Strange Life of a Cat

Zheng Tan felt lost; he didn’t even know “the Buddha”. Originally, he thought Papa Jiao was going to talk about him running away, but not only did he not mention it, he was talking about some “Buddha”.

“Forget it. He doesn’t look like he knows anything.” Mama Jiao returned to the kitchen. She didn’t think a cat could make Chuhua’s famous “Buddha” change her attitude.

Papa Jiao sat down on the sofa and described “the Buddha” to Zheng Tan.

When he heard Papa Jiao say she was a woman in her fifties with a stern look, he immediately thought of the lady who came by the lake every day.

“Buddha” was actually Ye He. She was the dean of the Faculty of Physics. Because she was so serious and demanding all the time and her name happened to be part of the name of that famous Qing Dynasty Buddha Yehe Nala [1], she was nicknamed “the Buddha”. Her department was part terrified and part in awe by her. It didn’t help that her husband was now the headmaster.

Zheng Tan recalled Dean Ye’s look and her leadership style. The nickname was really quite fitting.

Papa Jiao did not ask about him running away nor did he say anything more about “the Buddha” smiling. It didn’t seem like a bad thing.

The kids woke up at dinner time. Jiao Yuan went immediately to the fridge to check on his “treasures”.

“Oh, sh*t!”

Mama Jiao, who was carrying out dishes of food, caught him the moment he started swearing. She laid down the plate and gave his ear a hard tug.

“Foul language. That’s one buck deducted from your pocket money!”

“Hey, don’t. I was in the moment. I couldn’t control myself. Have mercy.” Jiao Yuan begged while rubbing his ear.

But Mama Jiao’s heart was set and Jiao Yuan was out of a buck. Zheng Tan could tell from his gritted teeth, those three boys were going to get a tongue lashing from him tomorrow.

After being deserted for seven days, the Jiao household was lively again.

After dinner, the two children watched a bit of TV, then obediently went back to their rooms to study. After missing school for a week, they had quite a bit of catching up to do.

Mama Jiao cleaned up the dishes, then left to visit her colleagues.

Mama Jiao taught junior high English at a school near Chuhua University. Her co-workers had to sub in for her when she was gone. Now that she was back, she bought some fruits and went over to their place to thank them.

As for Papa Jiao, he was now sitting at the desk with a book.

Zheng Tan went over to see the cover. It was a collections of essays by Lu Xun. This meant Papa Jiao was not in a very good mood.

People unavoidably suffered from negative emotions from time to time, but each had their own way of dealing with it. For some people, it was alcoholism; for others, it was fighting or extreme sports. Papa Jiao never swore or did intense stuff to vent. Because there were children at home, he rarely smoked or drank.

So, when Papa Jiao was frustrated, he read the works of Lu Xun.

Zheng Tan remembered in August, when Papa Jiao was waiting for the National Natural Science Foundation to announce the list of scientists receiving funding this year, he started reading Lu Xun’s “The True Story of Ah Q”.

A few days later, the National Natural Science Foundation contacted him to notify him he was on the list.

As for today …

Zheng Tan jumped on the desk to take a closer look. Papa Jiao was reading “Some Thoughts on ‘F*ck’ “.

… times were progressing; it couldn’t possibly regress to the age of ‘f*ck’. After deep thought, coupled with our long history of cultural heritage, we finally found a word that was “more elegant”, “more civilized” and more exhilarating than “cool” – “Ass”. “My ass” was now said out loud with ease … [2]

Zheng Tan read the paragraph, then looked back at Papa Jiao, who was reading on with a straight face. Well, everyone had to vent somehow. Sometimes, he really didn’t understand Papa Jiao.

Zheng Tan went to the balcony to get some fresh air. The night air was cool with the slight sweetness of flowers. Before he could take a deep breath, unique singing from the fourth floor disrupted his peace.

“I plant~ a mellow at the foot of a wall, watering it every day ~ visiting it every day ~ it sprouted ~ flowers bloomed~ and it became ~ a big watermelon ~, big watermelon oh big watermelon, ~ I can’t even hold it ~ ”

Zheng Tan: “… ”

Hold a melon your as*.

The parrot was watering a pot. During summer, he spat a watermelon seed into the flower pot on the balcony. When he found out it had sprouted a stem, he was exhilarated. Each time he watered the pot, he sang this song.

It was a miracle that this melon actually survived. The parrot and its owner sometimes went away for weeks on end, with no one here to water the plant. It was left entirely to nature. If it rained, the plant got some water.

As for fertilizer, there was plenty of bird poop.

Zheng Tan looked down. The melon seedlings had grown quite a bit. Only God knew how much longer it could survive in this habitat.

Zheng Tan went back inside, before the parrot realized he was there. He rolled around on the sofa for a bit, before falling asleep.

He had to get up early tomorrow. He was informed that Wei Lin was increasing the intensity of his training since he didn’t feel that tired anymore after running a lap. He was to practice climbing trees too. It was going to be a long day.

The night passed in peace.

The next day, Zheng Tan felt he was going to cry over his eggs and pork noodles at breakfast. It was great to have people at home. No more cafeteria food.

Zheng Tan took his time eating his noodles and strolled slowly to the lawn. Wei Ling was warming up.

“You are fifteen minutes late.”

Zheng Tan ignored him. He rested for a while, digesting his food. Then after a quick warm up on the lawn, he began his daily run. His paws were rougher due to his daily runs. At first, it hurt quite a bit. Now, he was used to it.

They took a slightly different route today. It was filled with slopes and stairs. The distance was longer too. It was supposed to be more tiring and it was.

Afterwards, Zheng Tan felt as if his limbs were made from noodles. He was fatigued to the bone and ceased to walk. He limped instead.

Wei Ling had to walk him home to the eastern quarters. Zheng Tan needed guarding at the moment, a small Chihuahua could kill him in his current state.

Zheng Tan looked over to the grove on his way home. Tiger was rolling in the grass; Sheriff was staring at a turtledove. As for the Fatty, Zheng Tan looked around. That guy was sleeping, as always, in a heap of stones.

Weeds grew all around the stones. If you didn’t know what you were looking for, it was quite easy to miss the sleeping cat. It was crouched into the shape of a peanut with its head on the ground.

Zheng Tan took one step in that direction. Fatty’s ear immediately perked up. He was upright in the blink of an eye. His eyelids were no longer drooping. He looked alert, unlike what he usually looked like after waking up.

Since Fatty began a stage of horizontal development, he gained lot of flesh on his face. Together with his fluffy fur, his head appeared huge, making his ear appear small in comparison. But his hearing was just as good.

Zheng Tan was feeling puzzled when Fatty came running towards them. At the same time, a familiar car with army plates came rolling down the driveway.

The window rolled down slowly. Before it was halfway down, Fatty, who just came running, jumped up and into the car through that small crack.

If weren’t for the fact he just he witnessed it with his own eyes, Zheng Tan never would have believed that this chubby kitty could jump with such agility and precision.

Couldn’t Fatty have waited until the window was all the way down? This was so dangerous.

This guy was a masochist, for sure. He was looking to be punished. They were definitely going to be treated to the sight of him squatting on instant noodles when they got back.

Zheng Tan was pitying Fatty, when Wei Ling suddenly stood up straight and saluted.

Zheng Tan looked at Wei Ling, then back at the car, then back at Wei Ling. He was puzzled.

“That was my old commander. Of course, now he has climbed up the ranks.” Wei Ling answered sensing Zheng Tan’s confusion.

‘No wonder he felt weird the first time he saw the fat cat. If it was trained by that person, everything could be explained.’

Zheng Tan was surprised. Who knew Fatty’s family’s relative was someone of great importance?

Wei Ling tossed a plastic water bottle into the trash. Although he had left the army, he saluted on reflex.

“Could you jump like that?” Wei asked.

Zheng Tan knew he meant that precise jump made by Fatty a moment ago. He twitched his ear. The odds were not good if he were to attempted the same move. If the window was completely rolled down, he could definitely jump in. But if the window was only half way down like it was … it would be difficult. He could hit his head or his limbs could get caught.

Zheng Tan was smaller in size compared to Fatty. So technically, it should be easier for him. But he wasn’t so sure of himself.

“So, you still have lots to learn.” Wei Ling came to a conclusion.

What he just saw was just the tip of the iceberg. He believed that cat was capable of much more than it was showing. Although it had rarely moved since he came to the university, but its vigilance, keen observation powers and ability to calculate its enemy’s next move had set it apart from other cats. Not to mention, it could jump as well as any feline.

“You have a long way to go!” With that said, Wei Ling left. He didn’t continue running like he did the day before, but left campus to visit an old friend. He needed to share what he just saw.

Zheng Tan recovered from his surprise. He climbed trees for a while then went home for lunch.

What he didn’t know was Papa Jiao came back to copy a document. He saw Wei Ling saluting to the car with Zheng Tan by his side. He heard from Yi Xin about his cat’s daily runs. Madam Di also mentioned it to him. He was just figuring out how to investigate Wei Ling, when he saw this scene.

It was good he knew these people.

After copying his document at home, Papa Jiao went to visit Fatty’s house on the first floor. Ten minutes later, he left.

That evening, when the Jiao couple were chatting about their cat, Papa Jiao said, “Rest assured. Although that Wei Ling’s exact background is a mystery. He could definitely be trusted. It’s good that Charcoal is learning tricks from him. It could be helpful to keep him out of harm’s way on future trips.”

[1] Ye He Na La is the last name of a famous female ruler who ruled with an iron fist. The Chinese sometimes call the mother/grandmother of an emperor “the Buddha”. She both ruled as the mother of an emperor and the grandmother of another.

[2] A Paragraph from Lu Xun’s essay. It was satirical.