Stars Dancing [Dreams-To-Lovers Romance]

PEYDRAN

"This is really— sad, Peydran." Ren said. "And horrible. I mean, do people do that? Just stop? Like, is that what it's like for guy-on-girl love? Just stopping?"

Internal sigh. We were once again reading Within and Without By Sibsil Creed. This one was the one where guy goes down on girl but she's too ill to finish, so they stop and have a cuddle instead. And it was getting really difficult to ignore that the girl was my best friend, Ryst.

"And is that what Sibsil Creed is telling us to do next? Is that the next exercise? We go from pretending to be our partner during the caesura to, what— oral, then stopping? What is that supposed to do?"

I couldn't help chuckling. Ren was just no filters sometimes. "Ren, do you think this book is a step-by-step guide to telepathic sex? Is it about anything else?"

"Well, Sibsil doesn't really say. It's just words and stories and dreams and things. It doesn't seem to have any order," he replied, looking off in the distance.

"What was on the first page, Ren?"

"Open."

"So, what was that about, do you think? Was that about telepathy?"

"Umm. Probably not. Maybe just about being open to the mystical force of erotica or to whatever happens to you when you read the book? Is that the point?"

He asked the questions like he really didn't see what the point of the book was if it wasn't a guide to telepathic sex. "Ren, what do you feel when you're reading this book—. No, better question: what song is this book to you, personally?"

"Hmm—," he broke off as his posture went rigid. He shook his head back and forth— hard. "No, no. Not that song, no. Peydran, I will be gone for days in that song. Weeks. Not that song. No!"

I sat up abruptly. What the sands was this? I suddenly felt like I barely knew Ren at all, and I was terrified. I didn't want him to go into a song-writing frenzy for days— weeks? Weeks?

My voice turned into acid, "Ren Crieve," I accused him. "On our first date, you said you'd quench my fire if I would try having a deep emotional connection to you. Am I disappointing you?"

Ren's eyes flew open, and he gaped at me in horror. As though I was actually mad at him. He was back, song forgotten. Thank the sun! I grinned at him and kissed him. He pushed me away.

"You asshole! That was an asshole move, Peydran!"

"It worked didn't it?"

"I'm telling Alen that you really are an ass. I'm telling him you're an ass in bed," he said with a little venom.

"Oh stars, Ren," I laughed. "Please don't. Please tell me you're joking. I do not want to see that caricature!"

"You deserve it. Okay, okay. So, is that what this book is actually about? It's about the emotional connection, or well, it's about all kinds of connection? Maybe? It's just a collection of dreams and stories and then some exercises or wise sayings. It's hard to tell what it's supposed to be about," Ren concluded.

"Yeah, and since I happen to know Sibsil Creed pretty well, I think that's the point. It's less about what happened to Sibsil and more about what happens to the reader or readers. How it affects them and their own unique journey with mystical erotica and intimacy, I think. That's how I interpreted it, anyway. I mean, it's not a book about helping cybernetics patients get through sexual fears, but for me, that's what I needed, so that's what happened. So, we aren't going to talk about music, but what is it doing to you to read all of this?"

"Hmmm. . . I think I just really want to figure this out. I don't know what we did, Peydran. I know that . . .," his eyes grew distant.

"Well, you were so anguished. And I just wanted to tell you, or show you what I felt for you. So you'd know. And it was, of course, music. My feelings were music. So, I put the music into you. And I know that you felt it. I felt the music go in, and I could feel you. Was it telepathy? Was it like Ryst? It wasn't exactly like her, was it? I don't know what it was, and I don't know how to do it again. Can we do it again?"

"Ren, it was the most special thing I've ever done in my life, and I want to do it again too, but I can only speculate. I only have theories. I have only experienced Ryst's mental powers twice. And it was kind of like that with you, but it also wasn't like that. So, I don't know if we can equate the two. I think that we just have to be open to having whatever experience we are going to have. If we want to do it again, and yes, I want to do it again. But, I think it'll probably happen like it did the first time— spontaneously or unexpectedly. I don't think there's going to be a formula for it. I don't think we can take Ryst as a template and just try to plug you and me into that."

What was I saying? I did not sound like a programmer. I sounded like a Level 9 Tindin mystical Blacker, didn't I?

"How does that sound to you, Ren? Does that sound off base, or does it sound like something that makes sense?"

"I'm with you, Pey'o," he agreed, nodding. "I still want to finish the book, though. If nothing else, it gives me something to think about. And hey, we're talking about it, so that's intimacy, right? Even if we're not having abortive cunnilingus."

I roared with laughter. Oh, SANDS. Sands, if Ryst ever heard about this— that line of thought cut off because Ren's pad lit up with a video request from Nayth. Ren motioned for me. My love was positively lazy. He didn't even want to pick it up and open the video himself. So, I sent a command to the pad to hover in front of us and opened the call.

Nayth's face appeared. He was wearing— what? Workout gear? A tight tank top that was really low cut. Stars above, the man was a chocolate sculpture.

"Yummy," Ren greeted him.

Nayth chuckled a little. "Greetings, Ren. Peydran," he nodded. Then the smiles faded. "So, Ryst has been asleep for fifteen hours straight. I know that she gets 'relapses,' but she actually didn't tell me what that means. So, should I be concerned? Do I take her to the hospital? Or bring a medica to LaGrange? I have no idea what to do."

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Ren and I both sobered as soon as he started talking. "Wait, Nayth, is she actually deeply sleeping? Or is she sweaty, restless?" I asked.

His brows furrowed, "No, she's out. Asleep. Not sweaty. What should I be looking for?"

"Actually, that's really good. When she's relapsing, she gets all sweaty and restless, and she doesn't sleep well because she's in too much pain."

Nayth grimaced. Yeah, buddy, it's hell. I'm sorry. "So, this sounds like she's just tired. But Nayth, if she does relapse— no when, when she relapses, it will be really horrible. The last one was earlier this year and was her worst one ever— six whole days. We went to the hospital for tests when she got better, and her scans and blood tests were fine. Medica completely cleared her. It drives her nuts that there's no explanation for these crash downs. You can imagine what it's like for a scientist to have zero explanation for that kind of suffering. It can put her in a funk mentally."

"You'll have to be the one who remembers that it's temporary when she feels so bad. She will get better. She always does. It's usually 3-4 days of misery, then, eventually, she relaxes and sleeps soundly. That's when you know she's getting better. You'll want to have a lot of juices. Especially melon juices. Then when she starts wanting to eat melons, you'll know she's pretty much through it." He nodded and sighed. Like he knew it was gonna really suck, but he'd be the one she could count on.

"She'll forget that it gets better. She'll get lost in the misery. You don't have to prod at her and tell her it'll be fine. Just be the one in the room who knows that it's temporary, even though she can't remember that." He nodded.

"But that doesn't sound like what's going on now. She's probably just sleeping off the starliner and all the sleepless nights she had before she left Shurwinn. I don't know exactly what was going on with her because I was trying to woo Ren at the time, but she looked totally exhausted when we went to her house for the 'Let's find Nayth' trance."

Nayth nodded and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. Where was he? A dojo, or something? It was completely quiet for a few moments.

Ren suggested, "Not sleeping much, eh, Nayth?"

Nayth's eyes slowly opened, and he looked at Ren thoughtfully. "So, you two, this is a new thing?" he started, cautiously.

"Umm hmm. Peydran kidnapped me and did unspeakable things to me," Ren started.

I snorted a laugh as Nayth grinned. "I think I know what to do now whenever I'm in a bad mood. Actually, Ren, every time I have Galactic Ministry sessions, can I keep you in my ear? You just talk to me, and I'll be bad-mood-free forever."

Ren nodded, "Okay, if you tell me if girl multiple orgasms are real."

Nayth roared with laughter then, a deep, bellowing, booming laugh. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

"So, you really want to know about women's orgasms, Ren? Wait—" he looked back and forth between the two of us, "So, neither of you have ever been with a woman?"

"Peyd—" I put my hand over Ren's mouth and answered, "No, Nayth, we are girl virgins." Oh sands, what will Ryst think of this conversation?

Fucking sands, was Ren going to write the next Sibsil Creed erotica book? A Gay Man's Journey With Female Eroticism? What an idea. Will there be songs? Maybe the whole thing will just be a symphony without lyrics? A wordless ode to the female orgasm? Can I hope?

"Well, what do you want to know? If they're real? Yeah, they're real," Nayth said frankly.

"So, they can just keep going, and going? Is there a limit?" Ren asked.

Nayth laughed again. "Well, I've never kept count to see if there's a limit. But I think in a single session it feels different for them every time. It's not as strong the second or third time, but it's always different. It still feels really good, though."

"Wait, you can feel it? It's like the b—" I paused the video quickly, cutting Ren off.

"Stop, Ren. Ryst didn't tell him about Within and Without yet, remember?"

Ren's face got a look of horror, like "Holy fuck, what did I just say?" Then he waived his hands, and I restarted the video.

"Sorry, Nayth I needed to have an off-screen quarrel with my lover. You were telling us what multiple orgasms feel like for girls. I assume this is a benefit of having telepathic sex with women. Please continue."

Nayth laughed fully again. "Yeah," he said nodding. "I can feel it. They have a lot of different kinds of orgasms. Different pleasure centers. Sort of like with prostate massage verses ejaculation, but different. And they can have a lot of climaxes in a row, different kinds, or you can combine them together too. They all feel different. I don't know how to describe it, though. What do you want to know, Ren?"

"Ehhh . . ." Ren looked very uncertain at this line of questioning. "Well, I don't know what I don't know, right? We were just wondering what it's like for lesbians."

"No," I protested. "No, WE were NOT wondering that. If there was any wondering going on, it was not occurring in my mind."

"I've never really considered what it would be like for girl-on-girl. I suppose every one gets tired eventually, though. But, actually, I think that might be part of the problem right now. Why Ryst is still asleep. I'm a little worried about it, because we can't stop and sleep. It's actually getting kind of worrisome, and I don't want to just ignore it. . . I don't really know how to say what I'm talking about. I don't want to be crude, and it's actually concerning, and I don't kn—"

"No, Nayth," Ren said. "We know what you mean. I happened to us. It got uncomfortable. I'm joking around and all the stuff about girl orgasms and stuff— that's mostly just silliness. We couldn't stop, but it gets better. Just think of it like this: the mystical force of erotica is a song that is playing too loud and you need to turn the volume down for a while. Then when you want to, you can turn the music back up, right? Can you just turn the volume down?"

"Turn the volume down," Nayth repeated softly. "But—"

It was my turn to interrupt, "You can't do it alone. Both of you have to decide together. It's not one person rejecting the other person. It's a couple decision," I said with a firm nod.

"Okay," he nodded. "So, we have to talk about if we want to kind of — pause this music for a bit or something? Okay. That could work, maybe. I definitely don't want her getting sick because she isn't getting enough sleep."

And suddenly, the whole chapter Ren and I had just read in Within and Without made so much more sense. The desire for intimacy, even when you're sick. Because sometimes people get sick and don't get better, but they still desire closeness with their partners. Oh, Nayth. I'm sorry. This road is not going to be an easy one.

"You have to talk to Ryst about it, Nayth. All your fears. Everything that's bothering you. If you don't, if you try to shoulder everything yourself, it will only frustrate her. She's too keen on what other people think and feel, and she'll know you're trying to hide from her," I cautioned him.

He sighed. "Yeah, I'm already figuring that out, Peydran. I just— she deals with so much. It doesn't seem fair that she should have to deal with my stuff too. I mean, there's this whole giant tangle that's so big that she can't even try to look at it without flying off into space. She said it's bigger than everything you two did to build a whole new village. So, there's something on the horizon that is coming. She's sure that it's coming, and it's bigger than anything else in the past. So big she can't get the shape of it at all. So, how am I supposed to just plop more burdens onto her when she has all of that to face?"

"So, you're saying that loving you is a burden? Should she leave you and come back to Shurwinn alone?" I asked a little acerbically.

Nayth gave me the same look Ren had given me when I'd shocked him out of his musical stupor. Yes, asshole Peydran. That's me shocking the stupid right out of people. I'll keep going with this; it's working.

"'Cuz it sounds to me like your feelings are too much of a burden for Ryst to handle. That you're just sooo complicated that loving you is too much for her. She should just walk away now and forget that she ever loved you at all. . ."

Nayth's eyes narrowed, "Clever, Madrano. Very clever. You're an asshole, you know that?"

"Yeah, we all know it," Ren said helpfully. "And we love him for it because sometimes we're assholes too."

"Right," Nayth leaned his head back against the wall again, sighing. "So, stop being an asshole to my wife and talk to her about how I feel. Why didn't I think of that myself? No, I had to have a conversation with two men who aren't into women about female orgasms and girl-on-girl first. This is such a logical day."

Wait— WIFE?! "Did you get secretly married already, Nayth?!!!!" I screeched. Yes, it was high pitched. Yes, I sounded hysterical.

He chuckled, looked right at me, and said: "Wouldn't you like to know?" and the screen went dark.

"ASSHOLE!!!!! Nayth gets the asshole award, not me!!!!" I yelled.