Scientific Sorcery : Beware of Kittens!

Hypothesis:

Nature Spirits can’t see or hear male witches unless the witch spills his blood in the water to make a deal. Nature Spirits can however see and hear Champions, Sorceresses and kittens.

I extracted the chewed-up remnant of Glinka's megalith from my liquified circle using a rope and my witchy strength, placing it carefully on the ground. The river spirit hovered above the remnant of her column with a somewhat frustrated body-expression, her arms crossed. Her hair spun above her in a constant spiral, replicating what was happening inside the river.

Glinka’s giant fist had come apart after repositioning Bobliss into the center of her river. The immovable champion was submerged in a sphere of liquid covered in a thousand sharp rocks. It looked like she was grinding a sphere of flesh with the jagged rocks and dragonglass dust spinning in an endless carousel, the blood of the immovable fallen hero constantly flowing downstream to the distant North Sea.

I shuddered ever so slightly, wondering how long it would take her to grind the man into nothing and if he would be able to reconstitute amidst the glaciers and eventually come after us again.

“If you please,” I addressed the kitten as we emerged from the cave.

Stormy hopped over to the megalith, positioning herself in front of the stone fragment.

Glinka’s head snapped to the little black kitten, her frustrated body language relaxing ever so slightly.

“My name is Ioan Starfall,” I said. “I’m the witch of Svalbard. I’m speaking to you through my familiar, Stormy.”

“Mrhrm-shh-Myaowioan Shhrrbrr,” Stormy repeated. “Mry mrr shhh orr Mayawbrrr…”

Glinka sat down onto her megalith chunk, tilting her head to the kitten. She looked left and right.

“You can’t see me,” I said. “But we've been neighbours for around two months now and as I watched you do some incredible things with your river, I’ve come to appreciate your powers, goddess.”

“Merh mew mer,” my feline secretary chirped, garbling up and swallowing most of my words.

Glinka’s Avatar pointed a shimmering green-blue finger at one of the sharp rocks sticking from the river. The same rock manifested in her illusory fingers and she sliced it across her hand, producing a resemblance of blood spilling into the water. She made another gesture to the river, inviting me to dip my feet in, to cut myself on the jagged rock and to make a deal.

“No,” I shook my head. “We will not be making a ‘deal’ and I will not be spilling any blood into you today or ever. I have no interest in being magically bound or being manipulated, buying or selling anything. Our relationship will not simply be magically transactional."

I watched as Stormy relayed my words to Glinka, hoping that her tiny meows somehow conveyed my message fully. The river spirit's faceless head tilted at Stormy, seemingly confused by my refusal to simply make a deal as expected.

"I simply wish to talk with you," I continued, "to express my gratitude for your assistance against the Sorcerous sleigh, the minions of our mutual enemy Uncle George and the Jarl of Bernt.”

I pointed a finger at the flesh sphere being ground down in her water. Stormy waved her right paw, replicating my motion.

“Your power is truly awe-inspiring and I hope we can maintain a... working relationship,” I added. “One that will benefit us both, without any use of blood magic.”

Glinka's posture shifted, her arms uncrossing as she sat on the ground in front of Stormy. I was probably the first human in her long millennia of life who dared to talk to her directly via a kitten telephone who didn’t just cut himself on her rocks demanding a magical solution to their problems.

Glinka processed the kitten’s words and waved her hand again at the river, more gently this time, inviting me to step in. I walked to the water and stepped in, my boots sinking into the inch of water.

Glinka’s face turned to me. It looked like she was trying her best to determine where I was but was utterly failing at it. She settled for staring at the eddies formed by my boots.

I dipped my index finger in the river and felt… absolutely nothing at all. No magic, no connection, no sound of rushing water in my head. No voice of the river or whatever that Stormy was maybe hearing.

"I also want to apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by moving your megalith," I added. "It was necessary for our survival, but I understand it must have been disruptive for you."

I watched as Glinka nodded silently. Stormy pawed at the word [YES] in the Codex, confirming that the river spirit understood me.

"Here's the thing," I said. "I might have to move it again."

The liquid hair on Glinka's head spun through the air with greater intensity, edges turning into blades. The blade-ripples danced down her figure, adding more length to her fingernails to make them almost resemble claws.

"Mrryyyy?" Stormy asked, turning to me. "Mrawwww mrarrreee mruuu?"

"Why? How dare I?" I arched my eyebrow. "I don't think that you fully understand the situation, Glinka."

The river spirit crossed her arms again.

"Glinka," I began, "the world is changing. The glaciers are advancing, the White Blight spreads across the land reducing the number of people who would worship you, make a deal or drown in you. If you want to eat, you will have to move."

Glinka shook her head.

"Mrnooooo!" Stormy said. "Mrooo mraatttt?"

"No? So what?" I arched an eyebrow. "I get it, the glaciers won't be able to hurt you, you'll just carve a path right through them. That's the problem. Uncle George seeks to use you as a weapon against the glaciers. That's why George sent Bobby here - to destroy your megalith anchor and to unmake what you are, to murder you, to bind all of the souls in your possession to a reanimated corpse."

I gestured towards the cave where Cali's dead body lay submerged in the healing water. "Uncle George almost succeeded. Do you really think that these bastards will give up on you? Do you think that they will let you live, let your anchor simply exist? George and Bob know exactly where your megalith is!"

I walked out of the river and tapped her megalith with a foot.

"It will only take one more tap of the blood hammer," I said. "Think about it."

Glinka's Avatar bristled even more, blades rolling all around her figure. Then, the anger subsided and she wrapped her hands around her knees burying her face between her knees. It was a strangely human gesture of vulnerability and I wondered whether it came from the souls of the girls of Svalbard that drowned themselves in the river over the centuries.

"I'm not your enemy here," I said, waiting for Stormy to mew out my words to the river. "I'm offering you a chance to survive, to adapt. The world is changing, whether we like it or not. We can either change with it or be left behind... and perish."

Glinka's Avatar glanced at Stormy, looking almost catatonic in her despair of facing her suddenly looming mortality.

"Two months ago, you killed Ioan," I said. "You took all of his memories and shoved me into his head. I don't fault you for this, but you were the one who created me, Glinka. You are responsible for the fact that I'm standing in front of you talking to you through this kitten. I'm different from anyone you've encountered before and I do things differently for a reason. I'm an Understanding from Endalaus wearing the body of a Nordstaii boy and I want to understand you. I want to live and so do you. Everyone does.

"A mundane Nordstaii Champion would have just left you here," I said. "They wouldn't have bothered talking to you like this. People have no respect for your life, steal your rocks to build houses. They can't see spirits like me, all they do is make dumb personal wishes on you, yes?"

Glinka looked at Stormy and nodded.

"Witches are ordinarily terrified of water because you can just drown them, yes?"

Again Glinka offered me a nod and Stormy pawed the word 'yes'.

"Our relationship will be different from any of your previous relationships and expectations," I said. "I'll treat you as an entity of power equal to mine. I am the earth and you are the river that circles me."

Glinka waved her hands.

"Mrrriverrr wrr-shh-ssss mreee-arth!" Stormy said to me.

"Yea," I shrugged. "Ordinarily, rivers wash the earth away and grind down rocks. Here's the thing, I'm the kind of an earth-witch that you won't be able to simply wash away. I can build a boat. I don't play by the rules, you see, don't follow the set patterns. I am a boy who chose to be a Witch. I can pick up my domain and carry it wherever I like."

I watched as Glinka's avatar processed my words, her faceless head tilted towards Stormy. The river spirit's posture slowly changed, uncurling from her defensive position. She stood up, her hair swirling around her head in a mesmerizing dance of fluid dynamics.

"Mraw mruuuu ouuu mrwa-mmm-ttt?" Stormy mewed as Glinka gesticulated asking 'what do you want?' of me.

"Come with me if you want to live," I said simply, offering Glinka my hand.

Stormy jumped onto the megalith and offered Glinka a dark fuzzy paw with pink pads.

I watched as Glinka stared at Stormy's outstretched paw, her faceless head tilting in what I could only assume was deep contemplation. For a long moment, nothing happened.

Then, slowly, hesitantly, Glinka's watery hand reached out and touched Stormy's paw.

The kitten and the Avatar of a river pretended to shake paw and hand, even though they could not touch each other.

I smiled, wondering if it was the first time in the history of Thornwild when a river became friends with a man through the incredible power of a single adorable black kitten.