Stars Dancing [Dreams-To-Lovers Romance]

1

I laughed so much writing our story! I cried a lot too. Do you remember how hard we cried? When we were alone—together? We cried, and it felt like we would die. And we laughed. We laughed until we hurt.

Sometimes I remember what I've written, and I wake up in the middle of the night hysterical. It's so funny! And then I imagine the 9 Galaxies reading it in the days to come, and I think I'll never stop laughing. Making babies upside down? Prophetic rodents?

Will anyone ever believe it was all true? You always said that stories should have happy endings. So let's give them one. They're going to cry a lot. But we'll make them laugh. Let's make the whole fucking Known Cosmos laugh.

Then maybe, maybe, we will change the world.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2765)

For decades, the Known Cosmos Earth Press has brought you Stories of Shurwinn. Teasers. Tastes of what was to come.

Who were the mysterious Shurwinn? Why did they leave Earth? Did they have something to hide? And now, for the first time in history, the true story is ready to be revealed.

So, hold onto your hats, Earthens. For we give you the first, the only, English translation of the Ayela Arcana—straight from Shurwinn's Ayela Sanctuary and Retreat.

Who is Sibsil Creed? What is the Known Cosmos Earth Press? What happened to Ryst Nova?

While scholars debate if these events are fact or fantasy, we say: "Let the readers decide for themselves!"

But be ye wary, all you who turn these pages. For those who cross the threshold of the mysteries and walk the hallways of the arcana shall not walk away unscathed. For what is once seen cannot be unseen. And those who plunge these depths shall see their true selves.

So guard your hearts. And watch your backs—there are Warrior Nuns about!

And for gods' sakes, gird your loins! With chastity belts! And bug repellent!

NOTE: Our audience is everyday readers, not academics, so numerical values (dates, units of measure, time) have been translated into common English to preserve the flow of the storytellers. To those who take issue with our decision to do so, you are entitled to your opinion. In other words, "Fuck off." Yes, we mean you, Garren.

- Known Cosmos Earth Press, 2860

In the year 2334, the humans of Earth developed spacecraft that they thought would carry them out of Sol System. But they were surprised at what they found. When they reached the orbital plane of Neptune, a vast armada appeared, blocking their exit—a fleet of star liners too numerous to count, each waving a white flag of peace. The Earth ships received transmissions in English, Hindi, and Arabic: "This is a diplomatic retinue. May we meet for trade negations?"

And so the Earthens learned that beyond Sol was a collaboration of spheres, unified by a desire for peace. Nine Galaxies—populated by humans. There was no war. There were no governments; there were Trade Guilds—Manufacturing, Prison, Hospitality, Medica, Education, and so on. The 9 Galaxies operated on a corporate structure. If your business succeeded, you had prosperity. If your business fell out of favor with the Guilds, you had no Trade partners and floundered. Weapons manufacturing did not exist, for no one would purchase weapons, and no one would trade with anyone who made them. Murder was unheard of.

Earthens had to choose. They could adapt, form their own Trade Guild structure, and join the 9 Galaxies. They would be welcomed. They could Trade for sophisticated technology, allowing for faster cross-galactic travel. There was a Universal language, with many cognates in the Earthen languages. For whilst Earthens had thought themselves alone in the Cosmos, humans from the 9 Galaxies had been in their midst. The choice was up to them: change their sphere into Trade Guilds and partner with the 9 Galaxies, or remain isolated in Sol. For murderers were not allowed freedom of movement in the 9 Galaxies.

In 2337, Earth joined the Known Cosmos. This is the story of what followed.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2764)

The breath of life becomes words on a page.

Suggestion: Keep a journal next to you. Write down the questions you are asking when you read this book.

- Within and Without: A Tindin Journey With Erotica

I was floating, floating, and there was nothing. No eyes, no arms, no feet. Just nothing, always nothing. Something was pricking me. Pinching me. Pinching. Pinching. Harder. I gasped awake.

Journaling takes nothing and turns it into something. We shape the breath of life and give it form. Breath becomes words on a page where unseen can be seen.

- Within and Without: A Tindin Journey With Erotica

3

Tell the story.

Drip

by

drip.

Slowly.

Over a hundred years.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2764)

4

I'm afraid of outsiders. I like things that are predictable, but I don't get a lot of renters at the edge of the village. This one is so young. Paulo keeps coming by and watching the door. I think he wants to go inside. He doesn't leave when I approach. I can hear sobbing. I wait with Paulo. I pick him up and knock.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2779)

5

Some things don't have to be understood.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2766)

Dream Journal

There was light. And it was soft. Welcoming. And there was a man standing in front of me holding his arms open. I went to him and hugged him. I felt something I had never felt before. Home. I was home. It was comfort. It was peace. I belonged.

6

Dreams that are poetry.

Songs that are people.

To be more than one thing at a time.

The layers within words.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2772)

7

To look into a pool

so vast

so wide

so deep.

And find it was only

ever

always

an inch.

And in its shining surface

you saw you.

From my point of view.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2788)

8

Is it mean to torture our readers with hints?

Is it wrong that I like it?

It's a perverse pleasure.

Am I a sadist now?

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2780)

9

You are my muse, I sent him, playfully.

Hmmm, how much of a muse do you want me to be right now? I felt him say.

He was outside me, he filled me. Lips on my shoulder.

Is this erotica? I asked him.

Raised eyebrows. You have to ask? he did not say.

He continued. Pouring love onto me, into me, kissing my skin, and filling me. I felt it. Every soft press of his lips against my skin. I felt it. He filled me. Without and within.

- Within and Without: A Tindin Journey With Erotica

10

There's Graphics, and animations, and parodies, of course.

How can you tell a story without audiovisual?

With words alone?

That'll never work.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2772)

Dream Journal

All was dark except for the candle floating just out of reach in front of me. It was thin and long as my forearm. It was cream colored and warm and lit with a gently flickering flame. The light was a soft glow, and I wanted to reach out to it. As I stretched my hand towards it, I realized I was floating too. And then I was falling forward. And falling face down. Falling, falling, falling through fire. There was fire all around, and everything burned. It was scorching, and I needed to get away. I had to reach. I reached out. I reached and tried to grab. What could I hold on to? I was falling through fire and reaching, reaching. Then there was an arm around my waist, pulling my back against something cool. I was cool, and there was no fire. I was safe. I was safe. And the arm around my waist felt so good. So good. I was safe, and it felt good. I leaned back, and I was awake.

11

Oh, sands, my mind was BLOWN! I mean, she was Ryst Nova, and she was standing there in this unbelievable— well. Just watch it. Endless caricature fodder.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2768)

12

It all started with a song.

He sang it, of course.

And I finally understood what you both saw that no one else could see.

How big it was. And it was up to me.

The unseen was seen.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2772)

Dream Journal

I was walking through a crowded starliner. There were people everywhere. I was so tired. So tired, and everything was fog. I couldn't tell where I was supposed to be going. I needed to find something, but i was just so tired. If I could only lie down. There was a bench, and I sat down. I laid my head on someone's shoulder next to me and closed my eyes. It felt so good to rest. I felt a hand on my cheek, and I wasn't alone.

13

"Fuck me," she begged.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

14

He was just a stupid boy. Let him run to the off sphere by himself. I had to find Paulo. Stupid boys. Stupid off sphere. With her long twisty hair and everybody talking about her. Such an attention hog. Even Paulo went to see her. He slept on her hair! Gross! Where is he today? He's my mirka. Not some stupid off sphere's. He's not at Bennen's eating peppers. He's not at the sauna. Oh! There he is coming down monastery lane! I can feel him. He's so happy to see me! I'm happy too, Paulo! I found you! He says he wasn't lost and jumps into my arms. I'm not grumpy anymore.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2856)

15

Words

I hate words

Words

I love words

Words

Insufficient

Words

I'll hum instead

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2783)

16

I can't stop dreaming of a woman desperately begging me to fuck her.

What is wrong with me?

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

17

Entertain them now.

Affect them deeply.

So they keep looking.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2771)

18

She didn't know that we were family. I thought I should change that.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2778)

19

Dream Journal

There was a long corridor. I was walking down a long, beige hallway. There was nothing. Only the hallway. I was walking. I kept walking. There were stairs. I was going down the stairs. Down, down. Then the stairs disappeared. I was just falling strait down. My arms went out from my sides, and I was reaching. And I was slowing. I was slowing myself. I was lowering. Down. Lowering down. Slowly down. I could feel myself slowing myself and lowering myself slowly down. I was not falling. I was lowering myself down. Down. There were arms around my waist. There was someone behind me. He was wrapped around me. We were lowering down, down, down. We landed. Our feet touched solid ground.

20

It hurt to read your journals. Of those times that came before. Reading what happened.

From your point of view.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2786)

21

What becomes of the star-crossed lovers?

And who wrote the songs?

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2765)

One who likes the sound

of her own cleverness.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2782)

24

We were kissing. His tongue felt good. Lapping at mine this way.

I wanted him. My body hurt.

I love you, I felt him say.

I don't know what to do right now, I sent back.

"Just kiss me," he said.

"Do you want to?" I asked.

Do you want to come, I sent.

"You're sitting on my lap, kissing me, asking if I want to come?" he said.

Chuckling; I felt him laughing.

"Do you need me to?" I asked.

Stroke you until you release, I sent.

"Unh uh. No. Not if you can't come with me," he said.

Not while your body hurts you. I love you, I felt him say.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

Being hard. Wanting me? Needing me? Not doing anything about it? I sent.

No. It's just there, I felt him say.

"Let's just kiss," he said.

I decided. I could just kiss him today.

We decided. We could just kiss today.

It was okay.

I was okay.

We were okay.

- Within and Without: A Tindin Journey With Erotica

Dream Journal

There was nothing. There was nothing. There was nothing. I was there. I was there. I was there. There was a pond. There were ripples on the pond. I was on the pond. No, it was a wave. There was a wave, and I was on top of it. I was riding the wave. And it was a great wave. A tidal wave. As tall as the sky. And the wave crashed down.

I felt the earth shake.

My feet were on solid ground.

Something was coming.

I was running. I had to get away—I had to get away right now! Something grabbed my ankle, and I fell. My arm struck the ground and someone was on top of me, grabbing at my coat. I struck out with my arms—

RAW CHOCOLATE DROPS

1 cup raw macadamia nuts (sub walnuts or almonds, if preferred)

1/3 raw, fresh vanilla bean, cut into bits

15 pitted dates, torn into pieces

optional: 1/3 cup honey

1 tablespoon raw cocoa butter, diced

1/3 cup raw cacao powder

INSTRUCTIONS:

Add the macadamia nuts to a high speed blender and process until they start to turn smooth. We are making nut butter, so you'll need to scrape down the sides of the container.

Once the nuts are starting to turn buttery, add the vanilla bean, dates, and honey. Process until smooth.

Add the cocoa butter. Your nut mixture is likely going to be warm at this point which will help the cocoa butter to melt. Cocoa butter is ornery, and if it gets too warm, it will separate. If this happens, don't worry about it. Your chocolate will still taste amazing and have a lovely nougat texture. It will just be a little waste since once separated, the cocoa butter won't mix in with the rest of the ingredients. Yeah, it's a mess. We're experimenting here. Perfection isn't the goal.

Add cocoa powder and blend until mixed well.

Transfer chocolate to parchment paper or a silpat. Shape into an inch-thick little block with your fingers or the back of a spoon or spatula. Refrigerate for an hour or until cool. Slice into bite-sized drops of deliciousness. Store in a container the refrigerator.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2764)

25

I knew all the data points from her recon file, of course. Businesses, employment, known associates, education, public events. But who is the person in between the public records?

What is in all that space between?

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2778)

26

You'll listen to this song.

Over

and over

and over.

And never tire of it.

Every time

hearing something new.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2782)

27

The breath of life moves you. It creates you. You give it shape. Feel the breath.

Breathe it in, let it expand you. Feel the breath.

Let it fill you. Feel the breath.

The breath of life is within you. Feel the breath.

Let it rise. Let it fill you. Let it overflow. Feel the breath.

The breath of life is without. Feel the breath.

Feel it within you expanding out. Feel the breath.

It is in all things. A grain of sand. The rock beneath you. The tree trunk at your back. The flower petal nearby. The hum of the bee. The song of the bird. Feel the breath within you, without.

Let it fill you. Let it rise. Notice all things. Let it connect you to all that is. The breath animates all. Feel the breath.

Let your eyes close. What can you perceive? What do your ears hear? Buzzing insects? Crunching leaves? Whispering wind? Whirring motors? Children playing? Stretch beyond. The breath animates all. How far can you reach? What's the furthest thing you can hear? Do you perceive all? The breath animates all. Feel the breath.

- Within and Without: A Tindin Journey With Erotica

28

Do you know that "sibling" is an Earth word? You probably do now. I wonder if you knew back then. It's English. I'm learning English. And I'm getting really good at cussing. English has great cuss words.

Like 'fuck." I love the word "fuck." I'm adding it to the sex scenes. Do you think it's funny?

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2766)

29

You asked me to tell my story since I was there when it all started. But where do I start to tell the story of how everything changed? Did it start in the dining commons when I stood at the window watching her eating lunch outside and alone and decided to ask her if she disliked soup?

Or did it start when I asked her to dance?

And what of the moment that I asked her to be an acolyte? Is that when it all began?

But what of the times that came before? Did it start when she landed on Shurwinn sandstone? Or before when she was born on a sphere that showed her too little kindness?

How do you know where to begin a story like this?

Perhaps it all really changed the day she didn't show up to the dojo. I didn't find her that day or the next. Sorchen was the only one I could think of to ask because Sorchen had been the one to get Ryst to eat lunch in the dining commons. I had hoped she could help Ryst with whatever questions she had about The Art and Practice, but as I cleaned tables near them I only heard something about Paulo and nuns.

I never really liked Sorchen before that— sly Sorchen with her cunning look that said she knew something no one else knew. She fell short of arrogance. It was cavalier; yes, "cavalier" was the right word for her. As though she knew she was surrounded by small-mindedness and had decided not to care. But it was Sorchen who had broken past that Ryst barrier. Her aura of intellectualism and mystique had been just what Ryst needed to open up. So when Sorchen said Ryst needed a refrigerator and juice, I got the cooler. Glorian, Rillan, and the others who liked kitchen work gave me bottles of juice to fill it, and I took it to Ryst's room.

Gone was the warrior. She was a wilted version of herself. But I turned away because I knew Sorchen wasn't the only prideful woman there, and Ryst would not like me to see her weak and pitiful. But my glance caught something that speared me right through.

It wasn't pride in Sorchen's face. The way her hand pushed sweaty hair off forehead was mothering. This was a side of Sorchen we no longer saw, for she no longer had someone to mother.

I left the room soundlessly and closed the door. It wasn't the first time I wondered how to get Lirin to Ryst. But it wasn't until much later that I realized Lirin wasn't the best choice for Ryst then. She needed Sorchen first to soften her gently— with intellect first, and kindness next. She needed Lirin later— to fully welcome her home.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2857)

Ultimately, the Art of Cruxinglizt is choice. For nature is choice, and erotica is nature— a force of creation, which has no force in it. We choose to wield it and shape it. It is a force that exists, but it does not penetrate on its own.

The Practice of Cruxlinglizt is awareness, and becoming aware of the choice. We call this the Moment of Emptiness. Every encounter with erotica has a choice point.

Breathe the breath of life. Feel erotica. Allow it to fill you. Breathe it in. Desire floods you. Need stokes you. Observe the response of the body. Observe the response of the mind. Observe the response of the heart. The waves grow stronger. In the Moment of Emptiness, you have a choice. Will you allow the next wave to crest and pull you under? Or will you allow it to recede and continue your flow with erotica? There will be a next wave, and a next. You get to shape the time and nature of your release.

The Moment of Emptiness in musical terms is the caesura. Yet, there need not always be a crescendo and finale. With erotica, you may choose in the Moment of Emptiness to have denouement without climax. And so we have the Art of Cruxinglizt and the Practice of Cruxinglizt in one Moment. The moment of choice leads the body to open or close. You decide how open your womb is.

The presented exercises are designed to bring you into experience of erotica and self. For how can you know the Moment of Emptiness without knowing your own thoughts, feelings, desires, and pleasures? The solo practice is Art. The partner practice is Art.

Decide how open you want to be.

- The Art and Practice of Conception

Dream Journal

I was floating in a hot tub. No, there were waves. I was floating on the ocean waves. No, not an ocean. Light. Waves of golden light. I was floating, and they filled me. Those waves of golden light, without and within. Stoking everything inside me. Filling me. Delight. Desire. Fulfillment. Ecstasy. Wave after wave. He was there. He held me. He filled me. A wave began to crest. I felt him. I stopped thinking of my own need. I felt his chest beneath me, his breath rising and falling. The fullness of him inside me. He stilled, sensing my pause. I was trembling but realized the pause was the greatest bliss. And I had a choice to make— keep going or let this wave pull me under? I chose. I moved. The wave crested and crashed down. He filled me as I fell. And my mind was filled with golden light—glorious rapture. Bliss. The caesura— the great pause. I had felt it, and it had been bliss. Choice. Choice. Choice.

31

I'll see you when I get there.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories from Shurwinn (2859)

32

There are two worlds.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2788)

33

Poems that are memories

If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

Of things yet to come.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2769)

33

Journal

There was pleasure, and then there was need like I had never felt before. Had it worked? All those mantras from the Tindin sex manuals? Had they actually worked? "Your flower is the doorway of creation. Let the breath of life fill your flower." My flower was burning desire. No need. My flower was endless, aching need. No, not my flower, my belly, my throat, my hair, my self, my being. Desperate, wild, endless need. I would never get enough. There would only ever be this endless black hole of need. I was need.

Someone else was need. He was starving, and he couldn't stop. He was so hungry. It hurt. He couldn't stop.

I couldn't stop. It was ferocious.

He needed it now. I needed it now. We needed it now.

We broke.

And it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

Had I done it? Did he know? Had he been there?

Did we come undone—together?

34

I wish I could have been there.

When your worlds collided.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2778)

Dream Journal

I was light. It was pouring out of me. Glorious! Streaming. Flowing. Radiating. I was light, and it was so bright. So bright! I couldn't stop it. Just pouring out of me. Pouring and pouring. And I was expanding and expanding. I was reaching out. And out. And out.

He was there. Crashing into me.

We were stars.

We were stars.

We were stars!

35

Readers of Earth and its associated 9 Galaxies, we're back with the next volume from the Ayela Arcana!

What became of the star-crossed lovers?

Who wrote those songs?

And will the begging, pleading woman ever be satisfied!?

Read on to find out.

Be wary, dear readers, there is darkness ahead. Yet take heart, for it is in the darkest night that we see the most stars.

Let us not keep you waiting any longer! Plunge into those depths.

And we really mean it: PLUNGE.

NOTE: Our audience is everyday readers, not academics, so numerical values (dates, units of measure, time) have been translated into common English to preserve the flow of the storytellers. To those who take issue with our decision to do so, you are entitled to your opinion. In other words, "Fuck off." Yes, we still refer to you, Garren.

- Known Cosmos Earth Press, 2861

36

This is so weird. I don't know how to write this sort of thing. Writing for my job is easy. That's like pulling on pants, but writing the story of you and me and all we've done together? How did you write Within and Without? I'm no Sibsil Creed. But I think that you want me to write this story, so I'm going to try. I thought that if I started writing a letter to you, then it would be like talking to you, and I'd know what to write. And I think I'll just start telling you stories that you haven't heard before.

So I'm going to pretend that you're here and just asked me the question, "Hey, can you tell me a story I haven't heard before?"

"Sure. Let me tell you about the time I decided to kill your ex-husband."

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2767)

Dream Journal

I was the ocean. Movvvvving. Unnnnnndulating. Riiiiising. Faaaaaling. Uppppppp. Dooooooown.

Riiiiising. Riiiiiiising. I was cressssting. Mmmmmmmm. Faaaaaalllllllinnnnnng.

I came crashing down.

And there was churning. Churning. Thrashing.

And something was pulling me under. Seaweed. Seaweed was tangled around me. Or was it legs? Legs and arms.

Whispering against my skin. Touching me. There was a whisper—

And I was awake.

37

Her eyes were like nothing I've ever seen. Pale green with turquoise around the irises. She was reserved, but had a hint of something wild in her that was wanting to break free. And if it did, it would pour from those eyes.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2776)

38

The first time she came back, she wanted "sex kitten." With her figure, it would be better for a man's eyes to see less skin, more clothing— so he'd want to take it off. Yes, she'd blow their minds.

The world would see her. She was a wildfire, and I made sure she dressed the part.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2776)

Ryst's Uncooked Mushroom Curry

- 1/2 cup raw cashews

- 4 cups fresh tomatoes

- 1 teaspoon granulated garlic

- 3 tablespoons dried minced onion

- 1 teaspoon fresh ginger, peeled and cubed

- 1 teaspoon cumin seeds

- 3/4 teaspoon red kashmiri chili powder or pinch of cayenne pepper

- 1/4 teaspoon sea salt

- 1/4 teaspoon turmeric

- 1 teaspoon garam masala

- 1 teaspoon ground coriander

- 6 ounces green peas

- 2 cups white button mushrooms

- 1 large or 2 small zucchini, chopped into 1/2 inch chunks

- 1 teaspoon dried fenugreek leaves

- 1/2 cup chopped cilantro

- You can eat the curry cold, but I prefer it warm. So, preheat your oven for only 4 minutes. Then turn the oven off. Turn the oven light on, because it will give off warmth. You don't want your oven hotter than 100 degrees. You can also use a food dehydrator to warm the final dish.

- Cover the cashews with water and soak overnight. If you are short on time, soak them at least an hour. When you're ready to prepare the curry, strain off 2/3 of the water.

- Wash mushrooms, and remove stems. Break them into bite- sized chunks. If you have time, put them in the sun to boost their vitamin D levels.

- Put the cashews, tomatoes, garlic, onion, ginger, cumin, chili powder, salt, turmeric, garam masala, and coriander in a high speed blender.

- Blend for 1 minute or until creamy and the gravy is beginning to warm to the touch.

- Put the mushrooms, zucchini, and peas in a large serving dish. Stir in the tomato gravy and fenugreek. Garnish with cilantro. Put the dish in your preheated oven for around 20 minutes to gently warm it while you clean up your kitchen. Serves 4.

39

Will I be a song?

And stay with you

A breeze

The hum of bees

The morning bird?

I'll be a song

And kiss your skin

And fill you

And flow with you

For always.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2790)

Dream Journal

There was thunder. It was rumbling. Rumbling. Everything was shaking. And moving. And I was running. I had to get away! There was a door. I saw the doorknob. It was my house— no, not my house, my mother's house. I reached for the doorknob. No! Not that house! Not that way! Run. I turned to run. There was a terrace. There was snow. I ran through snow. My barefeet were sliding. I was slipping. The terrace crumbled. There was an avalanche. I was falling. I would be buried. I had to get away. I reached. I reached for something. I had to grab hold.

An arm caught mine. He pulled me to him. Everything was still. And warm. I was okay. He held me. There were words. I didn't know them. Words. Comforting words. "Melthena."

40

I figured that since I had to suffer all the crying when I read your journals, I could take liberties with translation. Did I mention that I like the English word, "fuck?" That word is frequent. It's an appropriate word, don't you think?

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2766)

41

Sleeping, but awake.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2783)

Dream Journal

There was a huge building-sized chessboard in front of me. It was all very black. There were blobs on it— all the chess pieces were black and the figures looked melted in piles. Like each piece was made of black melty tar and was stuck to the others. But someone was still playing the game. I asked how they were playing with the pieces all melted like that in piles. A male voice spoke audibly, "This is speed chess." But the meaning I felt him say was, This game was broken when you refused to play by the rules. But the game isn't over. Your choices led you here, and you're still playing the game, even if the old rules no longer apply.

42

She's begging me again. Begging me to fuck her.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

Dream Journal

Something prickled at me, bothering me, and I didn't know what it was. I needed out. I needed space. I needed to stretch out.

I was walking. I didn't know where. I needed to be up. To be out. To stretch out.

There was a path. Behind a garden. It was stony and sandy and brown and hot. I kept walking. Going up. Not a mountain. Not like my home world, full of mountains and snow and cold and damp. Just a rise, a bit of height. So I could see out and stretch. And let go.

There was a bench beneath two palm trees. Shade from the high sun above. Shade in the desert. Heat— and protection from it. I sat down, with my legs crossed and intertwined. I closed my eyes and breathed. In. And out. In and out. I was stretching. I was so vast. I moved beyond. I loved the desert. It went on forever. And something inside me wanted out. It wanted to stretch and stretch and stretch across the desert. I was at home there in the desert. Home. I felt it pulling me. Home across the desert. Home. To the west. In the desert. But not the desert. Home.

43

Am I an animal?

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

44

What a game! This is glorious! Will they figure out it's me, do you think?

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2782)

Erotica is a force of nature. Nature animates all things. Nature wishes to live. The breath of life animates. Erotica is sensual but not always sexual. Connect to erotica and you connect to the force of nature. Life springs from erotica through the intention of the forms that shape it.

- The Art and Practice of Conception

45

I was kissing him. Tasting his tongue was always so good.

I love you, I sent to him, with my body, my being.

I love you, I felt him say with his mind, his being. With all of him wrapped around me, wrapped within me.

Let's just kiss. Your body hurts, I felt him say.

Yes, just kiss me, I sent back.

We kissed. His need surged. He kissed me deeper. Longing surged. I reached for him, down his body, for what it wanted.

He stopped. Held still.

Beloved? I sent to him. I felt his being sad, so sad. My darling! My love! He was moving away from me. Stop this! Do. Not. Run. Away. From. Me. Do not leave me alone! I love you. It doesn't matter if there's pain. I can feel joy and pain at the same time!

I was pulling him to me, my fingers digging into the back of his neck. He was sorrow. I felt how much grief he felt. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to do what I needed him to do.

Right now, I need you to be yourself! My love! Please. Be yourself! Don't hide from me. If we're going to be together, then let's be together. Not holding our feelings apart. Be fully together with me, love. My body is weak, but I am not! I am stronger than ten thousand suns! I can hold us both. You don't always have to be the strong one. Be with me. I want all of you, not just the strong parts.

He was sobbing into my neck.

I held him.

He was desire and need.

Yes? I asked. I showed him my hand around his arousal. I felt his being nod agreement. It didn't take much. I felt it all. Everything he felt. It was his release, but I felt it as my own. He relaxed in my arms, and his whole self let out a sigh.

I didn't know it, but I needed this. I just needed to be close to you. I'm sorry I didn't know, I felt him say.

I shook my head at him. Neither of us knows. We're making this up as we go. This is a path that has no directions. There's no map. But we have to be fully together if we're going to go down this road. Can we agree not to hide from each other? I sent back.

Yes. He nudged at me, do you want me to do something about it? I felt him say.

Yes. I showed him what I wanted, for him to touch me. I was tired. So tired. But I still wanted to be with him. To feel my desire for him. To feel him touching me.

But you don't want to finish? Just me to touch you? Kiss down your body? He made sure.

Yes, please, love. My body showed him what it needed. He did what it wanted. Until I was too tired, and pulled him to me. Holding him. Feeling how good it felt to be close to him. Feeling surprised that it was okay not to release, to just need and want, and be touched for a little while.

That was what I needed. I'm sorry I didn't know. Didn't understand. I just needed to feel close to you for a while. To be with you. Completely, I sent him.

His being nodded to me. Yes, to be close. Not apart. To share something together. Even if it's different and not wild passion. It's still love making, isn't it? Even though it's different?

I love you, I sent him.

I love you too, I felt him say.

I love you, we both felt.

And it was one voice, two people. One song, two notes.

I held him, and he held me. Two bodies. One being.

We relaxed. We knew no more.

- Within and Without: A Tindin Journey With Erotica

46

She is pleading again

Begging me to fuck her

It's agony

I can't do this

I can't let go

She needs me

I can't

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

47

From every teardrop

something new is born.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2788)

48

Purple

In a raindrop

On a rosebush

In the sky

Purple

Up above

In my eye

Purple

Did she know

Did she see

Did she care

Purple

Just one touch

And it stained.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2772)

49

"Three Fourths Bushel"

Ten planks of wood

Bailing wire

A crate or a person?

Boxes conceal

Boxes constrict

A crate or a person?

Just a fragile shell

Peek under the lid

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

51

She was a storm

She was a blaze

She was the unnavigable ocean depths

She was churning

She took everything and shook it

Nothing would ever be the same again

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2783)

56

"Harder,"

she begged.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

57

A song so beautiful

you weep.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2765)

Dream Journal

There were leaves. Autumn leaves—autumn! Autumn was a distant memory. Burnt red leaves slowly drifting in sunlight. Glowing red. Red-orange. Maple leaves. Drifting down, and down, and down. Falling slowly, gently. Like puffy snowflakes. Falling from the sky. Slowly. Down. It was golden too. In the background, and on the ground. Golden leaves, I thought. Ginko and maple. A backdrop of gold. A carpet of gold. With red leaves falling down.

My eyes popped open. Everything was foggy and hazy. So tired. If I could just keep my eyes closed for a bit. I wasn't so sore. Just tired. My mouth felt parched. So tired. Could I get up? The dream, I thought with a smile. Golden leaves of ginko and maple and red maples floating down in leafy contentedness. It had been so peaceful. A good dream. My thoughts drifted. Someone was with me, laughing in fits.

I did it! I did it! I felt him say. Jubilant! He was jubilant! And laughing hysterically and — WHAT?

My nose was against his neck, and my arms were wrapped around his neck.

He was laughing so hard, not at me, but at the situation. Something was so funny. What? Me kissing his neck?

No, I felt him laughing. It's working. It's really working! I felt him laughing. And he was soooo turned on, but laughing at it.

What was going on? And I suddenly knew. He was, what? Crouched on the floor? Stroking himself? And laughing in fits? I was laughing too. I couldn't help it. He was doing this to himself to try to find me, and he was ecstatic that it was working.

I'm gonna help, I teased him.

I looked down. There was a dark brown hand in a fist. I reached out my hand to grasp it—

Chef Amran's Cheddar Spread and Sauce

INGREDIENTS:

- 2 dried shiitake mushrooms

- 2 cups raw cashews

- 1/2 teaspoon garlic granules

- 1 teaspoon dried minced onion

- 1/2 teaspoon sea salt

- 1 dried guajillo chile (or sub 1/2 small chile de arbol or other dried red chile. We want the color, but not heat.)

- 1-5 capsules of probiotics. For quicker cheese culturing, you want 15,000 colony forming units (CFU) of probiotics. So, if your probiotic only has 5,000 CFU, use 3 capsules. You can use one capsule, but it will take longer for the cheese to get the tangy flavor of sharp cheddar.

- 1-2 zucchini for noodles. And optional garnish of green onion and chopped tomatoes.

CHEDDAR INSTRUCTIONS:

- Place the mushrooms and cashews in a bowl and cover with water. Allow to soak overnight.

- When ready to prepare cheese, drain half the water off of the cashews.

- Remove stem and seeds from guajillo chile and discard. Slice the chile into strips with kitchen scissors or a knife.

- Add mushrooms, cashews, garlic, onion, salt, chile, and probiotics to a high speed blender. Open the capsules of probiotics and dump the powder in the blender. Discard the empty capsules.

- Blend until the mixture is completely creamy and starts to get warm— usually about 1-2 minutes. Scrape down the sides if needed and add a tablespoon of water at a time if it is too thick to blend.

- Transfer cheese to a bowl and cover with either a cheesecloth, a tea towel, or a paper towel. Secure the cover with a rubber band. You want the probiotics to get oxygen from the air, so DO NOT COVER IT WITH A LID. Leave it sitting out on the kitchen counter for 24 hours. Then put it in the fridge for 3-7 days to sharpen. The longer it sits, the sharper the flavor. Never cover it with a lid. It needs to breathe. A dry crust may form on the top. Just scrape it off and add water to it to rehydrate it or eat it straight— it's cheese, people!

- The cheese will thicken as it cultures and will become a thick cheddar spread. You can thin it with as much water as you would like to make a dairy-free cheese sauce or dressing.

CHEF'S NOTES:

- Ryst's favorite variation: For zucchini noodles, thin with a little water, and add two dashes garlic powder, 3/4 teaspoon chili powder, a dash of cayenne pepper, a dash of sea salt, 1/2 cup cilantro, 1/2 cup sliced button mushrooms and 1/2 cup thawed peas.

- Peydran's favorite variation: For zucchini noodles, add 1/2 pressed fresh garlic clove, 3 dashes sea salt, 1 tablespoon fresh sliced basil, 1/4 teaspoon oregano, and extra tomatoes.

- Chef's favorite: Make a peppercorn dressing by thinning 4 tablespoons cheddar with 1-2 teaspoons water. Add 1/8 teaspoon sea salt, 2 dashes garlic granules, 2 dashes kelp granules, and 1/2 teaspoon coarse-ground black pepper. Drench lettuce with it— it's the only way to make lettuce taste edible. Make sure to have a bottle of peppercorn dressing ready to go in case of emergency trips to J's Ale House. Oh, wait, why am I lying? No one will see this. The truth? All those "salads" at J's? As soon as Ryst and Peydran left, J brought out pints, a crusty sourdough, and bowls of linguine. We downed the best ale in Media and slathered bread with cheddar spread, then drowned linguine in peppercorn dressing and ate it hot. Good times, those were. Raise a glass to J!

- Sibsil Creed, Stories from Shurwinn (2844)

58

I can't leave her begging

Pleading

Panting for me

She needs me to fuck her

I can't

This need

This hunger inside me

It will destroy

It's all consuming

It's terror

It's a raging animal wanting to be unchained

I can't

I can't let this out. Not with her. Not this way. Not ever.

What do I do?

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

59

Dream Journal

A crowded shopping mall— building of concrete, metal, and glass. Five stories with balconies all around, and people. There were people all around me, crashing into me. Crowds and crowds of people, all pressing in. I had to get away! I started running, slipping around the crowds of people. I saw an escalator going up. No one was on it. I stepped onto the escalator and started going up. But it stopped. So I tried running up the steps of the escalator, and it turned into a slide. I slipped down, rushing down the slide. I was falling and flailing and reaching out to grab onto something. My hands slipped. My socked feet slipped. I reached. Two arms wrapped around me from behind. All was still and quiet. I struggled, panting. Safe. Safe now. Safe now, love, I felt him say. I held still. I didn't want to move. I didn't want him to disappear. He was murmuring soothing words. Safe now. All safe. I've got you, I felt him say. I relaxed against him. Closed my eyes—

60

Pot.

Lid.

Kettle.

Drum.

Strands.

Chord.

Two

in

one.

Lovers are never separate.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

61

Dreams that are memories.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

He was nipping at my neck playfully. Playfully! You're playing with me? I sent him.

He was laughing into my neck. I'm in bed with the woman I love, why wouldn't I be playful? I felt him say.

He was nipping at my neck, playing with me. I felt his happiness. There was tall brown grass around us, swaying in the breeze. I heard the susserating grass. He looked around. There was a breeze stirring the grass. We laid back. We felt the breeze in the grass. Swaying, moving. Back and forth. Back and forth. Swaying. Swaying. Back and forth. It was a rhythm. Back and forth. We were movement. Swaying. Back and forth. Movement. Rhythm. Back and forth. We were a song! We were a song! We were a song!

Alive!

Alive!

Alive!

We sang.

- Within and Without: A Journey with Tindin Erotica

62

Dream Journal

There was a box outside my house. It was an oxygen box. No, it was an electrical box. There were wires everywhere. In the ground. In the sky. And current. Electrical current. Pressure! Pressure in my brain! All the current in the wires! It was too much pressure, pushing down on my brain! It was going to explode my ears! I covered my ears with my hands so they wouldn't explode.

There were no more wires. No more electrical box. It was just my brain. It was a current. It was in my brain, and it was outside my body. I could feel current all along the outside of my skin. It didn't touch me. I just knew it was there. A current in my brain and a current swirling around me. Like light, but more solid. All flowing about. Inside. Outside. Flowing about.

63

I danced with you among stars

long before we met.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2779)

65

"I'm so sick of celibacy I'm turning as purple as my shirt."

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2781)

Dream Journal

I was in a very tall hotel. A building. A starliner was coming. I could see it coming. I was outside the tall building. I was the starliner. I struck the building. Then I wasn't the starliner, I was me, inside the building, I could see it coming. It would hit the building. I felt the impact. Everything shuddered. The walls melted. The walls were candlewax, dripping. Everything melted. It was wax melting. It was sand. It was sand rushing, gushing, flowing sand. Moving out. It was rushing like a stream— out. And I was on top of it— a rushing river of sand. Being pushed forward. I was standing on a grey desert. It was cold. My feet were bare. I wore a thin dress. My feet were on cold, solid ground. But it was a grey desert. Something stretched around me. Then it was brown sand. Brown sand all around me. The ground collapsed. Everything crumbled. I fell through darkness. I reached out. It was green. There were green leaves. I was rushing past them, going down. There was solid ground. It smelled fresh. Something grew. I was growing up. I was a tree. I could feel the sky above. There was breath. Breath within my trunk. I had branches, reaching to the sky. The sky was above. It was dark. There were stars. I could reach them. I had branches. My branches touched the stars. I could feel them. In my branches. In my trunk. In my being. I knew the stars. They were mine. The stars felt me. The knew me. I was a tree. An infinity tree. With branches. Full of stars. They knew me. I was theirs, and they were mine. All of the stars. With me and not me. I was theirs. They were mine. In my branches. Reaching out. Every star. I was theirs, and they were mine. We were friends. We knew each other. Love! Love! Love! Love! Love! I was full. So full! So much love! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

66

"Say My Name"

Say my name, baby.

Say it again.

Over and over.

And never stop.

I hum for you.

You hear me.

Your voice

It's the breeze.

Say my name, baby.

Say it again.

Over and over.

And never stop.

I'll hum

against your hair

Say my name.

Say it again.

Over and over.

And never stop, baby

Your name

A whisper on my lips

Say my name.

Say it again.

Tell me to never stop.

I'll never stop, baby.

I felt

you there.

It's not

only a dream.

Your voice

A breeze

A whisper

against my skin.

Say my name.

Say it again.

Over and over.

And never stop, baby.

I felt

your need.

I know

you hear me.

It's not

only a dream.

Say my name.

Say it again.

Over and over.

And never stop.

It's not

only a dream.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

Ahtah,

I'm going to switch to writing to you in Universal so my mind gets programmed to talk to you this way. I started journaling in Shurwinn for learning the language, but I think if we keep trying, maybe we can give each other clues in our dreams. So, I'm going to try to remember to use Universal when I'm asleep. You said "Melthena." I can't find it as a language, but I did feel the intention: it was a term of endearment. So, try again. Try saying something I can understand.

The thing is, I don't think I really say words to you. I think I'm always just feeling in your direction. Like it's just understood between us and words aren't necessary. That's what happened with Denten when we were sparring. I don't think we ever actually used words when we had our mental conversation about The Art and Practice of Tindin Erotica. It's so confusing trying to figure out this "Talent." I mean, what am I actually even doing? It's more than hearing thoughts. It's more than hearing feelings. It's more like I'm actually merging myself with another person. I can feel what they feel, and I just know what they think.

So, what happened to me in that coma to make me this way? All the dreams. They're more than dreams; I'm sure of it. And all those encounters with you that happen when I am awake. It's always when I'm in a dreamy state— like when I was in the hot tub or when I first wake up. I'm still partly asleep, but awake. I'm drifting off mentally. And are you actually there in those intimate moments? When we're trying to figure out how to make love when I feel so bad? It seems so real to me, but I don't know if I'm partly making it up just to feel connected to you, or if it's part of the erotic fantasy. But how fantastical is it to imagine being with a lover when your body hurts? That makes no sense; that's a stupid fantasy. So, what is it that is happening? Are you actually there? And why can't we just tell each other our contact information or something? Everything is always so vague. It's rarely words, right? It's feelings; emotion. You're not sad anymore, so that is good. I just keep feeling from you how much you love me, or how happy you are in that moment to be with me. You feel so content just to be with me. I love you too, Ahtah. And I'm going to keep working on this. Keep figuring out this Talent— why I am the way I am. Because I don't want to keep doing this without you.

Ahtah,

I'm dancing again, and it's wonderful! I don't mean sparring, I mean real dancing. Sorchen found me a teacher so I could learn all the Shurwinn ballroom dances. They are similar to Starlend, so that was easy to pick up, but there's this wonderful traditional tribal dance here that is more fun than anything I could imagine— Bhangra! The music is so rhythmic you can't help but bounce. Dohl drums! Tonight I danced with Jasen at Alen's wedding. I had feared that partner dancing would overwhelm my Talent, but I think I'm doing better at not merging with other people. I still pick up thoughts and feelings, but I seem to have more control now. I wonder if that's because I really only want to be that intimate with you?

Ahtah,

When I was in the shower I had a lot of great ideas about my Talent, but they are slipping away. So, I'm going to try writing down as much as I can and see if I can trigger the memories. I write everything down so I can keep track of any possible clues. All the dreams. All the intimate moments that happen when I'm mostly awake, but still drowsy. Oh yeah! I remember: when I'm partly asleep, partly awake, I feel like I'm somewhere else. Like when I was in the coma, I was in a Temple on Earth. So, where was my mind then? I really don't think that it's all my own brain doing this— giving me images to process during sleep. It's not just re-hashing events from my life.

It's more like memories of things to come.

So, what if, when I was in the coma, I went to another place that isn't the 9 Galaxies? That's beyond? Like there were 2 pillars— were they a threshold? A doorway to somewhere else? Because there HAS to be something better! I know that feeling of home I had when I first dreamt of you, and that feeling isn't something that's here in the 9 Galaxies. I'm convinced more and more all the time that the 9 Galaxies aren't the sum total of all creation. That there IS someplace that is better, and that we can't get there with more advanced technology. Somewhere people aren't constantly suffering. Where it feels good to be alive. Where I can feel good being alive. I don't know how to get there, but I think it's beyond the 9 Galaxies. And I think I touched it when I was in the coma, and I think I keep touching it now. It's like my feet are on Shurwinn sandstone, but my brain is somewhere else. And that somewhere is something I touched when I was unconscious, and I keep reaching for it and reaching for it because I know that it is there. Even though I don't understand it.

It's like Chaludra. She didn't know that she was on a quest. It wasn't until Kitty found the third Sibylline Sister that they realized the quest for the Sibyls had turned the three young women into Warrior Priestesses who could take up the positions of Sibylline Sisters in the Lone Rock Monastery. That wasn't something that any of them set out to do, it just happened because they lived their lives and kept making the choices to keep going on a path they didn't understand. I feel like that's happening to me too. So, I'm going to keep going.

It would be nice, though, if I had some Sibylline Sisters to talk to. I don't think there's anyone who can understand me. Peydran, yes, he is right here with me, but he isn't like me. He doesn't stare into space and feel some tangled up ball of ideas, something too big to perceive pushing down on him! It's crazy! No one else is merging their mind with other people and knowing their most intimate feelings and thoughts. So, why am I? Is that part of the other world? The one I went to in the coma? Is that what people are like there? We just are always sensing each other, and we don't have to speak aloud? Like it is with you and me in our shared dreams or the erotic experiences?

Is that what is normal and the 9 Galaxies are abnormal? Because here all we do is hurt each other, and we could never be in the brain merge with each other because we can't trust each other. I know that's why Peydran reached out to me when he woke up from his surgery— he was horrified, and his inner self needed someone to grab onto. It was instinctual. He trusted me, and he reached out to grab onto something as he was falling into hell. Is that kind of connection who we are really supposed to be?

And how do I use this? How do I use it to find you? I'm going to keep trying. I'll keep writing and dreaming and imagining that I'm with you. And we will do this. I am coming for you. But, can you give me some clues, love?

Ahtah,

I think I have a new favorite dream. We were dancing. We were so in sync. Your body knew mine, and my spirit danced with yours. I don't even think there was music. It was just flowing, moving synchronicity among the stars. You were there. I know you were. You are an amazing dancer, Ahtah. Amazing. I love you. See you soon.

Ahtah,

I keep reading my journals again and again trying to find hidden clues. I think I stumbled on something just now. I had a dream— it was after Peydran showed me how he had hacked the relay in his brain so he could control more than the augment with it.

There were no more wires. No more electrical box. It was just my brain. It was a current. It was in my brain, and it was outside my body. I could feel current all along the outside of my skin. It didn't touch me. I just knew it was there. A current in my brain, and a current swirling around me. Like light, but more solid. All flowing about. Inside. Outside. Flowing about.1

Are the extra senses that I have because the electrical field of the brain and the nerves is actually extending beyond the tissue of our bodies? Is that why I can sense the building, the desert, and everything beyond? Because it's just one big electrical field that is both in our bodies and extending outside of it? I mean, lightning is electricity that isn't visible until it coalesces. It's there, even when we can't see it. So, are we all sort of like that?

Do you think that the wireless technology signals are a kind of imitation of our human connections? Are you and I sending information to each other over vast distances like wireless communications? Are there electrical currents everywhere all around us that we aren't aware of because we are used to being disconnected from all that is? I'm not sure I understand this completely, but when I let my mind drift, it makes an odd kind of sense to me. Our brains are electrical and our nerves, and our hearts. All of these things can be measured scientifically. And the planet has it's own type of electrical current— grounding.

Is that what is happening with the mystical force of erotica.? Is erotica really just an electrical field that we are all connected to through our own individual electrical fields? What if this is more than just a mystical phenomenon? What are we actually breathing in when we breathe in the breath of life, the mystical force of erotica? Are we just connecting our own electrical field— the electrical field of our brains and nervous systems and hearts to the electrical field that is all of reality? What if it isn't just mystical? Is that why all my senses are heightened? Even orgasms are so much more than anything I knew before. Is that related to the electrical signals — my nerves are receiving a new set of instructions now that they didn't have before? So it's much more sensation?

So, what if— we are really all supposed to be able to communicate with each other without devices or even vocal cords? What do you think? What if I'm not an exception? What if I'm the normal one, and everyone else is abnormal? Is that arrogant?

I don't want to be merged to other people the way they are now. But if there's a place beyond the 9 Galaxies where humans aren't hurting each other all of the time, wouldn't it make sense that communication is more of a flowing together? Just one big communication system that doesn't require machines? Have we inadvertently built machines to do what we could naturally do ourselves if we were more connected within and without?

Ahtah!

You were here just now! What was it like for you, love? I can't wait to see you in person to know. Here's what happened to me: I had just woken up and was in that sleepy morning state just drifting. I don't even remember what I was thinking about. But I wasn't dreaming. I was awake! And I wasn't feeling particularly erotic until all of a sudden there was a presence with me who was turned on and saying without words:

Let me. And just touching me in all the right places! At first I wasn't even touching myself; it was like I was actually feeling fingers that were male touching me exactly the way I wanted. And then my mind kicked in and wanted to take over, but you were so calm and relaxed and just said Let me again without words. And then I understood your intention. You wanted to feel everything. You didn't need me to tell you what to do because you felt what my body felt and you knew how it wanted to be touched. And you LIKED it! You liked feeling what a woman feels when she is turned on. You were feeling what it felt like to be a woman, weren't you!?!!? Did you like it, my love? Haaaaaa! Of course you liked it— you were totally lost in it yourself, I know. Wow, Ahtah. Let's do that sometime again soon.

Ahtah,

Only two weeks 'til I move into my new home in Centre Oasis. Can you believe we built a new village? It's still stunning to me, but it's one of those things that feels absolutely right. From the very first moment Peydran and I got the ideas, everything has fallen into place. We've had hiccoughs, sure, but every single time, things come together. Far more quickly than I could have imagined.

I can't wait to be in my new casita— it's small, not much bigger than a large apartment, but it has a big terrace that looks out at the hill below and a skylight, so it feels roomy. FAR more roomy than my little room here in Media Monastery. Some days I feel like I'm climbing the walls here in this small room. Two years in such a small space has been more than enough! When I can't stand it anymore, we go out to restaurants with staff or friends. Jasen has a girlfriend now, so there will probably be another wedding coming up.

So much has happened— the sessions with clients took off, so I have regular patient video transmits. And we keep meeting with the 9 Galaxies Research Collab. Really, we're just friends who like chatting and connecting across the Galaxies. I think we're all sort of in love with the idea of having friendships across the Known Cosmos. But I've published a couple of papers in collaboration with the Equi University Hospital— mostly thanks to Dr. Abrams, Peydran's cyberneticist. And I share staff with Produced by Peydran. So, it's been a very, very busy year.

The next time I write to you, I should be in my new home. But, I'm going to try to see you before that. Whether dreaming or awake, I won't stop connecting to you, Ahtah. You're a part of this big tangle that is on the horizon. Centre Oasis is a part of it. I am a part of it. Peydran is a part of it. Somehow, this is all connected. I will find a way to untangle these threads. I am coming for you, so be ready, my love.

68

A pseudonym then.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2791)

69

Song lyrics.

From one who spoke no words.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2772)

Dream Journal

Something pressed against my throat; thick and viscous and warm. It moved down, so warm, and down, so warm, and down. I was a fire! I was alight! There was a note. A sweet note. A chord. A symphony! Music! I was music! I was a song! I was twirling! I was dancing! I wanted to keep dancing! So full of song! Golden light! Filled with golden light! Glory! Glorious! I was glorious! I was a song! I was a dance! Over my shoulder, something was there. A doorway? Was it black? Was it silver light? Just a slit? Was it a passageway? Was it female? Could I go through it? Did it look black? Or silver light? What was beyond it? Could I go through it? Could I see into it? Was everything black now? Was there blue ahead? Soft blue light? Was it royal blue light? Was there pink light? My feet touched something. All was stillness. Quiet. Complete silence. My feet were on something wet and cool. I walked. Wet sand. There was a note. A single note. Stillness. Then waves. I was being pulled out. Over water. Or just out. Out! Urgently forward. Forward! Something pressed me from behind, pushing me through my spine. Pushing on the back of my neck. Pushing on my tailbone. I was being pushed out. I felt myself twist inside and pushed from the back of my neck— out! I was twisting clockwise out of myself, and curling down. Coming out of my throat, out of my chest, out of my belly button, and twisting down. Then through me, and out my back. Out the back of my neck. I twisted, pushed forward out the front of my body, then twisted down and back and through and out the back of my neck. I twisted up and up and out. Then up and through. Waving. Moving. Side to side. Waving. Moving. Side to side. Rhythm. Rhythm. Rhythm. It was beautiful. Rhythm. Movement. Beauty. Pulsing. Grace. Pulsing. Rhythm. Dance. Movement. Swaying. Song. I was a song! I was a song! I was free! I was free! I was free! I was a song! I was music! Music!

70

"Helix"

Stars collided.

Nucleus divided.

Strands unwound.

Then rebound.

We came apart.

Then wove together.

Lovers are never separate.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

Dream Journal

I sank into black water. I saw nothing. Just sinking down, and down, and down. I inhaled. I could breathe. I kept sinking down and down in the water. I was content. It was peaceful and still. Just sinking down, down, down. I was filled with warmth, desire. Desire. Need. I felt him all around me, just like the water. He circled around me. I breathed him in. I let him fill me. I remembered I had legs and arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. My face pressed against his neck. I clung to him desperately, "Ahtah, Ahtah, my love. Don't go." I was supposed to remember something. Something I had practiced. Universal! Universal! "Ahtah, love!" I said in Universal. He was murmuring. I only heard "Methela." The rest I didn't understand. I focused. Felt it. Remember to feel it. Universal, love. Universal, love. Universal, love. Just like I practiced. I remembered. I felt relieved. I felt him relax. He focused. Tried so hard. Words in my hair. Words I understood. "Lovers should not be separate." I woke up.

71

Knowing without understanding.

Understanding without knowing.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

72

Did you know that "Come slammin' into me, baby" was my first song lyric?

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2841)

73

Open.

- Within and Without: A Tindin Journey With Erotica

74

This is the last letter they'll find. It explains everything.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories from Shurwinn (2860)

75

People have no idea that I think martial arts are nonsense.

And I'm a Blacker!

The irony is delicious.

It's my favorite secret.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2782)

76

I figured out the design—how to do what you told me to do. You've given me 150 years, but you didn't tell me when to start the 150 years. So, I'm going to use your birth certificate. Not your other certificates. Do you know how manycertificates you have?

That gives me 97 years. Ninety-seven years to tell our story. Our story—yours and mine. The Shurwinn. The Known Cosmos. Because it's all related, isn't it? Isn't it just one story?

Ninety-seven years to set the stage.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2764)

79

"Your Song"

I'll be a song
A song so beautiful
you weep.
From every teardrop
something new is born.
Will I be a song?
And stay with you?
A breeze,
The hum of bees,
The morning bird?
I'll be a song.
And kiss your skin.
And fill you.
And flow with you.
For always.
I'll be a song
A song so beautiful
you weep.
From every teardrop
something new is born.
I'll be a song.
I am your song.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2859)

80

"Dance Among The Stars"

I saw you dance,

a dance among the stars.

Or was it far,

Far beyond all stars?

I saw starlight

Beyond all stars.

And all things.

All that could be

out among the stars.

There was moonlight in your hair,

And firelight in your eyes.

I saw teardrops on your lips.

And stars at fingertips.

I saw you dance,

a dance among the stars.

Or was it far,

Far beyond all stars?

All things that could be

out among the stars

We danced among the stars.

I saw you dance,

a dance among the stars.

- Ren Crieve, 2728

81

She found in me the music

that she had always needed

to find

what she was looking for.

Collected Unpublished Lyrics

-Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2782)

83

I'm publishing teasers—just little tidbits. And collecting stories from Shurwinn. They're creating the Legend of Sibsil Creed. So when it's time, people will really want to know the whole story.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2800)

84

"Kiss Me Always"

Alone like the tide

questions of a storm

tear in the moonlight

and always you.

Skin on skin.

Hips on hips.

Lips on lips,

and

always you, baby.

Kiss me always

and never stop.

Don't you stop, baby.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309

85

She came back again, you know. That hunger in her eyes a furnace. The man between her sheets had better be ready. I made sure she had everything she needed to wear. Or take off.

- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2776)

She begged me.

I could finally let go.

She begged me again.

It was what she needed.

It was what I wanted.

She begged me.

I finally let go.

And we were whole.

File name: Untold Stories

Passcode: 8675309