly?

That said, although everyone constantly complained about Sheldon's "homeostasis," the disciplined lifestyle did bring them some benefits.

For example, Penny, who used to fluctuate in weight, has maintained a consistent figure since moving here.

After pondering for a moment, Martin suddenly said, "Sheldon, come sit on the couch. Let's talk."

Sheldon glanced at Martin, then at his computer, hesitated for a moment, and finally stood up to sit in his designated spot on the couch.

"If it's about emotional or psychological issues, I'm sorry, but I can't help you right now. After all, I still can't fully grasp the difference between 'jokes' and 'sarcasm.'"

"Besides, I'm currently writing a paper on subatomic particles and M-theory… what ordinary people call 'string theory.'"

Martin shook his head. "It's just a chat."

Sheldon rarely encountered such sudden, reasonless conversations and appeared somewhat uneasy.

"Two years in New York—how does it feel?"

Martin thought for a moment and asked, "I mean, how's life here and your work at the university? Are there any areas where you're not adjusting well?"

Sheldon looked puzzled. "Obviously, my superior brain makes my adaptability stronger than most people's."

"Why are you suddenly asking me this? Is it because your recent 'bed activities' have been too frequent? I've noticed that you haven't come back to the apartment to sleep on schedule twice this week."

Twice a week counts as frequent?

Are you looking down on me?!

(End of Chapter)