Somebody Stop Him [A Progression Fantasy Epic]

The Entrance Ceremony concluded with a dazzling display of magic fireworks. Colorful sparks rained down from the permanent Celestorm overhead, illuminating the Central Hall in a kaleidoscope of light. Dean Otter made a final, sweeping gesture, again congratulating the new first-years and officially welcoming them to Skyfall.

As the hall began to empty, we made our way towards the Silverfox balcony stairwell. Before we left the balcony, I nudged Io gently. "Hey, Io, you wouldn't happen to have Katherine's Omnigram details, would you?"

"Hrm?" Io turned to me. "My sister? Why?"

"Me and her used to be good friends," I said.

"Really?" Io blinked.

"Yeah," I said. "Before the Celestorm overwrote reality, she taught me how to dive into the deep. I'd like to reconnect with her."

"Aight," Io nodded, pulling out his phone. "Add me. I'll pm you her Omnigram ID."

Digging into my worn rucksack, I pulled out my old, battered phone with a very scratched up screen, a far cry from the sleek magitek devices everyone else seemed to possess. Yulia was gone, of course, wiped clean by the dimensional shift. I had never stolen her this time around, existing under the draconic boot of Ember Stratos. I exchanged phone taps with Cinder, Vespera, Magdaline, and Io, adding their Omnigram handles to my otherwise empty contact list.

The Silverfox balcony led to a wide stairwell where many Mystagogues already stood. A massive statue blocked the doorway into the tower–a magnificent marble fox with vast, feathered wings, its argent fur shimmering in the soft light of the stairwell. As we approached, the statue became animated, its head turned, glowing eyes, sharp and intelligent, focusing on us.

"I am Argentiss Silverfox, the Cantigeist of your new domain," the statue spoke in a cheeky, female voice.

A pause hung in the air, thick with anticipation. Then Argentiss continued, a sly grin spreading across her fox muzzle. "All of you have exactly seven hours, seven minutes and seven seconds to impress me."

A collective murmur rippled through the group of new Silverfox students who had gathered behind us, drawn by the Cantigeist's voice.

"Impress you how?" a tall, Dover Demon Omnid stepped forward, his voice laced with imperious curiosity.

"Trick, bamboozle, rob or deceive another party in Skyfall or in Giant's Causeway town," The winged fox paused again, letting her words sink in. "Fail to do so, and you will be banished from my House, relegated to those less clever creatures far below me."

A flurry of whispers broke out amongst the students. 'Bamboozle someone?', 'Seven hours?', 'Banished?'. The pressure was suddenly on.

The statue stepped aside, its massive form shifting and revealing a doorway behind it. "Below the tower lies the Foxglen Den Artifactorium," Argentiss announced, gesturing with a paw towards the newly revealed passage. "Your Common Room and dormitories are above. Make good use of my resources within the allotted time, and you shall be rewarded with a soft, warm bed. Fail my test and your robes will turn gray once again and you will have to beg the Sword to re-sort you." With a sharp clap of large fox paws, a pulse of silver magic washed over each of us, a tingling sensation that seemed to settle deep within my bones.

Suddenly, a notification flashed atop of everyone's Lazarus bracelet [-7:07:07 to Impress your House Cantigeist to gain access to the dorms.]

Then the countdown shifted to [-7:07:06]

The older students rushed into the Artifactorium.

I laughed, cutting through the nervous whispers of other first year students. "Seven hours? Pfff. Right then." I turned to other foxes on the stairwell. "Whoever wishes to gain access to the dorms asap, please follow our group!"

The tall, gray Omnid from before raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And why exactly should we follow you?" he asked, voice dripping with clear disdain for nullborns.

I shrugged, offering a disarming smile. "If you have a brilliant idea on how to meet our Fox-god's expectations on your own, by all means, be my guest. But anyone wanting to get to a warm bed right now instead of flapping around aimlessly should probably stick with us."

"That's right," Vespera snapped her talons producing an Electrofractal flash. "We know what we're doing! This clever 'bold speaks for me for he's my property! I'm Vespera Simmi, Primaborn Thunderland Princess and if you want to beat all the records stick with me and my posse!"

At her declaration, a good number of students, both Omnids and their mixed-blood kobold companions, began to gather around us. It was mostly people who had clapped hard to Cinder's song. About a dozen students in total ended up forming a loose group around us.

"Alright," I said, addressing the group. "Into the Artifactorium!"

We went down the stairwell.

"Scrolls, please." I held out my hand as I stopped at an empty work table.

"Why would we give you our House scrolls?" A black-winged Lamashtu beside me asked.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

I sniffed her, pulling at the Astral to determine who she was.

"Ah, Lilith Moongriss," I smiled.

"Huh? Do we… know each other?" She blinked, tilting her dark wolf-head down at me.

"We did," I nodded. "Before the Celestorm. I'm Alexander Stratos. A pleasure to meet you, again, Miss Moongriss. Let's reconnect on Omnigram."

Lilith and I shook hands and exchanged phone taps.

"You look like a very poor kobold," Lilith commented at my shoddy phone.

"Appearances can be deceiving," I grinned at her. "Would a truly fabulous fox throw about their wealth like a dragon, or would he pretend to be a little poor mouse?"

"Hrm," Lilith pursed her lips. "Fine, I'll bite."

I picked up a small, silver, sound and scry-blocking artifact from a nearby alcove–a simple, elegant disc of polished metal with a concealment rune. I activated it, placing it in the center of our small gathering. A faint hum emanated from it, creating a zone of privacy surrounding our table.

"Right then," I explained, "we're going to scramble our names around to bamboozle the Saxtant Dormitory Keeper Knight, modify our dormitory contracts. A simple, elegant solution."

"You want to trick the Resident Knight?" Io asked.

"Yep," I nodded, unrolling a few scrolls on the table. "I don't want to be placed in a random ass room specified by this scroll. I'd like to room with my dragons." I waved a hand at Cinder and Vespera.

"This is a magical scroll contract," Lilith pointed out.

"And this is a magical Artificery with many tools specializing in forgery," I waved my hand at the tools all around us. "It should be no problem for us to figure out how to mess up the scroll data."

"Aren't these connected to the Academy's wards?" Vespera asked.

"Are they?" I asked. "Why don't you check."

"They should be," she picked up a scroll and sent electric current through it. "Ah. They aren't connected to anything yet, but there is a connection there waiting to be made. I guess the Keeper Knight upstairs does the final binding."

"Bingo," I nodded. "The Knight registers the scroll to a room and binds its owner for a year to a specific bed. The Knight is the weakest link, our target to socially hack to impress our House Cantigeist. If we all trade our scrolls around and mod our names from the beginning, he'll never know the truth. Sounds good?"

Eager nods all around.

"Now," I said. "Let's make a list. Who wants to room with whom? Also, let's trade Omnigrams for future shenanigans!"

. . .

The silver anti-scrying disc hummed softly, creating a pocket of relative quiet amidst the clanging and whirring of the Foxglen Den Artifactorium. Scrolls rustled as we laid them out on the polished metal table. A flurry of quick whispers and murmurs ensued as we sorted ourselves into desired roommate pairings.

Vespera had already taken charge of the scrolls, her magisteel talons tapping across the parchment. "Mags can you smell any magical defenses on these things?"

Magdaline leaned closer, her red eyes narrowing as she sniffed at a scroll. "Faint imprint. Mostly just… registration runes. Nothing too complex. Easily bypassed."

"Excellent," Vee grinned, sparks dancing at her fingertips. "Let's get to work!" She gestured towards the array of artificer tools lining the walls–delicate etching needles, rune-scribing quills, vials of shimmering magic inks, scrubbing acids and projectors displaying arcane diagrams.

Magdaline and Vee dove into the task with focused intensity. Vee rapidly splashed ink-melting acids and manipulated the etching needles to delicately alter the names on the scrolls.

Lilith, who had no friends at Skyfall, and was assigned to the girls dorm decided to join our group to make us into the desired six roommates configuration. She traded her scroll with that of Yara-ma-yha-who Tate.

I recalled that I had transferred Lilith and Tate from the prison island to Skyfall, paying for their education from the corporate account of Thunder and Rainbow. It seemed that the dimensional shear had kept them registered here.

Lilith and Tate, while less magically inclined in artificery, provided valuable organizational skills, keeping track of which names were swapped with whom, and ensuring that no scroll went unaccounted for and that new roommate configurations were acceptable for everyone involved.

As we worked, a large Depictomancy painting of a silver fox, hanging on the far wall of the Artifactorium watched us.

"Guys," Tate murmured, glancing at the painting. "I think we're being observed."

"Let her watch," I waved at the portrait. "We're being cunning, aren't we? Pretty sure that's what she wants us to do."

Vespera, without looking up from her meticulous scroll work, chuckled. "Yeah, cheeky Geist wants us to mess with the school, so mess we shall! Go foxes, go!"

The fox in the painting remained silent, its silver gaze fixed on our bustling group.

After what felt like a whirlwind of focused activity, the scrolls were finished. Names were swapped, underlying runes were re-scribed, and illusions were carefully woven to mask the alterations. We checked and double-checked our work, ensuring that everything was as seamless as possible.

"Right then," I announced, gathering the modified scrolls. "Roommate groups, assemble!"

We sorted ourselves out. Our newly sorted roommate group consisted of: Cinder, Vee, Lilith, Mags, Io and myself.

"Okay, operation 'Foxglen Den Infiltration' is a go," Vespera declared, clapping her magisteel talons together.

"Now onto stage two," I nodded. "Disguises!"

"Easy," Cinder snapped her fingers and her face and body rearranged itself into that of a bulkier, slightly shorter version of herself. "Good?" She asked in a deep, male voice.

"That will bamboozle the Knight, but it won't trick the Saxtant scanner runes on the boy's dormitory entrance," Mags inhaled.

"Ugh," the male Cinder crossed her arms. "So how are we getting into the male dorm?"

"I can incept a male memetic demon into your head," Lilith offered.

"What kind?" I asked.

"A dreaming one," Lilith said. "Basically, he'll wake up whenever there's an ID scanner pointed at you and blot out the forefront of your mind and soul for just a second."

"Not sure if I want a sus memetic in my head," Cinder huffed.

"I'm a professional memetic designer," Lilith said. "Trust me, I've fooled all sorts of scanners with my demon-boys."

Cinder looked at the others for support.

"I trust Lilith," I said. "She's worked for our Clan as a Sixie here and on Arx before the dimensional shift. Besides, Vee can boot a memetic out if it misbehaves. Right, Vee?"

"Ye," Vespera nodded. "I'm pretty good at zapping things outta heads using Dreamancy. Aight, let's do it! Memetic me up, Lil!"