27: Like You’re Not Here
I figured that since I had to suffer all the crying when I read your journals, I could take liberties with translation. Did I mention that I like the English word, "fuck?" That word is frequent. It's an appropriate word, don't you think?
- Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn (2766)
Chaludra's sister Kitty tumbled helplessly through an ocean of sand, being pulled under, sand filling her clothes. She was tumbling out of control! Slam! Solid stone beneath her. Coughing, she looked up and in a cavern in front of her was a skeleton. Around its torso wound the bones of a large snake. And on the ground, carved into the stone beneath them were the words:
"I warn you, whoever you are, Oh! You who want to probe the arcana of nature,
that if you do not find within yourself that which you are looking for,
you shall not find it outside either!
Within you is hidden the treasure of treasures.
Know thy self, and you shall know the universe and the gods."
I sat motionless, blinking at the page. Blinking. Blinking. The words rang through my skull like a gong. How—
"Ryst?" someone elbowed my right arm. I blinked and looked over at Peydran. We were in Media Station, waiting for our airship to Equi Oasis where we'd meet Jasen and Alen for my thank you surprise. Peydran waved a hand in front of my face, "You okay? Not happy with the ending of Chaludra?"
"Peydran," I said breathlessly. "How— how can this be? How is this possible?" I picked up the graphic and shook it in front of him. "How is this real?"
My voice rose as my eyes bugged out of my head. "I saw this quote weeks ago when I was looking for— well, it's a long story, but Peydran, this quote is from ANCIENT EARTH! It's more than three-thousand years old! This is— this is so crazy!"
It was time for us to board, so we gathered our bags and got moving. Once we were settled in our airship seats, Peydran asked, "So, you wanna tell me about your love affair with Chaludra? What's going on with all the Ancient Earth stuff? You haven't been stuffing graphics down your pants, have you?"
"Hmmm. It's this whole long, complicated thing, and I wouldn't even know where to start. But—" I broke off. I had been spending time around Peydran, and I had never gotten a single whiff of his emotions or his thoughts. He was just—blank to me. As if he wasn't even there sitting next to me.
I looked around the airship. I'd completely forgotten about the panic attack I'd had on my last starliner since I was so amped up on Chaludra hysteria when we'd boarded. But as I looked around the ship, I realized I had an awareness of all the people around me, but not specificity. Definitely not overwhelming. Was that because of Peydran? Did he somehow dampen my senses? What was it about him?
I looked at him, really looked at him. My eyes probed his face, searching. Searching. I reached out with my inner sense— yes, I felt everyone else on the airship. Not Peydran.
He looked worried. "Ryst?"
My voice curious I asked, "Peydran, are you Talented?"
His eyebrows shot up, "What? Me? No, Ryst, what is going on?"
"Okay, Peydran, I'll tell you a story. It won't be short, but we have time. So, here goes— hold onto your seat. Something happened to me before I came to Shurwinn. And it wasn't until, well, around the time I Black Beaded that I found out that I have a Talent. I thought I was going mad or having a stroke or something."
He looked at me eagerly, leaning forward, "Like, you're a seelee?"
I shook my head, "No, I don't think so. But I think it's kind of like that. It's more like I have an extra set of senses. I— feel people, sense them. I feel their emotions, their intentions, and pick up stray thoughts they put out. That's part of why I was The Normal Monk. You know, not talking much or eating outside. I felt really awkward and thought I was invading people's private thoughts."
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Looking intently into his face, I added, "Until I met you. I've never, ever been able to sense anything from you. Not when we were dancing. Not now. Nothing." I patted the air around his face. "It's like you're not even there."
He sat back with his eyebrows raised. "So, what is it? Anyone else blank to you like this?"
"No one."
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Hunh, so, we gotta figure it out. We gotta know, right? Like, zap me, zap me and see. Let me see."
I closed my eyes and tried. I felt the breath in my lungs. I felt the cushion beneath me. I felt the open sky outside. I honed in on Peydran. On all my affection for my sweet friend. I realized I was raising my right hand towards where he was sitting. I tried reaching, extending. There was just— nothing. No awareness of him at all. I came back to myself.
Shaking my head, I said, "Nothing, Peydran. Nothing."
"So, we run tests, experiments. We find out exactly what it is about me. You said feelings, right? Feelings, thoughts, intensions?" He grimaced.
"While I'd like to say my intentions are good…" His grimace turned into a grin. "Well, all my hopes and dreams are coming true!"
"What! Hey, I'm blinded by sense deprivation here, you aren't actually enamored with me are you!" I accused with mock horror.
"You wish! Oh, I'm enamored, but it's your off-sphere status that is propelling Produced by Peydran into orbit! I mean, Jasen and Alen are rocking it. Didn't you see the stats I sent you this morning?"
"What? No, Peydran!"
He flicked his fingers across his pad, and showed me a string of data.
"WHAT?! Two million! My site has had two MILLION views?! Peydran, how is that even possible?"
He wiggled his fingers in the air, "Shurwinn magic. It starts with the people who know you directly— basically every one you've met in Media. Then they get their friends and family on board, and colleagues, and it spreads. Plus you've got me and Jasen and Alen. So, that's all of us getting all the people we know involved. I mean, they did an animation mocking their off-sphere business partner, so that's gonna soar."
"And if you wanted be super nice to all of us, you'd do a transmit from your personal stream in Starlend, not just your new business site. So you get the exposure spreading around the Andromeda Galaxy, off of Shurwinn. We've got some triggers in place for off sphere promotion once Jasen and Alen's whole project is ready, but that will be a few more days. I'm hoping, hoping that you're open to putting this little project here we're doing in Equi up on your site and theirs and promoting it all on your personal site in Starlend."
He looked at me with a "Please, please mom" begging face. As in, "I know this is a long shot, but you'd rock my world like a superstar if you'd do this."
I snorted. I couldn't help the tears in my eyes as I tried not to wet myself. "Fuck all the stars in the sky, Peydran!" I couldn't stop laughing. "You know what, if we're going to do this, let's do it. Let's set my old life on fire and never look back. Stars, yes! You get that footage, and you get it right. Because we are going to burn my old life to the ground!"
And as I said it, I thought I was laughing, but it felt like some part of my being just rang like a gong.
"Wait a minute, is this what you meant by having bad intentions? You wanted me to come up with some insane plan in this crazy outfit to promote your business?"
Peals of laughter rang out. He pointed at me, "YOU! This was YOUR idea, 100% you. You can't blame me for it! You're paying me to do this, Ryst. I'm just along for the ride… and the stardom… and the fame… and the laughs… and the money…." He could barely squeeze the words out.
When we finally calmed down, he said, "No, I mean. I didn't ever really think that you'd hire me at all. I wanted to meet an off sphere, and maybe make some connections for the business, but I didn't really think it would go like this. You were interesting. And mysterious. When I first met you, I didn't even think you'd dance with me. I mean, you didn't dance with anyone did you? Is it because of the Talent? Like, is it hard? To be around people like that?"
"Hmmm. Well, the only people I've sparred with are you and Denten. And he wanted me to go all out, so I did. He wanted to see the full range of the Talent, after I Black Beaded. And it was…" I stared into space.
"I don't know how to describe it. It's like I could hear him, but he wasn't saying words. Like our minds and our feelings were combined. I saw everything from my point of view from my physical eyes, but I also knew what he was wanting, or intending. His perception of the fight. He thought I was the wind, and he couldn't catch me. I just knew what he was going to do. As if he made a choice, and before he moved, I was already moving to defend or adjust, so nothing he did could contain me."
"And I knew his thoughts, but they weren't words. They were— impressions. We had a whole conversation about a book without saying anything. All while we were dancing." I stopped and looked at Peydran; his face was open in a look of amazement.
"Ryst! That is— that is beyond! I mean, what are you going to do? What will you do, Ryst?"
I shook my head, "I don't know, Peydran. I mean, what use is it really? I barely even know what it is! As it's not like I'm going to go around fighting people or become a secret assassin or something. I actually don't even want people to know about it. I don't know how practical it even is."
He gave a sharp nod. "We need to know. We need to study it and figure it out. You don't have a Talent for no reason. And if I'm a variable. If there's something about me, or something about the two of us, we gotta learn what it is that we are doing. Right?"
I looked at him inquiringly, "Experiment? Like, just keep trying different things and see what happens? Observe. Record?"
"If that's what it takes," he nodded. "We try some things. You try pushing past my super-powered brain defense shield. We dance again. We— I don't know. We come up with plans, strategies. If I get drunk, or really tired, or go on a date, or all these variables… We get the data, and we see what we find."
"I guess we can try, Peydran, but you're so busy with these launches. Please don't get drunk this weekend! I don't want to be cleaning up your puke on my first trip out of Media."
He laughed with his whole body. "I'll manage to stay sober if you keep your clothes on!" he barked out wickedly.