RWBY:Rascal

"There are no irreplaceable men!" - Woodrow Wilson, 1912.

"Personnel decide everything!" - Stalin, 1935.

We returned home somewhere around dawn, a little drunk, tired and fatigued. I reached the bed on autopilot, threw off my shoes and outer clothes, and landed in the position "face into the pillow". I didn't feel the second body landing next to me, falling into sleep.

And unlike before, the new morning was very pleasant. It was good to wake up feeling the head of a pretty girl lying on your shoulder, with her leg thrown on you. Again I experienced a very strange mixture of feelings, on the one hand, the fact that we were in our clothes and there was definitely nothing between us was a good thing, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset at all.

" (-_-) Zzz..." - Neo yawned and stretched. That's when her gaze came across me. The hugged me. - "(O_o)..." - loading process... - "(O_O)..."

"Good morning," I nod gently.

"(O_O)..."

"What?"

"(O_0)... (0_0)... (o_o)... (-_-")..." - lying there, silent. Neopolitan is gradually pouring paint.

"Hmm... I'll go make breakfast..." - To somehow break the awkward silence, I voiced the first thought that came to my mind.

"(q‸q)...?" - Jörg, I got a pitying look.

"Eh..." - I hug and gently kiss the girl on the edge of her lips. - "But then don't say I didn't warn you! "

"(^____^)!!!" - Oh yeah, what am I supposed to do with this?! Okay, they already had a very weird relationship, now it was going to get even weirder and weirder.

"But breakfast hasn't been canceled!" - Leaving the girl to lie there for a while, I quickly freshened up under the shower... a cold shower, a night in the arms of a beautiful girl for a young and healthy male body... Ahem, anyway, getting out of bed and washing up under Neo's gaze was very embarrassing. Especially since that's the same way she looks at her favorite ice cream.

Today's meal was an omelet with tomatoes and fish fillet, and despite the strange combination that made my brain scratch, it tasted and looked pretty good. And now, having eaten from the heart, I wondered what, in fact, to do next? We were left alone for the next couple of days, but that didn't mean that we could take it easy.

In principle, I had a couple days of free time, a good supply of ashes and a "fueled" workbench, which is also a 3D printer. Except that it differed from those in my world like a Ferrari from a Zaporozhts. Civilian representatives of these devices in my world could only print all sorts of plastic and silicone, and that - slowly and sadly. "Industrial" were capable of a little more - they could use steel. Powdered and with low-temperature treatment. In other words, such a "miracle" produced "disposable" parts. There seemed to be some improvement and development projects, but I can't say here - it's not really my topic, so I didn't follow it much. But the local Workbenches resembled those from Far Far Away. Using Prah in them allowed for high-temperature melting, welding, hardening, tempering, alloying, cementing... in short, this two-table-sized workbench replaced a full-cycle metallurgical plant, a chemical laboratory, a forge... hell, it even made coffee! And yet the locals have no more physics than classical mechanics, basic thermodynamics and Ohm's Laws! But they build humanoid-shaped robots, and I even saw one in a season of OCDR. With a goddamn force field! And the locals can't even understand the principles of Superposition! I don't know how they got to the laser without concepts of diffraction and interference either. Or rather, I do, but the answer kills me. Ashes. It was literally the magic substance that solved all problems. Robots' joints, especially leg joints, should wear out quickly under such loads and speeds? No problem, add a couple grains of Earth Ashes to the metal and you can ignore the concept of metal fatigue. What's that? A problem with the autonomous power source? A battery of finely dispersed Electric Ashes the size of your fist holds energy comparable to what a small cogeneration plant can generate in a day. Flight? Forget about aerodynamics, why do you need it when a pinch of Gravitational Ashes can make an iron fly? And if you work a little harder, you can envelope it in an impenetrable force field! You got your arm ripped off? Yes, it's unpleasant, but we have wonderful prosthetics that can perfectly transmit even fine motor skills and have a feedback! True, you have to have your Aura open to connect a part alloyed with some clever medical ashes to your body, but you'll use it no worse than your last, meat hand! And so it goes with everything. Remnant was fifty years ahead of my homeworld in terms of technical development, not in all aspects, but in most. And the raw materials base and "classical" physics were at the level of the early nineteenth century.

And then there appeared such a wonderful fellow traveler with a good, dare I hope, baggage of knowledge. And, most pleasantly, with the ability to translate this knowledge into metal. So, what can Cinder bring me? Most likely an introduction to the unforgettable Adam Taurus and his menagerie. Taurus is trouble, as I recall, his Manifestation is a complete absorption of any energy directed in his direction, followed by a charge release to attack. Whether he has to release it all at once or can somehow dose the force of the blow, I can't say - I didn't watch the show that closely, but the fact that he can't even be blown up or shot in the back with something large-caliber, personally, made me very sad. I didn't like the idea of killing anyone at all... well... except Cinder, and I'm not sure I could kill her if I had the chance. But I don't think that's the case in this world, so I'd better prepare myself for the fact that I'm not going to be clean... and, strangely enough, I don't shudder in horror at that realization.

Maybe it's Torchwick's memory of never being a good uncle, maybe it's the fact that most people in my world are taught from the time they're in diapers that if they do bad things, they'll have to answer badly for it, and a lot of people are inhibited by that, no matter what they believe, but the thought of "what if it's true?" does cross their minds. Possible inevitability of punishment and a touch of civilization plus the threat of punishment "here and now" on the part of the state, in the aggregate - these are very good deterrents. Except that I had one little problem. I had already been "There" and had a conversation with a being of knowledge, albeit brief, and this moment had passed somehow sideways, in passing, but it was enough. The subconscious fear of inevitable punishment disappeared. Well, as practice showed, the patina of civilization is scraped off unusually quickly - a couple of bullets above my head, and here I am already passionately kissing and not averse to have fun with the girl, about the relationship with whom a day ago I thought that it would be very unethical to use her feelings for the past owner of the body. It took me a little while to reevaluate my morals. I knew about avoiding "state punishment" and "all are equal before the law, but some are more equal", and Roman could write a five-volume book of instructive examples. How not to go crazy with imaginary permissiveness. Especially with such a Manifestation. Except that the rule that for every tricky ass there is always a bolt with a special thread, still works everywhere and always. And that means you shouldn't dig in, especially with only Torchwick skills, but not the ability to use them.

All right, enough self-exploration, something completely wrong my thoughts have gone, I started with the workbench, ended up with almost classical "I'm a trembling creature or I have the right". Don't be like that, let's go back to our sheep, pardon me, bulls. The red ones, the rabid ones. And a bunch of terrorists just like them. Now, you can't just shoot Adam. In close combat... ahem, well, the original Torchwick might have had a chance... small and using dirty tricks, or better yet, support. He could slaughter me in about five seconds. And I'm flattering myself. What do we do? Nothing, he's a fucking terrorist with a leaky roof who'd happily slaughter anyone who isn't a faun. And anyone who's a faun but doesn't share his views. Okay, well, direct methods are ineffective, but what about indirect? The locals certainly came up with the concept of stun grenades, as well as smoke bombs, but it was all very unconvincing. And fauns have much sharper hearing and vision, including night vision. Sniffing, too, by the way. So let's start with the non-lethal toys. Unfortunately, there was no butyric acid on Remnant, as it was of no use in Prakho-centric technology, but... what schoolboy from our world doesn't know how to make a smoke trap or a stink bomb using improvised methods, at least in theory? There are dozens of recipes. I decided to use the one involving egg whites, a little sodium and water. Mix, but do not shake, and leave it for a couple or three days, preferably in a clear bottle in the sun for the greatest effect. After a little thinking, I added a local "flavor enhancer", I have no idea what it is made of, but it seems to be a natural product, and printing out the necessary glass flask for this "folk tool" on the local workbench was a matter of seconds. We'll fill it up and check back in a couple days to see what I've got.

It would also be nice to make flash-bang grenades, strangely enough, there was also nothing outstanding in them - a little magnesium and ammonium nitrate. The first was in the consumables of the "printer" itself, the second was freely sold as fertilizer. It's just that no asshole ever tried to mix them and set them on fire. Why, when there's Ashes? I wasn't sure of the ratio, but it was something to experiment with.

" Hmm, Neo, can I ask you a small favor?"

" (-_о)?" - My faithful maid sat next to me and watched my strange experiments, not forgetting to devour the ice cream, of course.

"I need you to go to a fertilizer store and get some phosphorus-based fertilizer," I continued to 'write up an order' after a bit of thinking and convincing myself that there are different cases in life. - "I also need a couple dozen mice and four sets of gas masks, as well as thick rubberized clothing that covers all parts of the body, medical alcohol and some acid, at least the same as the one used to solder electronics. "

"(O_o)?"

" No, I'm not crazy, I just had one really, really, really, really bad idea that I'm going to have to pursue after all."

The girl nodded and disappeared. I wondered again if I was overreacting. If this thing gets into Cinder's hands, it'll be a mess, and if the public finds out who gave it to her, I'd better shoot myself.

What's my plan? To prepare arguments in case things got VERY bad. Once there was in my life a relatively short period of courting a girl from the chemistry department, well, and sometimes sitting in the company of mutual friends and acquaintances, future engineers communicated with future luminaries of the chemical industry. And, of course, at the men's meeting, in addition to girls and politics, discusses another invariable aspect of male interest. Guns. And when chemists and guns are in the same sentence...correction, tipsy chemists. That's how I learned that one of the deadliest kinds of chemical warfare agents was once invented quite by accident while trying to develop a new kind of pesticide. And it can be made in general elementary from any phosphorus fertilizer, alcohol and acid, preferably nitric acid, but not essentially. In general, chemists are scary people, no kidding.

Neo returned an hour and a half later with everything she needed. By that time I had already finished "printing" a kind of greenhouse. More precisely, a sealed plastic box with a fully independent ventilation system. Then began more serious work, I decided to start, however, with something simpler and began to make small "probes" of a mixture of magnesium and ammonium - I managed to get it out of fertilizers without any problems, the function of "cleaning" was quite basic for the workbench. Of course, it couldn't get anything out of anything, but it was enough for my needs.

And now, five hours later.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" - I was working, of course, in the "welder's goggles" made here, and the "doses" were almost homeopathic, but it was still quite close to my eyes, and the idea of adding some high-quality Fire Ashes to the mixture was... brilliant... damn it. After blotting my eyes and wiping away the tears, and thanking the Dragons and Neo's love of ice cream that the girl was in the kitchen at that moment serving herself another batch and didn't admire the flash, I looked at what was left of the test stand. A piece of melted iron, which had recently been a good steel plate, hinted that if you don't use this thing as a light grenade, you can always use it as a thermobaric munition. That's what you are, a molta bomb. Of course, Neo immediately came running to the noise.

"(O_o)?????" - a look at the dazed me, at the burned steel, at me again, then at the workbench thermometer hanging at 3345 degrees, "(O_O)'."

" So...," I shift my gaze from the girl to the 'thermometer,' "One, I'm fine. Two, you didn't see anything. The thermometer just glitched.""

" (=_=)..." - Neo nodded, but she had a prosecutor's look on her face, I think if it wasn't for my pathetic appearance, which I couldn't have been otherwise after seeing such a flash, I would have been given a thorough interrogation. Silent and severe.

At this point we conferred, and I decided to take a lunch break, I did not want to do the second part of the planned "inventions", besides, first I had to replace the damaged module of the workbench, even if it was just a coating, but still. Anyway, enough for today, I have something to surprise the enemy even with normal eyesight, and even a faun could be crippled by such a flash, or incapacitated for a month, even taking into account the miraculous properties of Aura.

We didn't bother with lunch and just ordered pizza... and ice cream, yes. I'm getting more and more convinced that if it weren't for Torchwick, Neo would be eating only him. At least she's getting something more meaty into her system. It's funny, too. The police can't find a vicious criminal mastermind, but a delivery guy can. But okay, I'm being picky here - the order was placed for my faithful servant, and she is pure and innocent before the law, like a lamb, even fines for garbage and improper parking does not have. It's good to be a ninja illusionist.

After lunch, I made the hardest decision of all - to have another workout with the sweet babe who so casually drove a big man into the concrete last time, nope. I don't think anything will change this time, but no matter how bruised my ego is, I need to learn to use Roman's skills, and with my life like this, I'll have no shortage of people wanting to put a couple extra holes in my body, and the method recommended by the esteemed Caiaphas Cain is unfortunately not always available, so I'll have to follow his doctrine completely - when I can't get away, I have to fight. The only problem was that the girl was not a stupid creature, and she would wonder why Roman had grown claws instead of hands, where he couldn't hold a weapon properly. Last time it could still be written off as "shock" from the appearance of the Manifestation, although the owl, stretched on the globe of such a justification, was already suspiciously squeaking and blowing his eyes. This time, let's say, I could excuse myself with post-effects from the blind spot, I could even claim a slight concussion. But what would I come up with as an excuse for the constant screwing up? Or is there no such thing? No, it is possible to hope for the best, but to prepare for the worst. Roman had spent more than a dozen years honing his skills with a cane and a club, first because he couldn't afford anything more deadly than a stick, then he just got used to it. He was also quite good with a sword, as one of the most common and universal types of cold weapons. It was the easiest to find a normal tutor for it, and some techniques could be transferred to his favorite cane. Ahem, in general, change my weapon - and not only will I lose the support in the form of decades of training, practice, and just muzzling, but also get it all playing against me - the body still has reflexes. But just modernize, and some "awkwardness" at first will be quite understandable. Well, that sounds like a plan. Besides... yes... I have at least twice as much Aura as Torchwick had, and he was already a big guy, but along with Aura, the passive amplification given to it has also increased. Not symmetrically, but still. In general, even the trivial filling of the cane with lead will bring me a lot of profit.

Sighing, I quickly entered the necessary parameters on the workbench, I'm not going to modernize the old one yet, but to make a one-piece bent steel stick for training was a matter of minutes, I only had time to smoke one cigar. I had never smoked a cigar before, but here my hands were reaching for it. The flavor of tobacco was quite pleasant, and there was no damage to the organism - Aura fights perfectly well with weak poisons. It wasn't enough for anything serious, but it leveled the harm from tobacco completely, from alcohol - almost completely, to get at least moderately intoxicated, before Roman needed to blow a bottle of whiskey in one face, now I... well, I think, somewhere a bucket... well, maybe not a bucket, but something I doubt that I can physically fit so much into me.

When I got the still hot weapon, I weighed it in my hand. It felt like a kilogram or a little more. A little heavier than my old cane. Except that the 3D printer's terminal showed that 14.7 kilograms of steel had been used for this Oglobla. Well, I still can't fully realize what kind of monsters the presence of Aura turns into, although it would seem that the example of a girl who weighs forty-five kilograms, easily waving a battle scythe twice her size and weighing at least a couple of pounds, was recently before my eyes. Yes, by the way, the locals also have special relations with inertia... After spinning the baton a little and making sure that my skills and reflexes are still with me and allow me to spin this thing like any mill, I went to ask for another beating. I could try to do it myself, but the problem was that I didn't need to perfect the moves, my body was already doing them with ease, I needed to learn how to use them properly, and I needed a live opponent.

"Neo, do you want to get some exercise?" - I peered into the kitchen nook, where the girl was currently fiercely shoving a crumpled pizza box into a trash can. Shoving the unshovable because it's lazy to take out the trash, straight up wept with nostalgia!

"(n_n)!" - the girl was all for it and quickly rushed to get her battle umbrella.

"(n_n)," I walked towards the empty hangar, tinkling my new cane on the floor.

" (-_-)'," my 'upgrade' had clearly made the girl think about eternal things.

"What? Given my Manifestation, it makes sense to consider separating small arms and edged weapons. "

"(>_>)..."

"Yeah, it'll take away a few feints, but it'll give me a lot of new perspectives. All right, enough talk, Neo. It's time for action!"

" (-_-)..." - the girl pouted, yeah, who else would accuse her of talking too much but Roman? That's right! But I didn't fall for her pouty look, and on reflexes I put my cane behind my back.

*The collision with the combat umbrella was successful, and the image of the sulking lady was shattered.

"What a mean thing to do! My school!" - the baton met the umbrella again and again. Strangely, this time there is no longer that tantrum, moreover, I can feel how I'm beginning to like it! That pleasant lightness, the excitement and the desire to say something so, so special. Yesterday's elaborate suicide attempt, disguised as a robbery of a store with Ashes, gave me a good kick in the brain, adding Roman's traits and filling my life with new bright colors.

"(^_^)," Neo smiled happily as she continued to dance around me.

" What if I did?" - A sharp step forward, combined with a bottom-up punch, gone! A little relax my hand, and the baton itself slides down, now I hold it by the tip, and the hook already reflects the girl's return lunge - even if my maneuver was not successful, but yesterday after a similar attack I already wiped the dust. Now - a new call. Turn around, connect my other hand and hit with all my might like a golf club.

"(*‸*)!" - I didn't know how to swear silently, but the girl managed to do it, her whole look said so. It's one thing to take a light polymer cane on an open umbrella-shield, even if it's reinforced with Aura, but to get hit with a cast steel ogle... reinforced with a more powerful Aura - it's unpleasant. The poor thing is even thrown back a little bit, and... my body worked almost on its own. The cane angled into the ground, the Aura pulse... now the charge is going to go off, and someone's face will meet the accelerated stick, and then I'll pick up the ricocheting weapon and finish it off... and then I realize that the weapon doesn't have the usual Ashes charge. It's just clattering on the floor.

"Fuck." - I didn't get a chance to say anything, because my face met a dainty foot in a boot.

It's official: a boot to the head is unpleasant. And also on the neck, chest, then followed the footstep, and ... the world stopped for a moment, my body was packed in a spatial pocket, and then again unpacked already behind the back of a different-eyed asshole. Grabbing my leg, yanking... the woman's body with a truly snake-like grace somehow coiled around my arm, my torso, and then I was flying upwards in an incomprehensible way, good thing the ceilings here are high... Once again packing and unpacking, and... my fist shattered the illusion, while the back of my head met the hook of Neo's umbrella. An attempt to kick only caused me to lose my balance, as my leg was intercepted at that moment, and my supporting leg was hooked by his hook. And then they nearly drove my sharp heel into my most precious possession, and even at the moment when I was face down on the floor. I got out of it only on my body instincts and a very strong reluctance to get hurt. A new "teleport", and... an umbrella sting hit me in the stomach, and a hook hit me in the face - I had calculated, you little bitch! While I was thinking, I was already hit under the knee, once more in the face and toppled to the floor. Then they sat on top of me with a regal look.

"You know... might as well give me a chance to pick my cane back up," I rolled my eyes philosophically and pulled a Scroll out of my pocket. It showed that my Aura had barely fallen into the yellow zone. After a beating like that, that's a perfect indicator.

"(-_-v)???"

"No, I remember that if the opponent made such a mistake, I'm my own evil Grimm, but I could have shown some leniency to my favorite boss!" - N-yes, I was again beaten by a fragile girl, but this time I wanted to laugh for some reason, instead of frantically thinking about where to run and where to hide better. Hell, I was even starting to like it! The power, the sensation, and the near invulnerability! Who could say no to that? And I realize with my mind that it's all very bad, but I can't do anything about it, I hope that this intoxication will pass, or at least it will be better controlled.

" (>_>)..." - Neopolitan pretended to think seriously, but it didn't last long, "(~_~)!..." - Neopolitan grinned mischievously and grimaced, but only shook her head.

"Alright, alright, that'll teach me a lesson... but... hmm... No. Never mind..."

" (v_v)," "Suspicious!" - her whole posture screamed, the girl even leaned lower, squinting at my satisfied face. I couldn't take advantage of the moment, besides, when a flushed and a little disheveled damned beautiful lady sits on you... Anyway, I had a "snatch", flipped over the side, and now I'm hovering over her.

"Got you?" - and why am I smiling my whole face off?

"(^_^)," Neo pointed downward. Carefully, I glance down and see an umbrella with an extended stinger, which is now almost against my pants.

"Argument," I forcedly admit. - "So it's a tie, then? "

" (~_^)"..." - A negative shake of my head.

" And if I coax you a little?" - I lean closer and whisper the question in his ear, Neo smiles and gently runs his left hand over my cheek.

A nod.

It was impossible to resist, and we continued the other "training" sessions we'd enjoyed yesterday. However, as yesterday, we did not go any further - now was clearly not the time and place. Besides, such successes in waving the iron led me to another thought, which looked quite relevant in the context of upcoming events. And, perhaps, today's evening was ideal for its realization, it remained only to conduct a small investigation ...

Evening of the same day. Hotel.

"Enough already! How many times?! - Yang finally gave up looking at her sister.

" M-m-m-m-m-m..." - A black-haired top with reddish strands near the end wistfully stretched out from the depths of the pouf on the couch.

" No M-m-m! None of this has happened!

How long can you suffer?"

" No, no, no, no!" - shrieked desperately from the furniture, legs kicking up in denial. - "You don't understand, Yang!" - Ruby raised her head and stared at her older sister with a look of world tragedy on her face. - "I suspected Principal Ozpin of being on the side of Evil because he brought me cookies, and I also blabbed about it... And I blabbed about that one's infatuation with innocent maidens!" - tears welled up in the corners of her silver eyes for the umpteenth time that day, but not tears of sadness, more tears of panicked shame. - "What will Daddy say?! Principal Ozpin almost choked on his coffee! What if he choked on it?! I almost killed Principal Ozpin!"

"Calm down, calm down," the blonde raised her palms in a protective gesture and tried to put an appropriate smile on her face. - "Nothing happened, and you even got accepted to Beacon! You made a good impression! Don't be dramatic!"

"What if they only took me because I almost killed Principal Ozpin!" - Reaching a new level of panic, or rather, coming full circle, Rose squeaked. - He's a war hero, a great Hunter, and I almost made him choke to death! Why does this always happen to me?!

"You need to learn to take it easier..." - Yang muttered and, raising her voice, continued: - "You don't have to go into a shell after every failure in dealing with people! That way you'll never learn how to communicate with anyone!"

" I also ate all the cookies he brought," without listening to her sister, the girl continued to drive herself into the depths of despair. - "He just coughed and I already ate it all... What... What... What did they think of me!!!! Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" - the brunette's face slumped back into the ottoman.

" Ruby-ee-ee-ee-ee..." - with the same multifaceted anguish that older relatives have for the antics of younger ones, Yang moaned. Suddenly there was a rumble from the bedroom, and an unfamiliar voice began to loudly indignant:

"Well, who ties flowers by the handles at the window! And a special hunting line with a transparency of 0.23! Sadists! The flower will squeeze all the currents! Couldn't they find a normal rope?! They're not like that! And then there's the Hunting Dynasty! Disgraceful! А?.." - The unknown screamer suddenly fell silent, as if listening to something. - "Ah yes..." - After clearing his throat, he continued more calmly. - "Hood, don't be scared, I'm with cookies!"

"Wee-ee-ee-ee-ee!!!" - At the last words, the girl who had just been completely disheveled soared almost to the ceiling. - "It's HE!"

Yang didn't bother to interject or clarify, but instead the click of the ash charges in her wristbands going into action resounded through the living room.

"Oh, let's not be vulgar," came a voice from behind the blonde, causing her to jump to the ceiling in surprise. Yang realized that she wasn't wearing her handcuffs. "You don't want to pay for destroying the room and ruining the evening for all those charming people who also rent rooms in this place, do you?" she said. - as if nothing had happened, twirling his combat gloves on his cane, the tall guy in the white jacket said, looking at the sisters with a charming smile.

" You..." - Ruby jabbed her finger in the direction of the intruder. - "You're that burglar! What are you doing here?!"

" Oh! Of course I'm going to feed you sweets until you're completely amazed!" - and, having finished playing with his gloves, raised his other hand, which was clutching a bag full of something. - "I need data to project the costs of our future relationship! By the way, Hood, would you introduce me to your sister?"

" I don't know you myself!" - The girl in the red cloak squeaked indignantly, forgetting about her own weapon because of the surrealism of what was happening.

"What kind of 'future relationships' are you talking about, old man?" - Yang was used to hitting first and asking questions later, but the fact that the uninvited guest, first of all, had somehow managed to remove the already cocked Ember Silica from her hands in a split second, and secondly....

What was the second thing, the girl imagined vaguely, but her gut, which she used to trust, behaved in much the same way as it had when she'd met that alcoholic Crowe - it literally screamed that someone very dangerous was standing in front of her, even if he looked like an idiot. And that someone was standing next to her sister. All of this combined to do what even the Notorious Crow didn't always do on the first try - Yang Xiao Long stopped.

"You're hurting my heart, Dragoness!" - Pathetically splashed his hands at the guest. - "Sure, my life has been full of hardships and all sorts of vices, but I'm still a long way from Old Man Ozpin even in the field of trivial immorality, not to mention age!" - The man, who had just been openly crooning, suddenly appeared above Yang's ear and before she could recoil (and she did so with all the agility and efficiency she could muster!), conspiratorially whispered across the room: - "And by the way, I'm a little older than you!"

"And-ee-ee!!!" - belatedly came the sound with which the girl recoiled.

"'Tis all hat and cane, I tell you," leaning on that very cane, the red-haired lunatic continued as if nothing had happened. - "When I was a kid, I had to find ways to look respectable to get a job, and then it became part of the style. But you're right-they do age me," the man looked critically at his jacket. - "Do you think maybe I should change the colors?"

"Don't talk to me like that! What's with the 'relationship'?" - The blonde couldn't shake the feeling that they were being played with in Crowe's best style, but despite her love for her uncle, to relax and take her eyes off the man who'd stolen her Amber... Wait a minute. Where are the combat gauntlets? He was just twirling them on his cane!

"Don't be jealous, Dragon, I only view your little sister as a source of Grace and Positivity. At least for the next couple years... You know, those villains..." - The guest shrugged uncertainly. - "Our hearts just melt at the sight of cute, positive girls in sinister scarlet dresses, who are able to organize a massacre... And with such a charm as a huge combat scythe with a built-in machine gun!" - the man clutched his eyes dreamily.

"А-а-а-а-а," – сравнившаяся цветом лица со своим плащом Руби спрятала означенное лицо в ладошках, –" х-хватит! And-and-and-and-and-and-and... And why "dragon"? "

"Flaming, proud, fierce, and sharp as a Grimm dragon," - as if nothing had happened, the guest began listing Yang's "virtues." The blonde had heard most of it from her father. - "But she hasn't matured into a full-grown dragon yet, so she's a dragoness. It's a blessing to have someone..."

"Grimm-Dragon?" - Ruby's breathless. -"Is there such a thing?"

"There's more than one, Hood."

"Why do you call me 'Hood'?" It's embarrassing. My name is Ruby. Ruby Rose!"

"That's exactly why I call you that, Hood. Roman Torchwick! A man who sincerely wishes everyone well and prosperity! At your service," the red-haired young man took off his hat and gave a slight bow.

"And what's that got to do with robbing a store with Ashes? "

" How, don't you know? A dentist wants your teeth to hurt, a cop wants something bad to happen to you, because helping you is their job for which they get paid, and not bad... damn dentists. Ahem, what was I saying? Oh yeah, everyone wants to hurt you, and only the thief sincerely wishes your house wealth and prosperity! "

" Um..." - Ruby moved slightly, helplessly turning towards her sister. To meet the exact same gaze. - "So... you admit that you're a criminal?" - She asked, unable to think of anything cleverer to say.

"Let me think..." - Torchwick did indeed think, or very naturally pretended to. The sisters didn't know what to think or what to base their feelings on. - "Yes! Definitely, yes!" - the man finally reported with obvious pride. - "Let's be friends!" - Without the slightest pause, another crazy proposal followed.

" But... I can't be friends with a criminal!" - squeaked out a panicked Ruby, whose mind was in a violent clash between her long-held dream of finding someone who could be called a friend (other than her sister) and the rest of her worldview, which had been raised on the idea that people should be helped and villains should be fought. The effect would probably not have been as strong, but as it happened, it was the first time in her life when she was offered friendship at all, and she was not morally prepared for such a turn.

"I don't know anything!" - Roman dismissed her objections dismissively. - "A girl who has put together such a gorgeous battle braid can't just take it and not be my friend! "

" But!..." - tried to object Ruby.

"Yeah, well, I'm a bandit, a villain, and a redhead," the guest immediately nodded self-critically. - "So what? Yes, as a Huntress you'll probably have to catch me, but it'll just make it more interesting. And anyway, I brought cake and cookies! Are you saying you're such a bad girl that you'd kick a man who came to congratulate you on your first baptism of fire and admission to Beacon out the door just because of his profession? Don't you think fauns are people, too?"

"Me?! No, no, no, no! I never! Yang, tell him!" - Rose hung on her sister's arm, staring at her with the most pleading look she had ever seen, and a little more.

"Yes!" Torchwick announced triumphantly, not letting the blonde get a word in edgewise. - "I knew you were lovely! So, let's start celebrating your baptism of fire!" - The large bag touched the surface of the table in front of the sofa. - "By the way, did I mention? You're the first person to foil my robbery! I knew right away it was fate!"

"А?"

"Give Amber back to Silica!" - Yang couldn't stand it, while trying to throw off her younger sister's dead grip on her forearm.

"Here you go," the battle gauntlets were in the guest's hands again as if by magic. Where and when he had gotten them from, the girl didn't have time to notice. - "I hope you don't want to use them on me the way you did in poor Junior's bar. He's still suffering," Yang took the gloves back, sat down on the chair with its back turned toward Torchwick, and leaned against the back.

"I'll... uh... go put the water on!" - Ruby ran out of the room.

"So, you're on Junior's packages?" - The blonde squinted, trying to find some rational explanation for the madness.

"Ahem... ha ha," the redhead laughed. - "No. Junior's a good guy, sure, but I'm a bit higher up in the ranks of Vale's underworld. However," the man held up a finger as if to separate what he said, "he told me you were looking for someone. A certain woman..."

"You know something?" - Yang stepped forward.

" Perhaps, but there remains the question of price. What do I get for this information?"

"You're going to walk out of here on your own?" - A clenched fist made my backside crunch.

" Dragoness," Torchwick sighed with contrived sadness as he stopped smiling, "I like your assertiveness, honestly, you're a charmer, but sometimes you still need to watch the coasts. You were already wrong in the bar, not much, but wrong. And threatening a man who walked calmly into your room, disarmed you, and at least has some information about you is just stupid. "

" What do you want?" - Gritting her teeth, Yang asked. - "Money?"

" No, money doesn't interest me," Torchwick smiled again.

" Then..." - The girl squeaked in disdain.

"No, no," the guest waved his hands, 'I'm not interested in any 'nights of love' with you either... No, I lie, I am, but I'd rather seduce and corrupt you by more traditional means, and anyway, we don't know each other well enough for such proposals."

" So what do you want then?" - The blonde squinted.

" The same thing I want from your sister: friendship, a little faith, positivity... well, and I'll drop in for a cup of tea from time to time."

"You want me to be your agent in Beacon?"

"Oh, how vulgar is that?" - Roman wrinkled his nose in a mannered way. - "I've already made it clear that I know more about Ozpin and his background than all of you put together, and why would a man who can safely pass through Beacon for a cup of tea with female students need any additional agents? Come on, Dragon, you're a clever girl, think about it."

"Then why?" - I didn't want to believe what he said, but there was logic in it, and it made me angry.

"Why does no one ever believe me the first time?" - The man turned to the void to his left. - "Oh yes," the guest puzzled, as if getting an answer. -"But, well, believe it or not, it's just as I said. I just like you. The way you cheerfully trashed Junior's bar, the way Hood was shooting at me with her scythe... You see, being king of thieves is a lonely thing. I don't even have anyone to talk to, and interesting sisters like you don't come around, so you can consider it love at first sight."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, I won't let you in on the rest of my devious plans...yet," the redhead snorted, clearly deserving of a couple good punches to that most insolent of redheads. - "Oh, and you're also going to buy me a drink sometime. So what's up?"

" Tell me!" - Yang decided to do it. After all, she could rip his head off later.

"So, the woman you're interested in is Raven Branwen, the blood sister of an old dusty raven, hehe," he clearly remembered something of his own related to Uncle Crow. - "The leader of a nomadic tribe of bandits, used to be a member of the Stark crew, consisting of her brother, one Taiyang Xiao Long and Summer Rose..." - Torchwick fell silent, and the look in his green eyes became slyly inquisitive.

"Next," Yang hurried him on, not wanting to bring up Ruby's origins at all.

"More is more," the guest shrugged. - "I don't know exactly what happened there in detail, but she had a falling out with Ozpin. It's not surprising, though, because anyone who thinks about Ozpin's history sooner or later begins to look at him with suspicion. Anyway, she ended up leaving the team. And everything would have been fine, but..."

"But?" - the girl got closer.

"At some point in her civilian life, she got hooked on power. A quest for power, personal power. Contempt for the weak," Roman twitched his cheek, either expressing his disapproval or subtly mocking. - "She ended up abandoning her family and going back to her native bandits, living the 'strong' life, gobbling up the 'weak'. And I'd really advise against you looking for her."

" I'll handle it myself," Yang bellowed.

"Suit yourself," Torchwick shrugged. - "But then get stronger. From what I've seen on the bar's security tapes, she won't even talk to you right now. And I'm not kidding-- she's at a level where she could take out both your dad and your uncle at the same time. She may be out of breath, but she can do it. And you are used to seeing them as something soft and fluffy and harmless, but you should realize that these two are really still sitting in the big leagues. Now do you feel the magnitude of the stakes?"

" Where do I find it?" - The blonde frowned.

" I don't know exactly, she is the official leader of the Branwen clan and hangs out with them, enjoying the 'free' life outside of the cities. If anyone knows how to find her on their own, it's Ozpin or Crow, but I can't ask them, not by reputation."

" I see..." - Yang touched the back of her chair with her chin, beginning to drill the space with a heavy stare.

"And a little free bonus," the guest smiled sympathetically, seeing the girl's reaction. -" Her Manifestation is the creation of a spatial rift. I don't know what its limitations are, but this lady can really be elusive if she wants to be."

"Hmph," Yang hummed languidly, showing that the information had been heard.

"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, here I am!" - Ruby came into the room with a tray full of cups, trying to be positive that she hadn't been eavesdropping on the door for the last five minutes.

"Well done, Hood! You're on the right track," obviously Roman knew exactly where Rose was 'warming the water' too. - "By the way, you didn't call the police or little Glinda while you were walking, did you? "

"Ma-baby?" - Ms. Goodwitch, who was in holy awe, could be called anything but "baby." - "And no, no. I didn't do anything! "

"Isn't that sweet?" - the man smiled in adoration. - "Only a cutie like that could drown old Oz when he came to recruit her as his minion, hee hee hee."

" Ahhhh!... How do you know?" - The girl tried to hide in plain sight.

"You're suffering very loudly, I can even hear you through the window..." - Torchwick resolutely opened the package. - "But let's have some cake!" - A kitchen knife appeared in the boy's hands, and in a few seconds a plate of sweet-scented treats was slid to Ruby's side. - "I'm obliged to find out all the details," the visitor said in an enveloping voice, rewarding her little sister with an anticipatory smile.

It was the strangest tea party the sisters had ever had. And if there hadn't been three cups and the remains of cake and cookies left on the table when it was over, they would have thought they were dreaming. Oh, and, uh.

"He stole half my ammo!" - Yang roared, glaring at the surroundings with crimson eyes. - "I'll kill the bastard!"

Later. One of the Thief King's residences.

"Ugh," I stretched blissfully in the chair, "this was a little exhausting, but just what I needed. Neo, why didn't you ever tell me that hanging out with sweet innocent girls is so relaxing?"

" (O_o)."

"Oh, now, don't be like that! Who stole Dragonlance's ammo for snatching a piece you already had your sights set on and just waiting for the moment to discreetly cover it up with an illusion? Eh, I shudder to imagine what would have happened if that cake had been an ice cream cake."

" (>_<)!" - Immediately frowned and gave out a characteristic gesture. Yeah... for an ice cream cake, Neo could have started killing for it.

" But you have to admit, it's been a long time since we've had this much fun. "

" (^_^)," she nodded affirmatively. Half a minute to think. - "(O_o)?"

"Why would I want to do all this, you say...? There are several reasons, and the chance to just relax does appear on that list. But I'm also impressed with their potential, no matter how you look at it, but single-handedly taking down a bunch of men, kicking the ass of Melakite's sisters and Junior himself is quite an accomplishment for a seventeen year old girl, and knowing who her mother is... well, I want to be friends with a girl who has such great potential in the field of creating Chaos and Destruction. And I've seen her sister in action - she's got really good skills, and her passion for cookies indicates a great predisposition to the Dark Side. Anyway, why don't we expand from a duo to a quartet? Or else... what an interesting figure..."

" (x_x)..."

" And don't roll your eyes! Or are you jealous?"

"(>_>)..." - Neo's whole figure expressed her "pfft".

"That's right. But on a more serious note," I lean away from the back of the chair and rest my elbows on my knees, "you and I have been drawn into a game with very steep stakes. It's no longer a peaceful romance for two, when there's only us, our property, until the time kept by someone else, and the state, which almost always plays by the rules. Now we're tied to a bunch of scum and psychopaths we can't replace or send on a distant route. And there are a real lot of them. But worse, they're all completely unrelated to us - all it takes is a snap of Cinder's fingers, or any of the leaders of these "helpers" of hers, and everyone who was just on our backs, listening to every word with their tongues stuck up their asses, will immediately shoot us in the back. We're not meat, but we're obviously expendable, Neo. Once we've done our job, they'll get rid of us, because they don't need us on our own - we're like disposable hired guns who have a function to fulfill but no interest outside of it. And in this case, I'll feel better if there is someone ready to cover our backs during the climax, even if he, or rather, they, themselves do not suspect it yet."

" (о_-)..."

" Yes, they're technically on the enemy side for now, but that's not a problem, even a plus. Speaking of which," I lean back, catching the girl's gaze, "why would you steal ammo? You're not into firearms anyway, are you? "

" (<_<)..."

" I see, a matter of principle and revenge for the cake. Alright," I take out and light a cigar. - "What do you plan to do while we wait for our dear subcontractor representative?"

" (^____^)!" - the girl jumped right into my chair, sitting unceremoniously on my lap. - "(^_^), (>_>)..."

" Aren't you going to burst?" - Negative head shake. - "Okay, but what's in it for me?" - in response to the puppy dog eyes. - "La-aaaaaaaaaaaay," I couldn't resist such an ultimatum. And, come to think of it, it's not a bad tradition. With these thoughts, I pulled out a vase of ice cream from my spatial stash, -" but I'm still counting on a couple scoops! "

" (^_^)," - bite. Except I doubt I'll be able to get them....

***

The rest of the time before midnight was spent together watching an action movie with Spruce Willis. There was such an actor in this world, very shaggy and uncombed, by the way, something like Dzhigurda, but pumped up like iron Schwartz. Chases! Shootouts! Stuntmen! And a lot of real use of Aura. And it's all shot from good angles, with proper slo-mo and awesome special effects. Plus a wide sofa, a gorgeous girl pressed against your side, your body pleasantly aching after a busy day, and a glass of good brandy in your hands. That's happiness.

Having finished the movie, I kissed my beautiful maid goodnight, and that was the end of it and we said goodbye, sprawling to our rooms. I wasn't surprised, though, when the door creaked open at night (I'd messed up the hinges on purpose, so that no one could get in silently) and Neo came into my room in her nightgown. Besides the negligee, she had one pillow, one blanket, one blanket, and a very determined look, one blanket. Armed with all this, she, trying to make as little noise as possible, quietly crept toward my bed. I may not have the night vision of the fauns, but the "night light" gave more than enough light. But then came the... question, what should I do? Pretend to be asleep or... Who am I trying to fool, though?

"If you've come to smother me with a pillow and then wrap my body in a blanket, I warn you, I will resist!"

" (>_<)!"

" Well, if you don't, then get in, what the hell. I'll even be a gentleman and not molest you!" - though gods know it would take a monstrous effort on my part. Neo looked extremely appetizing in that pink shirt, even though it was tight enough not to show everything interesting, but at the same time thin enough to outline that 'interesting' perfectly.

" (-_-)..." - an expressive look.

" But I didn't consider the "I'll start hitting on you" option. N-but... you'll be gentle, right? I've never had such a thing happen to me before... to be hit on, I mean. "

"(-__-)..." - A heavy sigh and rolled her eyes, except I could still see a smile at the corner of her lips.

Calmed by her friend's usual behavior, the girl placed her pillow on the bed, the size of the bed allowed, then thought, dropped her blanket on the floor and began to take away part of mine.

"They came and usurped the territory, now they're taking away the blanket... I hope you don't shove in your sleep?" - I was shoved with a sharp elbow. - "Understood, the question is removed as irrelevant," - not paying attention to my grumbling, the girl was getting comfortable, almost curling up in a ball. At that moment, she looked extremely cute and defenseless. I turned on my side and put one arm around this miracle, pulling her close to me. - "Good night, Neo . "

" ..."-as always, silence was my answer, but from somewhere came the clear knowledge: the girl was smiling. And it was wonderful.