Shan He Biao Li

For so many days, Nanshan has not dared to touch even one of his fingers, as if there has been nothing between them.

Nanshan has been like a beast for many days, and is puzzled. In this posture, if there is no more expression, it can’t be said.

He bowed his head to seal Chu Huan’s lips, but felt the other person’s body tightened obviously.

For a very quick moment, Chu Huan’s chin lifted slightly, as if he wanted to tilt his head to hide, but behind him was the door. He had nowhere to retreat, so he had to absently cooperate.

Nan San clasped him tightly in his arms, but he felt that it was not a person holding a hand, but a handful of sand. The tighter he grasped, the faster he would not get it.

For a moment he became more at a loss and said incoherently: “I’m sorry, I … I’m sorry …”

“Well,” Chu Huan Ke nodded headlessly, pinched Nanshan’s chin, and dragged him to kiss him, “Nothing.”

Having finished speaking, he let Nanshan up and walked up his shirt sleeves, as if to wash his body and drink alcohol, his attitude was almost strange.

Nanshan couldn’t bear it. He hugged him from behind: “You talk to me, OK? Chu Huan, I beg you … Don’t do this …”

There is no lighting in the room, only the moonlight enters through the window.

Chu Huan stared at the shadow there, and the impeccable smile on his face gradually disappeared. For a long time, he spoke almost inaudibly: “You really believe …”

Nanshan: “What?”

Chu Huan recovered, and swallowed the ending with his next sentence into his throat.

I don’t intend to make Nanshan suspect that he is crazy.

These days, Chu Huan has not been able to wake up from that dream-like fire. He would like to live the rest of his life after the disaster, such as drinking a drunken drunk and arguing with Nanshan. , Whether to break up or reconcile … but not.

Chu Huan couldn’t convince himself that all this was true, not his own speculation, nor the illusion imposed on him by anything.

For several days in a row, Chu Huan spent the whole night pretending to be sleeping. He looked at Nanshan when the night was quiet. He could not help but secretly reached out and touched it, but after the touch, he thought it was too much.

If what he sees and hears is false, then according to this logic, what he encounters may not be true.

He tried many times to convince himself that he lived in the real world down to earth, but he could not find evidence.

Nothing in the world can trust him anymore. His consciousness seems to be still stuck in the endless darkness. In front of the seed at the end of the world, he is alone in the crowd or in the downtown, all alone. .

Like a weightless person, his feet can’t step on the ground anyway.

Chu Huan suddenly realized that as long as he lived for a day, he could not determine whether he lived in reality or in illusion. In this way, it seems that only by blowing the lamp and waxing a hundred times, can he be considered the same.

As soon as the thought flashed, Chu Huan’s slightly empty eyes seemed to be clear, and he decided not to consume it in such a half-death.

Thinking about this, Chu Huan raised his hand and put it on the back of Nanshanhuan’s hand on his chest, raised a long eyebrow, and chuckled casually: “Nothing-beauty, you hold me so passionately and do not let go, What are you doing? “

Nanshan said in a dumb voice: “Can’t you say something to me?”

Chu Huan broke open Nanshan’s arms, walked to the bed and sat down, unbuttoned the collar: “Well, then I tell you the truth, the mountain gate will turn back in a few days, right?”

After Nanshan froze, he seemed to know what he was going to say, his face pale and pale, and his back was stiffened involuntarily.

But Chu Huan did n’t realize the awkward silence between the two, and said to himself: “I tell you, and when it turns around, I ’m leaving, what about you … the life and death contract is still something, I do n’t I intend to comply. “

“So do you want to kill me today? Or do you sleep with me?” Chu Huan moved his light / naked neck a little: “All right, come on.”

Nanshan didn’t say anything for a long time, as if he had been struck alive by the thunderbolt of this sunny day. Chu Huan thought that Nanshan would jump like thunder. But after a long wait, Nanshan said nothing from beginning to end.

Chu Huan saw him in the dark as if he had taken something from the head of the bed, and then walked towards himself silently.

Nan Shan bent down, gently holding his shoulder, holding Chu Huan’s chin, and a gentle kiss fell on his lips, as if he wanted to pry open his lips.

Chu Huan made up his mind. Whether it was a **** knife or a lingering mess, he refused to come, so he accepted Nanshan with ease. But at the next moment, he felt that Nanshan pushed something into his mouth.

Chu Huan: “Well …”

He almost swallowed instinctively, but he was hooked by Nanshan, who could stop the thing at the tip of his tongue.

It was only then that a sweet smell came from the tip of the tongue, and Nanshan had retreated.

Chu Huan was dumbfounded and found that Nanshan had stuffed a piece of toffee in his mouth-or he brought it back when he went out to buy and sell things with Horsewhip and Dashan.

“Sweet?” Nan Shan asked softly in his ear.

Chu Huan: “… um.”

Nanshan never mentioned anything that was just said by Chu Huan, who was frustrated and crazy. He just whispered in his ear and said, “It’s a little milky, but it’s not very similar. What’s inside?”

Chu Huan didn’t seem to have recovered, and said smoothly: “Essential flavor? Well … you …”

Nanshan covered his lips and snatched back the half-sweetened sugar.

At the beginning, Nanshan’s movements were extremely clumsy, but now it seemed that practice was perfect. He was a bit slippery. He tasted for a moment and said to Chu Huan, “I still feel a bit sticky.”

Chu Huan is not in the state: “… may be expired?”

Afterwards, he heard a “click”, turned his head and smelled a fruity fragrance. Nanshan broke a fruit that he didn’t know what it was. He took a bite and handed the other half to Chu Huan’s mouth. What does it mean-what is it? The apple given by Snow White’s stepmother?

He hesitated and took a bite in Nanshan’s hand. Suddenly, an extreme sour wave washed away the taste buds that he had just contained in sugar and still in the gentle township. The acid made him speechless for a while.

Nanshan laughed lowly: “That’s sweet, this is sour.”

Then he handed his finger to Chu Huan’s mouth again: “Could you try this again?”

Chu Huan keenly heard a nasal noise, hesitated for a moment, and licked it lightly according to the words. This time, he tasted the salty and bitter taste.

It is tears.

Chu Huan: “You …”

Nanshan reached out his palm, covered his eyes, and pressed his head against his chest: “It’s bitter.”

Nanshan’s heartbeat was a little fast, and Chu Huan could hear his emotion.

In a daze without touching the ground, at that moment, Chu Huan actually seemed to hear Nanshan’s unfinished words.

This means … the world is sour and bitter, with all kinds of flavors. Are you and I taste the same kind?

Nanshan’s chest was slightly up and down, and a slight vibration came from the chest in his words: “I’m not good. Since you don’t want to talk to me, just listen to me and say something good?”

Chu Huan covered his eyes and said nothing in the darkness.

Nan Shan: “I was entangled with those skeletons underwater. Yuan Ping cut the rope and sank in the shadow where I couldn’t reach. I was buzzing in my head at the time, not only because he was the gatekeeper Brother-do you know what I thought? “

That paragraph was deliberately forgotten by Chu Huan, but could not be forgotten by life or death. He suddenly said it from another angle in Nanshan’s mouth. Chu Huan didn’t know how to answer for a while.

Then he heard Nanshan quietly say: “I thought, if you knew, how uncomfortable should I feel?”

Chu Huan suddenly didn’t want to listen anymore, struggling in his hands, but Nanshan was locked in bed with an invisible airflow.

“Later, you didn’t ask anything. When you glanced over, it seemed as if you understood everything. I saw your eyes at that time, and I felt out of breath,” Nanshan said. To follow you to the end … “

“Don’t say it!” Chu Huan yelled and interrupted him.

Nanshan turned a deaf ear: “But I kept my word. When you took out the short knife, I knew what you were going to do. Later, you said to beg me–“

Nanshan had a voice, and groaned, it turned out that Chu Huan couldn’t break away, turning around and biting Nanshan’s hand.

Nanshan did not hide, and let him bite unmovingly until Chu Huan tasted the smell of blood, only to realize that he was guilty of rabies, and suddenly loosened his teeth.

“It hurts,” Nanshan whispered. “When you begged me, I hurt a hundred times than this … well, a hundred times, a thousand times.”

Chu Huan calmed down slowly.

After being silent for a while, he asked: “How does it feel to be swallowed?”

Nanshan: “The surrounding is full of joy, I only care about the distress.”

Chu Huan: “Can you see me?”

“Yes.” Nanshan lowered his head and kissed his hair spin, “but not with eyes, my facial features seem to be connected together, and I can feel everything-I see you kneeling on the top of the mountain, see your blood full of hands, see The fire on the scepter burned out, and I saw the little green with the extinguished fire mass send you the last journey … “

Chu Huan suddenly shivered.

“I also saw the fire light up and out, saw the shadow surrounding you, for a moment, I even heard the voice in your heart, but when I was almost desperate, I saw the flame. I saw you surrounded by the flame, so anxious Terrible, thinking, if you need fuel for the torch, burn me … the result seems to be that the rules of ‘it’ are still there, and I want to make it happen, the flames in your body have been extended all the way and burned to me. “

Nanshan said this, let go of Chu Huan’s imprisonment, opened his arms, hugged him, and whispered: “I have never felt so warm in my life, I felt like I was with you. I heard there was There are countless voices, layer by layer, saying ‘burn me, burn me’, the rules are limited, I can’t look back, but I can feel and imagine how the fire spread all the way. “

Chu Huan heard a soft sound in the darkness, and then a burst of fire lit up, and Nanshan lit the bedside lamp.

Chu Huan’s pupils contracted suddenly, he couldn’t help but stretched out his hand to block it, and then crashed into Nanshan’s eyes.

Nanshan sighed: “I have been with you all the time, not an illusion.”

This sentence is like a whisper of unraveling. At that moment, Chu Huan seemed to fall from a very high place, and the disappearing gravity was suddenly applied to him. His feet fell heavily, like a dream in a quiet world Fang Xing.

“Do you know what else I saw later?” Nanshan’s eyes were flushed, but the corner of his mouth was smiling. “I saw the sunset sinking into the boundless water, and I saw a weak bud growing on the dead branch. The seagull shook his feathers and saw a probe crawling out of the ashes … the only snake with a thick thumb. “

Nanshan’s ten fingers were intertwined with him and stuck to his chest, his voice trembling slightly for a while: “I will never leave you again for the second time, do you believe me?”

Chu Huanliang did not answer for a long time, and then he did not answer what he asked, but asked the first words related to that journey since returning from the fall: “What about the scepter? Is it burnt out?”

Nanshan said softly: “Well, it’s burnt out, but there will be more in the future.”

Chu Huan nodded, and suddenly felt a tiredness from his heart. Like he hadn’t slept in a lifetime, he turned his head slightly, leaning in Nanshan’s arms, almost unable to close his eyes, he was already sinking In sleep, the nested neck made the ring on Nanshan’s hand squeeze a small trace on the side of his neck.

The three words “Teasing you to play” finally failed to accompany him all the time, but the hand with these three words gave him a new fulcrum.

Chu Huan slept for two days with this consciousness, and passed the mountain gate reversal unknowingly.

In the hazy, he seemed to hear the bear children outside shouting “Slut King”, Chu Huan ignored, just turned over.

At the same time, in a cave with a pile of unusable guns and bullets, the wax-like veterans slowly moved one after another, rubbing their eyes, looking around the cave and their companions, either confused or shocked.

As long as he is not dead, he is still alive.

Before Chu Huan fell into a deep sleep, there was actually another question in his mind-what is there in the walnut called “Holy Fire”?

But he didn’t ask because he already knew the answer.

There is a world in walnuts.

“Even if I was locked in a nutshell, I still thought I was the king of infinite space.”-Shakespeare.

——End of the text.