Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

I spent the evening with May and she was in a very happy mood. I thought she might have refused my offer of money and all she did was kiss my cheek several times before we ate some popcorn and watched television. She fell asleep on the couch, like usual, and I carried her to bed and tucked her in.

I went back to my room and locked the door this time and went over to where I had placed the prototype security device. It was a work of beauty. It was about eight inches tall, four inches wide, and three inches thick. The casing was a dull grey and it had six movement sensors mounted behind a curved black dome.

It also had a specially constructed internal mechanism that was similar and yet distinctly different than my web shooters. The basics were the same, however. When movement was detected within the sensor's view range, the mechanism would engage and a spray of modified web fluid would come out of one or more of the nozzles available and it would cover the target, catching it in place instantly.

I laughed when I checked the contents, because it was a bright neon yellow. A bit more investigation let me know it was actually food coloring, which was significantly cheaper than powdered paint was. The chemical composition was also different than my normal webbing and the changes made it flow differently, looked different when deployed, and it lasted a lot longer.

That was the first patent, the fluid. The second patent was the device's construction, which could include the programming if I wanted it to. The third patent that I would hold off on, was the dissolution formula. I could just add 'patent pending' when the things went into production.

I chuckled at that, because I was already planning to construct a manufacturing plant after starting up the business and getting some loans. I would have to rent space at first, because buying real estate in New York was insanely expensive for the worst properties. Once the money started rolling in, I would have to look into purchasing someplace permanent.

I plugged the thing in with a standard cell phone jack and used my laptop to go over the control program. I had to admit that drug-addled me was a fantastic coder. I easily followed along with the notes and tracked what the thing did. It was brilliant and had all of my ideas integrated. It had wireless capability, could be tracked with a cell phone from anywhere, and gave security alerts in real time.

“Way to go, me.” I whispered and pat myself on the back.

I reassembled the thing and tucked it back under my desk. I went to my bed and stopped when I saw the lumps under the blanket. Crap, I forgot about my costume. I thought and gathered it up and tucked it into the empty gym bag that the guns had been in. Unlike a cloth costume, the suit would not fit under normal clothing, especially the slim jacket with the reinforcements.

When I pushed down on it to close the bag, I felt a lot of resistance that shouldn't be there. I took the jacket back out and checked the arms. The forearm strips had the collapsible batons in them, one in each arm, which would provide some protection and gave me access to a striking weapon when necessary.

I checked the upper arms and caught my breath when I felt something like steel under the strip there. I looked at the edge of the thing and saw it was bonded shut, so I wasn't taking it out to see what it actually was. I turned the jacket around and checked the back. There were several overlapping metal pieces that weren't completely bonded into place, so they moved as the jacket moved.

I checked the shoulder pads and it had metal inside them as well. I looked at the pants next and the thighs and calves also had metal strips inside, so I was going to be as protected as possible while wearing the thing. I packed it away again and closed the bag, and stuffed it into the closet next to the first bag.

I decided to ignore the bundles of cash for now and would count it up later. I went to bed right then because I needed to get an actual night's sleep. I had work in the morning and I did not need a repeat of what happened on Saturday night, despite how it had somehow worked out for me... for the most part, anyway. SHIELD was probably out there and actively hunting me right now.

It was one of the reasons I was a bit reluctant to go out as Spider-Man so soon after making a public spectacle of myself. Normally, I wouldn't let that stop me, because the whole point was to let the criminals know I was out there and could catch them.

I sighed and checked my untraceable cell phone and wasn't surprised to see that Mary hadn't texted me back after I sent her a picture of my 'accident'. I was tempted to text her again, then shrugged and looked over at my security device. My mind went to the portable radios with SHIELD frequencies that I had cannibalized.

Just for fun, I took one of the earpieces and connected it to the cell phone to check it. It softly vibrated in my ear and I stared at the text that had been automatically sent to all SHIELD agents.

'Emergency meeting at 0800. Scheduled training sessions postponed until further notice. You can attend at your own convenience during non-standard hours at...'

I went through the location codes and didn't recognize anything, so I had to dig out the agent handbook and referenced the codes and the city map. I thought about the training schedule from the old laptop and ignored it, since it was suspended anyway.

I eventually decoded the locations and was surprised when one of them was relatively close to where the Bestman Salvage company was tearing apart the abandoned building. I smiled as I wrote down the coded number for it and then added a reminder to my untraceable cell phone. I would need to stop at a safe house and grab a normal uniform before I could crash the gathering without drawing suspicion.

I took out the earpiece and turned it off, tucked it and my cell phone away, and closed my eyes. I went to sleep with secret missions and hidden agendas flowing though my mind.

*

Adrian wasn't surprised when he pulled up to Ben's building and a bright eyed and chipper young man was there. “You're looking better.”

“Yes, sir.” Ben said and climbed in and put his backpack on the floor between his legs. “I should be able to wear the hard hat without pain, too.”

Adrian chuckled and pulled away from the curb. “You're not hopped up on pain pills again are you?”

Ben shivered. “Ugh, no sir. I'm never making that mistake again.”

“Doris said hello back, by the way.” Adrian said with a sideways glance at him and saw him wince.

“My tired brain may have let me do and say a few things I shouldn't have done, sir.” Ben said.

Adrian laughed, because he couldn't help it. He knew teasing the kid would be funny. “She was pretty happy that you were feeling better, so it's all okay by me.”

Ben let out a relieved sigh. “I'm glad. Thank you, sir.”

“You've apparently regressed from calling me by my first name, bypassed my last name, and went right back to sir.” Adrian said, teasingly.

Ben gave him a significant look, then he laughed. “Okay, I deserved that one.”

Adrian nodded and reached over to smack the back of his hand on the kid's shoulder. “Adrian's fine, Ben. You might even shock the guys if you call me that when you come back with the coffee and donuts.”

Ben grinned and nodded. “I'll even ask the barista for extra foam on your latte.”

Adrian laughed as they pulled into the parking lot of the salvage business. “I'd rather another crispy creme donut. Those things are damn good.”

“I'll make a note of it... Adrian.” Ben said and the pair shared a laugh before they climbed out of the truck and went inside to gear up and had Frank check them over for safety. No one wanted a violation logged by the inspectors this close to Christmas break.

*

I told the guys to go all out when we were getting close to the end of the work day and I would be back tonight to clear it up. Let me tell you, they took my words as gospel and piled concrete and debris like it was going out of style. Adrian damn near laughed his ass off when we left and there was head high stacks of debris waiting for me to return to clear it out.

“You can't say you didn't ask for it! Ha ha ha!” Adrian said and he locked up and we climbed into his truck. He drove me home and dropped me off at a Chinese place to buy supper.

I waited for almost twenty minutes for the order and then ran as fast as I could to grab a bus and rode it until I reached my street. I ran from there and into my building, only to see May as she stood in front of the elevator and she carried several fast food bags.

I chuckled as I walked over to her. “Fancy meeting you here.”

May turned and saw me, saw what I carried, and laughed. “Moo Sho Pork and beef egg rolls?”

“Of course. It's your favorite.” I said and she grinned at me. “Can you guess what you're taking for lunch tomorrow?”

May laughed as the elevator doors opened. “Lasagne!”

I laughed, too. We stepped into the elevator and rode it up to our floor. She opened the apartment door and we checked the orders, picked through what to eat right away and what to save, then divided it up and enjoyed a nice meal. I kissed her cheek goodbye and left the apartment to go back to work.

I normally wouldn't go in at night after a full work day; but, I needed the excuse to pop by the safe house for a uniform and to check out the after-hours training facility. Plus, it was convenient as hell and I wasn't going to waste the opportunity it represented. Free anonymous training for agents? Sign me up!

I worked my ass off to get the debris cleared quickly and then I went to one of the rent by the hour motels to shower and change. The clerk gave me an odd look as he handed me the key.

“The prostitute's running late.” I said and he nodded in understanding.

I went to the room and checked everything inside and found two hidden cameras and four microphones in the main room and one camera in the bathroom. I disabled that one and quickly showered and dressed in my normal clothes, packed my backpack, and left the room after twenty minutes. I handed in the key as I cursed under my breath about my date not showing up, even though I had the room.

The clerk looked sympathetic and didn't offer me a refund, even though I hadn't stayed for the full hour. I didn't expect him to, either. That was not how you stayed in business in a strained economy. I left there and rode the bus to near the closest safe house and I wasn't surprised that it was completely dark.

I approached carefully and my spider-sense didn't go off, so I went around the back and checked the window. I saw the sensor and it didn't matter, because I had taken Clint's advice about carrying a small toolkit with me. I took out a sharp carpet knife and scraped around the window edge and popped the casing off.

I used my wall sticking power to pull the window pane out and climbed into the house. Surprisingly, there were no cameras or motion sensors inside. I pulled the window back into place and put barely a touch of webbing on one of the corners to hold it in place.

With my point of egress secured, I searched the safe house and discovered that it seemed to have already been pilfered and the microwave was missing. I now knew why there were no cameras and motion sensors inside the safe house. I had already taken them all.

I groaned at my drug-addled stupidity to rob a SHIELD safe house, then shrugged. There wasn't really anything I could do about it, and it wasn't like I could return the things I had appropriated for my own use. I did wonder where I had gotten all the cell phones, though.

I went to one of the closets and opened it to see normal men's clothing inside. It was generic and would make you look like any normal man in a suit. I grabbed one and carefully changed out of my normal clothing to dress like a common spy agent that was trying to fit in. It even had the sunglasses and the earpiece, which made me laugh.

I put the earpiece on and tucked the sunglasses into the breast pocket before I closed it up and went back to the window I had entered. I paused there, because I was sure I was missing something. I closed my eyes and thought about where I was and what a safe house would usually have for the occupants.

Money! I thought with a smile. I quickly backtracked through the house and searched all of the obvious places that someone would stash money for an emergency use and found a large bundle wrapped in the refrigerator freezer. I stashed it into my backpack and went back to the window I had entered through.

A drop of cleaning solution dissolved the webbing and I hopped out through the hole and put the window pane in the right position, then used the casing to snap the window back into place. I wasn't sure if that was going to hold for long, though. I took out the small web shooter with the bonding solution in it and put some on the back of the casing and pushed it into place.

My spider-sense didn't go off, so it was safe to leave it like that. I left the safe house and walked calmly towards the meeting place where the after-hours training was supposed to take place. As I approached the small building, several other people seemed to be hanging around. Two came out as another entered. They were dressed differently and that didn't matter, because they all wore earpieces.

My spider-sense tingled a tiny little bit as I approached the building and I was sure it was because I was carrying a backpack. The guy near the entrance was giving me a pointed look without actually looking at me, so I acted like I was supposed to be there and walked right over to him, which seemed to surprise him. I had a plan, though.

“I'm sorry to bother you. Can you hold this for me? I think I left my cell phone somewhere and I need to check.”

The guy made his face go blank and accepted my backpack as he stared at me.

I made a show of searching my new suit for it and shook my head. “Dammit. Can you call it for me?”

The guy took out his own. “What's the number?”

I told him the number for the second untraceable cell phone and he dialed it. As I had planned, my backpack rang. He gave me a look and then opened it and looked through it. He pulled the cell phone out and handed it to me, then he handed me the backpack. My spider-sense tingle disappeared, too.

“Hey, thanks!” I said and put the cell phone in the suit's inside breast pocket, which just so happened to highlight the sunglasses in the front pocket.

“Anytime.” The guy said with a relaxed voice and smiled at me.

I put the backpack over my shoulder and entered the building. I was actually a little proud of myself for allowing the man to do his job of searching people, while also not letting anyone else know that was what he was doing. My self pat down had given him a full visual that I had nothing on me and I had given him my backpack with all of my stuff in it.

The phone call had also given him permission to open the backpack and search through it to get it, which also let him see the contents. There wasn't anything in there, except for my clothes, the construction safety gear, and the couple of cell phones. The money I had stashed in a side pocket, so he wasn't going to find it, even if he knew to look for it. Plus, it was just money and not something that compromised the building's current security.

I passed by a couple of guys talking about the intense training that they normally didn't get during the day classes, and hearing that made me happy about choosing this as a good avenue to pursue. I desperately needed fighting training and what better way was there than to abuse a spy agency's own system and get free training anonymously?

I followed the directions on the walls to go to the locker room and chose a locker. It had a key in it and I opened the door and inside was a neatly folded karate gi with a piece of rope for a belt. I chuckled at that, because they wouldn't give out actual belts until you learned a few things. I quickly stripped off the suit and folded it and exchanged it for the gi.

It was a little freeing to only have boxers on underneath the loose robe-like garment and I left the locker and followed the directions on the wall towards the learning and sparing area. I felt my spider-sense tingle as I entered through the small door and stopped walking as a gi-clad body flew past where I would have been.

“Nice reflexes.” A woman's voice complimented as the guy she had thrown landed with a grunt and didn't get up.

“You mean me, right?” I asked and turned to look at her and realized that my spider-sense hadn't been only warning me of the guy flying by. It hadn't lessened after the danger had passed, because the danger hadn't passed at all, not even a little bit. I saw one of the worst people I could have encountered in all of SHIELD and straightened my back and took a deep breath.

“Yeah, kid.” Natasha Romanoff said as her eyes roamed all over me and back to my face.

This was not going to be fun. I thought and then fought to not smile. Unless I make it that way.