Steam Era: The Lord of 'Puluo'

And then Li Banfeng woke up.

Such a lovely dream, and it ended just like that.

He couldn't remember most of what happened in the dream, but Li Banfeng knew it was a good one.

Seeing Li Banfeng's fierce gaze, Meng De shivered ceaselessly inside the Month Plate. "Sir, you woke up laughing from your dream! It's really not my fault. Madam, please say something!"

Li Banfeng wasn't in the mood to deal with Meng De. He still had to go out and capture Lost Souls. But the Phonograph called out to him, "Husband, go ask the Judge's Pen; he seems to have a way to deal with Foolish Cultivation."

What method could he possibly have? Li Banfeng wondered. Though, he did actually speak yesterday.

Li Banfeng picked up the Judge's Pen and earnestly sought its counsel. "Pen Bro, if you have a way out of the city, tell me. You surely don't want to be trapped in this place either."

The Judge's Pen took a long time to muster the will to express himself, yet he really didn't feel like speaking.

Guessing that it probably couldn't be explained in just a few words, Li Banfeng rephrased his question. "First, tell me, is the method I'm thinking of effective?"

"Too much," the Judge's Pen uttered, just two words.

Li Banfeng wasn't angry; he seriously pondered the meaning of these two words. "Are you saying I'm thinking too much, or doing too much?"

"Both."

"How is it too much?"

"A formidable person is watching."

What formidable person?

"Do you have a simpler method?"

"Sigh," the Judge's Pen sighed. After waiting for a good two and a half minutes, he uttered four words, "Fool's Thousand Concerns..."

Li Banfeng had heard this idiom before: 'A fool's thousand concerns may still yield one success.'

"But according to you, I'm still not thinking enough."

The Judge's Pen showed an indescribable helplessness. After waiting another two minutes, he said four more words, "Fear of gains and losses."

Fool's Thousand Concerns, fear of gains and losses? What kind of idiom is that?

"Pen Bro, I don't understand," Li Banfeng said.

The Judge's Pen said helplessly, "If you want to leave the city, just walk."

"I can't get out! If I could, would I even bother with all this effort?"

The Phonograph grew impatient. "Husband, it's Little Servant's fault. Don't ask him anymore. Let's get on with our business."

Li Banfeng, pushing the Windmill Phonograph, had just reached the doorway when he suddenly heard the Judge's Pen shout, "You dense fool, return my capital!"

Li Banfeng was taken aback that the Pen had suddenly said so much. What capital? Oh no!

Back in Hundred Vine Valley, the Judge's Pen had once moved Qiu Daxiang over a kilometer. He had always been too lazy to ask for his capital, but now he had suddenly spoken up. He had exerted a lot of effort back then. If he were to calculate the capital now, Li Banfeng would have to be lazy for a very long time.

What am I going to do?

"Pen Bro, let's discuss this. Wait until after I leave Fool's City, and then..."

It was too late. Li Banfeng was only halfway through speaking when he became too lazy to continue.

The Judge's Pen had already taken his capital back.

He turned back to look at his bed. Oh, how he wanted to lie down. If I could lie down, I shouldn't sit. No, I can't lie down. If I lie down now, who knows how long I might stay here.

The key was still outside. After yesterday's fight with the fortune-teller, Li Banfeng had carelessly tossed it into the abandoned house. Leaving it in the abandoned house wasn't a solution. Foolish Cultivation was so cunning; if he had an accomplice, they might just pick it up. No matter what, he had to go outside and check, or at the very least, switch the key's hiding place.

That damned Judge's Pen, picking today of all days to demand his capital! Damn it... Forget it, I'm too lazy to reprimand him.

Li Banfeng clenched his teeth and pushed the door open, turning back to glance at the Windmill Phonograph.

Push it out? Why bother? It's so heavy.

Li Banfeng left empty-handed, too lazy to bring a single Magical Treasure.

Once outside his room, Li Banfeng picked up the key and immediately wanted to go back and lie down again.

No, I have to find a place for the key first. Is there a good place inside this house? Since I have to guard against the fortune-teller's accomplices, I certainly can't hide the key inside the house. I should go out and look; maybe there's a good place outside.

Once outside the house, Li Banfeng looked around. The area outside the abandoned house was open and empty—not a good spot to hide a key.

Why am I always thinking about hiding the key? Wasn't I trying to get out of the city? The road ahead is wide. If I keep walking, can I just leave the city? How could there be such good luck? I hadn't been able to get out after two days of walking; how could I expect to leave by just wandering around? Forget it, I'd better go back and lie down.

Turning to look back at the abandoned house behind him, Li Banfeng hesitated again.

Since I'm already outside, I'm too lazy to go back. If I'm not going back, should I just keep walking forward? That seems pretty tiring too. How about I lie down right here?

...

Li Banfeng's willpower was still somewhat strong. He resisted the urge to lie down on the spot and sleep, walking straight ahead along the alley.

I want to get out of the city! I must get out of the city!

After a brief walk, the alley took a turn.

Leaving town should be a straight shot. Should I scale the wall? Forget it, climbing walls is too tiring. A small detour wouldn't matter much. I'll just follow this road.

Wandering aimlessly, Li Banfeng focused on combating his laziness, trying not to think about anything.

After passing through the alley and onto the main street, an old woman asked him, "Child, are you lost? Come have some water at auntie's."

Still trying to scam me with water? Don't you have anything new?

Li Banfeng walked on without uttering a word; he was too lazy to speak.

After a short walk, he saw that plaster seller again. "This is a secret family formula; it works with just one application. Friend, you've used my plasters before. Tell me, do they work or not?

"Friend, say something! If it doesn't work, I'll give you ten thousand. Let's go to my place to get the money right now!"

Your plaster is useless as hell! Go to your place for money, enter your house, and then you kill me? You think I'd fall for that?

Li Banfeng couldn't be bothered with him.

Up ahead, a street performer took a piece of paper, rubbed it in his hands, and turned it into a dove. With a FLAP, FLAP, it flew away.

The magician shouted at Li Banfeng, "I've got two tricks here, friend. Do you want to learn them?

"If you want to learn, give me a couple of coins as a tip, just for fun. If not, give me a round of applause to liven things up."

Li Banfeng was too lazy to watch him.

Not much further along, a man looking like a doctor, carrying a medicine chest, approached, "Friend, you have a mole on your face that brings misfortune to your parents. Let me remove it for you. It's just one dime."

Li Banfeng was too lazy to even curse at him.

I don't even know who my parents are, and you're telling me this.

...

There's a breakfast vendor up ahead who seems to recognize me. Should I take a detour? So what if he's seen me? Taking a detour is too bothersome. I won't!

Just a bit further is the Friendly Inn. Should I go around this time? No detour! It's because I kept taking pointless detours that I couldn't find the city gates! I refuse to believe those guys at the inn are still watching me! Even if they are, there's no need to fear. If I can beat them, I'll fight; if not, I'll run. Why bother with a detour?!

Just like that, after more than two hours of walking, Li Banfeng looked up and found himself at the city gates.

I'm out? Is this really it? Without thinking about anything, I made it out! This is too... Forget it, it doesn't matter.

Li Banfeng was too lazy to be happy.

He decided to sprint at full speed and leave this place immediately. However, after hesitating for a moment, Li Banfeng gave up.

Running is not an option. It's too exhausting. I'll just walk slowly.

His wife, the Phonograph, had said that there's only one Taoist Sect in the world that can restrain Foolish Cultivation, yet it is unable to battle it.

Could that Taoist Sect be the Lazy Cultivators? Is 'unable to battle' meant to be taken literally? It's not that Lazy Cultivators can't fight, but rather that they are too lazy to? Could that really be the case?

Li Banfeng was too lazy to think about it.

After walking for several miles, a middle-aged man was standing ahead.

Li Banfeng was too lazy to look at him, yet he felt the man looked somewhat familiar.

Who is it? Sun Tiecheng! The hunter! That son of a bitch! I was supposed to go to Iron Sheep Mountain, but he led me to Fool's City! After we entered the city, he even took me to that damn rip-off inn! I've suffered all this because of him, and he still has the nerve to wait for me here!

"You..." Li Banfeng glared at Sun Tiecheng and then continued on his way.

I'm too lazy to bother with him.

Sun Tiecheng still wore that honest, simple look. He called out to Li Banfeng, "Sir, please come over and have a word."

"No." Li Banfeng was too lazy to talk.

"Li Qi, you've passed my test."

He knows my name is Li Qi! What test is he talking about?

Li Banfeng was too lazy to ask.

"Li Qi, don't rush off. I have something good for you!"

Li Banfeng was too lazy to want it.

"Li Qi, wait!" Sun Tiecheng had somehow procured a bed and placed it in front of Li Banfeng.

This is just too wicked! You think I'd fall for your trick?

After struggling for a moment, Li Banfeng lay down on the bed, yawned, and said, "All right, speak."

PS: If you're hungry, eat. If you're sleepy, sleep. If you're tired, rest. If you want to leave the city, just walk out!

Lazy Cultivation is just that pure.