Stop it, Bro~

"Huaaa!" Buggy gasped before he realized, "Wait... I don't have lungs so... I'm fine..." And this raised even more questions as to... how was he even alive?! But these were the questions far too unimportant for the great Buggy—

"Hey! What are you doing you thieving little— Gahk!"

Nami inserted a pipe into Buggy's mouth while tying his hand and face all the while violating the sanctity of his mouth with a wicked grin as she had also tied down his hands and feet separately. "I've had a tough morning," she stared at the clown captain dead in the eyes as the sight of her sister spooning with their captain was too 'weird' for her and then the events that unfolded later on really drove in the point that she hadn't even eaten breakfast.

"This helps!" She fully sealed Buggy while tying his face in many angles around the railing of the deck as he was still forced to choke on a pipe. But... he didn't have a throat.

Meanwhile, with tension becoming almost tangible around them once again as if their egos were being threatened just by the challenging stare they were giving one another, Brody narrowed his gaze, "Now what?"

"Now I make you a part of my pirate crew," Alvida remarked.

"Oh, even after seeing my bounty? Then it only ends two ways," Brody laughed, "First, I recruit you because you have some plan or a great deal of confidence in something that could deal with me. Second, I reject you after beating you for this stupid decision because, in my crew, only one person can make stupid decisions... and that's me!"

Smirking in reply, Alvida wielded her spiked mace and remarked, "Then make your move. I'd like to see the strength that could ruin a kingdom, a fact that Revolutionaries are known for more than a pirate!"

While Brody seemingly disappeared from her view with the virtue of his speed, she didn't need to see him as a kick aimed at her face rightly struck her cheek with stunning momentum and... slipped off the moment the barest bit of his toe's nail reached her cheek.

*Bang*

Brody's foot speared into the deck as his position grew awkward due to a bent waist caused by his own momentum as his hands crossed in front of him to block the strike from the heavy Iron Mace. With another large sound, Nami and Nojiko saw as Alvida, despite her slim exterior, possessed strength that would make beasts pale in comparison as she pushed Brody back while his foot still in the deck continued to carve out a trail before eventually slipping out without a single mark around his ankle.

"Whew~!" Exhaling in surprise, Brody looked at Alvida who had a rather proud grin as he wondered out loud, "You guys really lucked out with your devil fruits. So? What was its name? Sube Sube?"

With her mace pulled back and her hands behind the back of her head once again, Alvida struck a pose as she purred, "Exactly~ Sube Sube no Mi makes everything slip off of me. Be it something blunt or even something sharp. As long as it is tangible, it will fail to harm me in any manner! Brody... I can show the respect you deserve. Instead of joining my crew, let's be—"

"No," grinning with a stare worse than hungry beasts that only Alvida could see from where she stood, Brody brushed off his arms as Alvida finally realized that even his arms seemed... unharmed, "It looks like you get option 1. I'll have you on my ship by the end of the day. So... nothing physical can harm you, huh? That's a neat ability... really."

As Brody crouched, Alvida couldn't help but question, "What are you doing?"

Her brows locked into a deep furrow while his fingers pushed into the deck and broke apart the wooden surface into many splinters. This position...

Alvida felt ominous while Nami yelped and held the nearest railing as if realizing what Brody was up to. Nojiko still looked confused but she quickly grabbed onto a railing herself.

*Crack*

With his grin widening, Brody suddenly jerked his hand forward to the point that his already impressive muscled bulged for a second even more than usual before settling down once again while Alvida felt the entire ship tremble. Even if unable to recognize Brody's plan, Alvida knew better than to let him continue as she slid forward and even went past a few splinters without any issue but...

"Hanma Special~" Brody giggled as he practically flipped off a large half of the boat where Alvida stood as she 'slipped' down instead, her own ability acting against her this time!

"Table Flip— Ship Edition!"

*Crash*

A large chunk of the ship fell into the water as Buggy's eyes widened and he groaned and struggled against his restraints.

Nami's eyes widened, too, while Nojiko certainly looked shocked. Not because of Brody's strength. After what they'd seen, the two siblings deep down admired and almost revered his strength so they expected a lot more from him. No... it was something else.

Something Brody realized once his 'master' plan to defeat Alvida's genuinely troublesome ability was executed.

"Aha..." chuckling nervously, Brody looked back, "Sorry, you guys. We can't take this ship anymore..."

"Hah... don't worry. We can take that one." Nami sighed while shaking her head and pointing at another large ship anchored near them. The frame and the deck were painted pink with the white bird figurehead's eyes shaped like comical red hearts, a print that was all over the sails of the ship, too!

"Oho! Nice catch... sigh, I should get her out now. For all their abilities, Devil Fruit Users have too stupid of a weakness..." Brody groaned and jumped into the water.

---

"How is that MY fault that you wore white? Of course, it'll be see-through!" Brody would have punched the insufferable woman who had changed out from her scanty white bikini top to a dark pink bikini top as she shook her head, "In my years of being a captain, I have realized that we must be responsible. Of course, seeing my maiden body must come with many, many responsibilities~!"

"I changed my mind. Don't want ya in my crew..." Brody sighed and looked at Nami and Nojiko with a smile, "I really got lucky finding the two of you." His sincere expression only elicited a stunned expression from the sibling as a white hat with a large red plume sticking out brushed against his nose with Alvida leaning against his chest, "Captain Brody, no backsies~ With your strength and my beauty, we'll rule over the ocean!"

"Oye! What about our alliance?!" Buggy couldn't keep himself from interacting and finally shouted as Brody held his head while all of them walked alongside an uneven trail.

"Oh, that?" With a complete shift in her expression, Alvida gave Buggy a monotonous reply, "Alliance end all the time. Don't let my beautiful rejection put you down, Buggy..."

"Curse you all!" Buggy growled while Nojiko inquired, "This is my first being a pirate, so... what are we exactly looking for?"

"My men!" Buggy declared.

"Treasure!" Brody chimed.

"Some private time," Alvida winked.

"Meaning in life, oh, and money!" Nami sighed.

"I see," Nojiko hummed and walked into the nearby shrubs with a curious expression, "There's something here..."

"What?" Three individuals and one head looked in Nojiko's direction curiously and with great expectations. After all, as Nojiko said, this was her first time being a pirate but the rest were somewhat experienced and their income either came from terrorizing and looting men and women who actually worked hard for their sustenance or... strike lucky encounters.

"Is it something good? My gut says it's something good," Brody smiled as Alvida hummed, "Great intuition, Captain."

"Ugh, at least wait for doors to close before sucking up," Nami groaned.

"Hah? That insult slipped off of my smooth skin," Alvida smirked, "Be more jealous of my beauty, girl, no, Nami. With us being under the same captain, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other a lot."

Snorting, Nami grumbled under her breath. She simply couldn't use her 'charm' like she usually did in other pirate crews to have things run at her own pace with the team Brody had managed to 'collect.' Still, Nami felt her anger greatly subside deep down as she had gone through enough to remain mature and realize that she wasn't as angry at Alvida or Nojiko for that matter as she'd been frustrated in a matter of a day by the lack of peaceful sleep and accommodation. Not to mention, she didn't have the privilege to have a spoon for better sleep... so that she could recover even quicker.

"Sigh, it was just a strange puzzle written in an empty box..." Nojiko walked out with a helpless expression, "It was personal information with the writer's intention being warning us about the inhabitants of the Island."

"Inhabitants?" Brody narrowed his eyes while recalling the strange figure watching the pirates from the top of a tree.

"Don't you guys know about the Kumata Tribe?" Alvida pointed out and continued while she looked at their clueless expression, "They're a cannibal tribe that preys on any washed-up men or traders on the island. This is my second time on this island. The first time, my men were ambushed and we were forced to leave this place..."

Nojiko's and Nami's lips parted in surprise while Brody scratched his chin, "So... if they are uncivilized and only eat people then... they could have kept the 'waste' of the dead, right?"

"Aaahhh—" It was at the end of this conclusion that the exploration team heard a distant cry of help. Curious to see what kind of sight they might end up greeting, the group began to move when, after a few minutes, Buggy's expression changed slightly yet he kept his quiet.

---

"Please don't eat us! We aren't tasty!" Not even stripped and being cooked alongside their clothes and a green-furred lion, a group of men rapidly sobering up from their hangover screamed at the top of their lungs as the surrounding ponytailed men with dark noses holding sharp spears and knives paid the men in a large pot, chest deep under broth, no heed and grinned viciously. Hunger flickered in their gazes as they had already started the fire under these captured, clown-themed men.

Meanwhile, two of the tribesmen unfurled beige cloth within which were pieces of the human body. Grumbling and still concerned about the freshness of the material, the duo picked up the body parts when...

The handless arm struck their throat before all the body parts started to float and attack the tribesmen.

"Captain Buggy!" The men screamed joyfully, but under their stunned gazes, the pieces of body parts reattached themselves to form a floating headless man who snuck behind a tree and waited quietly.

---

With an arm against his cheek, unfazed, Brodey looked at the head still in his hand and questioned, "Is this supposed to be a punch," while inwardly... disappointed with himself.

He never faced so many twists and turns while destroying a damn kingdom and climbing the giant freaking red mountain as much as he had experienced them in a matter of days. From Arlong to Alvida and now Buggy...

Still, he wouldn't let it show. Besides, his body instinctively reacted to actual threats... something Buggy failed to be but here Brody realized his weakness.

He was physically 'naive' and without caution when it came to those weaker than him, a problem he felt he must solve as quickly as possible!

"Uh... surprise! It was a flashy prank!" Buggy uttered loudly while sweating even from the top of his head.

"Ugh," groaning, Brody finally let go of Buggy's head. It wasn't like they were enemies or something so it mattered little to him if his head was connected to his neck while his hands and feet were still tied to the ship.

"Alright, thanks for taking care of these men for us, Buggy. It was a good prank," Brody smiled before looking past the boiling man that slammed themselves out of the pot as they fell onto the ground with the stock completely drowning the flames. Meanwhile, Nami had slipped away at a moment's notice and he saw her enter the nearest tent before sneaking out from behind while holding a golden bracelet.

"Let's find all the valuables and leave," Brody shrugged as Nojiko suddenly questioned, "Aren't you going to deal with them for eating humans?"

Her question not only attracted Buggy's mocking glares but also the men who were just recently being boiled alongside a lion.

"Why would I hurt someone just trying to eat?" Brody looked at Nojiko in confusion, "If they tried eating anyone of you or pissed me off, sure, I'd break them but, eh," shrugging nonchalantly, Brody hummed, "As you said, this is your first 'trip.' You'll learn and grow. Pirates... is just a title held by a variety of men and women. You can't assess someone based on them being pirates."

"Captain! Your gut was right! Get here quickly!"

Nami's hurried tone attracted Buggy more than Brody but as the redhead destroyer of castles just claimed— all pirates are different. Brody happened to be the rare few who are lenient like another familiar redhead and Buggy knew from experience to not test the patience of such pirates. As such, he kept to himself now that the alliance was broken while plotting his revenge against the Straw Hat all by himself.

Meanwhile, happy that his gut wasn't wrong this time, too, Brody grinned and led the way with a chipper Alvida and a slightly downcast Nojiko who had her excitement showered by some real stuff Brody had to say. Maybe she was a little depressed that after having her whims supported by him largely, he actually drew a line when it came to acting against others out of his own code of conduct...

Or maybe it was just a sense of moral loss that came with NOT beating cannibals. One thing was for sure, Nojiko now understood that Brody wouldn't have opposed the idea of her beating the cannibals should she have enough strength... it was the same thing he said to Alvida— he wouldn't attack Luffy just because she said so.

***

Alternative Title: Buggy is the new Brook