Shattered Moonstone

Hecatolite saw it, the moment her foot landed on the root, what this tree was. Memories flooded her mind of countless times she had seen them, the “trees” though that was a very loose description. Some of them were trees just like this one, others were massive volcanoes or huge underwater plants that inhabited the deepest depths of an ocean. But no matter what form they took, they were the same.

They always had defenders, be it a race of humanoids that defended the land or wild beast; and these defenders always attacked her. No matter how she approached, or what she did, they attacked her.

They always grew on a ley line, a spot that had an abundance of natural mana from the world, something she had found odd before but never thought much about. All she needed to know back then was if she were to dig beneath a “tree” she would find mana, if she drank the mana, it would make her stronger. That was likely why the defenders attacked her now that she thought about it, not that it really matters now.

Another similarity was that there were three, on every world that had anything resembling mana there were three of them on three separate ley lines… though now she knew the ley lines were actually worldwide, just spots in the world where the mana from the core could reach the surface.

She had never thought about it before, what purpose they served… then again thinking about the memories she had about the “trees” they were all… strange. Unlike the whispers they were definitely her own memories, she could feel that much. But unlike most of her memories these ones were… old, very old. Like the humming memories she had sometimes, they carried no thoughts with them, just feelings and images.

She knew that she hated these trees, deep down something inside of her wanted nothing more than to burn it to the ground and bathe in the mana beneath it but she couldn’t understand why… she was already strong enough that nothing in this world could hurt her in a way that mattered. She had proven that when the system declared her dead and she didn’t die. So that wasn’t it.

Then it clicked. It wasn’t the “tree” she hated, but what it brought.

Every time she found a world with world trees, they came, the never dies. It was so strange, her memories never connected the two, yet she hated the trees. But now she was… different? Could that be it, has she changed from before? Is that why the old memories are strange?

She supposed that could be it, maybe the old her couldn’t think properly… or maybe it just didn’t care. All she knew was the trees held power and that’s what she needed to survive, but now that she had it would they come? If she didn’t attack the tree would the never dies come to defend it? They had always come in the past…

Surely you know why they always came. Overseer’s voice cut though yet another memory of the never dies attacking her.

Because the trees are part of them? She guessed only for Overseer to scoff.

That’s how they knew you attacked one, but not why they came. World trees are destroyed all the time, they regrow if left alone long enough as long as the ley line isn’t disturbed.

So they came because I ate the mana? If that’s the case why put a massive tree on it, wouldn’t it be better to hide the ley line if they didn’t want people poking at them?

Because the trees are needed. I feel it’s pertinent to point out they are normally not easy to find outside of the ones made by Life herself. Light’s tree is a volcano that most would avoid regardless, and darkness puts hers at the bottom of the oceans. At its words, the memories shifted to show the two other types of “trees” she knew of. They came because if you destroy all three, or completely drain the ley line, the world itself will die.

So what, life can’t exist without a tree?

Hardly, Overseer actually laughed. The trees convert the world’s mana into the barrier around the world that protects it from the void. If they are removed the world will still try to defend itself by taking mana from the life forms that dwell on it. That's what a harvester world is, a world that has no mana of its own but enough life to maintain its “shell” without a world tree. That is also why there is no magic on those worlds, all the mana is being absorbed to protect it from the void.

That doesn’t explain this. She replied as she watched yet another memory of her running away from the never dies. She didn’t win all that often, she realized, but she was faster than they were; after all, they always stopped to help the weaker souls that got in the way.

Hardly, this is the byproduct of a lot of mishaps on everyone’s part. Mainly yours, partly theirs.

So will they come now?

They will try yes. Overseer replied, its voice flat as it continued. Though they will find it much more difficult this time, you made sure of that.

I did?

Yes, you locked this world out of their system by exploiting their own safety measures against you. If they wished to get to you now, they would need to travel here from the nearest habitable world within the system meaning it will likely be years before they arrive.

That was smart of me.

Indeed. But now is the point of all of this. Hecatolite, what is it you want?

What I want. She paused, the memory before her stopping as she did. I don’t know, these are long. Maybe a snack?

Overseer sighed, let me rephrase it. What is it you desire of this world, Me. Do you wish for its destruction, as you have in the past? If not, will you remain here knowing the “never dies” are going to come here for you?

Hecatolite chewed her lip as she thought. On the one hand she knew destroying the world would be very bad. She was pretty sure everyone would be upset with her if she did that, but the never dies coming was also bad. She wasn’t sure why, but she knew that they were very mean to her, but… why? All she ever did was want to live, and to do that she needed to be strong.

But she was strong now! She knew that, she knew lots of things now… why does she know so much now. She always tried to not think about it, whenever she did the whispers got really loud… but… No.

No?

Just no. I like this world. Everyone lives here, so no. I don’t want to destroy it. I also don’t want to run. It’s my home. So, no. If they come I will tell them to leave. If they don’t then I will eat them. I am strong now.

Ok then, Overseer sounded… relieved as it continued. Then we don’t absorb the mana in this world.

Well duh, mana makes me sick remember.

Yes, that was part of the plan after all.

What plan are you talking about? I don’t remember planning anything.

That… Hecatolite, do you know what you are? What you were before you became you? before you ate me?

Hecatolite’s head hurt as she thought about the question, I… I am…

The world shifted around her, the void twisting into a single point before snapping back into focus. She found herself standing in a room made of glass, a dark terminal floating in the center of the room as red lights flashed all around her.

Staring at the terminal she caught a glimpse of the reflection on its dark surface. The haggard face that looked back was familiar… her own face yet… not. It looked human, well human enough. A single large red eye locked onto itself, the other having long since been destroyed the socket now a mess of scar tissue that encompassed over half her face, the nose was a flat malformed thing that looked as if it had been torn off more than once leaving little more than a hole where her nostrils were. The cheek under the missing eye was gone, leaving sharp teeth of full display as the reflection panted.

She could see a hand appear in her vision, a long spindly arm covered in scars that ended in three long talon-like claws and two nubs that she assumed at one point had been fingers, tapped on the terminal.

It didn’t respond, causing anger to flare inside of her.

she slammed a hand into the terminal.

Still nothing.

The anger was quickly replaced by fear as she heard far off banging. Then relief as the terminal flickered to life.

“Will you continue to run?” It asked out loud.

She did not answer… No, she couldn’t answer. As she slammed her hand on the terminal again and again. She needed it to do… the thing. The thing it always did when she came here, the portal to a different world. That’s what she needed, why is this box not doing the thing!

“They will catch you eventually, you know?’ It asked as if that mattered. Of course, they would catch her, that’s why she needed to become stronger!

One of the walls cracked and she was overcome by fear, cowering behind the terminal as small flames poured through the cracks. But the wall held, for now.

She began frantically beating on the terminal, unable to speak, to think. She needed to escape, to go somewhere where she could rest and get stronger! Dumb box, do the thing!

“What if you could end this all?” It asked as she pounded on it.

This dumb thing always talked, always tried to stop her, to slow her down! She needed to run, the strong things were coming!

“I could help you.” It finally said though she didn’t understand.  

It was strange, Hecatolite knew what the terminal was saying but the memory her… didn’t. It was honestly kind of nauseating, and made her head hurt. The her now knew how to talk, but the old her didn’t, she could think now but the old her only knew how to feel. She knew now why she was afraid, but the memory only knew that she was scared.

She was about to die, if the wall broke, she would die, if the box didn’t do the thing she would die.

The never die that used fire was chasing her. If Overseer didn’t open the portal to another world, he would catch her and kill her. And no matter how strong she was she could still die…

But that… didn’t make sense. Hecatolite could always think… she thought. She always knew stuff but this memory her… didn’t? Was this really her then?

“Do you want to live?” Overseer asked.

Another wall cracked and she started to cry as she pounded on the box. Why would it not do the thing! The thing that sent her elsewhere, why did she have to die! It wasn’t fair, she didn’t do anything, she just wanted to be left alone to live but they always came!

This dumb box wouldn’t do the thing though! She was going to be eaten! In a last ditch effort, she bit the box, she never liked eating the boxes. They tasted bad but they had power in them! Maybe it would be enough to defend herself, it was only one never dies after all. She had eaten him before too, maybe she could do it again?

The entire world froze as she bit into the terminal. The fire froze in the air as suddenly it knew… everything.

It was… painful. Hecatolite suddenly knew everything at once, the voices told her what she was and what she had done. She understood why the primordial court wanted to kill her, why everyone ran from her… it was her own fault. She killed so many, so many lives… she could hear them. Inside of her, the souls of the dead.

Not only that there were… more. So many more… make it stop! It’s too much… the voices! They were so loud, they hurt. So many of them were in pain, crying out as they drowned out even the most cheerful of voices… Why was there so much pain in the universe, so much suffering!

“Stop…” was the first words anyone ever heard the chimera say as Light finally broke into the system's core room. The creature curled in on itself as it clutched its head beside the broken terminal that acted as the core of the system.

Light hated her. Saw her as a monster that needed to be purged from the world. She knew that now, she knew exactly what he thought as he wordlessly strode toward her with his flaming sword held high. She knew he wouldn’t stop, even if she begged him to.

As he brought the sword down, the sword that had caused so much pain in the past. The very sword that took her tail a lifetime ago… but now it brought salvation. Yes, if the sword came down, she wouldn’t hear the voices anymore! That would make them stop!

It… it didn’t. She could still hear them! The voices, the pain! Make it stop! It’s too much, I can’t… I can’t even… think. That’s it, thinking! I need to think now. But they are so loud!

Everything faded around her again leaving her in the void as the screaming voices faded back into the whispers she was so used to.

You… fought for ages after that. Always reforming and running from the thoughts around you. I thought if I gave you my power, turned you into what they tried to make me, that it would stop you but… it drove you insane. Overseer sounded sorrowful, I overestimated how powerful you were…

I’m not crazy. Hecatolite bit back.

Of course not. Overseer replied with almost a chuckle,

but it was far too much for you. It took ages for you to grow, being shattered over and over again as you tried desperately to silence the worlds around you. Until finally you… broke. Hecatolite your soul shattered and never reformed fully again, always broken to defend yourself from the voices. That’s why I am able to talk with you like this, I am you, part of you at least. The part of you we kept around to keep the voices away. I watch over them, keep them quiet.

That doesn’t make sense, I am me and you are you.

No Hecatolite, we are Me. I didn’t think I should share this all with you because we feared it would drive us mad again. Turn us back to what we were.

That still doesn’t make sense. Hecatolite chuckled at the dumb box, it couldn’t even tell who was who.

I am more than capable of differentiating who is who, Hecatolite. Are you?

Did… did you read my mind?

No, I am part of you Hecatolite. It was clear that Overseer was starting to get annoyed. Hecatolite, what are you? What makes you you?

Well that’s easy. Hecatolite laughed again only to stop when she thought about it. What did make her… well her. She was Hecatolite sure, but what made her that as opposed to say… Amethyst. Why was she different…

The whispers grew louder as she thought, that was it. Thoughts, the whispers were thoughts. She could hear them, thoughts from everywhere, the things that made us all different, unique.

What…. am I? I am thought… that’s it. I think, and therefore I am. And I am Me. Suddenly it made sense to her. She was Me, and Me was Hecatolite. Overseer was the system she ate to become Me, but… If she could hear everyone’s thoughts then what was she? If she was her own thoughts but could also hear everyone else’s thoughts was she truly herself? Or was she everyone? Was everyone her? No that can’t be, she was Hecatolite not Amethyst, Amethyst was Amethyst and Hecatolite was…

This is why I didn’t want to tell you all of this. Overseer’s voice crashed through her mind silencing all the whispers around her as she suddenly became positive she was not Amethyst… or she thinks she's not at least… No, she was definitely Hecatolite. That’s it, yes. She is Me, and Me is Hecatolite. Whew that got confusing for a second. She thought… In Overseer’s voice.

She coughed and switched her thoughts back to her own voice. Ok, so if I am Me… and you are Me, but different… Then why are you telling me this now? Didn’t you say we didn’t want us knowing this?

This is confusing us. Overseer sighed, Ok, putting all that aside for now. Hecatolite, we… I needed to show this to you now because… Well at the bare minimum Life now knows you are free. She will probably tell Death…

Aren’t we like… thought? Shouldn’t we know what they are thinking?

If we wanted to hear all the thoughts in the universe again, sure we could do that, but it didn’t exactly work out for us before. It's way too hard to pinpoint a single person to hear their thoughts, especially if they are really far away. We could probably listen in on a few people around us but even that could be dangerous, we kind of overwhelm people and turn their thoughts into ours… short bursts are fine, like we did when Amethyst was being attacked at the dock, but any more than that would be… dangerous.

            That’s true I guess. It wouldn’t be much fun if everyone became Me.

            Which is why we keep our mind fractured like we do. It keeps the whispers quiet if we can just ignore them. Push them aside to a part of us we aren’t using.

            And you are in charge of what… all the parts?

            No, technically… well you are. Hecatolite you are the main consciousness of Me. You are all that is left of your original core, even if all of Me were to die you would remain. You, Hecatolite are Me, the endless abyss, the Primordial of thought. Nothing in this world can change that now, and the others are not happy about that. We… You had a plan, a… Well a good plan or so we thought… kind of.

            Is… Is this all part of this plan?

            Overseer was quiet for a long time before replying, yes. I can’t tell you more because…

            The plan requires me not to know the plan. That’s not a very good plan.

            Honestly, I agree, but… well it's worked this far. Well minus dying that one time… and this time. But we are getting better so it’s ok. Besides, you’re going to forget most of this anyway, that isn’t part of the plan but just who you are. You're just going to remember that Life is probably on her way now. It’ll take a while for her to get here, not that it matters. You already told us you plan to stay here and protect this world so… Well, good luck.

            With that Hecatolite opened her eyes to find… “Calamari?” She asked as she looked up into the bright green eyes of the woman above her.