Chapter 136: Back into the Storm
He hadn't been in his right mind today. Not since this afternoon at the hospital, not during the drive, and certainly not when he'd put his hand around Lila's throat in the middle of traffic.
He'd lost control. Multiple times. In ways that weren't just out of character... they were dangerous.
And the worst part?
He could still feel her lips on his.
The memory burned through him... soft and desperate and pleading... and he hated how vividly he could recall it.
The way she'd tasted. The way her hands had gripped his shirt like she was drowning and he was the only thing keeping her afloat.
"Fuck!" The word burst out of him, sharp and frustrated.
He slammed his palm against the steering wheel, the impact doing nothing to dispel the images flooding his mind.
Her eyes, wide and desperate. Her voice, breaking as she apologized. Her body, pressing against his in that final, reckless attempt to make him stay.
Why can't I get her out of my head?
Alex pulled over abruptly, the car jerking to a stop on the shoulder of a quiet residential street.
He sat there, engine idling, breathing hard like he'd been running.
This wasn't him. This wasn't who he was supposed to be. He was controlled, measured, rational.
He didn't let women get under his skin like this. Didn't let anyone make him lose his grip on himself.
But Lila...
Lila had burrowed so deep he couldn't seem to extract her no matter how hard he tried.
And now, sitting here, he had to confront an uncomfortable truth: part of him didn't want to.
Part of him... some reckless, self-destructive part he didn't recognize... wanted to turn this car around. Wanted to go back to her apartment, storm inside, and finish what she'd started.
No.
He shook his head sharply, trying to clear it.
That was insane. That was exactly the kind of loss of control that had gotten him into this mess in the first place.
He needed to go home. Needed to put distance between himself and Lila. Needed to rebuild the walls she'd torn down and remember who the hell he was supposed to be.
But then, a darker thought slipped in... quiet at first, then impossible to ignore.
Why are you running from her?
Wasn't she the perfect distraction? The one thing that could drown out the mess with Linda... the guilt, the grief, the noise in his head that never shut up?
The idea was dangerous. Addictive.
Yes. Why not go back and deal with her properly? End this on your terms.
Confront her, expose whatever game she was playing, and remind her who was really in control.
He wasn't being weak... he was taking control. Putting an end to her manipulations once and for all.
She'd crossed every line, and someone needed to put her in her place. This wasn't about impulse or emotion. It was about clarity. About closure.
But even as he thought it, his hands were already moving.
The car shifted into reverse.
Alex's mind screamed at him to stop, to think this through, to not do whatever stupid thing he was about to do.
But his body wasn't listening.
He was already turning around. Already heading back the way he'd come.
Back toward her apartment.
Back toward the woman who'd just tried to destroy him and somehow made him want her even more in the process.
I'm losing my fucking mind.
The thought was distant, detached, drowned out by the roar of need and fury and something he refused to name coursing through his veins.
He knew this was a mistake.
He did it anyway.
***
The gate to her apartment was still hanging open when he arrived... careless, unguarded, just like everything else about today.
Alex killed the engine and sat there for a moment, staring up at the building.
Last chance to leave.
Last chance to walk away before you do something you can't take back.
But his hand was already on the door handle.
He was out of the car before he could talk himself out of it, moving through the open gate, up the steps, down the hallway to her apartment.
The door was unlocked.
Of course it was.
Alex pushed it open slowly, his senses immediately on high alert.
The apartment was dark except for a sliver of light coming from what he assumed was the bedroom.
Her clothes were everywhere... her blouse, her skirt, the delicate scraps of lace that made his pulse jump.
He hated that the sight of them made him hard. Hated that even after everything, she could still get to him like this.
The sound of running water reached his ears. The shower.
Something in his chest tightened... a mixture of anticipation and fury and need he couldn't untangle.
He moved deeper into the apartment, past the discarded clothes, toward the bathroom where steam was beginning to seep out from under the door.
And then the water shut off.
Alex froze, every muscle in his body tensing.
A moment later, the bathroom door opened.
Lila stepped out, skin still damp, a towel clutched loosely in one hand but not wrapped around her body...
She froze when she saw him.
"Alex..." she whispered, shock and something else lighting up her expression.
Her body trembled, not from fear, but from a rush of heat, desire, and the realization that he was here, despite everything.
Her towel slipped from her fingers, falling to the floor in a soft thud. Naked, exposed, she felt more alive than she had in years.
Her pulse thundered in her ears. A smile curved her lips, wild and unrestrained.
Alex's eyes drank her in, dark with turmoil and raw need. His mind was a storm... every thought of restraint gone, every image of Linda erased by the sight of her standing there.
He took long, deliberate steps toward her, each one echoing the rhythm of his pulse.
Before she could react, he was in front of her, hands pressing her firmly against the wall. The heat of his tall, muscular body enveloped her completely, leaving her bare skin trembling where it met him.
Her breath caught in her throat, a sharp gasp escaping her lips as she felt the weight and strength of him pressing her into the cold surface behind her.
"Ah... Alex…" she moaned, her voice cracking, part surprise, part desire, as her body instinctively arched into him.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, trying to steady herself, but also clutching him closer, craving the relentless pressure of him against her bare skin.
His lips crushed onto hers in a kiss that was demanding, claiming, leaving no space for hesitation.
The sudden closeness, the sheer force of his presence, made her gasp again, her body responding before her mind could even catch up.
Her entire being was alive, every nerve on fire, as she felt how impossibly tall and strong he was, pinning her in place... and she couldn't help but want it, even as fear and longing tangled together in her chest.
They parted just enough to gasp for air. His chest heaved, eyes dark, almost black, blazing with something untamed and feral.
"This… this is what you wanted," he growled, voice low and cutting, teeth grazing her lower lip, each word sharp like a whip. "Haven't you, you little bitch."
Her breath hitched, shallow and ragged. Her knees threatened to buckle, but she pressed closer, body trembling, caught between fear and a thrill she couldn't resist. Every nerve in her screamed both warning and invitation.
"Yes… Alex…" she whispered, voice trembling, quivering with need and panic. "I… I want you… only you…"
A shiver ran down her spine, her fingers digging into his chest as if holding on could anchor her through the storm of desire and intimidation coursing through her.
Her pulse pounded in her ears, and she could feel her own heat slick against her skin, betraying how much she was craving him even as terror gripped her.
Alex's lips curled into something almost cruel, almost violent. "Damn right," he hissed, voice rough, raw. "And now you'll learn what happens when you play with fire, bitch."