Scientific Sorcery : Beware of Kittens!

-=[Stormy]=-

“Intercept the flying stick!” I loudly meowed an order to the river dog just seconds before the sky-flying cat-servant sent his pointy blood-stick flying our way.

Ta-Mya's doggery paw swung up just in time as the stick flew, intercepting the pointy end right before it took off MyOan's head. I ducked just in case, as the stick pierced the big dog paw, going halfway through it and hissing apart when a spray of river dog’s blood interfered with its composition.

“Take us forward! This flying blood-beast is loud and slow!” I shot another order at the river dog.

My claws dug into MyOan's shoulder as Ta-Mya swung both of her fake paws ahead of herself.

The river around us roared, pushing the floating-home forward with a sudden lurch that nearly sent me tumbling off MyOan.

The bothersome cat-servant on the golden seat laughed, a sound that echoed across the sky and made my whiskers twitch with unease as he began to giddily chase us.

The spear pulled itself from Ta-Mya's paw and unfolded itself with a hiss. It moved like a spider, skittering away from us and shaking off Ta-Mya's water. My tail puffed up to twice its size as I watched the blood-spider crawl across the wooden planks, seeking to return to its master's body.

“Block the hole with your essence! Don’t lose your fluids!” I ordered.

The water dog complied quickly, sealing the hole with sparkly-shine.

I leapt off from MyOan's shoulder and circled the sphere dancing around it sideways, inhaling the know-sense that poured off it with all of my might, narrowly avoiding being struck by one of the thing's legs.

"Stormy!" MyOan yelled.

A watery tentacle emerged from the water, swatting the blood-spider away moments before it struck me through the head.

I leapt back onto MyOan's shoulder, my fur bristling. These blood-cat-servants were becoming a real pain in the tail. We needed to change our strategy, fast!

With a determined meow, I swatted MyOan's cheek with my paw. He looked at me, confusion evident in his eyes.

"Mrrrow! Mya-ow-an! Lea-ve Ta-Mya!" I insisted, pointing my paw towards the forest.

"What? Stormy, we can't leave Teya to fight alone," MyOan protested.

I shook my head vigorously. Simple cat-servant, always so slow to understand, always requiring directions. I jumped off his shoulder and scampered towards the moving-home of Kah-me, my paws pattering against the wood beneath.

"Stormy…?" MyOan called after me, yelling a bunch of cat-servant jabber I didn’t have time to untangle.

I ignored him, focusing on the task at paw. I reached the moving-home and stood on my hind legs and jumped, batting at the door handle. It wouldn't budge. Frustration bubbled up inside me. Why did cat-servants have to make doors so hard to operate?

After a few more attempts, I managed to hook my claws around the handle and pull down with all of my weight. The door swung open, and I darted inside. I knew exactly what we needed.

I emerged moments later, dragging the don’t-look-at-me-cloth in my mouth. MyOan's eyes widened as understanding finally dawned on him.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, jabbering away happily.

Took him long enough. I dropped the cloak at his feet and gave an impatient meow, pawing at his armor and telling him to take off the topmost layer.

For another useless moment he stared at me and then he began undressing, throwing the heavy dragon-smelling shells off himself.

“That’s right,” I nodded. “That untasty stuff would melt the cloak, hurry the myaw up!”

While MyOan changed, I rushed to Ta-Mya.

I meowed a series of instructions, explaining our plan. She nodded in agreement, ready to face the heroes alone. She was an obedient dog, far easier to instruct compared to MyOan. I handled lots of her training myself.

Just as MyOan donned the don’t-look-at-me-cloth, the chariot man swooped down for another attack. Ta-Mya sent a dark stick of her own flying to unmake his face, buying us precious heartbeats.

"Let's go!” I ordered jumping onto MyOan’s backpack.

We leapt off the floating-home and into the rushing river. The cold water burred me in unpleasant ways, but it was better than staying and dying.

I held onto MyOan as we were quickly swept away by Ta-Mya’s current, thinking of the greatest sunbeam that would warm me later if I managed to pull this off.

Behind us, I could hear the sounds of battle as Ta-Mya continued to fight the sky-fly-critter exchanging flying sticks.

They weren’t our problem anymore, we had a bigger fish to catch.

MyOan climbed out of the river, water dripping from his don’t-look-at-me-cloth. I shook myself vigorously, trying to get as much of the cold wetness out of my fur as possible.

The nerve of that river-dog, being so wet and cold! Blech! I'd make her warm yet. Real warm.

I jumped off MyOan's shoulder and landed gracefully on the rocky shore. My whiskers twitched as I caught the scent of something... terribly wrong. The air here smelled of decay, a scent that made my nose burn.

But I knew we had to press on, right into the heart of wrong-ness.

"This way," I meowed, padding forward into the dead forest. MyOan followed, his footsteps clumsy and loud compared to my silent tread. Typical cat-servant, so noisy.

I paused, my ears swiveling as I caught a faint sound. To my left, a patch of ground looked slightly... off. I hissed a warning to MyOan.

"Stop!" I meowed sharply. "Trap there. Step where I step."

I carefully navigated around the hidden pit, my paws finding safe purchase on the treacherous ground. MyOan followed, his movements slow and uncertain. At least he was listening for once.

We continued on, the forest growing darker, more dangerous and more oppressive with each step. I led MyOan through a maze of hidden snares and pitfalls, my keen know-sense alerting me to future-death dangers his dull cat-servant senses couldn't detect.

"Watch out for the shiny leaves," I warned, indicating a cluster of deceptively beautiful plants. "They'll burn your paws right off."

MyOan nodded, giving the plants a wide berth. Good cat-servant.

As we pressed on, I felt a growing sense of unease. The void-bog was close now, its malevolent presence palpable in the air. But I knew we had to reach it. The silver webs were everywhere here, but I had trained my know-sense for many days and nights now and was an expert at pawing the little ones away in just the right way and avoiding the big ones.

No nest was perfectly defended against a sufficiently clever cat.

It was all worth it for the sunbeam. Think of the sunbeam.

"Almost there," I meowed, more to reassure myself than MyOan. "Just a little further."

We crested a small hill, and suddenly, there it was. The void-bog stretched out before us, a vast expanse of bubbling, black muck. The air here was thick with the stench of rot and wrongness.

I turned to MyOan, my eyes meeting his. "We're here," I meowed solemnly trying not to throw up from the amount of wrongness in the air. "Now, let's show that spider what happens when you mess with a cat!"

MyOan probably didn’t understand any of that, but he acted like he did.

Typical cat-servant behavior, pretending to understand when they clearly don't. Still, I had to give MyOan credit for trying. He was learning, slowly but surely.

I climbed up his boots and body back onto his shoulder, my claws digging into the don't-see-my-house cloths for balance. With a series of insistent meows and paw swats, I directed his attention to a specific tree nearby. It was old, hollow, and rotting - perfect for our needs.

"Mya-ow-an!" I yowled, pointing my paw at the tree. "Push it down into the bog!"

He tilted his head, that familiar, bothersome look of confusion crossing his face. I sighed inwardly. Sometimes I wondered how cat-servants managed to survive without us cats to guide them.

After a few more insistent meows and paw jabs in the tree's direction, a sniff of understanding finally dawned in his eyes. He moved towards the tree, pushing against it with all his might. The rotten wood creaked and groaned, and with a final heave, it toppled over into the muck.

I purred my approval. "Good cat-servant," I meowed. Positive reinforcement was important in training, after all.

Next came the tricky part. I needed him to understand that we had to use this fallen tree as a boat to cross the bog. I jumped down onto the log, padding back and forth along its length, then looked back at him expectantly.

MyOan stared at me, then at the log, then back at me. I could almost see the know-mites fluttering in his head. Come on you big lump, I thought. You can do it.

Finally, he seemed to grasp the idea. He carefully maneuvered the log into the bog, then climbed aboard. I allowed myself a small meow of triumph. We were making progress.

As we floated through the fetid waters of the void-bog, I kept my senses on high alert. The air here was thick with wrongness, and every instinct in my feline body screamed at me to turn back. But I knew we had to press on.

After what felt like an eternity of navigating through the putrid swamp, we arrived at a truly foul place. The pond of folding lay before us, absolute, twisted wrongness that made my entire chest quail. Two bog-spirals dominated the area - one void-black, sucking in life like a hungry maw, the other blood-red, ready to birth twisted, inverted servants.

I knew what we had to do as I caught the nearest know-mite hovering in the air between the spirals. The folding stone lay in the bog roots between those spirals, and this was our one chance to retrieve it. All the Jotuns were away, drawn to the battle with Ta-Mya. We wouldn't get another opportunity like this.

I meowed urgently at MyOan, trying to convey the importance of our next move. "Dive!" I yowled, pointing with my paw at the space between the spirals. "Dive and get the stone! Use that sharp stick on your side to cut it out from the roots!"

MyOan looked at me, then at the spirals, his face a mask of emotions I was too frazzled to untangle. I could tell he didn't understand, so I tried again, meowing more insistently and making diving motions with my paw.

Still, he hesitated, his mind rebelling the idea of going into the muck. Frustration welled up inside me. Why couldn't he see how crucial this was? I meowed again, louder this time, practically screaming in purrfect cat-speak.

"Stop your heart, don’t breathe, don’t move, be still and dive here! Now! Between the spirals! Get the folding stone!"

I repeated this several times, growing more frantic with each repetition and gesticulating at the water.

We were running out of time. If we didn't act soon, we'd lose our chance, and all of this would be for nothing.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of repeating feline explanations, I saw understanding dawn in MyOan's eyes. He nodded, took a deep breath, looked at the muck below us, ceased moving and breathing and slid off the log, sinking down.

I watch him vanish in the awfullest water with a sigh from atop of the smelly log, hoping that he’d know which rock to cut out from the roots.