Stop it, Bro~

"My head hurts..." Luffy groaned while sitting up only to find a blonde youth staring at him closely with his large round eyes. His nose was as long, if not longer than Usopp's but ended with a squarish tip. Both Luffy and the newcomer blinked before the captain groaned weakly, "I'm hungry..."

"Here," and the round-eyed, square-tipped nose man took out a whole family of bananas from under the bed as Luffy's eyes widened but not as much as his mouth did as the man directly gulped the dozen with even his throat taking the shape of the bananas as he swallowed them and he looked at the blonde figure weakly and pitiably, "So hungry..."

"Didn't I tell you to not fall for his tricks?" Sanji's annoyed tone rang as Luffy grew visibly excited, "Sanji!" Sitting up, he grinned, "Food! Food!"

"Tch," with a large plate stacked with pieces of meat upon meat, Sanji walked towards Luffy and set it near him while speaking, "This is Kaku. Zoro found him holding a large sign that said he's a navigator and needed a crew."

"Num, num," while chewing on the last piece of meat in a matter of seconds, Luffy waited and listened as Sanji continued after inhaling a puff from his cigarette.

"Anyway, if you accept him, he's the navigator. If not, we'll drop him off on the next island."

"But... we already have Usopp with a long nose... do we need two of them?" Luffy frowned and looked at Kaku...'s nose as their lips twitched before Kaku blinked.

"Wait, I cannot let you say that I and Long-Nose -kun are the same," Kaku interjected with a grave expression as Sanji's expression changed.

"Don't tell me... you're doing that? Oi, Moss Head, Usopp! Kaku is doing THAT!" Sanji shouted, "Oh, and Luffy's awake!"

Luffy blinked curiously while chewing away the bone of the meat as Zoro and Usopp barged into the room with a flustered expression.

"That?" Usopp looked with his lips parted.

Meanwhile, Kaku stood straight and spoke, "Look! Kaku's Square Nose Special!"—

"Nose Stand!"

Kaku jumped and rotated midair before 'landing' face first... no, nose first. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

While still on his nose and his body balanced perfectly straight, Kaku strained to gaze up at Luffy and looked into his eyes seriously.

"How's that?"

"A— AWESOME!!!" Luffy's gaze grew almost blinding as he shouted with unimaginable fervor!

"Anyway," standing up straight, Kaku looked at the crew, "We should stop near an island. I need to coat the ship's base with seastone powder that I stole from the marines. It's one of the best ways to enter Grandline!"

---

"Is he alright?" Having just repaired the hole her captain came through— her first menial job— Alvida walked out from under the deck and questioned with a frown. Something happened in Loguetown, that they were aware of. The wind was too great and they were moved back from the destination by quite a bit as if the very nature had decided to work against them at that moment.

"Don't know," Nami idly read through her newspaper, enjoying a moment of calm as the blue and clear sky served to improve everyone's mood. On the other hand, Nojiko leaned against the railing and watched the waves crash against the ship.

"I'm hungry!!" Alvida finally snapped!

"Then you have to wait. The kitchen is mine, and my first meal is for the captain," Carmen lay on the recliner face first in nothing but a pair of thongs as Alvida growled, "Listen here! I will eat if I wish to!"

"Beat it, Slipping Sludge," Carmen scoffed even after having witnessed Alvida's unreasonable strength, "I won't cook for you."

"I bet you don't even cook as good as the perverted cook Brody actually wanted!" Alvida sneered."

Carmen's eyes snapped open as she stood back up while wearing a gown to cover her naked body, "What did you say?" She shouted.

As they bickered, Nojiko sat down beside Nami, "How many times it has been already?"

"Eh, this is their fifth fight of the day already," Nami shrugged, "Here, good thing I stole some snacks from the kitchen."

She pulled a packet of potato chips from behind her as Nojiko ate it casually. The two weren't even hungry. They just ate to enjoy the entertainment in front of them.

"Tch! I'm going to see if Captain woke up or not!" Carmen scowled and walked past Alvida to push open the door to Brody's room only to find him sitting against the bed and watching the sea through the window while a woman lay her head on his lap and slept as the thin sheet covering her body suggested that she was naked, much like their captain.

"You're awake!" Carmen's eyes lit up and she wholly ignored the woman who fell on their ship with their captain.

"Hmm? Oh, Carmen, right?" Brody looked in her direction and smiled, "Give me a minute. I'll be out—"

Shoving and 'slipping' past Carmen, Alvida entered the room with a wide grin, "You're awak— Who's she?"

"Who are you talking about?" Nami and Nojiko entered with curious expressions as their voices stirred the woman sleeping on Brody's lap up. Her somewhat disheveled pink hair only managed to make her look more luscious as her naked form under the sheets... and HIS naked form under the sheets made their lips part in shock.

"Oh, morning everyone," the woman smiled before turning to look at Brody whose smile widened, "Morning, Captain~!" She purred and leaned up to peck his lips.

"EHHHH?!" Nami shouted.

---

"Everyone, this is Reiju Vinsmoke. My first crewmate and our Medic. We came to East Blue from North Blue by climbing something called the Red Line. Anyway, Reiju, meet Nami and Nojiko. Nami is our navigator and Nojiko is the Financial Officer. So, heh, you won't get a penny from me from now on," Brody was quite happy with the last part as he continued, "This is Alvida. I recruited her because she can slip. And this is Carmen, our cook!"

Brody introduced everyone to Reiju and vice versa as Carmen set a rather lavish-looking breakfast for everyone and while she certainly looked gentle and surprisingly kind while setting the dishes... they had unfortunately seen her cook and they had never seen someone peel a potato by raising their left leg all the way up and spinning around in such an exaggerated manner!

"I see we've already met," Reiju, the same woman with '0' shaped tattoos on her thighs smiled at Nojiko.

"Yeah," Nojiko sighed and was about to pick a piece of bread when their cook cleared their throat and glared at them coldly.

"Damn," Alvida scowled, "We can have introductions later. Brody, pick something to eat."

"Oh?" Brody blinked and then looked at Carmen, "Thanks, everything looks delicious!" Not waiting for her to respond, however, Brody picked a plate of pancakes and 'threw' it into his mouth before practically moaning with a muffled voice, "Shooo Goohhdd~!" His hands didn't stop as he picked another plate under their dumbstruck gazes. And then another. And then another one!

As if aware of what was to come, Reiju managed to 'salvage' a piece of bread that she promptly bit on to at least reduce that feeling of emptiness that made her stomach growl but it was too late for everyone else!

"Fuuuh~ Man that was good! Eh? Where's the rest of the breakfast?" Brody questioned with a smile as Carmen's lips quivered and her eyes, finally, teared up with her stomach growling, too, "That was... the entire ration of the ship!"

Brody felt the stares of his 'kind' crewmates, including Nojiko's, go cold and cruel as Brody blinked and touched his face before looking at Reiju, "Say, is something stuck on my teeth?"

"You're a jerk!" Nami hissed but that was the tamest of reactions while Nojiko whispered, "I won't feel hungry if I try and take some of his essence..."

"Damn it! Captain, it will hurt me more than it hurts you!" Alvida picked her mace.

"After that, make him fish for food!" Carmen's tears vanished and her temper grew fiery again.

"And that's why I told you not to have a crew only consisting of women... I'll patch you up later, Captain," Reiju whispered.

"Haha," however, with his only response being a laugh, Brody rubbed the back of his head, "Isn't it fine? The ocean has so much to offer! Lemme catch a sea king and we'll be fine~! They're delicious!"

"DON'T YOU LAUGH!!"

---

"Her physical strength was above 700 Doriki, Chapapa, but I couldn't get an accurate measure because she hit me with a mace instead... and instead of Brody, his crewmate ate the Devil Fruit that is identified as Aura Aura no Mi... but I believe she can't use it well at all, Chapa."

On an unknown island, the same green-haired man with a large body looked at two others resting under the canopy of a large tree.

"Man... so the ambush was destined to be a bust whether we went over Smoker's head or not... Dragon and Yu—"

"Yoiii!" A panicked call cut off the speaker, "Don't speak of the Devil's Name for he can be summoned!"

"O-Oh, forgot. Thanks. Still, the fact that we couldn't capture Brody or Reiju will be hard to explain... the only thing left is to capture that beast from the Warship Island."

"What about Unit 8?" The voice continued, "They're still yapping about that busted myth of Immortal Elixir or some shit from migrating Sennenryu Beasts... like hell it would be so easy. If Immortality was really that simple, all Sennenryu Beasts would have long disappeared from this world. But, we can use them. They can keep the parameters around Warship Island while you two can dive down and steal its egg..."

"How cruel, yoiii, to separate a mother from her child... But, if it is as delicious as described and is only born once a 1000 years, we must taste it, too!"

"Idiot," the person who seemed to be giving orders scoffed, "The moment they realize that agents like us tried to sneak away from the... God's Banquet, they'll have our heads!"

*Gero Gero* *Gero Gero*

A strange ringing voice cut off the conversation as the green-haired man picked the handle on top of a small snail and the snail's eyes suddenly shifted with one of its eyes covered by brass-like equipment, "Responding to earlier request coded H-23, No, the agency cannot dispatch further back up. Mercenaries under the agency's employment, too, can only secure the entrance of Grand Line."

"Tch," he placed the speaker handle back on the snail and its eyes closed.

"Hmm, I don't think we need back up," The previous, gruff voice remarked, "Just one of their member is strong and for the other one... heh, our names would be heavily discredited if we couldn't at least capture Vinsmoke Reiju after everything we've been provided. Initiate the Backup plan. We'll capture all three of the targets in Warship Island."

---

"See? I told you guys not to get angry so quickly," Brody grinned broadly as Carmen, now full, began crushing the giant skeletal structure that had been dried under the sun and storing it in glass containers. But...

"Lalalalala~" With one hammer caught between her lips, Carmen danced around and crushed the pieces as she hummed loudly. Her movements, again, exaggerated as she still wore nothing more than a gown, and the act of her stretching her legs without a care only showed off the fiery red thing under the thin, fitting gown.

"What are you doing?" He looked at Carmen who smiled widely, "Now that I am aware of your delightful appetite, I can't spare to throw any material away. The bones of sea kings serve to spice up the broth well and thicken it, too. Lalala~" She instantly continued on her work. Meanwhile, not far from them, Reiju, now wearing nothing but an oversized shirt that once belonged to Alvida, finally redid Nami's bandages and smiled, "There you go. The poison should work on your injuries quickly enough."

"Poison?" Nami blinked in surprise.

"Ah, another name of medicine, wouldn't you agree?" Reiju continued to smile as Nami deadpanned, "Hell, no!"

"And you two?" Brody looked at Nojiko doing squats with Alvida next to her but the former captain was gazing at Reiju intently.

"Training," Nojiko huffed, "If I get tired, I can use my devil fruit... but I have realized that the only way to not 'overeat' is to remain hungry enough at all times!"

"Besides," Alvida added, "I'm waiting for her to accept my challenge... the only one that can be the Vice-Captain of this crew is me!"

A little surprised, Reiju looked at Alvida, "Didn't I tell you that you can be the Vice Captain? I don't enjoy fighting so I would rather not enter a meaningless conflict. Besides, I'm the ship's medic."

"See, Captain?" Alvida scowled and looked at Brody, "She won't even—"

"Oh, it's alright," Brody chuckled, "You're the vice-captain now, Alvida. Take care of my crew members for me when I can't."

"That easy?!" Alvida gasped before she grew silent.

"I... You can trust me." Alvida nodded.

"Of course, I can! I just said it," Brody shrugged and looked at Reiju, "So... should we do that?"

Giggling in response, Reiju nodded, "Of course, we can~!"

And under the stunned gazes of the crew mates, Brody entered his cabin with Reiju.

Carmen dropped her hammers.

Nami clenched the newspaper in her hands.

Nojiko stopped squatting.

And Alvida, who thought she had just become the 'right hand' of the crew felt that she had taken all the responsibility with no benefits at all!