Stunned for You

Chapter 134

That year, Chen Xizhu was busy preparing to go abroad. Two days after Fu Sitian broke up with Shi Yi, she learned about it from Jian Luhe’s call for help.

Jian Lu and begged her to go and talk to Fu Sitian again, and asked her what she thought. Is it possible that there is no turning back at all? She said that she was not qualified to do such a thing for Shi Yi, but she really felt sorry for Shi Yi. Having known each other for so many years, she had never seen Shi Yi look so depressed and so depressed. It seemed that the spirit and light all over his body had been emptied, leaving only a dejected, tired, lifeless empty shell.

Even Chen Xizhu felt heartbroken after the visit.

She was horrified and unbelievable. But she couldn’t reach Fu Sitian. Fu Sitian did not answer her phone, nor did he reply to her message. She had to go to the dormitory to stop her, but her roommate also said that she was not there.

She had been waiting for her in the dormitory until it got dark and she didn’t come back. She didn’t worry, she made several more phone calls, and Fu Sitian finally answered it.

She said she was in the playground.

Chen Xizhu immediately ran to the playground without stopping.

Fu Sitian was indeed there. She sat on the stone stairway near the flag-raising platform, and looked at Chen Xizhu from far and near with gentle eyes, as if nothing had happened. The night light made her figure very thin, and Chen Xizhu felt that she was not doing well.

She stood on the steps one step lower than Fu Sitian, looked at Fu Sitian, opened her mouth, and her voice was astringent: “Did you break up with Shi Yi?”

Fu Sitian nodded, calmly.

Chen Xizhu’s throat choked and asked, “Why?”

Fu Sitian looked at her, lowered his eyes and said, “Xizhu, Shi Yi and I are not suitable.”

“Where is it inappropriate? Are you going to say that you are not good enough to be worthy of her?” She was a little excited.

Fu Sitian lowered his head and was silent for two seconds before saying, “Yes.”

“I am not good enough, not brave enough, to be worthy of her.”

“You said this again.” Chen Xizhu was angry and anxious, clutching her hand and said loudly: “Are you good enough and whether you are worthy of her? It’s not you who have the final say, Shi Yi said. That’s it. There are so many outstanding people in this world, but Shi Yi only wants you.”

Fu Sitian was raised up by Chen Xizhu’s roar, looking at her, his eyes finally slowly reddened. Chen Xizhu thought she was awake and shaken, but the next second, she yanked her hand back from her hand forcefully and said in a low voice, “I am sorry for her.”

Chen Xizhu clenched his empty hand, his eyes were hurt and puzzled.

Fu Sitian said: “After I graduate, I am going to get married on a blind date.”

Chen Xizhu didn’t blink his eyes for several seconds: “What did you say?”

Fu Sitian had unconcealed sadness in his eyes, but stared at her and repeated clearly: “I am going to get married on a blind date.”

Chen Xizhu was speechless for a while. Since learning the news of their breakup, she has thought about many reasons to excuse Fu Sitian, wondering if she has troubles, if she has committed a good stupid for Shiyi again, and even wondered if Shiyi’s mother is evil. The mother-in-law forced her, but she hadn’t thought about it, she was going to get married?

“I don’t believe it. You obviously like her so much.” In same-sex love, this one reason alone is the most powerless. She dropped her hand, but still didn’t want to believe it. She stared at her, trying to see the flaws in her lying.

But no, Fu Sitian stared at her. Without the slightest concealment, Chen Xizhu could even clearly see her reluctance: “But I can’t love her anymore.”

She said the cruelest words in the softest tone.

She said that sometimes, love is an ability, not a state. And she didn’t have the ability to give Shi Yi the kind of love she wanted to give. Her grandmother was very ill. She didn’t know how long she would have. In the end, she had only one wish, which was to see her get married and start a career. She didn’t want her to leave with regret. She has responsibilities that she must fulfill.

Good-sounding, righteous words. Chen Xizhu was painful, angry and weak, and his family had always been their most painful weakness. She knew that on this road, countless people had compromised or would compromise for this, but she never thought that this person would be Fu Sitian.

“Do you really know what it’s like to spend a lifetime with someone you don’t love? Just because of this **** and unreasonable responsibility?”

“What about Yi at that time, what are your responsibilities to her? Are you not responsible for her? Are you really willing and not unwilling to love someone so hard?” She tried to wake her up.

To no avail. Fu Sitian rolled his eyes, not looking at her: “I am sorry for her, I overestimated myself at first.”

“She is in a very bad condition now.”

“It’s always like this at the beginning. Long-term pain is not as good as short-term pain. She will definitely meet someone more suitable for her than me.”

Chen Xizhu was startled, tears fell in his eyes, and he was extremely disappointed: “Fu Sitian.” She rarely called her full name: “I don’t seem to know you anymore.”

Fu Sitian’s lips trembled, and there was water flickering in his eyes, but he was still indifferent.

Chen Xizhu felt something was broken. Not only Shi Yi and Fu Sitian’s love fairy tales, but also their own dreams and beliefs. She suddenly felt that love is really fragile. The words she curled up at the window and asked her before she came may be true: “There is actually nothing in this world that will never change.” Brave people will also. People who become cowardly and affectionate will also become affectionate, and no amount of deep love can reach reality. So, is hard work still useful?

Is the pile of application materials piled up on her desk still useful?

Tears fell completely uncontrollably, and she couldn’t face this calm and cold-hearted Fu Sitian: “You will regret it. You will regret it!”

She muttered, turned around, staggered, and ran down crying all the way.

Fu Sitian sat motionless without calling her. The wind on the winter night was so strong that the blood in their bodies was so cold.

That was the last time they met in college.

From beginning to end, Fu Sitian didn’t say that she didn’t love Shiyi anymore, she just said that she couldn’t love Shiyi anymore.

Shi Yi’s heart felt like a fire, hot and painful. She couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake. Is her attitude not good enough before, so Stian dare not say? But from the beginning of meeting, Si Tian did not show any extra feelings. Even those so-called clues have become ridiculous evidence of her self-deception and passion under her phrase “no regrets”.

Shi Yi was too aware of what it was like to be happy. She couldn’t hold the cup anymore, leaned against the coffee table with both hands, her expression in a daze.

Chen Xizhu and Yin Fanlu looked at each other, and they both fell silent.

After a long while, Shi Yi finally settled down, restored his usual calmness, and whispered softly: “You can ask her if she will go to play together tomorrow.”

Chen Xizhu’s eyes widened unexpectedly, Yin Fanlu reacted before her and laughed: “Okay, try to trick her over.”

It is always good to be willing to take the initiative. Whether it is to untie the knot, or to continue the front.

Shi Yi snorted, and some smile appeared from the bottom of his eyes after a long time.

In the evening, Chen Xizhu and Yin Fanlu made sure of their speaking skills, and called Fu Sitian nervously. Although he made his promises in front of Shi Yi in the afternoon, after calming down, Chen Xizhu couldn’t help but feel a little frightened-he was afraid that he would be indiscriminately and would not help.

So this call is not only a test of Shi Yi’s attitude towards her, but also their confirmation of her attitude.

The call was quickly connected, and Fu Sitian’s gentle voice came out: “Hee Zhu?”

Chen Xizhu was nostalgic when he heard it, and suddenly relaxed a lot. “Have you interrupted your work?”

“No.” She seemed to laugh: “Don’t think about me so much.”

Soon after Chen Xizhu left, she was in a bad spirit and went back to the apartment to rest.

Chen Xizhu listened to her soft words and became more relaxed: “That happens to be, I also came to borrow time from you.”

“Ok?”

“It is not convenient for Tian to accompany me and Lulu to Huizhou tomorrow morning? We will leave tomorrow morning, spend the night there, and return the day after tomorrow. The day after tomorrow, Lulu and I will return to Beicheng.” Huizhou is a famous province next to Haicheng. The ancient town is about an hour’s drive from Haicheng.

Fu Sitian thought without hesitation: “It’s okay. I’ll just arrange things in the restaurant at night.”

Chen Xizhu raised his eyebrows with joy and looked natural. He said carefully and boldly: “Then you will send me your address later. Tomorrow morning I will let Shi Yi drive over to pick you up. The four of us will drive a car just fine.”

Fu Sitian missed a beat, sat up straight from the back of the bed, and hesitated: “Is Shi Yi going too?”

Chen Xizhu affirmed: “Yeah.”

Fu Sitian didn’t speak for a while.

Chen Xizhu probed: “What’s wrong? You… don’t want to go with her?”

how could be. Fu Sitian bit his lips while looking at the vast stars on the ceiling. She was just afraid, it was too disturbing. Shi Yi’s voice that “some people are only suitable for staying in memories” seemed to be still in his ears.

“Does Shi Yi know?”

“Know what? Did we invite you?”

“Ok.”

“I know.” Chen Xizhu said briskly. “She has to book a hotel tonight, and I will wait for your reply.”

Fu Sitian was stunned, and his heartbeat suddenly got out of order. Shi Yi, what do you want to do?

“Promise, promise, I don’t know how long this opportunity will be next time.” Chen Xizhu urged on the other end of the phone.

Yes, next time, what year and month will it be? Fu Sitian looked at the starry sky with sadness and nostalgia. “Well, Jinshan Rongzhu, I will send you a text message.” She agreed softly.

Chen Xizhu’s joy overflowed the speaker: “Okay. Then see you tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

After hanging up the phone, Fu Sitian sat quietly under the gloomy starry sky, a little dazed.

After Chen Xizhu and Yin Fanlu left, Chen Xizhu’s words “not so good”, “We never saw her smile like before”, “She has been spending New Year alone in Haicheng. It seems that she has only been with her for the past two years. Mom’s relationship has eased a bit.” It echoed back and forth in her mind, like a file, repeatedly stabs the unhealed rotten flesh in her body.

She thought she had already lost consciousness. But after meeting Shi Yi again, she realized that it wasn’t that the pain didn’t hurt anymore, but the pain was too long, and she forgot what it felt like not to hurt.

She couldn’t imagine how Shi Yi spent the Spring Festival in a rented house that year, and couldn’t imagine how much she suffered and suffered in the past few years alone in a foreign country.

Since the reunion, Shi Yi’s cold, mocking, and contemptuous faces reappeared in front of his eyes, Fu Sitian thought, because he has sins that are unforgivable and deserved.

She turned off the starry sky light, plunged herself into the darkness, and embraced the thin picture in the palm of her hand, like her eternal mirror image.

The tighter the hug, the emptier the heart.

It’s okay, baby. You can do whatever you want to me. She whispered in her heart.