NOVEL NEXT 187: Every Minute's Gonna Suck
SLYDAR
I felt something on my shoulder but didn't look up 'cuz I was too busy crying into my cinnamon pie.
A soft, mostly closed mental presence slid into the booth across from me. Brick.
"Bad day again?"
Nod.
"Not the girlfriend this time, eh?
Head shake.
"Somebody dyin', Slydar?"
Nod.
"Mom?"
Head shake.
"Dad?"
Nod.
"Mom died four years ago."
I uncovered my face and looked at Brick, but he just nodded at my shoulder, so I grabbed the cloth napkin and blotted my face.
"You know what the worst part was?" he asked.
Head shake.
"The guilt. For living. Homework. Gaming. Kissing my boyfriend in the dark while mom was dyin' down the hall."
Fuck. My soul was speared through.
"There's nothin' easy 'bout it, Slydar. Every minute's gonna suck. Except for all the ones that don't. You have to live all of 'em. And that's all I've gotta say about that."
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"That the man you're still with? The one you kissed in the dark?"
Smile.
"Skinny white kid named Brick has a boyfriend called . . ."
"Joey."
Laughter from both of us.
"What's Joey look like?"
"Brown. 6'4." 250 pounds."
Cackling across the board.
"You're shittin' me, Brick."
The pad before me showed a pic of a big, dark brown man next to my diner-server friend.
"Damn, Brick, that's a hell of man you got."
Quirked eyebrows and pinched smile.
"Guess I better go find my girl. She's worrin' 'bout me. Thanks, Brick."
"Anytime, Sly Fox."
Confused eyebrows.
"What, you don't know, man?"
Raised brows.
A video on his pad lit up showing the skate park I knew very, very well.
"I looked up 'Dliptonia' and 'skateboards,' and look what I found, Slydar."
"SHIT."
It was me, that last day, when I'd shown off. Someone had put a 15-second clip on the stream, and it had 2 billion views. It was titled, "Sly Fox."
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck."
"What?"
"My family's off grid, Brick. No, no, no, no, no."
"Dude, I didn't know it was you at first. There's nothing about you. Your hat covers everything. It's not that bad."
My heart slowed a bit. Brick was right. Yeah, it could be me, but it could be pretty much anyone on Dliptonia. I scrolled through the comments. Didn't see my name or anything terrible.
"Thanks, Brick. Kiss Joey tonight. I'm out."
I trotted back to the hotel, and Rory met me outside in her coat and boots which made me smile. Yeah 'cuz I was happy to see her, but also, it was only 50 degrees, and she was bundled up like it was the dead of winter.
"You gotta see this video, baby. I'm famous."
"What? Woah, Slydar. Woah. Well, I guess it could be anyone, at least they didn't put your name in it. Gonna show this to the family?"
Shaking my head, I pulled her close feeling my world righting itself as she melded to me.
"Let's go for a walk," I whispered into her hair.
She nodded, and we headed down the street where there were swing sets. Moving objects: I've told you I'm a sucker for them. Rory and I swung our legs and pretended we could fly, and for a little bit I forgot my heart was breaking.
Brick told me the worst thing about his mom dyin' was all those moments he had to live and feel good while she felt bad.
Heart clenching.
Let's live, Rory. Let's live and be happy, somehow.
Truth was: I didn't know how. What makes people get up and move when it feels like everything has ended? How do you keep going when all you want to do is give up, roll over, and not face anything? What does happiness even mean when nothing in the world is fair?
I'm in it with you, Sly; the times it feels good to be alive, and the rest too, she whispered across my mind.
And maybe that was my answer. Was Rory part of how I could stay sane in the weeks ahead? Was love really capable of keeping the heart beating when it's broken from life?