Steel and Mana

The next day, I was back on the Camelot, up in my room, or rather, flat on my bed. It was soft, pulling me in... No wonder, as it was warm, quiet, and most importantly, filled with the scent of Sasha and Mikan. Yeah... It was my little heaven in the winter, well, until I tried to move, sit up, or do anything, because then the two of them were there already, fussing over everything. I wasn't paralyzed, but they insisted on holding it for me while I had to pee. Girls... Please...

"I'm fine," I muttered for what had to be the fiftieth time that morning alone.

"You said that before you passed out," Sasha shot back at me, sitting on the edge of the bed with her arms folded. Yeah, I did black out, but it was only for what? Ten minutes? Half an hour...? Nothing, really. But, when I first told her that, she glared at me like she would strangle me if I repeated it... ever again. "Mikan said your vitals were spiking all over the charts!" she snorted, as if reading my thoughts, "And you looked the part, too."

"I told you, I just—"

"You just overdid it," Mikan interrupted softly from the other side, spooning another bite of chicken soup into my mouth before I could argue, silencing me that way, "And you're going to eat all of this. Every last spoon."

"I didn't say, I wouldn't," I sighed through my nose. "You know, I was a Sovereign last I checked."

"You aren't," Sasha said worriedly, reaching for my forehead. "You gave your spot to Arthur... don't you remember?"

"..." I do remember... I meant, in a sense, I was still one... damn it... Now she looks to be even more worried. Great job, Leon.

I glanced between them, letting it all go and just allowing them to pamper me. The funny part? They weren't wrong... The more I ate, the more I realized just how drained I really was. The hunger I felt when connected to the beast remained, but was turned into actual hunger because, apparently, my body burned through all its reserves. If anything, it would be a great way to slim down if I ever get a big belly. Huh. I'll keep that in mind! The only issue was the side effects, like my limbs ached like I'd run a marathon, while my mind was indeed groggy for the first half of the day, after I came out of my short, blank period.

"Your body temperature's still high," Mikan murmured, brushing her hand across my forehead after Sasha did, looking at her, signaling to take a look. "It's stabilizing now, but… Leon, that kind of strain isn't natural. You didn't just link with a monster, because as far as Merlin and I can tell, you fused with it, even if only for a moment."

"And that's why I will never let Arthur do the same," Sasha added dryly, "Leon was right, those Vasas are... sneaky. They should have warned Arthur more!"

"Maybe he could do it more easily," I spoke up, and I couldn't believe that I was defending them. "Hey," I muttered, "on the bright side, I didn't turn into a lizard. Cool!"

"Not funny," she said again, but I saw the corner of her mouth twitch, holding back a smile. "You would look horrible with scales... and a tail."

"I bet you a lot that next time will be easier," I grinned, "It's always the first that hurts the most."

"Keep talking, and I'll pour your soup on you." She snorted, watching as Mikan put another spoonful into my mouth.

"Still worth it."

Hours passed like that, in the end. My next few days were literally all about food, water, and rest. By the time the sun began setting outside for the third time, I finally felt like myself again. My strength was coming back, though I still felt a bit dizzy if I moved my head too quickly. Besides that mild vertigo, all was well and good.

"Don't move too quickly," Mikan said simply. "Your nervous system is still recalibrating from the neural strain, that is my belief, at least. Give it another day or two, okay? And watch where you go."

"I will be with you," Sasha added, crossing her arms again, this time with mine, "The last thing we need is you falling down and breaking your neck or something."

"Now you're just being dramatic," I grunted, glancing at her.

"Do you want to see what drama really looks like?"

"No, no, I get it." I raised both hands in surrender, but she kept clinging to me, "Point taken."

Luckily, I was improving a lot, so I could sit in a chair, with a mug of coffee in hand, in my office aboard the Camelot, when the door slid open and Merlin walked in. I almost asked if he also used the Prydwen while I was out or what, because his face looked half frozen, half caffeinated, and entirely too upbeat for someone who looked like he hadn't slept in forty hours.

"Oh, good," he said, stepping inside. "You're back to normal. Excellent! I just finished going over everything: dismantling the Prydwen, checking its parts, putting it back together, and refilling the blood tanks. Perfect, perfect!"

"Are you on drugs?" I asked, gesturing toward the chair before me while looking at Sasha, but she just shrugged, telling me she had no answer to that question either.

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"I'm on a big breakthrough!" He grinned and sat, slapping a bundle of notes onto the table, "The Prydwen, how I say this…" He trailed off, tapping his lips, his eyes moving back and forth.

"…the Prydwen what?" I asked, narrowing my eyes, seeing he was lost in his thoughts again.

"It's showing… changes," he said carefully, flipping open his notes. "I spent a full day scanning the runes and the blood-network on its surface. The core's stable, no monstrous contamination, no biological bleedthrough, which makes sense; they were inside beasts previously anyway... but the runes themselves have shifted. Very slightly."

"How slightly?" Sasha asked before I could.

"Microscopic level. For now. The base structures haven't been rewritten, but a handful of them indeed have changed shape. It's like they adjusted themselves under stress, taking up imprints from the monster's mind and the feedback."

"Whoa, just a moment," I frowned. "You mean, the runes evolved?"

"Not exactly. Think of it more like... A shift? Erosion? But directed erosion... Mutation? Mutation is better... Anyway! The energy feedback from the beast link was intense enough to warp the circulating channels and the connected runes on a tiny, tiny scale. If this keeps happening…"

"The machine will eventually break down," Sasha finished quietly.

"That, or it will change." Merlin nodded. "I don't know which would happen first, though. Or what kind of change would that be...? But I am sure that we're looking at a limited lifespan per mech. The more often it's used, the faster the degradation will occur and the more noticeable the changes will be. There's no known way to prevent it, unless we completely reforge the channels and every rune after every major battle, but that would also damage the alloys, weaken them, and result in the same... failure."

"Well," I exhaled, rubbing my temple, "at least we know the firewall works."

"That's the good news," Merlin said with a grin. "Instead of mutating the pilot, all that stress and corruption gets dumped into the mech's runes and the circulating blood. It's a one-way transfer, exactly as we wanted. You stay human; the machine takes the hit. Perfect! Only the blood canisters and the blood itself will need to be filtered and changed."

"How often?" I asked.

"For now, I think it's fine, but I would, for sure, advise doing a system flush and refill after every three or four activations."

"Huh, not that bad." I stared at the ceiling for a moment, mulling it over. "So, we built a disposable machine, huh? Damn, we are splurging money and resources!"

"Yes, eventually, every pilot will burn through their machine, but for what it achieves, it's great!" Merlin said, grinning from ear to ear.

"I agree. If this works even once on a large scale, it could prevent us from having another bloody battle, like the one against the Guardian. We can rebuild machines, but we can't resurrect the people..."

"That's not all," Merlin continued, pulling up another stack of papers. "There's another problem. The interface requires precision, I mean, in terms of thought. A proper, steely, strict, and disciplined mind. Anything less, and the monster would win..."

"Thank you." I smiled, enjoying the sudden compliment, as Sasha nudged me from behind.

"You handled it because your mind instinctively adapts to the structure of formations, probably thanks to your incredible memory." He continued, "But an average soldier? They'd burn out in seconds trying to establish the link. The synchronization demands… well, they're kind of insane."

"So what you're saying," I leaned forward, "is that it works perfectly only if the one we put into it is brainwashed enough to not get influenced by primal instincts."

"Pretty much," Merlin said cheerfully, which contradicted the seriousness of the situation. "So, if we want to train Knights who are capable of piloting this mech, we need a whole new training regimen that plays more onto psychological conditioning than bodily one."

"Haaah," I shrugged, "Do I need to develop some mental torture routines?"

"I'm afraid." He nodded, "Or at least, something that could be used to train people."

"..." Thinking about it, I leaned back again, closing my eyes. "So we need soldiers who can link without losing themselves, essentially people who can drown in the mind of a beast and come back without suffocating or getting broken by the experience. Am I going to psycho-condition my troops? Holy hell..."

"That's not something you can train into people in just a few drills," Sasha said quietly. "You'd have to rewire how they think, in the worst-case scenario, maybe even who they are. That sounds... dangerous."

"I wouldn't go that far," I said, patting her hand on my shoulder. "If this is going to work, we'll need a conditioning program, though... An extreme one. It must hit psychological, magical, maybe even physical reinforcement, all aimed at their brains. Whatever it takes to make sure they can maintain a stable identity under pressure, and we need constant oversight of them, and look for clues for developing split personalities and the like...."

"Hmmm," Merlin exhaled, rubbing his eyes, finally yawning once, "We could… start small. Volunteers only, explaining to them the risks and everything. Then, we can give them short exposure sessions, gradually increasing duration."

"And how do you want to do that?" I asked, "Capture a beast for testing purposes?"

"Eventually, yes." He said without flinching, "But, with Mikan's help, after all that happened to you, I believe that we can rig a similar spell, using the Prydwen's core to mimic the psychic pressure on the pilot. Just by following the shift in the runes on it, I can already come up with a matrix that will provide a similar experience, albeit weaker and less focused."

"That's a start, and I can see why you look like you were up for days," I said, watching him.

"I was mostly working in my sleep, too," He shrugged, "Turns out, I have a lot to talk about when something unique happens that catches my previous self's attention. I didn't know I couldn't shut up..."

"Welcome to our experience," Sasha joked, making Merlin pout a little.

"The real test will always be live combat." I continued, "We'll need to select one or two candidates and then also build more such machines... Haaah... We should start on it now, because we have little time for it, if the Vasas are right."

"I... Have a volunteer already." Merlin said suddenly, looking at me.

"Seltana?" I asked, making him shake his head.

"Lucca. I talked with him and he volunteered to try it. I think he is a good candidate! He not only has ample experience and a long life, but he is also focused, maybe the most focused amongst our people. He also told me that while he recovers from the effects, Seltana is well capable of running the Pride without his direct orders."

"I see..." I muttered, seeing his point. "Very well... Tell him that he will be given a chance to test your training procedures after you are done developing them. As for me, I will work out some... streamlined training methods. Haaah, I just hope those who go through it won't hold a grudge against me."

"Against their Sovereign?" Merlin smiled at me, "I don't think so."