Soul Blaze [Progressive fantasy | No LitRPG]

I'm being breastfed.

Absurd as it seemed, the man undoubtedly felt a nipple in his mouth.

And it wasn't the first time. He remembered feeling something similar before but had assumed he was being artificially fed in a hospital through a tube after an accident or something.

His mind was still fuzzy, though not as much as before. The man's eyes ached from the bright light and his vision was too blurry to see anything properly. His hands seemed clumsy and the sounds around him were unintelligible.

Despite his impaired senses, there was no doubt that a woman was holding his head to her breast and feeding him milk.

The man felt his mouth almost move on its own to suck the milk. He was hungry, so he decided not to resist.

The woman's body was pleasantly warm. A slight rhythmic vibration with a barely audible but familiar pulsation. A heartbeat?

For some reason, the man was convinced that he had been listening to these heartbeats for a very long time...

***

Gradually his vision improved, allowing him to see his surroundings better, though the fog in front of his eyes didn't clear completely. The man was in bed, but not alone—with a large woman, no, a huge woman holding him in her arms. It seemed strange, unreal.

Maybe it's just a dream... his mind found a solution before sleep overcame him.

But the dream didn't end when the man opened his eyes again. He was still in the huge bed with the big woman. Or had he shrunk? Although his body wasn't in pain, it didn't want to obey him either. The man couldn't sit up—he could only raise his arms in the air, which looked swollen, maybe even deformed.

"Aiiii!" something like a scream came out as he tried to say "hello."

The woman lifted him into the air and pressed him to her body. It was confusing, but also pleasant because it allowed him to hear the woman's heartbeat again.

This strange dream didn't end—it only became more vivid and pronounced. Moreover, it was the only thing the man saw when he opened his eyes. His real, normal life was just a memory, which for some reason seemed distant and vague.

Maybe my whole life was just a dream? And this is reality? Strange thoughts came to mind.

Though the man remembered his life, even recent events seemed unclear, just like memories of the distant past and his childhood.

Maybe it was a brain injury? Or is my vision damaged? Is all this... just a delusion? He tried to find a rational explanation.

Maybe... am I losing my mind?

This thought disturbed him and made him raise his voice. The woman then pressed his body against her breasts again. Although it seemed strange to feed like that, there was no other food, so the man took the liberty of sucking the milk from her breasts. And there was no denying that the woman's heartbeat helped fight off his fears and worries. It allowed him to fall asleep.

Nothing changed later. The man's body was still tiny, without normal coordination, his vision blurred and sensitive to bright light, his voice unintelligible. Apparently, he was in the body of an infant and the woman who was breastfeeding him was his mother. Occasionally other people appeared, but the mist in front of his eyes still prevented him from distinguishing shapes properly. The voices were also indistinct, strange, perhaps even in another language.

I've heard that psychiatric disorders can cause hallucinations, but like this? Moreover, the mentally ill usually don't question their delusions, which are at odds with reality. Could it be... that what I'm seeing is real? Eventually, the man began to doubt that he was seeing a dream or suffering from some ailment.

He was not religious and didn't believe in reincarnation, but everything he experienced seemed to point in that direction. The strange thing, then, was that the man was remembering his past life.

I don't know... let's just see what happens next... He gave up trying to find an explanation for everything.

It was difficult to think long about difficult topics—sleep came very quickly. Perhaps the infant's body and brain weren't designed for it.

***

It was not easy to keep track of time, as sleep could come at any moment without him noticing. The man often only realized that he had fallen asleep and slept for a considerable time because day had given way to night, or vice versa. Gradually, the fog in front of his eyes receded, and it became easier to think. Although it was still difficult to coordinate his body, he began to recognize faces and people around him.

The woman who fed him—the infant's mother—was a young woman with long, dark hair, but she didn't look Japanese. She didn't seem to be European either. The same was true of the other people who came into the room and sometimes took the baby in their arms.

I guess that's why I couldn't understand what they were saying, the man/infant reasoned.

He began to doubt he could continue to think of himself as an adult man in this body.

"Tao..." the woman said, looking at her child and smiling.

She had mentioned this word before; other people had mentioned it too, often while looking at the infant.

Tao... is that my name?

"Aao..." he failed to repeat it, his voice still refusing to obey.

The mother's smile grew wider—she looked happy.

Maybe... it's not so bad... he decided to be positive.

Tao was his name now. This was his new life.

***

Sometimes, when Tao woke up, the idea that rebirth was just a weird dream came to mind. But every time he opened his eyes, he saw the same strange room and his helpless infant body.

I really did die... Tao was forced to conclude.

Perhaps because the boy accepted the truth, or maybe because his brain started to function better, some recollections from his past life became clearer.

His last memory of his old life was a serious illness. At first, he had thought he had a cold and would get better in a few days. But the opposite happened—it only got worse. The man had lived alone, with no one to visit him. Foolishly, he had hesitated to call the hospital and lost consciousness.

Apparently, for good.

To die at the age of thirty-eight, alone in his small apartment, was quite shameful.

Will someone come looking for me?

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

It was a question that was difficult to answer.

In Tao's previous life, both parents worked all the time, so they spent little time with their children. True, they weren't indifferent, especially when it came to school performance. Mediocre grades were not acceptable. Failing the university entrance exams was the biggest disaster in his life, an embarrassment that was not accepted by his parents or his older brother. Although the man later found a job, in front of his family he was still a stain of shame better ignored.

He also had no close friends or girlfriend. His superiors would rather fire him than go and find out what had happened. The body was likely to be found only when the building manager came to ask for rent. Or when the stench from the corpse started bothering the neighbors...

This thought was extremely depressing.

"Uaaaa!" Tao raised his voice.

It wasn't a real cry, but it caught his young mother's attention. She took Tao in her arms, checked that his diaper was dry, and then began to lull him and stroke his head.

Tao's worries receded; he was once again reassured that the warmth of this woman's body and the presence of her heartbeat were the best medicine against negative emotions.

The boy felt partly guilty. The woman thought she was caring for a normal child, an infant who understood nothing. How would she react if she found out that Tao had the memories and consciousness of a grown man? Would the mother still want to hug him, to feed him at her breast? If he had a child with the memories of a grown man, that would be... strange, wrong.

But Tao couldn't speak, so there was no way to explain the situation, or physically resist things that the adults were doing to him. If the mother chose to breastfeed instead of bottle-feed, there was nothing the infant could do. He didn't want to starve to death.

But hunger wasn't the only reason why Tao wanted to be with his new mother. This was the first time that someone had shown such genuine care and tenderness toward him.

Tao had no memories of being an infant in his previous life but doubted that his then-mother had behaved similarly. Too busy, with strict demands and a harsh voice—these were Tao's memories of his mother in his previous life. He was aware that this wasn't ideal and had read books and seen movies where mothers showed more affection to their children. He just figured he could live normally enough without it.

The rest of the family had also been cold and reserved people. Neither at school nor later did he try to form close friendships with anyone else. As an adult, he lived alone in a small apartment and worked in a computer repair shop. The pay wasn't much, but it was enough to live on, and his bosses didn't require him to work overtime, allowing him to spend more time playing video games and browsing the internet.

A lonely life, a lonely death.

For him, the mother's gentle caress was a new experience, just like for a normal baby.

Please forgive me. I swear I will make it up to you, Tao promised in his mind, snuggling up to his mother's body.

***

As time passed, Tao was able to stay awake longer. His vision and senses also started to function more normally. True, the infant's body was still too weak to sit up in a sitting position, despite many efforts. But at least he could turn his head to better explore his surroundings.

The mother was almost always with Tao, only a few times leaving the baby in the care of other women. It wasn't clear whether they were relatives or just acquaintances; Tao didn't feel very happy when these women took him in their arms or patted him. Although their faces were kind, being held to his mother's breast was different.

Apart from his mother and other women, a little girl also used to stay in the same room with Tao. She couldn't have been older than five and maybe was the infant's older sister because she often slept in the same bed as Tao and his mother at night. The mother and the adults addressed the girl as Safi or Safia, as far as could be judged.

She also touched the baby occasionally, which was a bit disturbing. Being so small and helpless, even a preschooler was physically superior. If Safia wanted to slap him, Tao wouldn't be able to defend himself. Fortunately, for now, the girl only tried to stroke him cautiously and gently. Nevertheless, he was determined to remain vigilant.

When about a week had passed since Safia had started sleeping with Tao and her mother, the boy realized that he hadn't met anyone who could be identified as his father. Mostly other women visited the young mother, and a few times Tao remembered seeing older, bearded men, but they all seemed to be visitors. It made him a little worried.

Hmm... maybe this family has some problems? Or is the father a fanatical workaholic? Tao could only guess the reason, unable to ask or understand what the others were saying.

It wasn't clear what nationality Tao and his family belonged to. He was sure that they didn't speak English, Mandarin, Korean, Russian, German, or Spanish. The words they pronounced sounded somehow similar to Italian or Latin, but these languages also had words that were common or similar to English, so Tao rejected these options as well.

Maybe a small, unknown nation? The clothes look strange, maybe this place is in some remote part of the world where everyone is poor... he tried again to find the answer himself.

Tao had noticed that no one wore normal clothes—all the women wore long dresses or skirts, often with work aprons. Tao himself was wrapped in cloth diapers, not normal disposable diapers. And it wasn't only the clothes that were strange but also the rooms. The bedroom, where Tao was most often, had no modern lighting or other electrical appliances. Neither his mother nor any of the other adults used a mobile phone in his presence. There was also no modern furniture—everything looked to be made of wood. On the other hand, the furniture didn't look cheap or homemade. There was a large wardrobe with flowers carved in wood on its doors, and there were embroidered decorations on the women's clothes.

Even in poor countries, nowadays they wear T-shirts and jeans. Could this be... a cult? Tao felt his anxiety rising.

But even that wasn't his greatest concern.

Sometimes, when Tao woke up in the night, he saw light in his mother's hand. It wasn't light from a mobile phone, nor was it a flashlight. The impression was that the inside of her hand was emitting light. At first, he thought that his sight hadn't fully recovered, but this was repeated several times. Later, when his mother also took him to an old-fashioned kitchen, Tao saw his mother light a flame in the stove without any tools and freeze water in a metal container by moving her hand over it.

Magic tricks? Or real supernatural powers? He didn't know what to think.

In his previous life, Tao would have dismissed it all as hoaxes or frauds, but his rebirth in a new body with memories from a previous life was proof that even such strange things could exist.

Tao didn't have to guess for too long.

One day, a large man with broad shoulders and a dark beard turned up. His mother and Safia greeted him warmly, hugged him, and were very happy. Then the mother gave him Tao to hold in his arms. Tao felt rather uneasy and even considered raising his voice to return to his mother. Even if this man was his new father, the large, strong hands as well as the black beard were frightening. Tao couldn't think of a better way to behave; he could only stare into the man's eyes and try to remain calm.

I'm a normal infant, nothing unusual... Tao spoke to the man in thought, not wanting to cause the man to dislike him.

Fortunately, the man, his possible father, seemed satisfied and soon returned the infant to his mother. It looked like Tao had been positively evaluated. His father had been thin and small in stature in his previous life, so the impression was much different. Tao didn't know how easy it would be to get used to this man whose looks resembled a pirate or a highway robber from the movies.

On the same day, there was a lot of noise outside, and it looked like a lot of people were laughing, raising their voices, and otherwise behaving loudly. This also attracted the attention of Tao's family; his father went somewhere and his mother spoke to various people passing by through the window. Even Safia ignored her little brother but climbed up on the chair next to her mother to look out the window. Unfortunately, the infant couldn't reach the window. The mother also fed him sitting up in bed, from where you couldn't see what was going on outside.

Luckily, Tao didn't remain in the dark for long. When evening fell, the mother took Tao out of the house for the first time. They were in a neighborhood made up of many one-story houses made of stone and wood. Like the inside of Tao's house, the outside looked ancient and unfamiliar.

People were celebrating something in a big square between the buildings, with bonfires roasting meat and tables set with food. There was instrumental music and everyone looked very happy. A group of men seemed to be being honored, including Tao's father. They were garlanded with flowers and otherwise given attention. The men in turn showed huge pelts and severed heads of beasts to the people. It wasn't easy for Tao to see everything clearly in the firelight, but he couldn't identify these beasts. Perhaps it was just shadow play, but some of these heads looked quite horrifying, more likely belonging to creatures of the deep or monsters from nightmares.

It didn't seem to bother anyone else. Tao's mother looked happy too, though Safia flinched when her father brought the monstrous beast's head closer and hid behind her mother's back.

Later, an old man with a long white beard and different clothes from the others stood in the middle and said something. All the people listened attentively, including Tao's parents. When he finished speaking, the old man raised his hands in the air and light came out of them, illuminating the whole area. It wasn't blinding, but soft and in different shades, like a rainbow.

What is it? A trick? Tao's mind searched for a rational explanation.

He had the feeling that the light was touching him, not as heat waves on his skin, but deeper inside, closer to his heart...

No one seemed surprised by what had happened. Everyone continued to show joy and merriment, the music started again, and many people started dancing around the bonfires.

Tao didn't feel amused, but rather confused. Everything he saw made him think of something even less likely than being reborn with memories from a previous life.

It can't be... maybe I'm tired and my eyes don't show things properly anymore... Tao tried to rub his eyes with his hands.

The unusual light had disappeared, and the surroundings were illuminated only by the bonfires and also by the moon in the sky. Two moons, to be precise.

Tao had noticed one moon when the stars began to appear. But somehow, he had missed the fact that there was another one a little further away. Perhaps at that time, the second moon wasn't yet visible, or perhaps Tao had been too busy with what was happening on the ground. But now his mother was holding the baby at an angle that made it possible to see the two moons clearly—one was yellowish, the other bluish.

A completely different culture without modern technology.

Alien, unknown animals.

People with supernatural abilities.

Two moons in the sky.

There was no longer any doubt.

He had been reborn in a completely different world.