NOVEL NEXT 252: Eat My Poo
Funny poetry. Lines of comedy in rhythm. I could do that, right? Right? Couldn't I?
I sat at my desk looking at my pad with screwed up, doubtful eyebrows. Ten days. Ten poems. Prize worth winning. Yes, funny poem. Let's do it, Sam!
"A Fella Called Shoe"
Got a little crazy
But that's nothin' new
Met a funny fella
Whose name was Shoe.
I said, "You're a frog."
He said, "Eat my poo."
That's how it went
With me and Shoe.
'Til that time
He ate doo doo.
It was late one night
Out on the banks
Of a river so wide
You couldn't see for tanks.
I said, "Let's swim nude."
He said, "You got it, dude."
We jumped in the water
Clad in nothin' but the moon.
Splash went the night
Hot as June.
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Then oops, that was it
For the guy called Shoe.
Banged up his knee
On some underwater scree.
"Yaaoooo," he screamed
Like a coyote.
But it didn't end there
No sir-ee.
That boy called Shoe
Went ape as shit.
Hollerin' like forever
The dumb ass git.
I'd had enough.
Couldn't take no more.
Grabbed a handful of cow pattie
And showed him what for.
Right in the kisser
A whole fist full.
Then took off forever
Him bellowin' like a bull.
That was it
For me and Shoe
End of the line
For him who ate poo.
Moral of the story?
True as can be.
You'll eat poo
If you fuck with me.
HAAAAA! I loved it! Loved it! Sent it to Nanna straight away with the contest details, letting her know I'd signed up, and she could upvote me. Then I opened Discord. Overjoyed with my success as a comedy poetry writer, I flung myself into the Special Streaks server.
#promo
Ayela: check out my comedy poem for the Purple Road Poetry Contest! "A Fella Called Shoe"
Bartt: Don't you have to write the poem DURING THE CONTEST???!!!!
Ayela: How can I write the poem during the contest when I need to have a poem in order to sign up, Bartt?
Bartt: Linked image screenshot of contest rules
Ayela: That makes no sense! You have to have a poem already written to register
Bartt: Can't you read?
Ayela: No, apparently not
Hoe: She's probably okay if she just puts the one poem on her registration. I think that's what SluiceNado is doing.
InnerFire: It's just a contest
Bartt: I don't make the rules
BearyBeast: No, you just rat on people
Ayela: I don't think it's worth arguing over. There's no cash prize or anything. I'll open a support ticket to find out what I need to do.
Hoe: What's the question? Why would support care?
Ayela: that's their job
Bartt: Whatever. It's clear.
Hoe: Some people confuse easily, @Bartt
BearyBeast: Some people stir shit up
Oooookay. Whatever was going on there was not about comedy poems, so I backed out of it. But I couldn't let it go. I pulled up the contest rules again, reading them more carefully. It actually wasn't clear. You had to register with an original poem, then write an additional poem the remaining nine days of the contest. But it never said exactly when the words had to be typed, just when they had to be submitted.
I went back to #promo to check on the argument, but no one was there anymore. Hmmm. Weird. Guess they only wanted to fight if I was watching. Nonsense.
Oh well, I sent "The Fella Called Shoe" to HC then hopped in the shower. I'd woken up super early to write, but it was a baby-sitting day, so I had to leave the world of comedy behind.
That's how some days go, am I right? You hit a home run, then get slapped around for your troubles.
You bet I was right about that, and I didn't yet know how deep those troubles really were.