Stars Dancing [Dreams-To-Lovers Romance]

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RYST

"I can't believe this. It all feels unreal. Like the past few months are ephemera. Or the past four years. I can't believe you are standing in my house, and that you're calling it 'our house,'" I said to Nayth who was standing behind me, his arms pulling my back against his chest.

I stepped away from him and turned, taking in my whole casita. It all felt like a dream. I was back in my casita, but nothing was the same. I was married. I was home, but I wasn't the same person I'd been when I'd last stood in that room.

Nayth stood there, watching me. I went back over to him and hugged him. Home. Home. Home. I'm home. We're home.

"I love you, Ryst."

"I love you too. It's really weird that I have someone else to think about in my house. That it isn't my house; it's our house. Were you this weirded out when I came home with you?"

"Well, it's different isn't it? You've been gone for months and your whole life changed in that time. Now you're back, and it's a bit of a shock, eh? Do you still want to live here? Is this what you want?"

I laughed. "I don't think I can handle anymore change right now. But it seems awfully cramped now that I'm not the only person here!"

He chuckled against my hair, "Well, that's something a little planning and time can fix. Do you want to show me around?"

I laughed again, "Swivel your head, and that's it!"

"Surely there's a bathroom hiding in a corner somewhere?" he teased.

He picked up his bags, and I showed him the walk-in closet and bathroom. He'd left most of the trunks he'd brought from Sturm in one of the Centre apartments where Peydran had made storage space available, so everything he had with him fit comfortably in my small space.

"I'm so used to being completely alone up here that it's odd to have someone else in my house."

"I could go spend the night with Ren. He'd probably love a cuddle."

"No way, mister. Hey, say the cuddle thing for me in that voice I love."

"Ryst, you want me to come over there and cuddle you all night long, baby?"

"Ummm hmmm," I nodded, and just like that I forgot to feel weirded out about having someone else in my space.

"Okay, Ahtah, I have a gift for you that I've been wanting to give you for months! You ready? It's one of my big surprises."

Nayth rubbed his hands together, eager grin on his face.

I took his hand and pulled him over to the bookshelf in the living room where my Chaludra collection stood next to my beautiful wood box. I directed Nayth to the shiki and put the box in his hands.

"This is beautiful, Methela. This is the ankh you told me about, right? What kind of wood is this?"

"It's Arshwold from Carina Galaxy. My friend Sam helped me pick all of this out. Open it! You're the only one who will ever see this; I made it special for you!"

Nayth lifted the lid off the wood box revealing the little book inside.

"What a pretty book," he commented, picking it up and opening it to the title page.

Within and Without:

A Tindin Journey With Erotica

by

Ryst Nova

"You wrote a book for me, Methela? An erotica book?" he asked with an expectant smile.

"Well, I wrote it. I wasn't really sure why I wrote it. It's really just dreams and erotic experiences and musings and some instructions and ideas for people who want to try going on a journey with erotica for themselves. I compiled all the bits and pieces into this book, but this is the only copy with my name on it. It's published under the pseudonym 'Sibsil Creed.'"

I felt Nayth's stomach fall in shock, and he blinked rapidly. "Published?"

"Under a pseudonym, Nayth. On stream. Oh, no! Ahtah, we can take it down. It's only had 13 million views. It's only been a few months. It hasn't been printed yet. I had no idea you were in the Ministry when Peydran published it. We can take it down, Nayth."

Nayth held up his hands. "No, no. Just give me a minute, okay? I'm trying to take that in. I just— I haven't stopped thinking of myself as a constant public figure is all. I need a second to freak out, and then I'll be fine. Peydran published it? Of course he did. Madrano. Urrgh! I can't wait to strangle you this time. Wait— wait, what is in this book?"

I grimaced. "Well, it's everything. All my sexual experiences for the last four years— well, except for the actual, real sex we've been having. It's all the stuff from before I met you. Uh, inventive wanking? Yeah, it's a a four- year wank fest, all written down for the entire Known Cosmos to read. Hooray."

Nayth laughed full and free, "Holy clouds above! You weren't joking when you said you wrote everything in your journal?! Wait, are there descriptions of my cum in this pretty book? I gotta read this."

Laughing, I told him, "Oh stars, Nayth. It's on stream. That's why Ren kept asking us about telepathic sex. He read it!"

"Well, if Ren got to read it, I sure as hell am going to. I hope you didn't have any other plans for tonight because I'm not getting off this shiki until I've finished this book!"

Nayth wrapped an arm around me, tucked me against his side, and we read Within and Without together. Reminiscing over things we both remembered, and things that we weren't sure had happened yet.

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When we read the entries of me going down on him, I started sensing something in my Ahtah that I hadn't before. There was a longing and wistfulness coming off of him that reminded me of the time he'd played his song "Before Dusk" for me.

I took Within and Without out of Nayth's hands and straddled him, pushing against him as he pulled me to him. Something inside of him slowly unwound and opened up. Something that he wanted, but didn't want because it was a very tender spot in his heart. Something he couldn't help remembering when he'd read my book because it was his memories too, but he'd remembered it from his point of view, not mine.

Whatever it was, it made him feel very, very mushy inside. I let myself go soft. I was usually insistent and firm and pushy, but I could tell there was something in my Nayth that needed nurturing, softness, and kindness. So, I let a softer part of me step forward to give him what he needed.

Nayth breathed heavily against me and slowly opened up his inner self to me. He didn't need to say it to me with words; I could feel the truth of it within him.

He pulled me against him so I could keep seeing everything with the inside me. Nayth liked sensuality. He liked fucking. He liked things wild and passionate, but he was many-layered. There was a lot more inside of him that no one else ever saw.

Nayth's whole life had been one long public parade. So much of it had been a performance. Being a Minister's son, then aiming high at becoming Galactic Minister himself. Being Sturm and Florian. Even Floria, with all of its insistence on being uninhibited became a type of performance.

He was always "on." Being a perfect dancer, being a perfect Flauta martial artist, being a musician, and then being an entrepreneur. So little of his life was about being vulnerable and sweet, and inside, who Nayth really was pure sweetness and softness.

The outside Nayth was a huge, sculpted, beautiful man, and a gifted dancer and performer with a wild, loud sister and a big family. So much of his Florian sensuality was a show he put on. He was sexy, and people saw him as a symbol, and he'd used that in a public way to propel him to greatness.

Yes, Floreno sensuality was a part of him, but the true sultry part of Nayth wasn't a public man. Who he really was inside was the man who went home and dreamed of a woman who was the whole world to him.

He played sweet songs to her on his guitar and whispered love notes into her hair. He was quiet nights in the moonlight, full of tenderness and affection for the woman he loved that no one knew about.

Not one single person had ever truly seen Nayth until I showed up on Sturm and found my way past the doorway of LaGrange and into the real Nayth inside his villa. Sitting on my shiki with me in Shurwinn, light years away from publicity and loud families was the best wedding present Nayth could've ever imagined.

Because he was finally, finally getting to be himself— soft, and gentle, and tender with someone who could know him for what he truly was: sweetness in human form.

He hugged me to him, and I sank against him, feeling that warm presence who I'd been with for so many years, not knowing anything about the real life he was living, just knowing the warmth of his presence. He'd always been that to me—warmth, safety, and home.

Yes, it had been a lot of passion during those years apart, but wasn't so much of Within and Without sweet moments, when I was feeling sick, and we were trying to figure out intimacy? Nayth's warmth and tenderness had healed so much within me during those lonely years.

I hadn't exactly been a tender lover since we'd met in person, had I? No, I'd been impatient, demanding, pushy. He liked that. He liked that I knew what I wanted and went for it, but as I sat there straddling him and sensing the depths of his soft heart, I slowly realized that Nayth needed more from me.

I'd felt it growing within me for weeks, hand't I? I'd opened up to my own tenderness when he'd made love to me on Sturm, and it had hurt and healed something within me to become softer and more patient. Nayth needed even more of that softness, I could tell. He liked that I was demanding and greedy in bed, but he needed something too.

Ahtah, I want to love you the way you want to be loved. I want to do it. Will you let me? He nodded, and I stood and turned off the lamp so the room was lit only by the light of the half moon coming in through the skylight above.

Nayth smiled. Moonlight was a part of Nayth's memories of me when I used to come to him in dreams and whispers in the dark. Moonlight was in his songs and his soul.

I slowly loved my tender, sweet man the way he needed me to. I took off his shirt and kissed all that hard muscle with soft, tender kisses. I ran my fingers over him like they were feathers. I slid off his shorts and slowly leaned him back, kissing my way all over his body, my fingers ghosts against his skin.

My feelings came out as telepathic whispers, I love you so much, Nayth. You are the most precious thing in the world to me. I love you, my darling. My precious one, I love you. My Ahtah, my only one. Nayth, my Nayth, I love you so much.

There was something he really liked, and I felt his body needing it, but needing it far more softly than I usually did for him. The thumb of my left hand gently traced over his scrotum and under it, and he panted and groaned, knowing what I was about to do. My thumb lightly traced over his perineum as he moaned and pressed his fingers into my scalp.

Thank the clouds. It's been so long. I missed this. I missed you. Oh, thank the clouds, Nayth said in our mental language, and his emotions were wave after wave of relief.

He was talking to me, and he was talking to something beyond me because I was full of silver starlight, and it was pouring out of me and onto his body, loving him, stoking him and bringing him the relief he needed.

I knew that I was still me, but I was also more than me. I was that gigantic me we'd seen on the starliner. For a minute, I was Vast Ryst. I was greater than anything I had ever known myself to be, and all I wanted in the world was to pour love and tenderness on Nayth Carmidee and let him know how precious he was.

Awareness dawned on me that Nayth had experienced this presence before. When I'd been alone on Shurwinn and he'd been traveling the Galaxy looking for me, this Vast Ryst had been with him often, making love to him, giving him all the tenderness and kindness that he needed.

It was me, and it was more than me. It was a part of me that knew things and saw things I could not yet perceive. This aspect of me knew how important it was to lightly stroke and stoke Nayth. Knew he needed gentleness to coax him into the deepest pleasure he could know.

Because deep pressure was too much. He was so used to the ghostly touches of his invisible love that he didn't need pressure; he needed less, not more. Nayth had a deep, deep connection to the mystical force of erotica, and he'd been experiencing soul-shredding orgasms for years before he'd met me in the flesh.

Love poured out of me and relief wafted off of him, and the Vast Ryst receded.

Nayth rasped in ecstasy as I kissed my way up his cock, barely touching him with my lips. I treated his hard length with tenderness and affection and gently coaxed him with my tongue and soft fingers. He moaned and pressed his fingers into my scalp, writhing under me.

Nayth was big, too big to be comfortable in my mouth, but I could hold him gently in one hand and suck on the parts that needed it most while my thumb kept lightly stroking his perineum.

I loved doing this for him, and when he released, he handed me a tissue because he knew I didn't like to swallow. Then he pulled me up to him, and I slipped my clothes off so he could hold my naked body against him while he came back down.

We were quiet, and I felt surrounded by kindness and softness and the male presence that had been with me all those years I'd spent writing Within and Without. We both saw it and felt it in our beings and in our minds.

The ginormous being that we'd seen holding two stars on the starliner. That big version of Nayth. He was with us now. He was Nayth, but he was so much more than Nayth. He loved me so much. He was so glad to be with me again. He was so glad that I knew him now. That I could see him. That I could see he was more than a human man.

He wanted me to keep looking, to keep seeing myself for who I really was and keep seeing Nayth for who he really was. As the Great Nayth faded, I felt him say that I was only just starting to see the full truth. That our physical bodies were part of the story.

"Nayth, you felt—"

"I saw it, Ryst. I saw him. Me. A Great me. The one we saw in the starliner holding the stars with the Vast Ryst. I felt her too when you were loving me. Yeah, it's us, but it's a lot more than us. It's kind of making my head go wonky. But I think that's why so much of your writings seem like they are memories of things that either haven't happened yet or happened in some far away place."

"It's so hard to tell what is dream, what is memory, and what hasn't yet happened. Or, is there really any difference between any of these things? What is metaphor? I don't know. And maybe it doesn't matter? You're alright, aren't you, Ryst?"

"Yeah. It's like it makes me sad, or brings up all this emotion. That's because there's some part of me inside that knows it is true. But I don't know what that truth is. I just know that something is true and my human brain is too tiny to understand it. Like there's something that I have forgotten, and that fills me with grief and relief at the same time. Thank you for loving me, Nayth. Thank you for choosing me. I don't understand all of this, but I'll keep choosing you too."

"I never doubted that, Ryst. Thank you for loving me back. Thank you for choosing me. I promise I'll open up about things I need like tonight, okay? Deal?"

I grinned at him, "Deal, Ahtah. We're gonna get good at having a relationship in real human bodies, aren't we? Not just being dreams to each other? I know we have stuff to keep working out, but we're getting better at it, aren't we?"

He nodded, "Yeah, we'll keep working through it. Thanks, Ryst. I love you." Thanks for loving me gently. It was so good. So good, Ryst. I loved it. I love you so much.

I know, I smiled and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. I love you, too, Ahtah. Let's do this again.

He smiled against my mouth, I can promise you a weekly Starliner Special, wanna repeat the Shiki Shag for me every week? Whaddaya think, weekly date night?

It's a date. I kissed him deeply, all thoughts of gentleness forgotten.