Suits: A Lawyer Surviving TV Chaos

Martin Scott never would have expected that in the afternoon, he would be contemplating the high cost of people's mistakes at the office, only to face such a dilemma himself that very evening.

As Martin parked his Porsche in a street-side spot beneath his apartment building, he just happened to see Penny, clad in dancewear and drenched in sweat, jogging back.

"Hey! Penny," Martin called out, then looked her up and down. "What kind of guy lacks class so much that he doesn't even give you time to shower afterward?"

"Just dance practice!" Penny panted, clenching her fists.

Martin locked his car door and walked into the building with Penny. After retrieving a stack of bills and flyers from the mailbox, they climbed the stairs together.

"My mailbox is always filled with bank loan ads and second-hand store discount flyers."

Seeing the pile of luxury boutique advertisements in Martin's hands, Penny couldn't help but mock herself.

"You're still young, Penny. Who knows when fortune might strike? Especially for someone as beautiful as you, dedicated to your acting career."

Martin tried to comfort her, but Penny interrupted him: "Martin, I'm a year older than you."

"Okay! Your life is over!"

After some playful banter, Penny finally asked the question that had been weighing on her mind for a long time.

"Martin, why do you choose to live in this apartment? There isn't even a working elevator!"

Martin continued climbing the stairs and countered with another question: "Do you know why women in Rio de Janeiro have such great figures?"

"Because instead of standing there screaming during a robbery, they pull out a gun and challenge the robber to a shootout?"

Brazil's crime rate was a laughingstock among civilized nations worldwide, even in the U.S., where gun violence was frequent.

Martin chuckled and shook his head. "Rio de Janeiro has extreme differences in elevation. A single street can have an altitude difference of over a hundred meters. People there walk like they're on a treadmill all the time, so naturally, their bodies become curvy."

"The same goes for Norway in Europe."

Penny pouted. "So that's why you can rock a four-thousand-dollar Italian handmade suit?"

Martin struck a bodybuilder pose. "I've never doubted how a great physique complements a brilliant mind!"

After some teasing, Martin explained, "Actually, I rented this place first when I was still a student. Later, Sheldon came back from Europe and moved in, then Leonard..."

"By the way, do you know how the elevator actually broke? Leonard discovered a new type of fuel that was lighter but more powerful, but he chose the wrong place to experiment. Sheldon noticed something was wrong first and threw the fuel into the elevator shaft, and *boom*!"

"There's still an unresolved case file about this elevator explosion at the police station. I sneaked in to take a look last time."

Chatting about random things, they reached their floor. Just as they were about to say goodbye, Sheldon opened the apartment door: "Hi! Penny, glad I ran into you!"

"Hmm?" Penny always felt a bit wary of Sheldon's peculiar logic.

"I must point out that Leonard's excuse for not attending your product launch on Friday was false. We didn't have a quantum mechanics seminar that night—he lied to you!"

"What?" Penny looked both incredulous and hurt.

"That's right. He was actually helping me cover up an embarrassing family situation. My cousin Reed Parker escaped from rehab and is now hiding in a motel on Long Island. Our whole family is going there on Friday to help him return to rehab, and Leonard needs to drive us."

God as his witness! Martin was certain the Coopers didn't have a relative named Reed Parker!

After all, Martin had met the entire Cooper family at the funeral of Sheldon's father, Mr. George Cooper, where he attended as the godson of the widow.

Sheldon lied?

Martin wasn't going to miss this spectacle. He stopped at the doorway, leaning against the doorframe to watch the drama unfold.

Penny quickly calmed her anger from being deceived, and instead, she seemed... touched?

"You mean Leonard lied about having a seminar on Friday just to help you cover up a family scandal? I must say, that's really kind of him."

Sheldon grew nervous and could only emit an ambiguous snort.

Penny turned to Martin across the hall: "Martin, are you going too?"

Martin hadn't expected this to involve him. Though unprepared, seeing Sheldon wink at him, he quickly found a plausible excuse.

"Well, you know, it's a Cooper family matter. Although I'm Mary's godson, it's not appropriate for me to get involved. Sheldon didn't tell me either."

Thanks to his rebirth and law school training, his quick thinking saved him!

After exchanging goodnights, Martin pulled Sheldon into the apartment and closed the door, asking curiously, "What trouble have you gotten yourselves into now?"

Just then, Leonard emerged from his room wearing a red bathrobe. "Martin? You're back?"

"It's all his fault!" Sheldon pointed at Leonard, accusingly. "He didn't want to attend your product launch on Friday, so he made up a clumsy excuse about a physics seminar. I just stepped in to make the lie more elaborate and believable."

"Wait." Leonard looked panicked. "What did you do?"

Sheldon explained everything from the beginning.

Penny had a product launch performance this Friday, and she happily invited Leonard and Sheldon. But Leonard didn't want to go, so he made up an excuse about a physics seminar on Friday night. This excuse made Sheldon uneasy because it was too easy to uncover, which could damage their good relationship with Penny. So, Sheldon decided to spin a more convincing lie.

Thus, the Cooper family suddenly gained a twenty-one-year-old cousin named Reed Parker, who had wandered through U.S. military bases around the world, been abused by missionaries, and turned to drugs to escape reality. To make the story more credible, Sheldon even created a Facebook profile for Reed Parker, complete with photos and melodramatic posts about the darkness of the world.

Martin curiously opened the computer to take a look. "I remember him—he's that guy from your particle physics department, right? Didn't he also study theater performance theory?"

"That's exactly why I chose him!" Sheldon said smugly. "Thin, brooding, and if necessary, he can showcase his acting talent!"

Leonard froze. "You mean we're going to Long Island this weekend?"

"Of course not! It's just a contingency plan. After all, Penny will be busy performing and won't want to follow us to Long Island to meet a dangerous runaway from rehab."

"Are you insane?" Leonard couldn't believe his ears. "It was just an excuse! And you told her I lied to her to her face!"

"It was a white lie!" Sheldon was satisfied with his decision. "You were just trying to save me from embarrassment over a family scandal, so you took the guilt of lying upon yourself. From Penny's reaction earlier, your image undoubtedly improved."

Martin stifled a laugh and nodded in agreement.

Leonard stared at Sheldon in disbelief, then turned to Martin. "Martin, say something!"

"Considering this is a Cooper family internal matter, as an outsider, I shouldn't get involved. After all, a drug-addicted runaway cousin would embarrass the Coopers in front of outsiders."

Martin shrugged. "Leonard, if Penny asks, just say you dropped Sheldon off at Long Island and then spent the rest of the time drinking coffee alone at a café. Otherwise, it'll make me seem too cold-hearted."

"You're sure we have to do this?"

Leonard looked incredulous, completely surprised that Martin, the most emotionally intelligent and level-headed among them, was joining in the chaos.

"What else can we do?" Martin seemed to recall something and shook his head reluctantly.

"You'd better resolve this soon, or Saturday morning, you'll find Reed Parker sitting at the dining table eating a bacon sandwich!"

Leonard grew even more panicked, unable to believe that a casual lie had led to such terrifying consequences. "How is that even possible?"

"Trust me, Leonard!"

Martin winked. "Otherwise, why do you think Sheldon picked a guy with acting experience?"

(End of Chapter)