NOVEL NEXT Chapter 75: Fellow Humanisms
Jack set about showing the disguised, dubiously-humanish Neex around — he could not think of her as 'Ira' in private, disguise or no — starting with the immediate living room. She got to see some pictures of his family, as he'd dug out a few that were in frames to sit on the top of a cabinet. She asked who everyone was. She got to see his dad from when he was a kid, when his mother had taken a candid picture of them playing with intricate linking blocks. Young Jack had just caught her with the camera, looking up from out of deep concentration, but his dad, sporting his ridiculous mustache of those years, was caught entirely oblivious, grinning down at dubious-looking dinosaur constructs they'd fabricated.
Jack still remembered why he was smiling, despite the vagueness of those years — Jack had done a bang-up job making a t-rex mouth with white, jagged teeth. Because his dad had exclaimed about it and encouraged him, he'd spent a lot of time on it afterward, making a bona fide T. rex. His dad had been surprised and proud when he'd finally revealed the impressive finished product. Jack had a picture of them together with him holding it, but somehow the one with his candid, genuine smile was his favorite.
That smile, and even the taking of it, was something of a magical 'Beforetime.' Before a waning relationship and increasing friction between his parents, before the workaholic period, before myriad troubles that began a new era.
Neex smiled at the picture too, and exclaimed, "You both liked dinosaurs!" She was also amazed to see his uncle when he was younger, gasping as she said, "He looks so totally different! Humans change much more than Deucalians with age."
She was a bit mortified when she saw the kitchen, as he had food still lying around, obviously cooked and smelling up the place. She insisted he eat, so Jack did so, fixing up egg and sausage sandwiches and giving her one — after ensuring she'd eat it. But she accepted immediately and chomped down as they sat down at the table, savoring the food happily and commenting that 'chicken eggs' were one of her favorite things about New Babylon. Her favorite way to eat them was boiled, but she also liked fried eggs, over hard or scrambled. Runny eggs? Not so much.
"Ever had deviled eggs?" Jack asked as they ate.
The humanish Neex blinked and shook her head. "Nope, what's that?"
Jack smiled. "We'll get some sometime and you can try 'em."
"Oh, okay!" Munch, munch, munch.
Jack showed Neex the rest of his space as well, though he was slightly peeved about his bedroom not being ready for company. Fortunately, Neex was very pleased to see everything, not shy at all about poking around and asking about everything that existed, endlessly curious.
Like his small, old rotating fan. "So, it utilizes a small electric motor to… blow air around, mostly stationary? Huh. And this is pleasing?"
"Yeah," Jack replied, shrugging. "A bit more airflow makes it feel cooler. The sound is something I got used to, which is why I have a dirt-cheap, noisy one. I guess I technically don't have tinnitus now, but I used to. Ringing in the ears. Dead silence was annoying."
She looked up at him in puzzlement. "Your medical technology couldn't fix that?"
Jack shrugged again. "Probably. But I never asked. Simpler solutions, I guess."
"Oh! I see. Less drain on resources. Very noble!"
Jack winced. "I can't claim that. Personal stoicism, not wanting to bother, so on. Stubbornness, maybe? Like a guy not going to a doctor despite obviously needing to. Or putting duct tape on a cut instead of fussing with a bandage."
Neex's eyes squinted, and a finger went to her lips as she puzzled over it. "Using tape. To make do in an emergency when better isn't available?"
"Nope. Even with bandages available."
The humanish Neex searched his face suspiciously, as if expecting it a joke. "Are you serious?"
Jack chuckled and shrugged. Finally, he wiped his humor off his face and nodded vehemently. "I've seen it often."
"I don't understand. Why use an inferior method if a superior one is available and literally beneficial to one's physical being?"
"I dunno. More 'manly,' I guess."
She stared at him, and her pupils did a melty dance. In exasperation, she exclaimed, "Humans shouldn't be manly if it earns them unnecessary infections!"
Jack held up his hands in surrender. "Agreed, Agent Ira, agreed. In any case, I don't have tinnitus, and I promise that I already use band-aids when needed. Though being a Non, it's probably a moot point. So… all that's left to see is the bathroom, but I don't think-"
"Yes, I'd love to see it!" Neex hurried over into it, soon calling from inside, "It's bigger than the one we forged our bond in!"
Jack sighed and followed after her.
Neex poked around some more, asking about various items and products. She picked up his triple-bladed shaving razor lying by the sink. He'd never stowed it away, despite that it was useless to him.
As she poked at the razor-containing head, Jack called, "There are razors inside, so you know."
Neex blinked and held it further away, though still twisting it to study the razors. "It's a weapon? Or a utility cutter?"
"I guess you could call it utility. It's actually to shave hairs on the face. Primarily."
Her head snapped over to him in shock. Her hoodie was down by then, and her 'hair' flicked around for a moment. "You use razor-sharp blades on your face?!"
Jack laughed as he waved his hands. "Safety razors! They're angled just so, and we use water and shaving cream. Here." He took the razor from her and ran it over his cheek, as Neex cringed and two of her tentacles forgot to be hair and covered her eyes. She slowly peeked over.
Grinning, Jack ran it over his other cheek and shrugged. "See? Sometimes nicks do occur, but they're quite superficial." He gave her back the razor. "Anyway, I don't need it thanks to the bond. It made my skin permanently ultra-smooth. Just glad it didn't take my eyebrows or head of hair."
Neex did not try out the razor on herself, instead setting it down like it was a weapon. She studied him as he mentioned his hair and nodded in agreement. "You would look different. I prefer these familiar traits as well!"
"Great to hear!"
Her eyes went squinty and shifted side to side. "Unless you're undercover, such as I am right now."
"Right."
After some final bits of the tour with her looking in his bathroom cabinets like it was a normal thing — and Jack unwilling to correct her — the tour was finally complete.
When they filtered back to the living room, Neex asked, "May we sit? I have confirmational news of our trip!" She grinned widely. "Fully authorized."
"Of course," Jack replied as he plopped on the couch.
Neex — practicing her 'human manners,' it would appear — sat down a bit too deliberately and slowly, with proper airs, crossing one leg over the other and setting her hands down on her knee. It was the way someone would sit if they'd watched a 'proper posture' video. "I surmise you already know on some level, but when the mission and members are fully ready at an indeterminate point in the future, a team including us will proceed to Deucalia by submarine. If all remains viable."
She paused, considering her words. "There are many different purposes to the trip. One is diplomatic, of course. My trip was not approved by the Palanarch despite the approval of Quallakuloth. Though communication between the various parties is… difficult and strained… some things have become known — or I should say, communicated. One-way, for the most part, on our end. My trip, naturally; vague reflections of results. That I'm alive. This may be half-believed despite all evidence, thanks to abundance of caution-fear-worry-pragmatism at the capabilities of deceiving predators, and…"
She looked down at the floor. "There were tragic deaths, of course. Again, things are strained. I need to get in the water to smooth things over with long-range, direct communication. This will be more trusted in the habit-codes of my people." She looked up and saw Jack's face. "Erm… Behavioral codes of conduct? Like a code of honor. What's expected and what is proper, trumping even what may seem logical to more natural, hyper-aggressive predators like Sky Humans."
Jack blinked as he nodded slowly, but in truth, he was confused and missing context. "Can Q-Loth not properly communicate with them? Does it not run the show? Or am I just missing how much it agrees with what we want?"
Neex sagged as she sighed, head dropping. "We are in a predicament. Q-Loth indeed doesn't dominate our decisions: it is a guide and helper; at one time, a great liberator. Our origin history is a longer story, but for now, suffice to say that we are more predisposed to hiding from danger. Your people did not find us, yes? Memoria knew of entities in The Calm, knew of the oddity that is The Calm, and in recent years has felt the territorial pressure directly, but we are nigh impossible to find directly. Nonetheless, inevitably, your territorial expansion would feel out our centralization, and she could have attacked just based on this. We are not entirely helpless when backed into a corner, but war would be bad for us.
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"Our rare legendary warriors perished instead of thriving; we failed and lost wars of expansion… lost outposts and too many lives. We defaulted over time to our more natural specialty for survival: hiding and avoiding conflicts. It is no permanent solution, however. Our tendencies would suit an Earth with a free-ranging ocean we could pioneer. But it is not that, and we cannot wander. With every passing year, things get worse. Big fish swallowing little fish. We need allies. That is the mutual belief of those who came and the deduction of Quallakuloth. But not the final word."
She blew air out of her mouth, making a rather comical vibrating noise that was likely more 'seriously' dramatic to Deucalians, considering her expression. "I would not be saying these things had Memoria not revealed the damning evidence to show she'd quickly figured it all out. Despite an unfortunate bargaining position, we thankfully have very special things to offer her. What is more valuable to her than the pearls of conquest? Her children. We can help her grow closer to those estranged from her, clear away the afflictions killing them, and amplify the raw power and capability of humanity. Because of this, she…" Neex closed her eyes and took a breath. "She will protect us. Ally — if we can ensure cooperation. In time, we will grow stronger this way, adapting and evolving in line with our ally in symbiosis."
Jack felt empathy to hear of their plight and the vulnerability that was admitted. Or expanded on, at least. And Neex… she could be a pariah among her people for doing this. Exposing their weakness before Memoria would've put it all together. "It's a tough pill for your people to swallow, in other words." As Neex nodded faintly, he huffed. "Wow. I guess we're not the only ones who are at odds with our Archon at times."
"Indeed not."
"How sure are you that you can convince them?"
"I believe I can arrange a formal, peaceful visit at Treaty Hollow for diplomacy, now that the- ah, what's the human phrase, again? The cat has been stuffed in the bag?"
"I like that one, but the phrase is 'now that the cat is out of the bag,' actually."
"Of course! Yes, that! To think, an agitated little, cute, furry predator in a bag, haha- but yes, I can convince my father to do this, preferably with finesse. If nothing else, as a condition to my return at all, but I do hope he sees reason and listens to the right voices in the council. Many will balk. At worst, they'd stall something that's seemingly inevitable. How could they run forever from talks with war being a potential consequence?"
Jack squinted his eyes. "Wait. Your father? Your father is the Palanarch? The head honcho?"
Neex's eyes got wider with every word, and she began to turn the color of the couch. Not helpful with the mismatched clothes.
Jack flopped backwards into the couch, throwing his head back and laughing uproariously. He finally squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "You're an actual princess."
"Jack, no!" Neex protested in exasperation. "Th-that's not correct at all! Not technically! Stop teasing!"
"Not technically?!" It only made Jack laugh harder. Wheezing a bit, he managed, "Oh, the daughter of the most powerful political figure, that's all! Not a privileged princess, nope!"
Neex grabbed hold of his arm and shoulder and shook him. "Stooop! Please! You're embarrassing meeee!"
Jack settled down and met her pleading eyes. "Shall I fetch you an hors d'oeuvre, Your Worship? Mayhap lend you my handservant?" He fought to keep his face straight.
Neex made a pitiable face, now even looking the very texture of the couch, as she flopped backwards and moaned. "Oh, why did I have to let it slip?! It could've waited… Mmnnph! Please, oh Great Currents, take me far, far away before I die!"
Chuckling at her dramatic display, Jack almost wanted to give applause. It was picture-perfect for a teen sitcom. "Cue laughtrack." He cleared his throat. "Alright, I've tortured you enough, I suppose. Whatever your importance in Deucalia, you're just Agent Ira here."
"Precisely," she replied sullenly.
Still amused, but mercifully getting back to the subject at hand, Jack said, "Judging from what I've heard, Memoria aims to send candidates for bonding along with us."
Neex sat up cross-legged, her decorum forgotten. She remained sullen. "Yes. It's an optional thing… I don't know how many will be allowed, but… erm, we're getting into more hypothetical mission specifics that you're better off waiting on. Memoria is still assimilating information and putting together solutions! We are still conspiring to bundle our goals into the most unrejectable package. It seems she has been extra super busy recently. She told me you were a part of that, by the way. After my silly little scare, where I bothered you."
"Nah, it wasn't silly. I understand you're watching out for me. You can bet I'll freak out just like you did if you had a sudden stress swing."
"So, to be manly, you must trade a bit of unmanly, to counterbalance?" By her tone, he was pretty sure she was daring to tease, with her eyes watching him carefully for offense.
Jack laughed. "You've figured out my strategy. How embarrassing!"
Neex shared in his laughter, happy she'd pulled off a 'successful tease.' She pointed at him. "Ha, I see your game and am watching you, mister!"
Jack held his hands up in surrender. "Noted. Anyway, yeah, I had the privilege of being part of an important mission and securing some key intel. Q-Loth was instrumental in that. Some of the things we've done together probably helped convince Memoria how the bonds can help us."
"This I've also heard! Though here, your connection to Quallakuloth is ironically stronger than mine, even if it must be exceedingly pertinent to connect." She sighed. "I look forward to being closer again."
"Mmn. Well, all I can do there is keep training hard." He checked the time and his schedule. "We're early morning. You could meet Augur and Inkblot in the club's buffet hall. It's been a minute since I've eaten with them."
"Awesome!" She thrust a fist up, and her 'hair' lifted up in clumps. She blinked, suddenly remembering her cover, and then returned to her 'proper' posture and smoothed her hair down. Legs crossed anew, eyes heavy-lidded, she nodded curtly and pushed her glasses up on her nose. "That is to say, yes, this would surely be a wise study topic for my notes." She pulled a small notebook from her pocket and waggled it emphatically in the air.
Smiling at her antics, Jack gave a thumbs-up. "Perfect."
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Upon first step in the breakfast banquet hall, 'Ira' marveled at the mass of people and all the foods on display. Jack had to nudge her to get her moving again from out of her stupor. Immediately, the shrewd eyes of the gathered, mostly Linewalkers, took stock of her. Ira quickly got into her cover mode, scanning everything with a clinical air and writing things in her notes as she went.
Jack waved to the devil boy, Augur, who was early and at a booth already, as usual. Augur's eyes were only briefly excited to see Jack. His eyes were soon widening in distraction as he saw Ira. His mouth dropped open slowly as he studied her.
Knowing him, he thinks she's my new girlfriend.
Meanwhile, when Inkblot saw him, it was just a familiar nod. He had no special reaction to Ira.
It's good to have a friend like Inkblot. I could grow a feet-scented fungal bloom out of my forehead and he'd still meet my eyes on either side without blinking.
Jack took his time getting food, avoiding the plentiful egg casseroles in the area to go for heaps of blueberry pancakes with syrup and whipped cream. Ira took tiny samples of a large number of different foods, soon filling up her tray.
A healthy appetite. That's a good thing!
They finally made their way over, Inkblot politely moving to sit on Augur's side despite the brief, annoyed look Augur gave him for it.
"Hey, guys. Long time, no see. This is Ira. Ira, this is Augur and Inkblot."
Ira balanced her tray on one hand to hold up her hand in greeting, nodding to them with her affected, detached airs. "A pleasure to make your acquaintances and observe you."
In Jack's head, she squealed. "Ahhhh! He's so adorable! He is like the little predator felines, so cute and deadly! I want to hug him!"
"Yeah, I guess," Jack replied with a mental shrug. "You get over it eventually when you realize he's a brat. Still, he's like a little brother to me, now."
Augur grinned, showing off his fangs as he huffed a brief laugh at Ira. He waved. "Hi there." Meanwhile, the minimalist, Inkblot, nodded placidly and silently to her in greeting.
Jack took the inner seat across from Augur as Ira took the other.
Unsurprisingly, Augur was the first to speak, flicking his spoon between them. "So what's with you two coming together?"
"I am from another platform, recently processed," Ira related smoothly, in between glancing longingly at her food. She pushed her glasses up as she regarded Augur. "Central Processing Designation Agent Ira, Special Liaison and Observational Asset. For various reasons, some classified, I was paired with Mr. Laker as a contact. In the way of non-classified synergies? We're both adjusting to a new way of life, and he is a strong observational target."
"I'll say! Jack is gonna be a super big deal, I already know. He walks with a growing swagger, have you noticed? Girls like that, too, even if it's subconscious."
"I do not," Jack protested just before cramming dessert breakfast in his mouth. "And stop acting like a 'girl psychology' expert, you cringebag."
Augur rolled his eyes. "Deny it all you want, these observers" — and he pointed at his eyes — "reveal lies on the daily! Spoken and unspoken. I can even tell you've leveled." He ate a spoonful of some kind of pudding and shrugged. "And that Ira is the strangest person I've ever seen. Putting up a front, obviously. But I've already been warned not to get into it." He grinned at Ira and tapped his temple with a finger.
Oh boy…
🎭 Patreon Link, Next Chappy — Chapter 76: Social Navigations