Chapter 59: Like Mother Like Son
Ivy didn’t really think Zero would drown.
But she carefully watched him anyways as she sat on the grassy bank.
The devil stood in the stream, his pant legs rolled up to his knees, as he bent over and stuck his head into the rushing water and scrubbed at his hair. It was such a normal and simple act, something that he had done time and time again with little consideration. But that same lack of interest from him didn’t apply to the girl.
It was quite the opposite, and she was very thankful to Ren for sending her along to supervise.
It was obvious that Zero had changed in the time since the girl had first met him. He’d always been tall and very lean, so the transformation of his body wasn’t something she could ignore. He had gotten a little taller, but the growth was mostly in his build. He wasn’t nearly as skinny anymore, and his limbs and chest were widening as muscle developed and grew, something Ivy noticed when her arms wrapped around him and his around her.
Ren had always been attentive in respect to the boy’s training, but Sakura had taken it a step further, challenging and pushing him in ways that he wasn’t accustomed to. While the man was more laid back and playful about it, the woman was strict and tolerated nothing less than the maximum amount of effort put forth into each and every movement and would demand he repeat an action over and over until she was satisfied.
Sometimes it seemed excessive, but the fruits of his labor were certainly starting to pay off and the girl had no complaints.
It always surprised Ivy when she realized that Zero wasn’t exactly the same as before, and that wasn’t just in the way he looked. The way he held himself was different as well; straighter, more confident, his head held high more often than ducked low. He spoke more, initiated conversations, and expressed his feelings and wants instead of keeping them bundled inside. Little by little, his personality was starting to shine through, and it made her wonder just how much more he would continue to grow and change.
“Do you know how to fish?” the boy asked as he washed his arms and torso in the cool water.
The girl perked up and beamed with the random inquiry. “I can with a pole. Sakura can catch fish with her hands. She stands out in the water and waits for them and grabs them. I’m not quick enough to do it.” She glanced down sadly, her smile wilting away. “I don’t really want to though. I feel sorry for the poor fish. I know I have to eat them, but I don’t really like to.” The pity didn’t last long as she shook it off, returning to her chipper self. “How about you?”
Zero looked over at her. “Ren can catch them like that. I can’t. I have to use a pole or a spear outside of the water. He said it’s because fish don’t like heat, so they stay away from me. I like to fish though. It’s peaceful, and it’s the only time that Ren’s ever really quiet.” He exited the stream, shaking out his dripping hair. “Will you tell me what you told me earlier?”
“You really weren’t listening to me?” she asked, a small pout on her lips.
“I’m sorry.” The boy went to her, laying his body on the grass and head on her lap. “You were talking too fast. I couldn’t keep up.”
She tapped his forehead. “You should have told me to slow down. What were you doing?”
“Looking at you.” The same way he was now, crimson eyes unwavering.
The girl tilted her head to the side, unsure why that meant that he couldn’t at least try to listen as well. “Why?”
That little smile appeared, his gaze so warm. “Because you’re beautiful and I like to.”
An all-engulfing blaze flooded Ivy’s chest and sprung to her face, burning her skin from within. She quickly slapped her hand over his eyes in an attempt to calm the torrent of heat before it could all boil over.
It wasn’t just Zero’s body that was changing.
So was hers.
Little by little it grew each day, an influx of external passions that she became more perceptive of but was lost in how to control.
“Do you want me to stop looking at you?” the devil asked quietly, his disappointment seeping through.
Ivy took a deep breath to steady herself before slipping her hand from his eyes and into his wet hair, combing it out. “No. I don’t. Sometimes, it’s just a lot to handle. Too much.”
“I’m sorry.” He glanced away.
A smile brightened her flushed face as she shook her head, and her other hand cupped his cheek. “Don’t be. I like it when you look at me. And I like looking at you. So we should both look at each other.” She giggled. “Deal?”
Zero nodded, crimson returning to meet violet. “What were you telling me earlier?”
Ivy couldn’t blame the boy for not listening. She knew that she had been talking in circles, making it difficult for even her to follow what point she was trying to make. But now, she had had plenty of time to think of what to say and how to say it.
Even though she really didn’t want to.
“Hwan told us that devils don’t kidnap people.” The uneasiness settled across her face as she pulled a small piece of bark from the boy’s white strands. “They only kill them. Especially angels. Devils hate them. So it’s strange that your father would take your mother.”
Zero watched her, the girl’s nervousness growing with every passing moment. “What else?”
She swallowed hard; the words so difficult to say. “That they only have children with other devils. And that they try to kill their children, especially the fathers.”
“He did,” the boy stated, as if there was nothing abnormal or disturbing about it.
Ivy felt that stabbing pain cut through her. “He tried to kill you?”
“Yes, but you know how that is.”
“Did it happen a lot?”
“Maybe. Later on. I remember he tried when I was small a few times, but I didn’t see him much. Sometimes if my mother came to see me he would come for her. After he told me she had died was when I started to see him more. I don’t know how long it was between, it’s hard to determine time when it’s always dark, but he tried to kill me every time he came. He’d be mad when he saw I was still alive.”
Ivy looked down at Zero, her eyes so full of anguish while his remained calm and accepting. How could anyone ever do such a thing? “Did your mother try?”
“No.” He was quiet for a moment. “I remember she said that she should have, but she never tried.”
Ivy took the devil’s face in her hands, rubbing her thumbs along his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Zero. I’m so sorry you went through that. You didn’t deserve any of it.”
His hand came up, brushing under her eyes. “I’m sorry for making you cry.”
She hadn’t even realized the tears were there.
“Have you ever cried?” the girl asked. It seemed so unlikely. She couldn’t imagine living her life without being able to expel some of her built up pain and sorrow through her tears. How much torment had he kept to himself all of this time without even a little relief?
“I don’t know. Maybe?” Memories could be such a difficult thing to grasp with so many of them being fuzzy and distant at best. “I’m not sure.”
“Do you ever want to?”
Zero never liked watching his mother cry, and he preferred dying over witnessing Ivy’s tears. “I don’t think so.”
“It’s not a bad thing to cry,” Ivy told him. “Everyone gets sad. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you feel better afterwards. Sometimes you need to cry.”
The boy nodded, still not seeing the allure.
“You don’t have to.” She smiled, his apprehension obvious. “But if you do, I’ll be there for you for as long as you need.”
“Thank you.” He didn’t know what else to say, and it seemed like an acceptable response.
Ivy went back to running her fingers through his hair, watching as he closed his eyes. It was so warm out and Zero’s hair was already mostly dried. She loved these moments, where everything was calm, and it was just them. Where they could just… be. Without any interference or expectations or responsibilities. It didn’t happen often, and she was grateful for every moment they got to spend together. She could stay like this forever, just as long as she was with him.
She loved Sakura.
But Sakura wasn’t Zero.
Just like Sakura loved her.
But she wasn’t Ren.
Looking down at the boy in her lap, she knew how Ren and Sakura felt about each other. How no matter who or what came along, the two always sought each other out, willing to follow and wait no matter how long it took.
Ivy knew because she understood.
She could feel it in the very core of her soul.
There was no one like Zero.
There would never be anyone like him.
She would follow him anywhere.
Wait for him until the end of time.
He was everything.
He was precious.
He was special.
Special.
Ren had asked.
“Zero?”
“Hm?” His eyes still closed, on the verge of drifting off to sleep.
“Why do you think your father kept your mother? What made her so special?”
The boy opened his eyes to peer up at the girl. “I don’t know.”
“Was there ever anything? Maybe something that your mother said? Or your father?”
He was quiet for some time, his lips and eyes moving and twitching slightly as he considered it carefully. Ivy ran her fingers gently over his eyebrows, his jaw, his neck, his collarbones.
Waiting.
For as long as he needed.
His calm gaze connected with hers once again. “Maybe there was something.”
Ivy’s heart suddenly sank, and her breath caught in her throat.
“The last time I saw him, he told me that I was the same as my mother. That he needed from me what he needed from her.”
Ivy didn’t want to know.
But she already did.
It made her sick.
Made the tears fall.
“What?” she whispered, not needing the answer.
Zero reached up to wipe the droplets from her eyes as they spilled onto his cheeks, becoming his own. “My blood.”