Scent Of Time

Chapter 38

“Who is it?” I couldn’t hold back my nosy mood.

Hua Rongzhou didn’t say anything and continued to walk away. I felt a scratch on my heart when I heard the secret halfway through.

“Is it from our mansion?”
“Yes.”

After he answered my casual questions, my interest suddenly ignited: “Not Cuizhu, then perhaps it’s Qian Zhi?”

“No.”
“Then it’s Yin Xing?”
“No.”
“Then who is it?” My heart of gossip burned.

While Hua Rongzhou completely ignored my rambling blind guesses, I muttered to myself for half a day and finally blurted out, “Maybe it’s me? Hahaha ……”

After a few dry laughs, he still didn’t respond, and I immediately felt so embarrassed; why didn’t this child pick up the words?

“En.”

“Huh?” I suspect I heard wrong, but he stopped talking, not denying or admitting it, and finally said my mouth was dry, so I could only give up.

Reaching out and patting his head, I said half-jokingly, “Although you look gorgeous, this sister doesn’t like having a younger boyfriend.”

He didn’t reply, so I didn’t take it to heart, and no one spoke again.

I couldn’t hear the sound of the river anymore, and under the moonlight, I slowly felt tired and fell asleep on his back. When I woke up, I found myself in bed. But I didn’t recognize this room. How could I have slept so deeply that I didn’t even know when I reached the bed?

I was relieved to see Qian Zhi walk in; having someone I recognize is good.

“This is ……,” I couldn’t help but speak.

“…… is Hua Mansion.” Qian Zhi lowered her head and answered.

So, this is Hua Qian’s previous room. It would be too revealing if I didn’t recognize it, so I raised my hand and pretended to have a headache to cover it up, and then I realized that I was superfluous because Qian Zhi didn’t care that I was out of place.

“is Hua Rongzhou bringing me back? How is my brother? Did he meet the doctor?” Not hearing a reply after a long time, I put down my hand and looked at Qian Zhi, hanging her head low.

“Qian Zhi?” I raised my eyes confusedly to look at Qian Zhi’s red eyes. My heart trembled, and my tone aggravated a few points, “Why are you crying?”

Qian Zhi sobbed, “Princess Consort, Young Master Hua — he — he –”

My eyes blackened, and my heart beat wildly. Like foreseeing something terrible, my hands shook uncontrollably. After clenching my fists and gritting my teeth, I pushed Qian Zhi away and rushed out of the courtyard. Outside was indeed the Hua Mansion, but — all the servants were clad in sackcloth.

I pulled a maid and asked, “Where is Hua Shen?”

That maid dared not look at me but reached out and pointed in a direction. I ran wildly, utterly unconcerned about Qian Zhi’s shouts.

When I arrived there, I saw a — mourning hall. My stiff legs nearly tripped over the threshold, and I vaguely heard Mrs. Hua’s cry from inside: “My son, ah ……”

Hua Shen really — died?
How could this be? Was it because of that sword?

I never thought there would be such a possibility because I had been hit by an arrow, which also penetrated my chest, and I subconsciously felt that he would be as unharmed as I was. But why did I survive and he didn’t?

Qian Zhi, who chased over, pulled my sleeve; I shook it off and continued to walk inside. Then — I saw a coffin.

I don’t know how I moved over step by step. The coffin hadn’t closed yet, and I saw Hua Shen’s face bit by bit with my steps. I caught him lying inside, dressed in brocade clothes, with his eyes closed tightly and his face as white as if he had fallen asleep.

My feet softened, and I braced my hands on the edge of the coffin, my throat aching. In my mind, the words that Mrs. Hua had said to me couldn’t stop echoing:

“Although your brother is a bit slow, he’s genuinely good to you.”
“He always thought of saving what he had for you first; even I, as a mother, didn’t have this treatment.”
“Back when I was pregnant with you, Shen’er was only five years old, and every day, he would come to touch my belly, nagging for you to come out soon.”

“He came to see me three or four times a day and said he would take good care of you when you were born.”

…..

The words that made me disdainful in the past were like a swarm of ants tearing at my heart. However, Mrs. Hua, who pounced over, broke my illusion.

“You, unlucky thing, killed your brother ……”

Torn by her, I didn’t move a muscle.

Then, Hua Xiang said, “Someone, help, madam.”

Mrs. Hua’s shouts were getting farther away before they finally disappeared, and the mourning hall looked cold and lifeless. The dignified madam had vanished, and the elegant and capable Hua Xiang looked like he had aged ten years, with a large portion of graying hair.

“It’s not your fault.” Hua Xiang patted me on the shoulder, “Your mother spoke with too much grief. Don’t take it to heart.” These words hurt even more than Mrs. Hua’s scolds.

I looked at the mourning hall woodenly.

Hua Xiang’s voice came again, with a grief that made one’s chest sore: “In the past, I always felt that I had given birth to a son in vain and that he had no half-excellent qualities except for causing trouble. However, now that he’s gone, I feel that it’s quite good to have someone who can cause trouble and let me clean up the mess.”

Suddenly, my eyes blurred; I opened my eyes wide and bit my lips to keep myself from making a sound.

Hua Xiang continued saying, “Shen’er has been a scoundrel in his life, this time — he’s finally done the right thing.”

I looked at Hua Xiang. Although he couldn’t hide grief in his eyes, he glanced at me affectionately, which I had never seen. He said: “All these years, I’ve been painstakingly climbing up the ladder to give Shen’er a good future. But now that he’s not here, I feel this position is boring.”

“Does Father mean to reconsider what I mentioned before?” I opened my mouth, my voice so numb that I surprised myself. Was this my voice? It didn’t sound emotional.

Hua Xiang gently hugged me, his thick palm patting my back, and said, “It has been hard on you, my good daughter. Father is wrong; I should not be greedy over power; I should have taken you all to leave long ago so we don’t fall into this retribution.”

I bit my lips hard. My lips are bleeding, and my head is against Hua Xiang’s chest. I can no longer stop the tears.

They were not my biological father and elder brother, but why was my heart so sad? It hurts so much more than the arrow wound that pierced through my chest last time.

“Father decided …… to listen to you and not be this prime minister.”

I left the mourning hall groggily, feeling that this was all fake. Like a walking corpse back to the courtyard, I raised my step over the threshold but tripped like a mud pile. Although Qian Zhi did not have time to reach me, I did not fall to the ground.

It was Hua Rongzhou. One of his arms crossed in front of my waist, holding my body. I stood with my hand on his arm and wanted to tell him I was fine, yet I said, “I don’t have a brother anymore.”

Behind me came Qian Zhi’s small sobs; I felt someone dug out a piece of flesh from my heart, and my fingers tightened on Hua Rongzhou’s arm. “Hua Qian …… doesn’t have a brother anymore.” I could not help but squat down. Maybe it has been repressed for too long, and Hua Shen’s s death was like an axe that broke open all my emotions; I covered my eyes with both hands, squatted in the doorway, and let out a loud cry.

At this moment, I don’t care anymore. I cried that I had been aggrieved but couldn’t mention it. I cried that Hua Shen died, but I can only force Hua Xiang to resign. I cry that I will always be alone and can do nothing about it. The only one who treats me well is Hua Shen, but because of my prejudice against him, I can’t see his goodness at all. I verbally rebuked Mu Yao for using Zhong Yelan’s love to act recklessly, but when was I not? I always reveal my worst side in front of the person who is best for me. After I cried until my brain hurt, a person embraced me in his arms and transferred heat to me; he said, “It’s okay, you still have me; I will never leave.”

Qian Zhi jumped to my back, holding me while saying hoarsely, “I will also always accompany Young Lady.”

Like rooted stone piers, the three of us stayed in the courtyard door for a long time.